Are we spoiling our kids by owning DVC?

[Disney1fan2002]

I just got off the phone with MIL. She is one of the family members who is in awe at how often we go on vacation, and always has something to say about it. I will take was she says, and lighten the mood. Like the time my 2yo DS was trying to tell her about staying in a hotel in NYC, he could not speak well then, so I translated for him. She was floored. She has never been to NY and could not believe she was getting a trip report from her 2yo grandson! So I just said "My kids will be well travelled, and when they grow up, I won't have to worry too much about them if they decide to take a trip at 18 because they will know how to travel" or I will say "yeah, isn't great? You just jealous" and laugh or something.

So today, I was telling her about how much my kids live the DCL, and want to go back. She point blank said "they're spoiled, that's why they want to go back. They go to Disney at the drop of a hat, so they think they can go anytime"

It did not sit well with me for some reason. At that point, I decided NOT to tell her we have the Member cruise booked. My kids ARE NOT spoiled. Yes, we go to Disney alot, but they understand what it takes for us to go. They know we are not rich, and they know how lucky they are. It is not my kids fault they were born to parents that are Disney fanatics, who never went to Disney as a kid, so we are making up for lost time!

Are we spoiling our kids? (OK< I am second guessing myself now)

 

[goldilocks_63]

My Grandmother, used to say,

"Children are for spoiling".

I guess I would say yes, you are spoiling them, but what's wrong with bringing a little light and happiness into their lives.

I think it's hard for people who grew up in the depression to be extravagent every once in a while..... I've seen this before.

At any rate, it's your life, you're children, and do what you think is best for your family, and don't worry about approval. (Because you probably won't get it).

Maybe you could bring her on a trip sometime in the future. That might turn her opinion around

Goldi

 

[debloco]

Ah...MIL's. What can I say? Can't live with them, can't...well...let's not finish that sentence! Anyway, it's really none of her business when, how often and where you and your DH vacation. I think that your comment that she is jealous is right on the mark. I think your kids want to go back to Disney because it is such a wonderful place and they have a great time with Mom and Dad each time they go. That's the reason, NOT because they are spoiled. She probably won't let up and stuff like this is difficult to ignore, but you can always come vent on the dis!

CLC Tiger Pom Mom

 

[sheryl0521]

<i>originally posted by goldilocks_63:</i>
At any rate, it's your life, you're children, and do what you think is best for your family, and don't worry about approval. (Because you probably won't get it).

I so agree! We no longer tell all family members about our trips as we just hear the same thing <i>"going to disney AGAIN?"</i>

Our older son appreciates how lucky he is to be going twice (sometimes 3 times) per year and we remind him of the fact every trip.

 

[calypso*a*go-go]

Are we spoiling our kids? Yes, but isn't that our business? I find that most of the negative comments come from people that are just plain jealous. Plus, it's not like they are being sent on vacation while the parents stay home...so were spoiling ourselves too and I don't know about you, but I think I'm worth it!!!

 

[tigger24]

Of course we are spoiling them. We just purchased this summer and our daughter was only 6months old! I bought it for us to spend fun family time together. If that means I am spoiling her, so be it.
There is a difference between being spoiled and spoiled rotten.

Just my 2 cents, enjoy your family.

 

[WDWJWEB1]

Are we spoiling our kids?

You know what upsets me? It's all these people who think nothing of taking there families to Virginia Beach or Six Flags or up to the Inlaws year in and year out and that's O. K. but as soon as you mention Disney they say things like "your wasting your money" I can't believe your going again" and the best one "are'nt you tired of going there? didn't you just get back?" Well I for one could care less what they say or think, I'm just glad that my DW and I have the opportunity and the means (DVC) to give our children what we consider as "total family vacations" There is something for each of us at WDW! We were in Disney Last Dec 03, in May 04 also Aug 04 and we are going again in Nov-Dec 04 and we are already booked for April 05.
So I look at it this way, I would rather travel with my family now while my wife and I are Fairly heathy and "semi" young and we can all enjoy it. I do not know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know what works for my family today. So am I spoiling my kids? I sure hope so!

 

[crisi]

Here is my concern....

My first husband and my sister's first husband had a similar problem.

Having parents who took them on frequent vacations, they expected to step into that lifestyle upon leaving the nest. They really didn't understand the value of time or money. Both got themselves (and us!) into some financial mess before the marriage ended - for my sister and I we got out in time. But both of them sank deeper into the mess. My BIL is currently divorcing his wife under the same financial strain. She was also "spoiled" as a child with little concept of how fast money spends.

