Back to school clothes- dress code

[momxx5]

While I wish we had some sort of uniform, our school has a pretty strict dress code. My DD, going into 6th grade spent the whole summer excited about entering middle school until it dawned on us that the empire waist/baby doll tops where a no-no. All shirts much be tucked in and pockets shown. They are still determining what is considered a "dress" with leggings, as many of the stores have long shirts paired with leggings. Skorts above the knee are also out....even with opaque tights......has anyone seen a skort at or below the knee? So any ideas on affordable clothes? Do you think we should kinda make our own idea of a school uniform.....capris & polos? I never had a problem with my 3 boys as they all wear khaki short with collared shirts. Thanks in advance.

 

[StephMK]

Wow, that is pretty strict! Capris were the first to come to my mind too. The only issues here are offensive shirts and no spaghetti straps. They should add no short shorts but I see them all the time at the HS.

 

[java]

Well LandsEnd has longer to the knee skorts and skirts. They actually tell you the ones that are to the knee.
That's a rule in our school as well- But what we have found is that if she wears LEGGINGS under the skirt it's ok. My daughter wears the plaid skirts from Justice with capri length leggings. And she hasn't had any problems.

Tank tops are not allowed but she can wear them with a sweater over it- which is always how she would wear them.

Shirts tucked in and pockets shown????? Was there some incident with someone? That's strange.

 

[tayandjensmom]

My 2 girls go to a private school and how I wish we had a uniform policy. It would be so much easier! We too have a very strict dress code. Shorts have to be longer then your finger tips (my kids are both 5'9, 6th and 8th grade) so finding shorts that long, just are not out there. They were a lot of capri's. Dresses are pretty much out too, you just can't find them long enough. We have church days, which mean dress up days. Khaki's and a nice shirt are the way we go. All shirts must have a sleeve and also be tucked in. No open back or open toe shoes (again, dress shoes very hard to find when you where a womans 11).

Just wanted to wish you luck, I feel your pain ! Lisa

 

[java]

My 2 girls go to a private school and how I wish we had a uniform policy. It would be so much easier! We too have a very strict dress code. Shorts have to be longer then your finger tips (my kids are both 5'9, 6th and 8th grade) so finding shorts that long, just are not out there. They were a lot of capri's. Dresses are pretty much out too, you just can't find them long enough. We have church days, which mean dress up days. Khaki's and a nice shirt are the way we go. All shirts must have a sleeve and also be tucked in. No open back or open toe shoes (again, dress shoes very hard to find when you where a womans 11).

Just wanted to wish you luck, I feel your pain ! Lisa

Right now Maryjanes are all over the place for women. My daughter wears the born shoes.
Again on dresses if you look on landsend they have ones to the knee(my daughter won't wear the dresses though - but she'll wear the khaki skirts)



Personally I am not a fan of uniforms. I think it's all about our rights as parents to dress our kids appropriately for school- A few that don't cause all these ridiculous rules. jmho

 

[Pigeon]

Personally I am not a fan of uniforms. I think it's all about our rights as parents to dress our kids appropriately for school- A few that don't cause all these ridiculous rules. jmho

I agree completely--no way would we do uniforms. And most public schools with uniforms actually have an opt out (they have to, depending on the state), but won't tell you about it unless you push hard. Our school has a perfectly reasonable dress code, and there are very few problems.

If I were you, OP, I'd want to know the reasoning behind the looniness of this particularly dress code.

Is this a private school? The no skorts above the knee is nuts. Could the kid wear a dress or skirt above the knee? If so, who'd know there were attached shorts underneath.

 

[princessmom29]

I LOVE uniforms, both as a teacher and a parent. There is no gray area about what is acceptable or not, and I do not have to make a judgement call about it. Either you are in uniform or not. I like it as a parent b/c of the problems you guys are sharing. i don't have to worry about what she wears to school, and the brand name, it's not in style, i want to wear what my friends are wearing debate is completely out of the equation. My DD goes to private school so it is one specific uniform form one supplier. I teach in public school, and we have no opt out policy that I am aware of. Our uniform is just kakis and a white button down though. There is not specific brand, and the only specification is that they can only be the 5 pocket style (no cargo's ect) and cannot be jean or cord. I don't see it as infringing on my freedom so much as siplifying my life.

 

[okeydokey]

My DD just started 6th grade too and her dress code is more restrictive this year, but they do not need to tuck shirts in. Shorts must touch the top of the knee which is tricky will my tall DD with long legs. Thankfully bermudas are back in. She went to her first day of school in these today from the Children's Place.

http://www.childrensplace.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdef_10001_10001_-1_546020

 

[Sandi S]

I agree completely--no way would we do uniforms. And most public schools with uniforms actually have an opt out (they have to, depending on the state), but won't tell you about it unless you push hard. Our school has a perfectly reasonable dress code, and there are very few problems.

