Are you the 'apologiser' in your relationship?

[florida-again]

Sorry for the sudden influx of relationship questions, I'm having a hard time with BF....

I wondered if anyone on this board would consider themself to be the 'apologiser' in the relationship?

I am always the one that apologises in our relationship, never ever BF.

Strangely when we were first together, and in my past relationships, I was always the person who 'wore the trousers' in the relationship.

Now, even when I know he is totally 100% out of line, I apologise, simply because it makes things easier and solves them quicker.

I should add, BF is not a total brute, he is an absolute angel, but this seems to be his one downfall...he always thinks he's right!

 

[grinningghost]

I'd say we're about equal. Of course, I do almost nothing that ever requires an apology.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

I think that being the "apologizer" is a trait that some people just have. I am an apologizer, big time- even when I know I wasn't wrong. It doesn't make me weak- I am very strong willed, and fight for what I believe is right. But when I love someone- I want them to feel happy- hence my need to apologize when there is disagreement of any kind.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Got a husband who always thinks he's right too. The words "I'm sorry" never been uttered either even when he has hurt my feelings. That's the main reason I teach my kids that it take a very big person to apologize even when you think you are right just so the relationship can go forward. You never know it may not be about being right or wrong, the other person's feeling may have been hurt by your actions.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

We're about equal. I'd say we are both fair. We rarely fight.

I think if you are constantly apologizing, even when he has done something wrong, you need to maybe step back and look at the situation a little closer because that is not healthy at all.

 

[florida-again]

I think that being the "apologizer" is a trait that some people just have. I am an apologizer, big time- even when I know I wasn't wrong. It doesn't make me weak- I am very strong willed, and fight for what I believe is right. But when I love someone- I want them to feel happy- hence my need to apologize when there is disagreement of any kind.

Phew, I'm glad it's not just me. Now I think of it, my friends are always telling me to stop apologising to them too...and I'm a really strong person as well/

 

[Rozzie]

I always am first to apologize, I consider myself a peacemaker. I hate fighting and would rather apologize first to get it over with.

 

[Kimberly]

It's actually about equal. He says I don't get mad at him enough sometimes (I'm very even tempered).