My ex's family sounds like yours - although they were never wealthy, they really prioritized vacations (and Disney vacations - my ex grew up with annual Disney vacations - nearly unheard of back then). My soon to be ex-SILs family was similar - middle class - but spenders. My ex BILs family was plain old wealthy - though not wealthy enough to support children who left the house (not Paris Hilton wealthy, just plain old Fortune 500 Vice President wealthy).

I'm really trying to drive home to my children how fortunate they are right now - and that the time will come where they won't go to Disney all the time, or go on cruises or where ever. Their parents worked hard and put off a family - and now can afford to spoil their family - but we spent years not going to Disney before they were born.

But I have my doubts this will work. This is something I do worry about. Will they learn moderation unless we moderate ourselves? Will they learn how fortunate they are unless we expose them to those less fortunate? (we try to do both). Am I going to turn my kids into those people in life I think about when I think of this?

 

[tjkraz]

Originally posted by sheryl0521
...we just hear the same thing <i>"going to disney AGAIN?"</i>

Actually, I LOVE hearing that line. I just smile and say "yup!" and leave it at that. I don't feel the need to apologize for my personal vacation habits, nor do I feel it's something worthy of hiding. Anyone who doesn't get it....doesn't get it! That's their problem to deal with.

 

[Simba's Girl]

I don't think that we (or you ) are spoiling our kids at all! I think it depends upon how you look at things...here's how my DH and I look at them...

Because we own DVC we spend less $$$ on the frivolous junk that kids want (you know the silly things that they market to kids during kids programming on TV) then 2 days later stop playing with it. In exchange for that we get to spend more family time enjoying ourselves and watching the sheer joy in our DDs faces being on vacation. We also feel like we're teaching the kids alot about the country and world in general that they wouldn't know about if we didn't travel so much-that my friend is *priceless*.

Heather (originally from the South Shore BTW)

 

[kenziesmamaw]

I agree with the poster who said there is a difference between spoiled and spoiled rotten. Spending time together as a family making memories that will last a lifetime is something you will never regret, whether it is at Disney or just riding down the road singing silly songs.

Our kids are grown and my husband and I just did our first "adults only" trip to Disney in 25 years.....and both of them were jealous that they didn't get to go! And they've only been about 3 or 4 times in their lives.

I only think you have to worry when your kids start expecting you to hand them everything on a silver platter and don't understand that hard work and sacrifice are the things that make these kinds of trips available to them. As they get older let them see what it costs to go and put them on a budget for spending money....teach them that if they want more, they have to work more for it.

 

[cgcw]

Originally posted by sheryl0521
we remind him of the fact every trip.

We do too. A lot. My kids don't take going to WDW for granted, but every time we go, I remind them of their friends who have never been and probably won't until they are adults. Although I don't think they are spoiled, it doesn't hurt to let them know they fortunate to be going.

My kids gripe when they don't have their own bedroom on vacation. Given a conversation of this sort with my MIL, I'm sure WW3 would happen. I'd prefer not to go there with that discussion.

I hope to always be able to spoil my kids with wonderful family vacations and precious memories.

 

[Lesley]

Hmmm....I think "spoiling" (I hate that term as things spoil when you don't give them attention and love...not when you do!) would be if you teach your kids the attitude that they are entitled to go to WDW frequently and if something comes up to prevent you from going that is unfair, or unjust, or whatever. As long as your kids understand that your vacations are a want, not a need, and can see what you trade in order to be able to take these vacations (your time, which you need to spend working ....what you could do with the money that you're making less of a priority, or giving up, etc....). In my experience "spoiled" children are the ones whose parents don't want to be bothered with them and give them all sorts of things in order to keep the kids off their backs. And then its just sad that they get labeled "spoiled" rather than "unparented".

You could certainly spend your money on things you might like that don't benefit the kids as directly....like cars, or jewelry, or art....and no one would accuse you of spoiling them in that case.

I honestly believe the whole "spoiling" concept is a coping mechanism for those who either did not get the kind of love and attention they needed as a child and/or didn't give their own kids those things and feel guilty.

My kids, who are accustomed to DVC and have said things that sound 'spoiled' like, "Where's the kitchen?" or "Where's the big tub?" when entering a regular hotel room....would be incredibly happy taking primitive camping trips. I however, don't think I would like that as much. I've told them of how I saved up babysitting money while I was in college so their dad and I could take a trip to WDW when I graduated. We budget our trips carefully and our kids know that there are things we don't do so that we can go to WDW. They hear us discuss our options...and ways to try to make the most of the resources we have to do the things we want to do.

