Anyone have trouble with step daughters mum being funny

[Tammysue5]

As a mom and step-mom I have to say that I put a great deal of importance on B-days...but it is really not something that would keep me from allowing my children to enjoy a trip to Disney. Mom could plan a special night upon return w/her daughter. Maybe ex is having natural feelings (Jealously ?) about her daughter going on her first trip to WDW w/o her? I can understand that....BUT having experienced the negatives and positives of being a step-parent I can say that sometimes we need to take the first step...

Talk w/the mom and work something out. Is it possible to move your dates up or go w/the 12 days? You might find that when you offer a compromise the mom MAY do the same? If the mom agrees to make the change.. (or even if she doesn't) make sure that you help the daughter pick out something special for her mom's birthday. Little things like this can make all the difference. Believe me what comes around goes around. If this 'first step' does not work... always take the high road. While sometimes it may seem like a losing battle... you can never go wrong in being nice. The kids WILL (Eventually) realize it ...kids know!

Good Luck and I congratulate you and your husband on taking the daugter/step to WDW.

 

[Finally08]

Hmm, it could be worse. My ex husband and his new wife and son have been to WDW and never even invited our son (which is HIS son too) to go along. They didn't even tell us that was where they were going...probaby knew I'd be ticked off at how selfish they were being by only bringing one of his kids.

 

[Tammysue5]

Hmm, it could be worse. My ex husband and his new wife and son have been to WDW and never even invited our son (which is HIS son too) to go along. They didn't even tell us that was where they were going...probaby knew I'd be ticked off at how selfish they were being by only bringing one of his kids.

I agree w/you ..that is worse. I can honestly say that I cannot imagine going on vacation and NOT inviting my step son.....OMG! I would be ashamed of myself. (and yes I am a step mom) I feel for both you and your son. Hopefully your husband will get a backbone or the new wife will realize that could be her son someday and make the right choice.

 

[Finally08]

I agree w/you ..that is worse. I can honestly say that I cannot imagine going on vacation and NOT inviting my step son.....OMG! I would be ashamed of myself. (and yes I am a step mom) I feel for both you and your son. Hopefully your husband will get a backbone or the new wife will realize that could be her son someday and make the right choice.

I should clarify...this has nothing to do with my current husband, but my ex. It's our son from our previous marriage. He (the ex) and his new wife, and their new son (so our son's half brother) are the ones who went. So he didn't invite HIS OWN son, which is also my son (and THEIR son's older brother).

Ha, who knows, they may be on the boards planning their next trip.

 

[bumbershoot]

You don't plan a trip of that magnitude without making sure the plans work for both families.

And nowhere in her post does she say that they did NOT. Everyone here is assuming that they didn't, when all she says is that they just told her stepdaughter about their plans, and now the mom is pulling back on the number of days.

I, personally, being a stepdaughter 3 times over (one stepmom, two stepdads), think that they DID get the plans settled, but suddenly the mom looked at the calendar and is being a poop.

Or she suddenly got worried about her daughter being taken overseas, if I'm reading the British-sounding post right. Or whatever.

I assume that they did have the plans set, everyone else is assuming otherwise.

But she didn't say, one way or the other.

 

[libbylast]

Hi All

Thanks for all your comments. Dates were confirmed before booked but she has just realised that we get back day after her birthday. I am gonna tell hubby to ask her what she wants us to do but she has gotta remember we have another daughter and jobs to think of there as she doesn't. Also what has confused me its a school day so if we werent away the daughter would be at school. But whatever her reasons I am going to be reasonable and probably change it to 12 days to make her happy.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

Hi All

Thanks for all your comments. Dates were confirmed before booked but she has just realised that we get back day after her birthday. I am gonna tell hubby to ask her what she wants us to do but she has gotta remember we have another daughter and jobs to think of there as she doesn't. Also what has confused me its a school day so if we werent away the daughter would be at school. But whatever her reasons I am going to be reasonable and probably change it to 12 days to make her happy.

In that case, I would be upset, too! She suddenly didn't realize when her birthday was? Sheesh! Sounds like somebody wants to put a damper on your plans. I personally wouldn't give in to easily. If you had the dates confirmed before then you should be able to enjoy your vacation and time with your step daughter. And plus, it will make her think that she can do something like this anytime she wants to and you will give in. I am sorry that you are going through this. I know how it feels! Luckily, we have it all in legal writing now and we have had to remind the mother of this a few times.

