Aspergers Question/ Help Please OT

[fostrmom2mny]

I want to ask the experts out here who are caregivers to children with Aspergers. I work with families with behavioral health needs. I have been a foster parent for 11 years and have had 41 children in my home. One of our foster sons lived with us for four years. He had autistic characteristics and when he first came to us at age 7, he would throw pretty intense tantrums when he was around his bio mom. He had very few around us as we were able to recognize when they were starting and we would redirect him, so the tantrums were never anything that we wasn't able to handle, and with our support, his mother and him learned how they could manage the behaviors enough that he was returned home.

Please know that I am not trying to start any flames. I truly believe that she loved her son and did the very best for him that she could under her circumstances, the energy that it takes to raise a child with special needs is tremendous, and she didn't have anyone but herself. (It took my husband and I BOTH to just get him ready for school most mornings for the first two and half years, and then it would take us an hour to rest from the excursion.)

My question is in what type of support do you need with your child. I went on a crisis call today for a family who has a child with Aspergers. When we got there, the 14 yr. old boy had been having a major meltdown for over two hours. We finally started to get him to calm down after about ten min or so. He had hit both of his brothers, his mother, put holes in their walls, and while we were there, he went thru about three min. (seemed like an hour) of hitting himself in the head. We are not allowed to restrain, and called the Mobil Crisis Unit right away. By the time that the Crisis team arrived, we had him calmed down for about an hour, but you could still see blood on the side of his face from when he was hitting himself. The parents were told that he did not meet criteria for going inpatient. He has never had an inpatient stay in the past, but having worked in my job for six years now, I can only remember two other young men that was at the degree of need for inpatient. The other two also had Aspergers. We were trying to help put some safety guards in place, but truthfully, only came up with isolating him from his brothers (having them leave the area) and having one parent stay with him and remain calm, while the other calls the Crisis Unit. I feel for this family and wish I knew more about what support might work. They assured us that they have tried MANY interventions, but none of them work for more than a time or two.

Your comments are appreciated. What do you do when your child goes thru a melt down? Does something work better than another? Thank you to any help.

 

[Forevryoung]

I have severe "melt downs" myself- even at the age of 22 (I have "issues"). I can get to the point where i screaming, crying, jumping up and down, wringing my hands (you get the picture I'm sure).

It depends on the trigger- frequently I just need someone to give me a command with explicit directions like "you are going to take a nap and I will check with you in 30 minutes" or "go take a shower and then come talk" or if im overwhelmed with an activity (whether it's ordering from a menu, deciding what to wear or overwhelmed with my work load) I can focus on one thing at a time if decisions are limited like "wear the black pants with the gray shirt or the white shirt with the brown skirt" or "write one more page of your assignment then take a 10 minute break". I tend to listen to those I reach out for help from (family, best friends, boyfriend...) and they are usually good at "freezing" my brain.