Apples to Apples (in regards to gifts)

[CGB]

No, it doesn't need to be apples for apples. I've learned that sometimes you need a blessing; other times you are the blessing. It sounds like your friend has learned that lesson as well and is passing the blessing on to you. Your NYE dinner sounds like the perfect response. I also agree with occassional gifts of baked goodies throughout the year.

 

[Micca]

Congratulations Sandy! You've created a thread with a question to which everyone agrees! I may need to get some air

 

[slo]

Congratulations Sandy! You've created a thread with a question to which everyone agrees! I may need to get some air

To funny!!!!
I do what I can to keep The DIS drama free - LOL!!!

 

[slo]

I love all you guys - I really do!
I knew I could get some good opinions on this topic.
Thanks for taking the time to post

 

[Dan Murphy]

Simple answer - no. Gifts are just that, a kind gesture meant to express warm feelings towards the recipient. At least they should be. You've read The 5 Love Languages? It's not just about how one receives love, it's also about how they show it. This guy cares for you and is thoughtful. I'll bet he went with the butcher card this year instead of a restaurant in order to help ease the current pinch just a little bit. He knows what he's doing and it's NOT fishing for a reciprocal gift. Thank him, use the card with pleasure and be at peace.

This

Instead of taking him out to dinner on NYE, why not have him over for dinner and make him something yummy from the butcher shop. It will cost less than going out and also share with him the very generous gift that he got you guys.

And this

Congratulations Sandy! You've created a thread with a question to which everyone agrees! I may need to get some air

And also this.

Wishing Kevin quick success with a new, and better job. Almost always these bumps in the road of life lead to a much better situation.

 

[slo]

@Dan Murphy - thank you for the well wishes He’s looking forward to starting the new year with a new job and less stress.

 

[TipsyTraveler]

Congratulations Sandy! You've created a thread with a question to which everyone agrees! I may need to get some air

Whoa there, not so fast.

IME, there are some people who will never mutually agree to drop the gift exchange no matter how many times you hint, politely suggest, or straight up say you don’t want to do it anymore. The only way to get off that merry go round is to stop reciprocating, as you have done, and stick to it. They usually finally give it up after a few years, I’ve found.

Personally, I don’t think it’s respectful for one to break their word and give a gift after the two parties have agreed not to exchange them, nor is it respectful to make someone feel bad by repeatedly pushing gifts on them when they don’t have one to give in return. But, some people desperately want to give gifts for whatever reason and they care more about their feelings on the matter than the feelings of the recipient whom they are putting in an awkward position.

So yes, I agree with everyone who says you don’t need to reciprocate (I don’t think you should take him to dinner, either), but I disagree that he’s “just doing something nice for you.” I think he’s actually being very disrespectful.

 

[Micca]

Whoa there, not so fast.

Well that was nice while it lasted

 

[_19disnA]

My mom was always a stickler on if someone gives you a gift for X amount of dollars than you should do the same. I've had that drilled in my head for many many years.

Just because your mom felt this way, doesn't mean you need to feel the same way. As an adult you can formulate your own views on what you choose to do. Sometimes that may be different than how your parents viewed something, but you are free to make your own decisions.

Since you have indicated exchanging was not expected or required, I would just move on. I don't think you need to go overboard in constantly telling this other person that gifts aren't expected. I wouldn't bring that situation up when taking him out for dinner, like it is some sort of equal value to his gift. Perhaps he is well enough off that enjoys giving even if others happen to not get him a similar gift.

Some gifts may be such they will never know exactly how much they cost. If your relatives all get together ahead of time to pull names and agree on a limit for a gift exchange, is a different situation to me. One random person giving you a gift when not expected isn't something I would worry about too much. I certainly wouldn't feel any obligation to give him a gift of equal value.

 

[Kitty 34]

To funny!!!!
I do what I can to keep The DIS drama free - LOL!!!

Except for mid March



Great answers here. Enjoy that your Godfather cares about you and your family. That's priceless.

Happy New Year, my friend.

 

[slo]

Except for mid March

LOL!!!
To funny and so true!!!!

Great answers here. Enjoy that your Godfather cares about you and your family. That's priceless.

Happy New Year, my friend.

Thank you!!!
And a very Happy New Year to you too

 

[jo-jo]

No.

I'm sure he meant for the butcher's card to take a little of the strain off during your family's financial pinch. You have given him a gift - the chance to help a neighbor, and all that that implies for him as exactly the type of person you would choose as your DD's godfather.

Bake him something homemade next year, and don't feel like things have to be "equal".

I believe he is seeing you , not just throwing gifts around to get one back. Is he local? I second the have him over for dinner or bake something idea. Maybe make a qt of soup for those cold January nights. (I'm assuming you don't live in Miami.)

 

[Tink-osophy]

Late to the party, but just want to add I agree with the majority!

A friend as good as you describe him as being wouldn't want you to stress, I wouldn't think. It sounds more like he wants to help out in a way that he's able - and it sounds like he appreciates being your friend. Maybe, he also just likes giving gifts.

I always think good friendships/relationships don't have to be exactly equal. Things ebb and flow on both sides over time as needs, means, circumstances etc. etc change.

Have a thriving 2024 slo and family!