Are we too stressed?

[Toad_Passenger]

From the DIS to the line at the coffee shop I see more and more examples of people flying off the handle for, seemingly, ridiculous things.

Is this a case where we, as a society, are wayyy overstressed, or is something else going on?

This morning I saw a man go into full tirade mode, complete with profanities, about the fact that the guy at Dunkin' Donuts poured him a medium coffee, instead of a large. A simple, "Excuse me, I ordered a large, not a medium," obviously didn't suffice, but, instead, the man practically lept over the counter to undress the worker in front of a line of customers.

Seriously, what is going on when something like that can cause someone to snap? I see it more and more, everyday. Road rage incidents over simple things, people constantly criticizing and complaining. Is this a worldwide movement, or is it uniquely American?

I just don't know anymore.

 

[WDWisTheBest]

I believe there are many more who just take things as they happen.

 

[bicker]

True. However, I do believe that there is a trend, and that it parallels the upward trend in the sense of entitlement.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I don't see the outbursts much and it is shocking when I see them.

I'm not sure if it is too stressed as someone who has anger management issues. Anger is a tough emotion--and it is healthy as it warns us to back away from the situation before we explode. Someone who cannot manage their anger is more apt to string a lace of profanities over the wrong size coffee cup.

Someone who is stressed would probably sigh in exasperation, say something like--"this always happens to me" and appear flustered and unable to cope with said mis-poured cup of coffee.

Your Dunkin' Donuts example seemed more like an abuser versus a stressed out guy.

And sometimes folks do reach their breaking point necessitating a complaint--but even then, there is upset--and then there is abusive. Dunkin' donuts dude is the latter.

 

[Toad_Passenger]

I don't see the outbursts much and it is shocking when I see them.

I'm not sure if it is too stressed as someone who has anger management issues. Anger is a tough emotion--and it is healthy as it warns us to back away from the situation before we explode. Someone who cannot manage their anger is more apt to string a lace of profanities over the wrong size coffee cup.

Someone who is stressed would probably sigh in exasperation, say something like--"this always happens to me" and appear flustered and unable to cope with said mis-poured cup of coffee.

Your Dunkin' Donuts example seemed more like an abuser versus a stressed out guy.

And sometimes folks do reach their breaking point necessitating a complaint--but even then, there is upset--and then there is abusive. Dunkin' donuts dude is the latter.

That's a pretty good analysis, I never looked at it from the standpoint that stress may cause a different reaction.

I've definitely seen an increase in these type of "abusive" behaviors, and I'm amazed that I'm still shocked at them. I was just curious if this is noticeable in other countries, or is something happening here in the States that is causing it to be more overt.

 

[diznygirl]

I see it around my house a lot. It means we all need more sleep!

I'd be curious to know if the rest of the country needs more sleep as well - it's hard to hold it all together when you are exhausted all the time. I guess it's a side-effect of being stressed - not getting enough sleep.

 

[Acklander]

The best book I've ever read is "The Four Agreements". It's amazing how easily it is to just let things go, and how much more enjoyable life is without all the stress and pressure.

 

[LuvOrlando]

I think the national mood has absolutely changed. Money concerns cause a great deal of trouble. Financial problems cause significant stress which leads to all sorts of issues and with 15.1 million citizens unemployed (does not include home makers, retired folks and illegals) that leaves a great number of upset people bumping into each other out in the world. To me it is no surprise. Desperate people are dangerous people and these issues aren't just here in the US, the whole world is suffering

 

[eliza61]

I don't see the outbursts much and it is shocking when I see them.

I'm not sure if it is too stressed as someone who has anger management issues. Anger is a tough emotion--and it is healthy as it warns us to back away from the situation before we explode. Someone who cannot manage their anger is more apt to string a lace of profanities over the wrong size coffee cup.

Someone who is stressed would probably sigh in exasperation, say something like--"this always happens to me" and appear flustered and unable to cope with said mis-poured cup of coffee.

gotta disagree with you on this one Lisa well maybe not disagree as to say I think its simplified, anger is generally a major sign of stress. Usually the first thing people will say when they see uncharateristic anger is "that person has a lot of stress". A anger management problem generally manifest itself often and early.

