Anyone remember my student "S?"

[Ember]

We finally have a diagnosis for him. We convinced his parents to agree to testing by threatening to put him in the behavior classroom. The papers were submitted in November and he went for two days of testing last week.

It's been a crazy year for him, as he came in from kindergarten with no TA help, we fought for 1/2 time support and he spent half his day in the office and then we finally got a full time TA with him in December. Because there was no testing and no diagnosis there was also no funding, so every penny was a fight. In the end, we ended up siphoning off the funding of other students - the ethics of which I'm still not comfortable with, but we really were between a rock and hard place and the decision wasn't mine but the administrations.

Anyway, he went for the assessment and after a bit of a time convincing the parents to release the results (they weren't going to share them with us ) it turns out he isn't on the autism spectrum but is instead extremely ADHD, with emphasis on the "extremely." So now I'm reading as much as I can as quickly as I can to put together a transition plan for him for next year. I know there was nothing I could do, but had I known this in September I could have been working on strategies all year to help him...

I'm glad that he'll now be able to receive help, even if it isn't me who will be able to provide it. I just thought I'd update after all the help the people here gave as I struggled with this at the beginning of the year.

 

[chisnpeke]

I remember you posting about what a problem he was causing. I'm glad the parents finally agreed to testing and he can get some help. You did good.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I don't get parents not testing and not sharing info. DS9 has an IEP, he has ADHD. I would never think of not sharing all medical info with the school and teachers. As parents we want our child to succeed in school and we are advocates for him. How can we do that if we are not being open about his issues and get him the help he needs.

I know lots of parents do that here too. I just dont get it. To me it is a form of child abuse.

 

[kirstenb1]

Good for you and everyone else who went the extra mile so this child gets the support he needs. Our younger dd is in special ed preschool. One of the little boys is extremely ADHD. I know his family too. They constantly have to turn down wedding invitations, cookouts, etc, because he is just so hyper. Our daughter is extremely withdrawn, so his mom and I are planning several playdates this summer, hoping the kids will rub off on each other!!

 

[nmmom95]

I'm glad this child will be getting the help he needs. I don't understand how parents can hide their heads in the sand. It is unfair to the child.

 

[Green Tea]

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

 

[Gigi22]

My best friend is a retired Special Ed. teacher. Over the years she encountered a number of parents who, for various reasons, would not have children tested. One set of parents had child their tested privately, and would not divulge results to the child's Special Ed. teacher. You have to wonder about the mindset there.

 

[aprilgail2]

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

 

[jodifla]

Many of us refuse school testing because a lot of it is done only for FUNDING reasons by people who don't have the qualifications to actually do proper testing. This has led to the alleged "epidemic" of ADHD and autism.

I refuse to let the school test my child because it's clear they have an agenda. I got my own testing done instead, and of course shared that info so he could get the proper help and support.

Now, that didn't stop one school district from illegally bringing in an assessor and testing our child behind our backs. Of course, when the tests their person did failed to bring up the result they wanted, they kept quiet.

 

[jodifla]

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

Really!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

I also agree.

PS: It is hard enough for parents to have to come to terms that their child may be diagnosed with a serious neurological condition/disability...
It can be devastating.
It can take TiME.
It can be hard enough without others passing negative judgement and making widespread comment.

I do however give great KUDOS!!! for the efforts made by those in the school who have taken great measures to try to help with this students education.

 

[MM27]

I don't get parents not testing and not sharing info. DS9 has an IEP, he has ADHD. I would never think of not sharing all medical info with the school and teachers. As parents we want our child to succeed in school and we are advocates for him. How can we do that if we are not being open about his issues and get him the help he needs.

I know lots of parents do that here too. I just dont get it. To me it is a form of child abuse.

I think sometimes parents don't want their child tested or even referred because they were in special ed when they were in school and they think it is still the same or they think it makes them look bad as a parent. I find the opposite to be true. I talked to a parent in the beginning of the year about doing a referral on her child. She refused. We talked again, she refused. Finally I went to my principal and explained what was happening and he said to put in the referral and the parent would be more than welcome to attend the meeting when it was scheduled. We can't test without a parent signature, but we can hold a referral meeting without them. To make a long story short, the mother finally agreed to testing, 8 months later, and there is in fact a learning disability.