 

[xoprincessmomxo]

Hmm, it could be worse. My ex husband and his new wife and son have been to WDW and never even invited our son (which is HIS son too) to go along. They didn't even tell us that was where they were going...probaby knew I'd be ticked off at how selfish they were being by only bringing one of his kids.

I'm so sorry for your son. We have never taken a family vacation without my step daughter, hence the word "family"! Her mother and step father have NEVER taken her on vacation, not even just to a hotel room! But to not include your own son in something so magical? Unimaginable! I would give that ex a piece of my mind!

 

[Darcy03231]

Hmm, it could be worse. My ex husband and his new wife and son have been to WDW and never even invited our son (which is HIS son too) to go along. They didn't even tell us that was where they were going...probaby knew I'd be ticked off at how selfish they were being by only bringing one of his kids.

How terrible for your son! I would never consider a family vacation without taking all of the children. Heck, there have been times when I planned a vacation without DH (he only gets 2 weeks vacation time to my 4 weeks and he hates WDW) and still made sure I invited my stepchildren to go too. I love them both dearly and would never want them to feel left out of anything we do.

 

[tomthebarncat]

Hi All

Thanks for all your comments. Dates were confirmed before booked but she has just realised that we get back day after her birthday. I am gonna tell hubby to ask her what she wants us to do but she has gotta remember we have another daughter and jobs to think of there as she doesn't. Also what has confused me its a school day so if we werent away the daughter would be at school. But whatever her reasons I am going to be reasonable and probably change it to 12 days to make her happy.

Your original post did not provide any details and I was a bit harsh with you! I apologize as this issue is clearly the moms fault. If she approved the dates without looking at a calender, shame on her. I would have DH gently remind her that she approved the dates and that monies have been spent, and arrangements have been made. I would also let her know that her daughter will get her a SPECIAL birthday present from the most magical place in the world. If possible maybe she could even call from the states to wish her happy birthday.If she still will not budge, and it is not feasible to cancel or change plans, I would make sure the mom tells daughter that she is NOT going to Disneyworld and why!!! I know if this was me, I would spend the day alone vs. informing my kid why she can't go on this trip and breaking her heart and incurring the wrath and disdain of my ex!! NO thanks, easier to let her go and have fun

 

[tomthebarncat]

Hmm, it could be worse. My ex husband and his new wife and son have been to WDW and never even invited our son (which is HIS son too) to go along. They didn't even tell us that was where they were going...probaby knew I'd be ticked off at how selfish they were being by only bringing one of his kids.

You divorce spouses not children. They should be ashamed of themselves for not at least extending the invitation. My guess is that new wife is threatened by you and your child. Karma is a bi****!

 

[Harlie]

hi

Really fed up, told step daugher taking her to disney in nov just found out her mum has said we cant go for the amount of time we want as its her b day, is it me but whats more important 1st trip to disney or a 29 year old b day.

Plus fed up we gotta pay amendment fees to reduce our hols from 15 days to 12!

Sorry for moan!

I have to say as being a blended family mom here that even though I have custody of my DD my ex (her dad) has family traditions of his own and in his family they celebrate Birthdays and want to included DD. I know what these dates are and if we are planning something and can not avoid those dates I have always asked my ex if it is alright for her to miss or if he can reschedule.

9/10 times this is not a problem as long as plenty of notice is given. 1/10 times he is just being an a$$. LOL!

Communication is essential with blended families.

Oh and if he and his GF wanted to take her on my birthday it would not matter to much to me. I know his family places more value on adult birthdays then our family does.

 

[Finally08]

You divorce spouses not children. They should be ashamed of themselves for not at least extending the invitation. My guess is that new wife is threatened by you and your child. Karma is a bi****!

Actually I'd say it has more to do with his father being so tight. His complaint would have been that it would have cost so much to bring him, but he doesn't forget he has him come tax time when he can get his deductions.

 

[tomthebarncat]

Actually I'd say it has more to do with his father being so tight. His complaint would have been that it would have cost so much to bring him, but he doesn't forget he has him come tax time when he can get his deductions.

There is a special place in He** for people like this, I am floored that he would think and act that way towards his own child. You cannot put a price tag on kids or pets but evidently many are quick to do so. I would put my foot up his as* so fast, if he was my ex for treating our kid like this but that is just me.