Are people who live in the urban Northeast USA rude and unfriendly?

[Wishing on a star]

Kasar,

I think that this thread has been going pretty well!!! Nobody has outright criticized or blasted. Everyone has acknowledged that you can't include EVERY single person in such a broad stroke.... Based on my personal experience, I can say that there ARE differences. You have acknowledged that. Many people here who have dealt with people from many areas have noticed and verified that. ( Loved the comments about Jersey Week!!! The SSN#s, etc... )

I just want to point out that what we are talking about is not the 'Caution' or 'PowerWalking'.... some from the NE have tried to focus on. It is a real underlying difference in the way that people talk to and relate to each other. People have a choice to either smile and be friendly, or indifferent, or just plain rude.

You do make a great point...

Quote:
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probably don't even realize how they appear to other people?
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I totally agree that people ( from ANY area) who are rude and inconsiderate and self-absorbed do not see this in themselves! They do not see themselves as others see them... that is the nature of the beast! But, to me, that does not make it any less of a bad thing.

 

[MerryPoppins]

You can never lump everyone in an area together. There are always exceptions to any rule. Still there are areas of our country that life is slower and people tend to be more open and there are areas that things are faster paced.

Personally, I think you just have to understand that that is the norm in that particular area. You have to be patient and friendly and accept that they didn't grow up in the same place you did. I guess it would be boring if we were all the same, right?

 

[Evil Princess]

Originally posted by CBRorBust

I have visited the NE before, and I was prepared for a little bit of "rudness" but not to the extent that I found in Boston. Even the people that worked in the Airport were mean! I have never heard people talk to others the way I did in Boston. I'm sure this is not ALL of Boston or even the majority, but it has turned me off to Boston for the rest of my life. I no longer have ANY desire to visit there again, I felt very uncomfortable about just the general attitude of people there.

I'm from New York, and when I first came to college here in Boston I had the same feeling that you did. In fact, I was very much set in transfering back to the New York metro area up until a month ago. I felt like everyone was stuck up and thought that they were better than me, not to mention unfriendly.

I have a differnet opinion of Boston now. Whenever you meet people from a different way of life, there is going to be some cultural differences, even in places as close as NY and Boston (two TOTALLY different cities). It's just not what I was used to, but as they learned who I was and I learned who they were I've met some of the nicest people I ever have encountered in my life.

 

[ToriLammy]

Originally posted by Evil Princess
Rude? Nah. Talk fast, walk fast, look straight ahead while walking down the street? Yep lol.

...I was brought up a short train ride from NYC and was always taught never to make eye contact with people in the city. It was for safety, and as I result I usually look straight ahead walking down the street.

Funny, here in college I have been told that I "walk like I have a purpose", whatever that means, lol. I have to constantly apologize to friends after not seeing them on the street because I was too busy looking straight ahead and "speed walking".

I had to respond to your post Evil Princess. I grew up in Philly and left when I joined the Air Force in 1978 but I still walk fast almost 26 years later. My friends used to harass me about it but my response was always "You can't hit a moving target " I grew up in a neighborhood where there were a lot of muggings and the like. So I agree alot of it is about safety. My sister and I had to walk everywhere (most city dwellers do) and to this day we both still walk like we have a purpose

 

[Margie J]

I have a differnet opinion of Boston now. Whenever you meet people from a different way of life, there is going to be some cultural differences, even in places as close as NY and Boston (two TOTALLY different cities). It's just not what I was used to, but as they learned who I was and I learned who they were I've met some of the nicest people I ever have encountered in my life.

Evil Princess, I'm so glad to hear that things are settling down for you and you are seeing a different side to the people you are with. The beginning was rough but those friends you have made now are likely to be friends for years. You will learn much from each other, with open eyes on both sides.

I had much the same reaction when I first moved here from California. I hated the kids in my class. We eyed each other with caution. I was from some strange place across the Country and they had been pals for life. Who was I to enter their world and I didn't know how to deal with them or the whole difference in the East. It takes time to adjust. I still always prefer the West but have gotten used to the East.

I have visited the NE before, and I was prepared for a little bit of "rudness" but not to the extent that I found in Boston. Even the people that worked in the Airport were mean! I have never heard people talk to others the way I did in Boston. I'm sure this is not ALL of Boston or even the majority, but it has turned me off to Boston for the rest of my life. I no longer have ANY desire to visit there again, I felt very uncomfortable about just the general attitude of people there.

I'm sorry your one (and possibly only) visit to Boston was ruined by Bostonian attitude. First off, Logan has never been the friendliest airport around IMO. It's an ugly place and it seems lots of workers just grunt at you. After 9/11 it became worse, again IMO, due to what had happened, the blame the staff took in the matter, employee fears, etc. Security is tight at Logan. Anyone that seems to be out of place, just hanging around or kind of laughing off orders by security is asked (often shouted at) to get moving or ELSE!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, with all the new construction the airport is a mess. Each time I depart or arrive I never know what I will find there or where to go.

