Anyone send kindergartener on time instead of holding back?

[squirrel]

Wow, I didn't realize what a difference in the cut offs dates are in the States and how early it is compared to BC (Canada). Our cut off is Dec.31.

I was at a conference and I found out that most children are not able to get the concept of diagonal lines until they are 7. They should not be learning to write until 7. Most of us (Pre-school and Daycare teachers) were shocked as all the children are expected to be able to write by the time they leave Kindergarden.

 

[MousekeMommy]

Responding here as a K teacher and as a mother . . . deadlines are a measure (by region) and as an indicator . . . Yes, some at the very top-edge and the very bottom-edge of the deadline cutoff line may notice a "subjective descrepancy"--but, in general (and mind you that we are in the business of the majority and make exceptions in the cases of extreme minorities) children do overwhelmingly fall within their grade level expectations. For good reasons.
Although your child may seem advanced and well-fitted at age 6 or 8 or 10), please bear with educators looking beyond at ages 16 and 18 (they have gathered the statistics : ) when students are able to date/drive/move out on their own to college or support themselves) when we recommend holding your child out a year. Not that it will be "life or death", but perhaps a better fit??? You do know your child best, but please give the educators the benefit of the doubt when they recommend waiting or sending ahead? I taught a long time . . . I personally never saw a child "suffer" from "waiting", but saw many challenged from plunging ahead . . . (my own parents made me take along a novel that I could open and read beneath my desk when my "normal" work was completed . . .I am still a self-motivated but patient with others peson.) A valuable lesson in patience . . .
Please look at the big picture!!! If you are willing to homeschool the early years, what about the HS years!?! Who wants to teach the Middle Grades!?!
Too many students are falling through the cracks (parent/school/society caused cracks!!! )

 

[momof3poohlovers]

I agree with those who say that it really depends on the child. Here in CA, the cut-off is Dec. 1. My DD's birthday is Nov. 10th and at the time she started Kindergarten, was already reading chapter books. We did consider waiting an extra year for social reasons, but her pre-school teachers said "no way, she'll be bored" so she started Kindergarten at 4. She is now 15 and will be a Junior in High School in Aug. and is doing wonderful. She is the top of her class and socially fits in with her peers. The only time she has ever complained is recently that her friends have their driver's license and she has to wait unitl Nov. It's not a big deal though and if that is the only problem she encounters with being one of the youngest, she is fortunate. She is considered "gifted" so I don't know if that made a difference or not but I don't regret sending her at 4 for a minute.

My 9 year old son on the other hand is an early May birthday and there are times I wish I had held him back. He seems immature for his age and although he is not at the bottom of his class, he does struggle in certain things. It's funny, I really wish their birth months were switched because if he had been the Nov. birthday, I would have held him back in a heartbeat but because of the early birthday I decided against it.

So, I guess after all of this my point is, only you know your child and can make this decision. You can always start him in Kindergarten and if you notice that he is struggling or seems behind the other children socially, he can repeat Kindergarten. Good Luck!

 

[Aristomommy]

I personally never saw a child "suffer" from "waiting", but saw many challenged from plunging ahead . . . (my own parents made me take along a novel that I could open and read beneath my desk when my "normal" work was completed . . .I am still a self-motivated but patient with others peson.) A valuable lesson in patience . . .
Please look at the big picture!!! If you are willing to homeschool the early years, what about the HS years!?! Who wants to teach the Middle Grades!?!
Too many students are falling through the cracks (parent/school/society caused cracks!!! )

Unfortunately the public schools are not funded to take care of the students that are not "average" in their learning. I have seen children "suffer" from wrong placement, be it early or due to holding back. DDs classroom had children from 8-10 years old this year. The older ones were held back and younger ones sent early. Neither group is served well by educating to the average. A lot of development takes place btw. 8-10 years old physically, cognitively and socially. An 8 year old who is bright and gifted gets the material quickly and then is bored 2/3 of the time. You can't always tell that child to do more of the same work or just read, they would read most of the day.

Also, I don't buy the whole age difference problems in high school. Many kids have friends in different grade levels, our school actually encourages that in their teaching model. Some kids will drive earlier than others. Some kids don't drive at 16 even if they could, which is a safer choice anyhow, IMHO. Teenagers can figure out that different kids have different privileges because of age or what parents allow. I grew up with friends that were allowed to do things that I wasn't and vice versa. The sooner kids learn this, the better off they are.