If I were you, OP, I'd want to know the reasoning behind the looniness of this particularly dress code.

Is this a private school? The no skorts above the knee is nuts. Could the kid wear a dress or skirt above the knee? If so, who'd know there were attached shorts underneath.

It's not that looney. I teach middle school and I'll explain it: gangs and weapons. Not in my school you say? It only takes one to cause a big problem. Those problems are not limited by location or socio-economic status.

Yes, that does mean everybody pays the price, but there's a lot to be said for uniforms. It eliminates the what-to-wear dilemma, the fashion snobs, the haves and have-nots. It also has been statistically shown to reduce discipline incidents across the board. It's a safety issue on a number of levels plus how much of my teaching time do you want lost to deal with the boy who won't keep his sagging pants up or the girl with her cleavage hanging out? I'd rather spend my time teaching. Oh, and would you want to be the male teacher forced to deal with a female student dressed inappropriately? The guys I teach with find that one of those most distressing parts of their jobs. I run a lot of interference when I see some of the stuff the girls try to get away with. What about the boys? Middle school boys are notoriously distractable.

Bottom line is that "You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show"...

Also, if your school calls the uniform "academic attire" which is essentially a really strict dress code without requiring a specific outfit from a specific supplier, you won't get any exceptions to the rule short of a religious or medical one. Besides, no one wants to stick out, in middle school especially, so even if you got permission for your kid to wear something different, it would be a disaster peer-wise.

 

[Pigeon]

It's not that looney. I teach middle school and I'll explain it: gangs and weapons. Not in my school you say? It only takes one to cause a big problem. Those problems are not limited by location or socio-economic status.

Yes, that does mean everybody pays the price, but there's a lot to be said for uniforms. It eliminates the what-to-wear dilemma, the fashion snobs, the haves and have-nots. It also has been statistically shown to reduce discipline incidents across the board. It's a safety issue on a number of levels plus how much of my teaching time do you want lost to deal with the boy who won't keep his sagging pants up or the girl with her cleavage hanging out? I'd rather spend my time teaching. Oh, and would you want to be the male teacher forced to deal with a female student dressed inappropriately? The guys I teach with find that one of those most distressing parts of their jobs. I run a lot of interference when I see some of the stuff the girls try to get away with. What about the boys? Middle school boys are notoriously distractable.

Bottom line is that "You go to school to learn, not for a fashion show"...

Also, if your school calls the uniform "academic attire" which is essentially a really strict dress code without requiring a specific outfit from a specific supplier, you won't get any exceptions to the rule short of a religious or medical one. Besides, no one wants to stick out, in middle school especially, so even if you got permission for your kid to wear something different, it would be a disaster peer-wise.

My husband is a public high school teacher, so I'm well aware of the issues re uniforms. In no way do I find them compelling. Middle school boys are going to be distracted if you put the girls in chadors. Gang members can and do find ways to display their symbols uniforms or not. Kids also find ways to display their socioeconomic status, whether or not there are uniforms.

I simply would not buy uniforms for my kids, nor would I send them to school in them, period. If I wanted the school overreaching, I'd send them to private school. The school district could then provide an alternative education for my kids, as is their legal obligation. If they want to spend the additional 50% on the cost of educating our kids, as the alternative education costs in our district, that would be their problem. But fortunately, the uniform nuts haven't come our way.

There are lots of areas where parents can push back when they encounter bureaucratic idiocy. It just requires a little backbone.

 

[java]

Also, if your school calls the uniform "academic attire" which is essentially a really strict dress code without requiring a specific outfit from a specific supplier, you won't get any exceptions to the rule short of a religious or medical one. Besides, no one wants to stick out, in middle school especially, so even if you got permission for your kid to wear something different, it would be a disaster peer-wise.

I appreciate that you are a teacher. But that statement makes me very sad. My daughter beats to her own drum. She is going into 7th grade and fancies herself as a free spirit. She wears things from a variety of stores but believe me when I say she combines them like no one else. She wants to be herself not an everybody.
And she has no problems on the friend front.

"School is not a fashion show" Nor is it a prison or a blue collar job. We all carry on in life without uniforms. Would you mind if your teaching job required you to now wear a blue cardigan white polo and a skirt to your knee- along with mary janes?

