Baby-Sitting

[design_mom]

We are supposed to have friends near by????? All my friends with kids are an hour away. I would love to have someone to swap with though. I live in California, but we have much lower wages than I think most places.

To be honest, I do not have a lot of mom friends either. I am quite introverted and I have plenty of "friendly acquaintences" but I don't have a "tribe." However, I don't think you have to be besties to arrange a babysitting swap. If your kids have friends, especially mutual friends, it can work out fine. In fact, sending them with THEIR friends is probably better than sending them with YOUR friends. "Hi Jennifer. My little Emma loves to play with your little Sophie. I was wondering if you'd consider a babysitting swap? I'm looking for someone to watch Emma and her little brother Alex from 3-7pm two Saturdays from now. If you'd be willing to watch them for me, I'd be happy to watch Sophie and Olivia for you some night so you and Dave can have a date night."

 

[aprilchem]

Going rate in my area is $20/hour for more than one kid, if you hire a high school or college students. Middle School students charge less, usually $10 an hour.

My kids are just reaching the age where they can stay home for a few hours alone, but in the first 12 years we've had kids I'd say we hired babysitters less than 5 times. The cost of dinner + an activity + babysitting is just too high. We have been able to participate in a few "parents night out" things at our YMCA and karate place where they charge $10/kid for the whole evening.

 

[morgan98]

$10 an hour for a CPR certified over 18 adult to watch 3 kids? I cannot believe that is considered unreasonable. By your own admission, she raised the price because there are three and they are rambunctious.

What your personal income situation is has nothing to do with what you should be paying for a service, the going rate does.

I think you may need to find a younger person who is more desperate for cash to babysit for a lower rate, but what are you going to save $1/hour?

 

[DisneyElite4]

The problem with swaps is that I really don't want to babysit anyone else's kids. Been there, done that. Additionally, I have three kids and the only people willing to swap with me have larger families also, which means potentially having 6-7 kids under 6 be my responsibility for the evening. No thanks! I think swapping is a great option for smaller families or for those with older children who don't require as much hands-on parenting.

We don't do many date nights with a paid sitter either for the same reasons as the OP. No family nearby. However, we visit with both sides of the family frequently and they always give us at least one date night whenever we go to see them or they come here. Also, a lot of the local churches around here will do date nights where you can leave your children for free for the evening, so we always sign up for those! Between family and church date nights we average going out about once a month!

As for how we afford our life with three children - very carefully. Years of saving before having kids and paying off all debt before having them.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I grew up in the 70s, and DB and I had a babysitter at least once a month ($1/hr), because my parents valued their "date night" (or adult only affair). Fast forward to the late '90s, and we hired a babysitter for DS ($5/hr) about as often, at least once a month, because we valued our alone time together away from the house (and didn't have any family members close enough to help out).

Now I look at my generation of cousins who have kids ranging in age from infants to early teens, and NONE of them have a regular sitter, go out much, or anything (and yes, they all have good jobs). I don't know why, since I have *wonderful* memories of the fun I had with my babysitter, and DS actually invited his favorite one to his high school graduation party . (And we are those "terrible" parents who let our son sleep out in the woods with his friends, but long after he was past the age of needing a babysitter, so...)

Terri

I babysat during the early 80's. I made $1 an hour. I worked every weekend, plus a couple of evenings throughout the week. If you wanted me to work for you on a major holiday, you better have called me a couple of months in advance.

Nowadays, it is all about minimum wage.

 

[SharonZ]

Wow, that's really cheap!

 

[superme80]

$10 an hour for a CPR certified over 18 adult to watch 3 kids? I cannot believe that is considered unreasonable. By your own admission, she raised the price because there are three and they are rambunctious.

What your personal income situation is has nothing to do with what you should be paying for a service, the going rate does.

I think you may need to find a younger person who is more desperate for cash to babysit for a lower rate, but what are you going to save $1/hour?

Oh she didn't raise the prices. I chose to pay her that. I felt and still feel she is worth it. I think my sticker shock was baby-sitting cost more than our day out. That is all.

 

[Southernmiss]

So now after most everyone replied that $10 is cheap for an adult with her qualifications to watch your kids you say that you knew you were giving her $10 per hour all along and agree that her services are very worth it and chose to stay out for 7 hours on Saturday, then come to the message board to complain about how much it costs for babysitting?

Ummm. OK...

Did you think folks would think $10 an hour was paying too much for your sitter and you would get other responses?

 

[BadgerGirl84]

Where you live does play a big part, but it's also what people are willing to give up their time for. Where I am, I don't know anyone would would watch three littles for less than $20 an hour.

Where I live, employees at daycares make between $10-14/hr. A recent nanny I had was making $12/hr at a local highly rated Montisorri style daycare, so it was a big raise for her to be making $14/hr at my house watching a lot fewer kids. It's really regional. I don't know of any nannies or sitters in my area that make $20/hr.

 

[ashley0139]

We never paid babysitters when my kids were little. We took them with us, or didn't do it. On the rare occasion we HAD to do something and the kids couldn't go, my SIL or MIL watched them.

WARNING: RANT AHEAD:

$18 an hour??!! I didn't make that much money an hour until I had a bachelor's degree! holy crap!!

Despite what many on here are saying, it's not "cheaping out" to pay a babysitter less than minimum wage. Min wage was $4.25 when I used to babysit in HS (in the 90's), and the going babysitting rate was $2.00-$2.50/hr, and for that pay, I used to do a pretty good job! It's really not THAT hard to keep kids alive and safe for a few hours, so what do they need $18/hour for today??!!

