Baby shower given after birth, for fear of something going wrong?

[Chicago526]

My friends sister is pregnant with her first child, due in February. My friend and I got together for dinner the other night, and I asked about her sister and how she was doing. "Great, no problems, she feels fine etc." I asked if there was going to be a baby shower, since I plan on giving a gift I wanted to get a head start in coming up with something.

"Yes, but she wants to wait until after the baby is born, just in case."

I almost asked 'just in case of what?' when it dawned on me, it was just in case she miscaries, the baby is still born, or there are other major problems after birth.

On one hand, I guess it make sense, that if a tradgedy happens, the parents don't come home to a decked out nursery, talk about insuld to injury. On the other hand, it seems a bit pessamistic. I've never heard of anyone doing that before. As far as I know, the pregnancy is progessing just fine so I don't know why they'd be anticipating problems. If it were a high risk pregnancy it would make a lot more sence.

Has anyone else done this, or know someone that has? All the previous showers I've been to have been before the main event!

 

[golfgal]

Actually, way back when and many people still practice this, all showers were done after the baby was born for that reason. Some people go as far as not setting up the nursery or doing any baby prep stuff until after the baby is born.

 

[Marseeya]

My shower was held after DS was born because I wasn't feeling well at all towards the end of the pregnancy. Plus, we wanted to wait and see what I was having.

It was nice at that time because I felt a ton better and everyone got to ooh and ahh over the baby.

 

[frndshpcptn]

This is very common in the Jewish religion.

A friend of mine had a baby last eyar - and while she is Jewish she married a Non-Jewish person. His family threw the shower and her friends/family that attended did not bring gifts. They waited and gave them after the baby was born.

 

[KAMLEM]

And you get to enjoy a glass of wine if it's after!

 

[scubamouse]

my sisters had no showers - just parties afterwards. neither of them were high risk pregnancies. when we adopted DS we had parties afterwards too ... just in case. same when DD was born.

I have far too many friends that have had still births to think any pregnancy is low risk.

 

[Beth76]

I've heard of this being a Jewish tradition and I also think some Asian cultures practice this as well.

 

[Pooh67_68]

I can see wanting to wait, we had a shower for a cousin before the baby and than the baby was still born. (cousin was not a high risk pregnancy)

 

[disneylizzy]

Around here it is my Italian friends that have the shower after the baby is born.

 

[Stitchfans]

Yes from what I hear this isn't all that uncommon. My ex husbands family always waited until after the birth to give a gift or a shower.

 

[Chicago526]

Huh. Okay, must just be me. Like I said, it does make a certain amount of sense, I'd just never heard of it before. Thanks!

 

[mickeyboat]

Two thoughts - one may be the concern about it being bad luck. Second - does she know the genger of the baby yet? Maybe she is waiting until birth to find out, and would rather receive gender-specific gifts.

My due date was October 15. My surprise shower was scheduled for August 17. My water broke the morning of my shower. I was put on bedrest at home, and my even though DH begged, my doctor would not let me attend the shower. I ended up being admitted that night, and the shower went on as planned, without me. They videotaped the whole thing for me, and put my picture in the cradle that FIL built for the baby. They brought "me" food and punch, a little girl at the shower said "I have never been to a shower where the baby person wasn't there." I was in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks before I was induced, so MIL brought up a few gifts every night for me to open - and I had plenty of time to get those thank you notes done!

Some of my friends decided to have a shower after the baby was born, so I did get to experience one after all. That one was nice because everyone knew Hannah was a girl, and a premie - so I got some really nice premie things, too.

Denae

 

[luvwinnie]

My family doesn't do baby showers at all...they think it's "bad luck".

 

[Evil Princess]

My family doesn't do it on either side, and I'm Italian/German.

I was surprised when I found out. I can understand the whole bad luck thing, but also its probably more useful to get gifts that are sex-specific.

 

[aprincessmom]

Has anyone else done this, or know someone that has?

I did this. It's common practice in my family and we are Italian. Most of my friends who are of italian heritage also do this.

 

[Sparx]

heres a thought, and I dont' want to make you worry, but maybe there is something that you don't know about. like maybe she is worried about something but doesn't want to worry everyone else. I can see the thought behind it.

 

[Missy1961]

When we were planning a shower for my sister before my nephew was born, my mom expressed these feelings. But we understood, because my mom had a miscarriage & a set of twins who didn't live very long.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I think about half the showers I attend are after the baby is born. There a lot more fun to go to since everyone can see and hold the new baby. And it's true, you never know what could happen. When my first son was born, he spent the first month in the NICU with all sorts of problems, and it was heartbreaking to come home to a house full of baby things we couldn't use. I think it's a great idea having them after the birth.

 

[castleview]

I had my baby shower when DD was 3 weeks old. It was great. I didn't get an overabundance of yellow outfits and everyone got to see the baby. I think it's a great way to go.

 

[coliebird]

I did this. It's common practice in my family and we are Italian. Most of my friends who are of italian heritage also do this.

I'm Italian and we always have showers before the baby arrives.