 

[crossfamily]

I agree with most that you know you child best... Now my ds10 has a 7/25 birthday and I started him in K that September. He is doing fine. Yes he is one of the youngest in his class but he really doesn't care.. Now my ds4 went to 3year old preschool and he has a birthday of 3/25. He was one of the oldest in his class. He will go to 4 year old preschool in the fall. My dd2 will start 3 year old preschool in september and she has a 10/14 birthday. She can already do everything my ds4 can do and more. She has no problem being away from mom and dad. In fact in our parent tot classes she told me to leave.. Each kid is different. Now if my ds4 had a later birthday I would have held him back but my dd on the other hand no one can hold her back.. Good Luck...

 

[ProudMomTo3Boys]

I haven't read all the responses to the question however this is my experience. My DS8's birthday is August 24. He was in a preschool program for speech delay through our town. By law if he tests at his age level they can not hold him back in the program. I could have held him back on my own and paid for him to continue in preschool or just send him to kindergarten. He was testing above his age level. I sent him. I was worried about him going from a class of 6 to a class of approx. 20/25 kids. He did fine. He had no problems whatsoever. He continued to get his speech therapy twice a week but never encountered any problems. He is going into the 4th grade in September and he is an A/B student.

 

[DisneyfeverTN]

You can ask 100 different parents and get 100 different answers. I believe it all depends on the child, the school, and so many other things.

Our youngest DS's birthday is July 30th. When I enrolled him in K-5 in a private school, they told me that I should enroll him in the K-4 (before they had even tested him). They told me that boys with late birthdays tend to do much better when they are not the youngest.

I didn't listen and enrolled him in the kindergarten class anyway. He stayed in the class for 6 weeks. The kids were expected to learn 10 new words a week, among many other things. He struggled emotionally and academically. After 6 weeks I gave up and enrolled him in the K-4. It was the best decision I have ever made in my life. In first grade they had to read four books a week. He is now a great reader. He read The Hobbit in 4th grade and just read The Eldest this year.

He will be going into the 6th grade this year and is very confident and an excellent student. The school has changed their recommended cutoff date to June 1st. So, for us it was the right decision.

BTW - my daughter was the youngest kid in her class all through school. However, she had no problems at all.

 

[Princessbaby]

My Ds has a June 21 b-day(just turned 6 last week) and we decided to hold him back last year and it did a world of difference. I can see this year he is definitely ready, last year I was on the fence. I'm really glad I did it. So he starts K this August and is really excited about going! It really just depends on each individual child.

 

[jjenniboo]

My daughter doesn't turn 5 until November 11th but we are still sending her to kindergarten. She did her kindergarten evaluation in May with all the other kids and the three teachers she met all said she did great. She is at all the same levels as the five year olds and is looking forward to starting school.

 

[Tikicampers]

Because it is a vicious circle. The same parents who make a big deal about holding their kids back are the ones who complain incessantly that the teacher/school/curriculum isn't challenging enough for their brilliant child. School boards and state legislators bow to the pressure of the squeaky wheel and up the standards and make kindergarten even more academic and push the entry dates earlier and earlier in hopes of stopping the ridiculous holding back of a child who turns five in June being held back from a district whose cut off is in December. Then as soon as the cut off becomes June, then you've got January birthday kids being held back. All this trend is doing is creating a *larger* spread in age and abilities in classes, which hurts *all* students. What is the point of having kindergarten teaching skills that used to be taught to second graders when you end up having a class of 7 year olds in Kindergarten? It's not kindergarten any more, it's second grade called kindergarten. And parents are being forced to pay private school tuition for preschool programs that cover the skills that used to be taught in kindergarten.

Make kindergarten designed for children aged 4.75-6.25 during the entire course of the school year. Don't let parents hold their kids back "just because". The whole system will work much smoother.

I haven't read much past this, but I felt I had to respond, because in my experience this is just not true. The parents who choose to hold their kids back do so because their child is not ready for K. It may be because of academics or social/emotional issues. I have not had any parents of kids that were late starters complain about wanting a more challenging curriculum. The parents that do that have children with birthdays in any given month.
The reason that the K curriculum is so much harder has to do with many different factors. For one, we know more about how kids learn, and that we can introduce skills earlier than once thought. The introduction of high stakes testing has also lead to a harder curriculum. In our state, if kids don't pass the test, they don't move on to the next grade. We want to give them as much time as possible to work on the skills they will need to pass. With No Child Left Behind, schools must show progress every year. This forces them to push standards to lower grades.

If you have a "younger" child, and it doesn't occur to you to hold him or her back then don't. If you are worried about it, talk to your child's preschool teacher and a local Kindergarten teacher to decide if your child is ready.