Referrals are a lot of paperwork for teachers. I certainly wouldn't put one in just for the heck of it.

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

Are you serious?
It's not like she mentioned the kids name and what school she teaches at. How many times do people mention things about their kid's teacher or their kid's friends?

That's great parenting. I won't get my child the help they need because I'm afraid that they are going to anonymously post about it on a message board.

 

[RitaE]

In the end, we ended up siphoning off the funding of other students - the ethics of which I'm still not comfortable with, but we really were between a rock and hard place and the decision wasn't mine but the administrations.

That's terrible.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I do remember the student and the challenges. I don't know how you made it through the year. It sounded really tough.

I'm glad he will finally receive the help he needs.

 

[PollyannaMom]

Maybe the parents were hesitant to disclose medical information because they knew it was going to be discussed on a public message board by the teacher.

Um, woah. - It's not as if the teacher used the student's name or anything.

I'm personally glad that a teacher can ask for help and suggestions anonymously. When you really don't know what to do for a child, it can be overwhelming. - Rather then lose hope and stop trying, the OP was able to come here to get fresh ideas and encouragement to keep working for the child. Now it's paying off - next year's teacher will have the right tools for that child from the start, and she simply posted back to say thank you.

As for why the parents didn't want to test, I think it was most likely fear of stigma. (And that's a normal reaction, so I'm not blaming them for coming around slowly either.)

 

[Wishing on a star]

I'm personally glad that a teacher can ask for help and suggestions anonymously. When you really don't know what to do for a child, it can be overwhelming. - Rather then lose hope and stop trying, the OP was able to come here to get fresh ideas and encouragement to keep working for the child.

Ohhhh, I think most would agree with this!!!!
I applaud any teacher who would be so focused on helping this child.
(My son's teachers were quite the opposite.)

However, instead of something like "How can one help a child in this situation?" These posts seem to have gone further. There are multiple posts, multiple details, and yes, there have been negative judgements and speculations about parents.

Why, on some days, does the first page of the DIS, a public, disney, general, message board almost look like a teacher's forum?

 

[jodifla]

We finally have a diagnosis for him. We convinced his parents to agree to testing by threatening to put him in the behavior classroom. The papers were submitted in November and he went for two days of testing last week.

It's been a crazy year for him, as he came in from kindergarten with no TA help, we fought for 1/2 time support and he spent half his day in the office and then we finally got a full time TA with him in December. Because there was no testing and no diagnosis there was also no funding, so every penny was a fight. In the end, we ended up siphoning off the funding of other students - the ethics of which I'm still not comfortable with, but we really were between a rock and hard place and the decision wasn't mine but the administrations.

Anyway, he went for the assessment and after a bit of a time convincing the parents to release the results (they weren't going to share them with us ) it turns out he isn't on the autism spectrum but is instead extremely ADHD, with emphasis on the "extremely." So now I'm reading as much as I can as quickly as I can to put together a transition plan for him for next year. I know there was nothing I could do, but had I known this in September I could have been working on strategies all year to help him...

I'm glad that he'll now be able to receive help, even if it isn't me who will be able to provide it. I just thought I'd update after all the help the people here gave as I struggled with this at the beginning of the year.

So, you bullied the parents. Great!

And the school personnel, as is typical these days, rushed to the autism Dx. And you were wrong, again typical!!!!!!!!

Why do teachers think they have ANY business Dxing children??????

 

[Ember]

So, you bullied the parents. Great!

And the school personnel, as is typical these days, rushed to the autism Dx. And you were wrong, again typical!!!!!!!!

Why do teachers think they have ANY business Dxing children??????

I never wanted to diagnose anything. I have no vested interest in what the diagnosis turned out to be. I was in a situation with a child that couldn't function without one on one help that wasn't available because there was no extra money for the child because no testing had been done. All I wanted to do was help, but had no guidance whatsoever on what was wrong or what steps to take. With absolutely no information I did my best based on what it looked like. What else could I do? I had to look somewhere for ideas on how to best help this child succeed. I read as much as I could and tried things until something seemed to work.

With absolutely no clear picture of what the problem was, what would have liked me to do? What would your solution have been? Really, I'm not being sarcastic, what should I have done?