I guess some DVC members may be "spoiling" their kids....but I don't think that's generally the case. I do think its wise to help kids understand money and how it works. We didn't take a lot of big vacations when I was a kid....but I was never taught about money, earning, saving, investing because money is such a taboo subject in my family. That more than anything is why my dh and I have made some poor choices in the past. But DVC is one of our best choices ever.

 

[Happy Birthday Cat]

It's not spoiling my kids for our family to be together for a week or so every few months. Should we do so in a less expensive place so we can feel humble? I don't think so. I work hard at my job and am away from my four kids and DW on many occasions because of work. I take pride in the fact that I can afford many things for my family that my parents couldn't even consider. Hopefully my kids will see that hard work pays off but better yet that a family that is together pays off even more. I don't define that as being spoiled!

HBC

 

[spiceycat]

Marie - I don't think your kids are spoiled.

you sound like a good parent and ones that tries.

Do you eat every meal at WDW in a fancy restuarant?

probably no

do you show them that not everyone in their neighborhood or school can afford to go to WDW every year?

it is when the kids start to think that 2-bedroom condo on vacation are a right - not something that you worked long and hard to obtain - that you might start to have problems.

 

[OneMoreTry]

I didn't think we were spoiling our kids until they turned into teenagers, then I realized we were -- big time.

Odds are you're spoiling them, but I don't think that means you should sell your DVC points. Make sure they learn to work for what they have. Don't give them everything they ask for. Be grateful for what you have. Teach them respect.

And don't fret. Don't feel guilty for taking vacations. And enjoy life as much as it will let you.

 

[Johnnie Fedora]

Originally posted by Disney1fan2002
Are we spoiling our kids?

Yes and no. Our kids know we give up doing other entertainment options at home (eating-out, movies, etc.) to go on vacations more frequently. However, we do not over-indulge them while they are at DVC. They are very familiar with the word "NO" and phrase "put-it-back".

Which child is more spoiled:
1) the child who's entertainment money goes toward participation in every activity he/she wants (sports/clubs/activities)

2) the child who's entertainment money gets lots of material things (toys/clothes/games)

3) the child who's entertainment money goes toward spending vacations together as a family

It's a matter of your family's priorities.

 

[mom23boys]

I do not think I am spoiling my children. We go to Disney everyother year. The oppisite years we usually go to the Jersey Shore. I feel my kids and me need family time and need to be away from everyday life. My oldest DS (10) has been to WDW five times only once with DCV.

My DH travels for his job, not alot but enough. We are raising 3 boys, with soccer, swimming, and everything else life deals us, we want a vacation we can enjoy with our family. WDW is the best solution for us. Our kids are young they love it and I do not care what anyone thinks.

I hope that you are not second guessing yourself, you need to do what is best for you and your family. And spending quality time with your children and spouse is something you will never forget.

 

[rnnomore]

I have read every post in this thread, and if I quoted everything that I agreed with, this post would be very long! My view is this: life is too short not to do things with the family! I learned this the hard way when my parents suddenly passed away 4 years ago while vacationing abroad. Our last trip with them was the April before they died,(we went to WDW) and I thank God everyday that we made that trip with them.

I am a Disney fanatic, and so are our kids. Am I spoiling them? No, in my opinion I am not. They understand that they are lucky to have parents who belong to DVC and are able to go once a year, and usually more, while some of their friends have never gone. They do not get every item that they want or see, so they also know the word no.

Is spoiling when you shop constantly for your child even though he/she does not need anything? Or how about when the grandparents overindulge for birthdays or holidays? Does that count as spoiling?

Only you know what is good for your family, just as I know what is best for mine. Life is too short-live and do what you want to make the most out of every day!

Just my opinion.

 

[jimmytammy]

Our kids may be a little spoiled to Disney but so are Mom and Dad. But, they understand to a degree that the money to go comes at a price. I take them with me on weekends to do those dirty messy jobs that helps to pay for DVC and all those trips. And I even make them help if the occasion arises. And I pay them to help and this helps them understand the concept of money when they prepare to buy something at WDW.

Neither Tammy or I were lucky enough to go to WDW as kids and I was 35 before the first trip. We have talked to the kids about this and helped them understand when they are away from home these trips wont happen anymore financially for them. But owning DVC will allow us to still travel as a family if they so desire then.

They dont get spoiled to many things at home because we dont allow it. But they are only kids once so the memories from these trips will be with all of us. If that is spoiling then I dont feel bad about it. We know God has blessed us and we try to remember that and thank Him everyday.