A person who is stressed and suffering from anxiety because they are about to lose their job will not sign over the mis poured cup of coffee, he is more inclined to rage. He has no control over his job so the coffee becomes another "straw" on the camels back.


I do think we are experiencing more stress.

1) 24/7 exposure to "bad news". No more down time. even here on the dis where you would think is a pretty "happy" place, can be filled with complaints. from the time we wake up to the time we go to bed we hear how we are on the verge of destruction. I make it a point to unplug on Sundays.

I know people who come back to work on Monday more stressed than when they left on Friday. between 24/7 trying to entertain their kids and then shopping and running around all day sunday, when do they get 1 hour to simply chill?

Look at these boards, how many people stress over trying to plan the "perfect" Disney trip. God forbid they don't ride TSM 5 times.

2) sense of entitlement. We do have a sense of "I deserve". once again, how many commercials do you hear that spout "you deserve" that new car or that trip to disney. then when it doesn't happened we're mad.

3) technology is turning us into mini "islands". basically you no longer have to interface with others. we plug in and tune out. How many people do you see pretty much wandering around through their daily life with some thing stuck in the ears.

4) instant gratification. patience is no longer how strong suit. we want instantaneous results, instantaneous entertainment and service. God forbid we have to actually wait 2 minutes to recieve our cup of coffee and if you don't gun it, the nanosecond the light turns green, watch out.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Good thought on the not enough sleep idea. I think most of the people I work and volunteer with are often tired. Just last night a group I am planning an event with was trading e-mails until 11:30. I know I am tired today but still have my list to accomplish. We seem to honor being overworked and busy in our society. Couple that with the financial stress right now and you get a lot of cranky people running around!

 

[SaraJayne]

Good thought on the not enough sleep idea. I think most of the people I work and volunteer with are often tired. Just last night a group I am planning an event with was trading e-mails until 11:30. I know I am tired today but still have my list to accomplish. We seem to honor being overworked and busy in our society. Couple that with the financial stress right now and you get a lot of cranky people running around!

That's a good point about being "busy" all the time. Down time is not encouraged, for the most part.

Think how over-scheduled some poor kids are, and parents not willing to take vacation. I really wish the US would adopt the european mindset about downtime and taking time off and relaxing.

I think it also comes back to some people believing they are more important than everyone else. This is something we fight daily with our 13 year old son (14 in a week) and it's like banging your head against the wall.

No, you aren't more important than any one else and your life will be much happier/easier/stress free once you realize that.

 

[eliza61]

That's a good point about being "busy" all the time. Down time is not encouraged, for the most part.

Think how over-scheduled some poor kids are, and parents not willing to take vacation. I really wish the US would adopt the european mindset about downtime and taking time off and relaxing.
I think it also comes back to some people believing they are more important than everyone else. This is something we fight daily with our 13 year old son (14 in a week) and it's like banging your head against the wall.

No, you aren't more important than any one else and your life will be much happier/easier/stress free once you realize that.

LOL. Sara, I think we would die from heart failure if we could not go to the mall or walmart every single day.

One of my funniest memories is from a trip to Venice my sister and I took. We were trying to explain to the owner of a local small cafe what a "togo" cup was. He was horrified. he could not believe that even Americans would be so "Tacky" as to want to drink expresso on a bus.
He simply could not understand how if we were on vacation why we could not spend 5 minutes and sit down and enjoy our coffee.

I think its more than just economic stress. Sure, these are unprecendant times but we've had those before without flipping out.

I think a large part of the financial stress comes from the fact that lately we've convinced ourselves that a large number of things are "necessities", when they are not.

Sorry, I'm still one of those people who do not believe every child 'NEEDS" a cell phone. Will life end if they can't text? Yet I don't know 1 kids who does not have one (mine included).

I am still one of those people who believe that a trip to Disney is not a necessity for a happy childhood. Yet time after time we have poster who are fighting with their spouses because "the kids are only little once" so they need to spend money they don't have to get them down to disneyworld.
Some how we have convinced our selves that a starter house is 3,000 square feet. so now we have a generation of people stressed from trying to "attain" all these things that society says "we absolutely need".

 

[SaraJayne]

LOL. Sara, I think we would die from heart failure if we could not go to the mall or walmart every single day.