As for language, many people here pepper their everyday conversation with "F*** this, F*** that, F*** you .... ". It has, terribly, become normal for many but not just in Boston. Attitude towards others, such as customers or visitors, is another thing. I feel that sometimes people here are thinking "hurry the h**l up and stop asking stupid questions" when they are dealing with others in the City.

Even driving in Boston is an assault on the senses. I know, I've done it for nearly 21 years now. Our streets are nuts, the drivers are crazy and the pedestrians will taunt you by either pretending they don't see you or looking straight in your eyes and daring you to hit them as they cross, slowly, at a GREEN light. Add to this a few slow, cautious, proper drivers from another part of the Country and that's enough to make a person like me crazy. I will admit I drive (and gesture) differently in Boston as opposed to anywhere else, even in the suburbs. Craziness creates more craziness.

I'd say, don't judge the whole State or it's people (anywhere) based on one experience especially in a major City like Boston. In addition, Boston is a "melting pot" City with diverse residents from all over the World. That mix can create tension and confusion if you let it or lend itself to a unique experience for all.

 

[Disney Debbie]

Well, first of all - don't judge ANY city by the way people in the airport treat you!!


I don't think it has anything to do with the NE - I think it's the "urban" part that generally makes the difference. People in Atlanta aren't -in general- as polite as people in my small GA town. I imagine it's the same thing with people in Podunk, NY and NYC. You don't know everyone you see in big cities. You don't have to worry about being rude to someone and then finding out later it's your best friends grandmother!! I know that I was a terrible perpetrator of "road rage" when I lived in Atlanta - I'd get furious and yell at people and try and cut off someone who cut me off. It was awful the way I acted!! But when I moved here 13 years ago I learned pretty quickly that I might be giving someone a dirty look because they pulled out in front of me that I would see the next day at the grocery store! I think that makes a huge difference!

I will also say that several years ago I went to NYC on business but went 2 days early to sight see and everyone I talked to and interacted with was just as nice as they could be! I think that most people are as friendly as you expect them to be - and I expect people to be friendly and treat them that way to begin with.

 

[onecoolmama]

My Dh had another opinion about this topic. He grew up in Manilia and then DC. Both very dense urban areas. I was telling him about the thread and he said he was glad that people didnt stop him on the street...people didnt engage him in their converations in the city.

Why? Becuase he has places to go. He is busy. If he is walking to grab food it is either to bring food to a lot of people in the office or he doesnt even have the time to stop for lunch. He doesn't make eye contact becuase as others have said...he has a purpose of getting to somewhere. He'll say unless it is buisness, he doesnt have the time for small talk. Get in state your purpose, and move on..that is his motto.

Let me tell you, you think people in the NE are unfriendly..you should visit the Philippines. No one trusts anyone and either you are extremely rich or extremely poor. The only people in general you socialize with is your family and your immediate social group. So DH thought people in DC were extremely friendly when he moved here.

Let me finish by saying, I was very fortunate to be able to attend a World Peace Camp in Maine. I started a service club while I was there and I got to go out and meet the poeple of Poland Maine. These were the kindest friendliest people..maybe a bit reserved, but so kind. If Maine wasnt sooo cold, I would move there in a heartbeat!

 

[CRB#33]

If we seem a bit stiff, it's because we are all FROZEN!!!

 

[Saffron]

If there are so many people moving here and visiting from around the country, maybe it's all the transpantees and visitors that you're bumping into that are so rude and unfriendly! And if that's the case, and everyone else around the country is more friendly and less rude than native Northeasteners are, just imagine how truly friendly we are! :crazy

 

[ByTheSea]

because I travel for my work, I have in the NE, E, SE, the South, the Midwest, the SW, the NW and the West.

Although I do believe in the saying "Minnesota nice" I have to say I don't find one part of the country "ruder" than another.

I have worked with very nice and wonderful people all over, and have encountered both hospitality and just plain rudeness in many places. The rudest encounters I can recall came from the East, West and SE, so no real pattern. There are nice people and rude people wherever you go I guess, and my experience is, if you try to be a nice pleasant person to all people, you rarely run into too many of the rude ones.

 

[Bichon Barb]

Maybe the southerners are just afraid of those Boston and New York accents? "Where the hell did you learn to pahk a cah?" That would be Bahston. New Yawk is more of a "Hey you mutha. Get that caw outada way!"

Seriously, I'm only four or five hours away from NYC, and it's pretty different up here. But I love New Yorkers, even if they call us upstaters "hicks". I forgive you.

Now you Southerners--if you'd just move things along in the grocery store line and stop gabbing about your cousin's wife's sister...

 

[Wishing on a star]

ROFLMBO!!!!!!!

Thanks.... I needed that!!!!

 

[Robinrs]

Originally posted by Bichon Barb
Seriously, I'm only four or five hours away from NYC, and it's pretty different up here. But I love New Yorkers, even if they call us upstaters "hicks". I forgive you.

I never called you guys hicks! I just would tell ya "you don't live in New York, you VISIT New York!"

Yes, we believed if you didn't live in the "boroughs" you didn't earn your stripes!

 

[onecoolmama]

It seems to me like some of you are calling north easterners Snooty or snobs. If I am wrong please correct me!