 

[dbarker]

DS19 was always the youngest in his class (Aug bday). His Kindergarten teacher highly recommended that I hold him back b/c of his age. When I asked about his academics, she said he was fine. Her main concern was that his motor skills were not up to par (he couldn't catch a ball very well at the time) and that he would be the shortest in his class and would have a harder time w/ sports.

I let her know that even though I was a CPA, I still couldn't catch a ball. Also, even if we held him back for 5 years he would probably still be the smallest kid in his class b/c I was 4' 10" and his dad was 5' 6".

Yes, he was always the shortest in his class. He graduated from high school a semester early and is now in the USMC. He has a good job where he is able to use his mathematical skills. All in all, I think he did very well. I did not ever regret not holding him back.

DS8 is a different story w/ a January bday. Every child is different. I judge it on academic ability, not age or size.

 

[MousekeMommy]

I have to say, once again, as an experienced teacher and as a mother of 2, that you are the best judge of your child . . . but do take all aspects--academic, emotional/social, and physical maturity--into consideration. That is what schools are (or should be) addressing--the whole child! And by all means send them on time--those who choose early or late entry should be the exception. Statewide and Nationwide, I'd venture to say that late entries are the exception. For those seeing an increase in late entries in your neighborhood or social circle, think about how many are trying to send their children early due to daycare expense??? That, nationwide, is more of a trend. Consider where the recent pressure for all-day kindergarten has come from??? Not because 5 year olds don't need a rest or nap!!! (However, in all fairness, there are those holding their child out because they don't want to let go of their baby, too! But, in my experience, that is much more of a middle class phenomenon.) The cut-off date deadlines set by states are a guideline to acheive an average of abilities--but, by all means, you know your child! If you feel strongly about sending your child early or late, there are many options available (public, private, homeschooling, etc.) But I have taught students K - 12, and from my experience, there are often ramifications when students are either very young or very old for their grade. Nothing life or death or insurmountable, mind you, but "things to deal with". (Things as complicated as the ability for abstract reasoning needed for algebra, and things as basic as the onset of puberty/interest in the opposite sex/legal driving age.) The fact that you are interested in this thread shows that you care and will probably do what you need to do for you child.
Good luck in your decision! There are no guartantees in life (or school). Make the best decision that you can and stand by it!
(By the way, my children have begun school "on time" by state guidelines, and are average to above in all areas.)

 

[Tikicampers]

I. . . but do take all aspects--academic, emotional/social, and physical maturity--into consideration. That is what schools are (or should be) addressing--the whole child!

I cannot agree with this more. I have had so many students, who could do the academics, but were lacking in other areas.

 

[kmooreteach]

I commend you for giving this some thought and getting advice. I am a 2nd grade teacher. Our cut-off is Sept. 1. I can usually pick summer babies out of a crowd. If your child tends to be an outgoing, quick learner--probably a first born/only, you might consider it. If your child is the youngest, especially a boy and doesn't seem too interested in learning, reading, making letters, etc.. seriously think about giving them another year. I was one of the youngest growing up and did fine academically. Socially, looking back, I got into clothes, boys, pop culture stuff about a year after everyone else. This is not a decision you can undo. Think a few years down the road. Will your child be able to 'hold their own' in PreK and K, but then it becomes more of a struggle later??? My husband was older and he liked it b/c he got to drive much early than everyone else and of course that was cool. He needed that extra year as a little guy. We are 15 months apart and graduated high school together.
Observe your child in their current preschool, mother's day out, or sunday school class. How do they compare to the other kids. My daughter is a Nov. baby and will be older than most kids in her class. Her friend will turn 4 in a couple of weeks--so about 8 months difference. That difference is huge for these girls (both first borns). Our friends made the choice to give their daughter another year--and frankly, I encouraged it!!
Good luck!! Nobody tells you this kind of stuff before you have them do they!!!

 

[myasmum]

Depends on your child here in Ontario, Canada they have to be 4 by Dec 31st to go to school. My oldest her D-Day is Oct 27th and she was 3 turning 4 when she started school and was NO problem at all as I sent her to March Break Camp for 1 week 9am to 4pm and she LOVED it and again in summer and no problem at school.
My son whos B-Day is in Jan wouldnt have been ready when he started school if he was born in Dec or before. He was 4 1/2 yrs when he start and by then he had no problems at all at that age when he started.

