Are You Nice?

[auntpolly]

What is nice, anyway?

I think most of us like to think of ourselves as "nice" people, but it's so rare that I run into someone who I think is genuinely nice. People I know always say I'm nice, and I say, "Not really, you just don't know me very well."

I'm nice when people are nice to me. I can just be not very nice when I think people are not being nice to me -- or my family -- or my friends -- or anyone who can't defend themself. In other words, I am nice conditionally. Not just nice for nice sake.

I admire people who are nice, but some people who other people think are nice, I just think are big fakes.

What is nice? Is it all about smiles and compliments? I think I equate "nice" with "kind" -- people that I like and think are nice are never, for example, sarcastic about other people. People who I think are nice, are nice to everyone and kind people. I wish I could be like that.

What is nice? Are you nice?

 

[slo]

I do believe that I am "nice"

I enjoy all different types of people, and even when someone is not "nice" to me, I am still "nice" to them. Now if someone were really really mean to me, I could dish it back, but I would have to be really defending myself.

 

[Chilehead Too]

Hey Lovey, what a great thought provoking question.

It is quite easy to be nice to strangers, people you meet in lines at the grocery store, movie theaters, people ou know casually at the gym, church etc.

People who are in your life is another story altogether. I equate honesty, loyalty, consideration and consistancy to niceness. I don't mind the ocassional mood from anyone, (we all have our days) however, I cannot tolerate someone who is nice on the surface but displays the traits I have mentioned.

Myself, I am not always "nice" but I am a very loving, loyal and honest person and always consistant.

 

[MushyMushy]

No, I don't think I'm nice, but I am a good person. My DH, on the other hand, is a very nice person, but would definitely screw you over. In a "nice" way. He and I have talked about that quite a bit, and how it doesn't seem fair that I get such a bad rap for being a w-itch, but I would never hurt anyone. I'm not saying he's a bad person. He'd do anything in the world for you too, but if you're going to trust one of us, I'm the one to trust. Know what I mean?

I'm very polite when I meet people, and very proper, but I'm not smiley or friendly. I can come off as sarcastic. It takes me a while to warm up to people, so as a result, I don't come off as very friendly, warm, or inviting. However, once I do warm up to you, I'll give you the shirt off my back and I'll be loyal to you for life.

 

[Stitch Inside]

I'm naughty and nice.

 

[The Mayor]

I have my moments...until people piss me off.

 

[auntpolly]

My DH, on the other hand, is a very nice person, but would definitely screw you over.

I don't know your DH don't want to pick on him, but this is interesting. I have a really good friend that is really truly "nice" I think in the classically accepted way -- everyone loves him. He's got the smile, the charm, the wit. He always really listens when he talks to people and asks about them in ways that make you feel special. ("how's your mom? she had surgery right? Is she doing OK" or "I heard your son made the dean's list! Good for him!") But when the person is out of ear range he is totally making fun of them. And he would be the person I know most likely to screw someone over.

He seems nice. But he's not nice. But I can't help but like him anyway .

 

[auntpolly]

Hey Lovey,
.

Hey there -- thanks for calling me Lovey! That was nice!!!

 

[Bob Slydell]

Are you nice?

Depends on who you ask

 

[Barb]

I used to be. Over the past year and a half, things have changed. I've become more synical and hard-hearted.

 

[Kitty 34]

I was nice up until Menopause!!!

 

[PrincessDeb]

Some of the women I work with say "Oh, Deb's so NICE" like it's a bad thing! I like being nice!

Deb

 

[auntpolly]

I was nice up until Menopause!!!

LOL I never feel very nice during hot flashes either!!!

 

[auntpolly]

Some of the women I work with say "Oh, Deb's so NICE" like it's a bad thing! I like being nice!

Deb

That's another thing -- I think we as a culture are starting to kind of value sarcasm and the word that rhymes with "witchiness" too much.

 

[MushyMushy]

I don't know your DH don't want to pick on him, but this is interesting. I have a really good friend that is really truly "nice" I think in the classically accepted way -- everyone loves him. He's got the smile, the charm, the wit. He always really listens when he talks to people and asks about them in ways that make you feel special. ("how's your mom? she had surgery right? Is she doing OK" or "I heard your son made the dean's list! Good for him!") But when the person is out of ear range he is totally making fun of them. And he would be the person I know most likely to screw someone over.

He seems nice. But he's not nice. But I can't help but like him anyway .

It's not like that with my DH, and it's kind of hard to explain. He's very much like his mother. On the outside, she's a total sweetheart; very sweet and gushy. But then they'll make you promises -- sometimes big promises -- that they may intend on keeping, but can't be possible. They both lie. Mostly to make themselves look better because they have very low self esteem. They can be kind of sneaky and underhanded. Also very passive aggressive. Just as an example, if I ask him to cook dinner and he doesn't want to do it, rather than saying no, he'll cook dinner and BURN it or do something to it to make it bad (too much salt, or too much hot spice when he knows the kids and I won't eath burny spicy foods).

I don't mean to make it sound like he's an awful person. It's just a fault of his, and we all have our faults. Mine is that I'm hard to live with, and very cynical and sarcastic. We love each other very much, and have so much in common.

 

[SandraVB79]

I'm not nice. Never been, never will.

 

[Saphire]

Yes, I think of myself as a nice person. I think the definition is probably subjective, though. To me, someone who is nice has a somewhat gentle approach, has an eye out for the other person, and is pleasant and helpful to be around.
I think the true test is what you are like at home, however. It is somewhat easy to be nice to strangers and co-workers, but the real confirmation is in how you treat your spouse and kids, or those you live with. Ask them.

 

[auntpolly]

I don't mean to make it sound like he's an awful person. .

Oh, I know, we all have our faults! My DH doesn't even try to be nice! Sometimes he is, just by accident, but the appearance of niceness just isn't important at all to him -- sometimes ya want to smack him, but ya just gotta love him!!!

 

[auntpolly]

I think the true test is what you are like at home, however. It is somewhat easy to be nice to strangers and co-workers, but the real confirmation is in how you treat your spouse and kids, or those you live with. Ask them.

That's so true! I hadn't thought of that! I always thought it was easier to be nice to my DH and DD -- I mean, I'd commit murder for them!!!!

 

[Chicago526]

I've been told I'm nice, by several people, so I guess I am!