One of my funniest memories is from a trip to Venice my sister and I took. We were trying to explain to the owner of a local small cafe what a "togo" cup was. He was horrified. he could not believe that even Americans would be so "Tacky" as to want to drink expresso on a bus.
He simply could not understand how if we were on vacation why we could not spend 5 minutes and sit down and enjoy our coffee.

I routinely go three or four days and don't leave my rural neighborhood. I think I'd be ok.

I love Italians.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes.

I know that you want to sing the praises of the Europeans however the recent riots have got to get you to see that they have outbursts as well.

People hate change and it causes anxiety which leads to outbursts. Right now the globe is in a bit of a financial mess.

People that are wealthy and financially secure are probably less stressed than those of us who need to make more money to pay off debts while worrying about the fact you may not have a job tomorrow.

 

[Planogirl]

There are riots in Europe but I think that people that engage in those tend to be the radicals. My experience has taught me that most people want to have nice lives and for the most be left alone. They won't be out there ranting and raving about higher school fees and one less day off in their 6 weeks of vacation.

Stress is brutal. Personally I've had way more stress than a person ought to and now I pay for it with blood pressure problems and sleeplessness and so on. I'm not prone to anger but I can see that those with shorter fuses could fly off the handle over trivial things. It's just the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back.

 

[mrodgers]

True. However, I do believe that there is a trend, and that it parallels the upward trend in the sense of entitlement.

That.

My wife works at Lowes in town. We live out in the country. She sees everyone's address on the screen when processing credit and debit cards and has told me there is a huge difference between attitudes of the rich snobby town people (who move up here from the big city) and the courteous country folk who live more in the median income range.

 

[SaraJayne]

Yes.

I know that you want to sing the praises of the Europeans however the recent riots have got to get you to see that they have outbursts as well.

People hate change and it causes anxiety which leads to outbursts. Right now the globe is in a bit of a financial mess.

People that are wealthy and financially secure are probably less stressed than those of us who need to make more money to pay off debts while worrying about the fact you may not have a job tomorrow.

No one is "singing the praises" of Europeans.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No one is "singing the praises" of Europeans.

I am talking about the more relaxed lifestyle. It is a phrase that is tongue in cheek. Sorry if I confused you.

 

[Magpie]

I think many people eat badly and don't get enough sleep. I think our diets are probably worse now than in previous generations, but overall I don't think any of this has changed our personalities hugely.

Some people are grumpy. Some people are nasty. Some people have entitlement issues. It's always been this way.

The economy and war can make people grumpier. In fact, I bet people were REALLY grumpy during the Great Depression, and during the World Wars. The problem is that most of us weren't alive back then. We tend not to remember the gov't going in and shooting at strikers with machine guns or the high crime rates or entire black towns burned to the ground or people huddling in their homes terrified of large numbers of homeless, jobless, frustrated men. Instead we get cute stories of funny hobos and friendly homemakers giving out free sandwiches. The past always looks better than the present.

And even when we try to look back within our own lifetimes, it's not accurate either, because we were kids and we didn't notice that the adults around us were stressed.

So no - I don't think we, as a society, are any worse off than we have been in the past.

In fact, I rather suspect we're living in a Golden Age. We just don't realize it.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think many people eat badly and don't get enough sleep. I think our diets are probably worse now than in previous generations, but overall I don't think any of this has changed our personalities hugely.

Some people are grumpy. Some people are nasty. Some people have entitlement issues. It's always been this way.

The economy and war can make people grumpier. In fact, I bet people were REALLY grumpy during the Great Depression, and during the World Wars. The problem is that most of us weren't alive back then. We tend not to remember the gov't going in and shooting at strikers with machine guns or the high crime rates or entire black towns burned to the ground or people huddling in their homes terrified of large numbers of homeless, jobless, frustrated men. Instead we get cute stories of funny hobos and friendly homemakers giving out free sandwiches. The past always looks better than the present.

And even when we try to look back within our own lifetimes, it's not accurate either, because we were kids and we didn't notice that the adults around us were stressed.

So no - I don't think we, as a society, are any worse off than we have been in the past.

In fact, I rather suspect we're living in a Golden Age. We just don't realize it.

Agree with this.

Also you are forgetting we are the "Turn of the Century" people, which is cool however is it always met with upheaval in order to exact change historically speaking.

So the players and tools are different this time around but the fight is always the same.