Are Compliments Important?

[Maleficent13]

This was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend today. We were talking about relationships, and one of the topics was whether or not verbal compliments were important from an SO.

Thoughts?

 

[bjgrazi]

Sure they are, they make you feel good. I love when my SO notices something and compliments me on it.

I love positive reinforcement

 

[snoopy]

Sure, I think so.

 

[Kim&Chris]

YES!

I think complements, or some sort of positive reinforcements, are very important. They let you know the other person cares, or is still attracted to you, or thinks you're smart, etc.

 

[stinkerbelle]

From a SO...yes, I think they are important...
From a friend - sure...always nice.

however I work with someone who is always saying "oh you are dressed so nice, your hair is so pretty, you always looks so put together, blah blah blah". I feel 100% uncomfortable when she says this because she is standing about 2 inches away from me and touching me.

doesn't she realize I'm american and we don't do put up with that crap?

sorry...just had to vent that!

 

[Hillbeans]

Most definitely. Could you imagine never being complimented by your SO?

Also, at work, i'm a supervisor, and if I never compliment my employees about a job well done i'd not be a very good supervisor.

Compliments are a very important part of life.

 

[snoopy]

Gotta agree complimenting a co-worker on personal assets is off limits. You gotta be real careful about that too, right now I am working on a sexual harrassment case -- its woman against woman, and its not unlike what you just described Stinkerbelle.

 

[danacara]

Absolutely, but more important for some personality types than others. I need them. If I don't get them free-flow, I'll fish for them until he delivers. (But he's so cute, he always does )

 

[browneyes]

Are Compliments Important?

Stinkerbelle, that would bother me too.

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by snoopy
Gotta agree complimenting a co-worker on personal assets is off limits. You gotta be real careful about that too, right now I am working on a sexual harrassment case -- its woman against woman, and its not unlike what you just described Stinkerbelle.

Well the thing is...and PLEASE don't take this the wrong way...she a consultant at my company and is Russian...so the whole difference in culture thing is there. (She's made other women uncomfortable to.) I just try to keep my head down and walk quickly in the halls whn I see her...but somestimes she just corners me.

Thanks for not calling me out for saying something about it here though...I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds this unnerving.

I mean, it's one thing to say "oh - nice shirt/skirt/whatever/new haircut" to a coworker...but I think it should be left at that.

 

[KristaTX]

People feel loved in different ways, and words of appreciation are more important to some people than others. But I think we all need to hear we are doing something well at least once in a while. Spouses, parents/children, close friends, coworkers - sincere expressions of appreciation are especially important in those relationships.

 

[NMAmy]

I'm spoiled...DH compliments me daily and I love it. He's a big believer in pampering me and I'm not about to screw that up! I also compliment him and DD all the time. I try to be sure to compliment DD on her brains, sports, and singing as much as her looks. She told me the other day, "So and So's mom told me I was pretty the other day. It made me feel really good. I know you tell me that, but you're my mom and you have to say that!"

I also try to compliment and praise my staff as much as possible to them and to others. They do a great job and I couldn't get along without them! (now I have to have them read this!)

 

[liznboys]

I think they are! It's a nice way to make the ones you love feel good about themselves. A quick, easy confidence boost!

stinkerbelle-You cracked me up!!

 

[CamColt]

 

[RitaZ.]

Absolutely!

 

[jrydberg]

Since I am of the opinion that a positive attitude counts for an awful lot, I am also of the opinion that compliments to friends and family are very important.

 

[Maleficent13]

Well, most of you have said yes. To add to the story, my SO does not compliment me verbally. He just doesn't. I know he loves me, and that's not the issue. It's just sometimes, you like to know you look nice to him. But when I ask I get and "of course I like the way you look."

I'm learning to live with it, because he's outstanding in every other way!

 

[scarlett873]

Originally posted by Hillbeans
Most definitely. Could you imagine never being complimented by your SO?

i had that!! my ex husband NEVER complimented me. i had gone through a major transformation one year...lost 30 pounds, cut my hair, began dressing less "frumpily" and not one single "wow...you look good!" it was very difficult on me. i didn't feel as if he liked the way i looked or something. that was one of the major downfalls of our marriage, among other things.

i am now married to the most amazing man! he tells me daily that he thinks i'm the most beautiful woman on the planet...he finds me sexy...he'll get a mischevious twinkle in his eye if he especially likes what i'm wearing. and it does WONDERS for my self esteem! i feel beautiful, because he thinks i am...

so yes, i think it's important, but i understand that it's not important for everyone!

 

[ShuisFan584]

I love when my boyfriend compliments me, it always makes me feel good about myself.

 

[liznboys]

Originally posted by Maleficent13
Well, most of you have said yes. To add to the story, my SO does not compliment me verbally. He just doesn't. I know he loves me, and that's not the issue. It's just sometimes, you like to know you look nice to him. But when I ask I get and "of course I like the way you look."

I'm learning to live with it, because he's outstanding in every other way!

Nobody's perfect. Maybe the more you compliment him or others in front of him, he'll slowly start doing it himself. Sort of like a subliminal message kind of thing?! Like your behavior will rub off on him. KWIM?