As to bullying, with no funding for a TA, he would have wound up in the behavior classroom. That is just the way it is. He may still depending if his diagnosis qualifies him for a TA next year. None of that is my choice, though I hope he stays in the regular classroom. Now that the teacher knows what's wrong he/she can use the information to work with him.

 

[texaslover]

So, you bullied the parents. Great!

And the school personnel, as is typical these days, rushed to the autism Dx. And you were wrong, again typical!!!!!!!!

Why do teachers think they have ANY business Dxing children??????

Are you serious!!!????

As a teacher she went above and beyond and possibly against district policy to HELP this child. I am a teacher and in my district a student would never get a one on one aide without an evaluation and IEP. Even then they would not have a full time aide and, if that is needed, would be moved to a Functional Academics classroom with movement to the general education room for increasing periods of time with an aide as dictated by success.

And, if the student was showing adequate academic ability and progress it would be the teacher's job to manage his/her behavior. If that was unsuccessful and the behavior effected the learning or safety of other students then, yes, there is a chance they could be put in a BD (behavior disorder) classroom.

No one can have it both ways. A student with no learning disabilities or special needs cannot be allowed to disrupt or hurt others. In turn, a student that is diagnosed will get the support they need to be in a least restrictive environment and receive a Free and Public Education.

No teacher wants to "get rid of" a child or embarass or misdiagnose them. I truly believe this. But we are human and are responsible for the learning of 20 or more kids and cannot continue to hinder the learning of everyone to give 99% of the attention to one student if we don't know how to help or what is wrong.

The worst part about being a teacher is that everyone thinks they know our job better than us as well as believe that we have no conscience and are out to get the kids. It couldn't be farther from the truth and is the reason many teachers leave the profession. We want to do right, help, and have every student succeed but when our character is continually questioned, we are called liars or worse, and the disrespect is passed from parent to their kids it is so disheartening.

As for the posters that said the parent didn't test because they didn't want their kid's info posted on a message board.....it may be a good "comeback" but has no basis in reality.

 

[jodifla]

Are you serious!!!????

As a teacher she went above and beyond and possibly against district policy to HELP this child. I am a teacher and in my district a student would never get a one on one aide without an evaluation and IEP. Even then they would not have a full time aide and, if that is needed, would be moved to a Functional Academics classroom with movement to the general education room for increasing periods of time with an aide as dictated by success.

And, if the student was showing adequate academic ability and progress it would be the teacher's job to manage his/her behavior. If that was unsuccessful and the behavior effected the learning or safety of other students then, yes, there is a chance they could be put in a BD (behavior disorder) classroom.

No one can have it both ways. A student with no learning disabilities or special needs cannot be allowed to disrupt or hurt others. In turn, a student that is diagnosed will get the support they need to be in a least restrictive environment and receive a Free and Public Education.

No teacher wants to "get rid of" a child or embarass or misdiagnose them. I truly believe this. But we are human and are responsible for the learning of 20 or more kids and cannot continue to hinder the learning of everyone to give 99% of the attention to one student if we don't know how to help or what is wrong.

The worst part about being a teacher is that everyone thinks they know our job better than us as well as believe that we have no conscience and are out to get the kids. It couldn't be farther from the truth and is the reason many teachers leave the profession. We want to do right, help, and have every student succeed but when our character is continually questioned, we are called liars or worse, and the disrespect is passed from parent to their kids it is so disheartening.

As for the posters that said the parent didn't test because they didn't want their kid's info posted on a message board.....it may be a good "comeback" but has no basis in reality.

This is a falsehood, unfortunately. Lots of teachers like to get rid of students who aren't of the "sit down and shut up" variety.

I agree that a child who is experiencing trouble in the classroom should be referred for testing by teachers, to be done by QUALIFIED professionals, and the parents should support this. This does not include teachers "guessing" at a Dx --- there are a lot of things that could be going on, and teachers' false ideas about autism particularly are very detrimental to children.

Certain Dxes bring in more money for the schools, so these schools are incentivized to label every child they can with that Dx.


I've dealt with teachers who could not shut up about what they thought my son's Dx is, even when presented with multiple tests from multiple professionals that said otherwise. They had another label and an IEP to get them all the help they needed, but they thought they were the expert on my son's condition.

It wasn't until they STOPPED acting on their preconceived notions and STARTED acting on what our researchers told them that my son started to have success in the classroom.