 

[jodifla]

While I wish we had some sort of uniform, our school has a pretty strict dress code. My DD, going into 6th grade spent the whole summer excited about entering middle school until it dawned on us that the empire waist/baby doll tops where a no-no. All shirts much be tucked in and pockets shown. They are still determining what is considered a "dress" with leggings, as many of the stores have long shirts paired with leggings. Skorts above the knee are also out....even with opaque tights......has anyone seen a skort at or below the knee? So any ideas on affordable clothes? Do you think we should kinda make our own idea of a school uniform.....capris & polos? I never had a problem with my 3 boys as they all wear khaki short with colored shirts. Thanks in advance.

Shirts tucked in, pockets shown? What about overweight kids?

No skorts above the knee?? How moronic is that?

That dress code is a disaster!!!!!!!!

 

[cheerforchelsea]

They would just have to kick me out of school....I REFUSE to tuck in my shirt....never have in my 50 years and sure don't intend to start now!!!

Dress code here is basically shorts to the knee and no tank tops.

 

[ceecee]

We have a no midriff or cleavage showing, tops must cover the shoulders and no shorts, skirts (even w/leggings) or skorts that are shorter than the fingertips. I have seen 6th graders come to school in "bootie" shorts and it just is wrong, what are their parents thinking?
This year we have had to ban material book covers because certain boys last year decided to wear them as "do rags"???? Crazy!

 

[Sandi S]

I appreciate that you are a teacher. But that statement makes me very sad. My daughter beats to her own drum. She is going into 7th grade and fancies herself as a free spirit. She wears things from a variety of stores but believe me when I say she combines them like no one else. She wants to be herself not an everybody.
And she has no problems on the friend front.

"School is not a fashion show" Nor is it a prison or a blue collar job. We all carry on in life without uniforms. Would you mind if your teaching job required you to now wear a blue cardigan white polo and a skirt to your knee- along with mary janes?

I love it when kids prefer to move to their own beat. My statement is a reflection of what I see and what I know from over 15 years in the classroom. It's basic to adolescent development. If some child gets a special exception to the dress code, the other kids will have a fit (obvious medical/religious issue aside). Kids are very quick to point out inequities even if they are just perceived.

My teaching job has plenty of requirements as to what I can wear, do, have with me, etc. However, teachers are not students. That is blurring the line of respect toward professionals. In the schools in my district with academic attire, the teachers do not wear uniforms, but they do dress very professionally. They definitely aren't coming in sloppier than the kids.

I don't think it's fair to put prison and blue collar job in the same league. Somehow my "blue collar" neighbors who work as police officers, EMTs, and yes, garbage collectors seem to show a lot of pride in their hard work.

My husband is a public high school teacher, so I'm well aware of the issues re uniforms. In no way do I find them compelling. Middle school boys are going to be distracted if you put the girls in chadors. Gang members can and do find ways to display their symbols uniforms or not. Kids also find ways to display their socioeconomic status, whether or not there are uniforms.

I simply would not buy uniforms for my kids, nor would I send them to school in them, period. If I wanted the school overreaching, I'd send them to private school. The school district could then provide an alternative education for my kids, as is their legal obligation. If they want to spend the additional 50% on the cost of educating our kids, as the alternative education costs in our district, that would be their problem. But fortunately, the uniform nuts haven't come our way.

There are lots of areas where parents can push back when they encounter bureaucratic idiocy. It just requires a little backbone.

Somehow, I doubt you'd be able to win a case for alternative schooling paid for by the district simply because you don't like uniforms. Providing an appropriate alternative setting is something you do for a child who might, for example, have a disability or other special need or if a school is low-performing by NCLB standards for too many years. Those are the cases where the law comes into play (IDEA/504/NCLB).

I have seen very strong parent support for uniforms in my district. So far, only two of our elementary schools have gone to uniforms, but I'm disappointed my kids' school isn't one of them. It would make it a lot easier to buy school clothes and they would still have plenty of time outside of school to express themselves in whatever they want.

There will always be those who don't like something. That's life. Dress codes and/or uniforms are in place for good reasons. If you don't like what's in place at your school, talk to the administration, ask questions, look at overall district policy. Don't assume it's just some random rule.

 

[Sandi S]

We have a no midriff or cleavage showing, tops must cover the shoulders and no shorts, skirts (even w/leggings) or skorts that are shorter than the fingertips. I have seen 6th graders come to school in "bootie" shorts and it just is wrong, what are their parents thinking?
This year we have had to ban material book covers because certain boys last year decided to wear them as "do rags"???? Crazy!

Now, banning the material book covers is definitely too much. If you don't want the kids making them into doo-rags, you just enforce the no-hat policy which is a pretty standard dress code rule. Someone wasn't think there...