Personally, I think that charging (and paying!) that much is insane, and like everything else, parents feel guilted into paying that much because they think that paying any less - and then something happening - will make them bad parents. Things are going to happen no matter if you are paying a 15 year old $6-$8 (which I think is much more reasonable for a kid to earn babysitting for a few hours) or if you are paying them $18.

But I get it - we are raising entitled kids in an entitled world, in an entitled time. They expect to be paid $18/hour to make some mac and cheese and put the kids to bed at 8pm, and sit around watching Netflix for a few hours. And parents agree to pay it. Why? Because it's SOOOO unheard of for a teen to be expected to keep a kid safe and fed for 20 bucks while their parents have a date-night? In order to provide these VERY basic duties, these kids have to be paid more than most of the parents started off making after college?

What a racket.

To those willingly paying that much, and enjoying doing so, more power to you. But don't fool yourself into thinking you are getting any "better" care for your kid. A 15 year old is a 15 year old, no matter how much s/he is getting paid.

YMMV.

There is someone entitled in this scenario, but it's not the teenagers.

 

[GreatLakes]

We haven't had to pay for a babysitter yet. We have family or friends watch our guy when we go out but I can't imagine paying less than minimum wage if we did ever pay for someone.

 

[kmb584]

As others have said, $10/hr for 3 kids is a fantastic bargain! I don't live in a high cost of living area and $10/hr is what new babysitters are charging for the first child and $5/ea for each additional one.

In the summer of 1998, I took a full-time summer babysitting job. It was from 7:30-3:00 and they paid me $40/day for watching their two children. I did that for two summers before I began babysitting for another family in 2000. They paid me $18/hr for 4 kids.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Call me crazy, but I never had a problem paying good money for someone I trusted to take care of my children when they were young.

 

[scrapquitler]

Let me say that our baby-sitter is amazing. She has been watching my boys for 4 years now. She is over 18, CPR certified, and has a car.

But holy cow is it expensive! She originally charged $5 an hour, but for the amount of kids we have, and how rambunctious they are, we pay $10 an hour. DH and I went out to lunch, bowling, and dessert with friends. Afterwards we hit up Target for about 30 mins. We paid around $70 for baby-sitting. This is why we rarely go out on the weekends. Anyone else pay this rate or more? The rate people pay for baby-sitting has always fascinated me. When I used to baby-sit, the worse children ever, I made about $20 for 6 hours of baby-sitting.

I don't know....you are entrusting your three most precious things to a babysitter for $10/hour, and think it's too much, but we as a society are supposed to believe that paying $15/hr to someone flipping burgers is reasonable? There's such a disconnect there that I can't even comprehend...

If you have a good babysitter for just $10/hour, which it sounds like you do, I'd hold on tight and be grateful that you can use her, and I'd give her a nice birthday gift, christmas gift, etc. and tell her how much you appreciate her.

I used to pay my own mother over $10/hour (I'd actually give her $75/day, which sometimes was 6 hours, sometimes 8 hours) to watch my kids when they were younger because she was rearranging her schedule for my convenience and I was so grateful to have a little bit of time away from them.

 

[superme80]

I don't know....you are entrusting your three most precious things to a babysitter for $10/hour, and think it's too much, but we as a society are supposed to believe that paying $15/hr to someone flipping burgers is reasonable? There's such a disconnect there that I can't even comprehend...

If you have a good babysitter for just $10/hour, which it sounds like you do, I'd hold on tight and be grateful that you can use her, and I'd give her a nice birthday gift, christmas gift, etc. and tell her how much you appreciate her.

I used to pay my own mother over $10/hour (I'd actually give her $75/day, which sometimes was 6 hours, sometimes 8 hours) to watch my kids when they were younger because she was rearranging her schedule for my convenience and I was so grateful to have a little bit of time away from them.

Oh I do not think flipping burgers for $15 an hour is reasonable. As I said in a previous post that I am pretty sure that wages are lower in this part of California. And honestly yes I do believe that $10 is reasonable. I see that it is not reasonable in other parts of the country. The sticker shock was baby-sitting costing more than my date. She is happy to watch my kids for the price set, and I am happy to pay it. Once she moves on, we will probably just wait until we can have my parents watch the kids or our old neighbors who will watch them once a year or so. We rarely do date night, so it is a huge treat for us.

 

[soccerdad72]

Oh I do not think flipping burgers for $15 an hour is reasonable. As I said in a previous post that I am pretty sure that wages are lower in this part of California. And honestly yes I do believe that $10 is reasonable. I see that it is not reasonable in other parts of the country. The sticker shock was baby-sitting costing more than my date. She is happy to watch my kids for the price set, and I am happy to pay it. Once she moves on, we will probably just wait until we can have my parents watch the kids or our old neighbors who will watch them once a year or so. We rarely do date night, so it is a huge treat for us.

To be fair, it does sound like your date night was longer than a typical one - if I read your OP correctly, it was 7 hours. My wife and I have gone to dinner and a play and been gone less time that that.

 

[superme80]

To be fair, it does sound like your date night was longer than a typical one - if I read your OP correctly, it was 7 hours. My wife and I have gone to dinner and a play and been gone less time that that.

It was. Our activities were cheaper than baby-sitting, that never happens! I'm calling it a first time for everything!