My youngest daughter who is born in April will be starting school in Sept she will be almost 4 1/2yr and she has wanted to go to school since she was 2yrs old.
So it all depends on your child and how they as well as you feel
Good Luck
Robyn

 

[pfp258]

I was one of those moms that sent her daughter who had just turned 5 August 19 to kindergarten (our cut off date is September 1). Being a former teacher I thought she was ready to go. (As did her pre-school teachers!) Kindergarten was fine academically but it was the emotional component that still needed to be developed. It wasn't until first grade that my daughter started to struggle (tummy aches etc.) We were moving to a new neighborhood nearby but would be changing schools. Her teacher recommended that my daughter attend the last quarter of kindergarten at her new school and then repeat 1st grade. I was shocked and really not ready to even consider that. I thought she would out grow some of the issues she was having (slow in fine motor, hard time being at school all day etc.) After much consideration I did just as her teacher recommended and put her back into kindergarten at her new school.
Needless to say it was the best decision my husband and I ever made. My daughter is now entering 8th grade and doing wonderfully. She has a great group of friends and has been on honor roll all of her middle school years.
I can't even imagine her being a whole year ahead in school. I thank that
1st grade teacher for having the wisdom to see something that I didn't want to see.
Being ready for kindergarten is more than just knowing your colors and shapes. There really is an emotional component that people sometimes overlook. Some children are ready when they have just turned 5 and others may just need some time to continue developing. The key is trying to figure out where your child is.

 

[mommylicious]

I will admit I haven't read this whole thread but my DS who is a rising 2nd grader has a summer birthday. We had MANY people encourage us to hold him back including the director of his preschool. I thought he was ready so I asked her WHY she recommended that thinking maybe I just had my parental blinders on or something. Her answer was basically "well, boys are more imature than girls and he'll be a young 5." It had nothing to do with his academic or scoial development. DH and I decided to send him on time and agreed that if the kindergarten teacher felt it was a problem we'd pull him back out if need be. He did great! We are so glad we didn't hold him back! He did fantastic in 1st grade. He is reading at about a middle of 3rd grade level and got a perfect score on the math portion of his CRCT at the end of the year. He's happy and outgoing so no social issues too. For him, waiting would have been a mistake.

My birthday is 9/19 and the cut off is 9/1. My parents used the loophole of sending me to private school for kind and 1st grade and the into the public school in 2nd grade. I did fine too. Good grades and no social issues. In fact the only "problem" I had was that I was 17 for the first few weeks of college. My group of friends was going out one night to hear a band I wanted to hear but you had to be 18 to get in the club so I was left out for that. Other than that, no issues at all.

You know your child best. Do what is right for your child and don't let what other people do for their kids influence your decision one way or another. Each kid is different.

 

[Mrs. D]

My sons birthday is 8/10, he started kindergarten "on time" last year...I never knew there was a debate or option about this. In my mind he's 5, he goes to Kindergarten I will say even if I had known, I would have never considered holding him back...IMO the children born in his birthyear, no matter what month are his actual peers...

He breezed through kindergarten, he tested at the end of the year on a 2nd grade reading level, and won the Math award for his class this year. He went to an excellent pre-school, and we all worked w/ him all of the time on his basics. Not because he would be entering "younger" (again this never entered my mind), but because it's important. His kindergarten teacher said he already had mastered all of the basics she was teaching a lot of her students thru the first half of the year...

I'm sure each child is different, that;s what makes the world go round...while my son has an absolute LOVE of learning, my daughter LIKES it, but does not love it...I see the difference. I just do not see the benefit ho holding a child back. That is just my un-informed opinion though...

 

[meandtheguys2]

My sons birthday is 8/10, he started kindergarten "on time" last year...I never knew there was a debate or option about this. In my mind he's 5, he goes to Kindergarten I will say even if I had known, I would have never considered holding him back...IMO the children born in his birthyear, no matter what month are his actual peers...

Interesting. My peers aren't age related, and neither are my kids. My two oldest have BFs that are 2 years older, and my youngest has a BF who is a year younger.

I teach SS for a class comprised of 3 - 5's. They are all over the board developmentally. Gender has a greater impact than age, IMO.

I'm glad it worked out for your son, though. And I agree, all kids are different!

 

[Mrs. D]

Interesting. My peers aren't age related, and neither are my kids. My two oldest have BFs that are 2 years older, and my youngest has a BF who is a year younger.

I teach SS for a class comprised of 3 - 5's. They are all over the board developmentally. Gender has a greater impact than age, IMO.

I'm glad it worked out for your son, though. And I agree, all kids are different!

IMO your peers are people in your age group...he gets along w/ both boys and girls his age, that generally are where he is developmentally....but I wouldn't really know any different because he's always been around children his age...like my daughter who is younger is generally around children that are her age...

FYI
peer1 -2. a person who is equal to another in abilities, qualifications, age, background, and social status. So I suppose a peer is relative.

I would never have even entertained the notion that it wouldn't have worked out for him. But again every child is completely different.