 

[Pigeon]

I love it when kids prefer to move to their own beat. My statement is a reflection of what I see and what I know from over 15 years in the classroom. It's basic to adolescent development. If some child gets a special exception to the dress code, the other kids will have a fit (obvious medical/religious issue aside). Kids are very quick to point out inequities even if they are just perceived.

My teaching job has plenty of requirements as to what I can wear, do, have with me, etc. However, teachers are not students. That is blurring the line of respect toward professionals. In the schools in my district with academic attire, the teachers do not wear uniforms, but they do dress very professionally. They definitely aren't coming in sloppier than the kids.

I don't think it's fair to put prison and blue collar job in the same league. Somehow my "blue collar" neighbors who work as police officers, EMTs, and yes, garbage collectors seem to show a lot of pride in their hard work.




Somehow, I doubt you'd be able to win a case for alternative schooling paid for by the district simply because you don't like uniforms. Providing an appropriate alternative setting is something you do for a child who might, for example, have a disability or other special need or if a school is low-performing by NCLB standards for too many years. Those are the cases where the law comes into play (IDEA/504/NCLB).

I have seen very strong parent support for uniforms in my district. So far, only two of our elementary schools have gone to uniforms, but I'm disappointed my kids' school isn't one of them. It would make it a lot easier to buy school clothes and they would still have plenty of time outside of school to express themselves in whatever they want.

There will always be those who don't like something. That's life. Dress codes and/or uniforms are in place for good reasons. If you don't like what's in place at your school, talk to the administration, ask questions, look at overall district policy. Don't assume it's just some random rule.

I certainly agree that the district isn't going to want to provide an alternative education. That's why most uniform policies do have an opt out. The schools will try to keep that as secret as possible. But at the end of the day, if a parent just says no to uniforms, what are they really going to do? Particularly if you have a high achieving, well behaved child, the last thing they are going to want to do is shell out for it.

If you or other parents want your children to dress like sheep, that's your perogative. But to try to force it on others in a public school is ludicrous.

We've opted out of several things that the district tries to present as inviolate.

 

[rumrunnergirl]

.

 

[maleficentmom]

Shirts tucked in, pockets shown? What about overweight kids?

No skorts above the knee?? How moronic is that?

That dress code is a disaster!!!!!!!!

Exactly. I realize the pocket thing may be a safety issue(especially if they have had trouble w/weapons or drugs), but overweight kids/or just the many girls who perceive themselves as overweight at that age are really going to have a hard time with that one. I just read a clip in our paper that a parent had fought this rule and won(she claimed that by tucking in her daughter's shirt that this was actually (to her) drawing attention to the daughters derriere, rather than more modestly covering it with an untucked shirt...don't know if she took it from a religious point of view or not.) After we took our 14 year old and bought her some of the plaid "Big Shirts" that the girls wear w/ leggings, our school announced "no leggings without a skirt over them". Well the shirt would cover so much of the skirt that it would look goofy, so now she is wearing them with jeans(resembling a lumberjack...but she was so proud of the shirts I couldn't say anything) We feel the OP's pain!!!!!!!!

 

[princessmom29]

HEre is my take on it and this is all I am going to say. Uniforms do nto rob students of their individuality. I have lots of students and they express their individual personalities every day in many ways, all while wearing the same uniform. Someone mentioned that gang members wil find a way to display their gang signs anyway. I don't care about the symbols, it is the guns that go with them. There is a great utube video that shows just how baggy pants can conceal an arsenal. Uniforms eliminate soooo much teasing and fighting amoung the kids about who is waering what brand name. Tucking in their shirts is also a safety issue, and I have never had an overweight child complain about it, because everyone has to do it so they are all in the same boat. The overweight child would just be more obvious with an untucked shirt (coming form someone who is pooh sized herself and always has been) All in all as an educator I think that uniforms have vastly improved our school climate and the self esteem of our students in general. The number of fights and office referrals has dropped by a large margin since the policy was put in place. We have some fairly low income students mixed with fairly affluent students, and now everyone is on the same footing as far as clothes go. The children whose parents just can't afford to dress them is $200 shoes and $100 jeans no longer have to fell substandard. It allows me to be free to focus teaching rather that moderating disagreeements about clothing or dealing with dress code violations which inevitabley resulted in a 10 min discussion on why the patricular item was a violation.
I realize that there are a lot of parents that think that the school should not be able to tell them how to dress their kids, btu please be aware that at least at our school, we aretrying to do waht is best for the kids. Both emotionally and academically. It really has made a huge positive diffference in our school climate!