Anyone have a daughter that has matured to fast?

[bdcp]

It has gotten earlier, but most girls I grew up with were closer to 13. My sisters and I were 16. It's genetic (our mom was 16) and is also related to body fat. You won't start until you have a certain body fat level, just as women who let their body fat get too low quit having periods. Sorry, but I think 8 or even 9 is very, very young. My friends who have daughters say they all started around 12. I wouldn't put a child on the pill (hormones) that isn't medically necessary. Even if she is the first of her friends, there will be more in the next year. Personally, I think 10 is old enough to know the facts of life and she needs to understand what's going on and how normal it is. By 10, both our boys knew the facts of life (actually by age 8 we were starting to have talks).

 

[scubamouse]

I suggest, like someone else said, get the American Girl book "The Care and Keeping of You" and read it, then give it to your DD to read. You can get it at any bookstore. I still see my DD15 checking things in that book.

My DD started reading it at 7.5 and reads it every week. I love that it covers everything from taking care of braces and glasses to body changes. Seriously, buy the book!

From what I'm hearing from friends that on the early side of normal.

 

[bellebud]

I think enough people have told you don't do it, and glad to see you responded you won't. I know it's hard when our little girls grow up - mine is 11 and I'm expecting it any day (or week or month) now. I have pads and the skinniest tampons they make so we're ready when the day comes. She's known about periods since forever and knows it's coming and it's just part of being female.

 

[bumbershoot]

I have thought really hard about this today and i am thinking about possibly getting her put on the pill that will stop her from having them at least until she matures a little more.

I am SO glad you've decided not to do that. Next time ANY BC pill ad comes on TV, listen to the risks that they state, out loud, in an advertisement FOR the product. Extrinsic hormones are terrifying and have nasty risks. Not to be given lightly, and as you've come to realize, this is NOT an issue at all.

I would absolutely not put my child on medicine to change something that is perfectly natural. Kids as young as 8 start their period. I got mine when I was 10 or 11. Sucked, but I just would try and treat it as special thing that girls achieve. That is what my mom did. We had a special day out and we spent some time together. Heck, I was wearing a regular bra in fourth grade. By fifth, I had started my period.

I should have been wearing a bra about a year before I started my cycle. And after the first (aka "menarche") I didn't have another for a year. I was on the young side for my grade, and was one of the last to get it, probably in 5th/6th grade.

A 10 year old girl is capable of understanding how her body works and at the same time maintaining her innocence, playing with dolls, etc.

Absolutely.

There are also real risks to being on the pill. I know everyone thinks it is harmless, but I was one of the "unlucky" people to get a blood clot from the pill (as an adult). There was no warning and I did not have any of the known risk factors. I had a serious bout of ischemic colitis from the blood clot. I was actually lucky I did not get a stroke or heart attack instead!

Glad you're OK.

I just meant i didn't go into detail about ovaries & eggs and that kind of stuff.

Why on earth not? It's her body, and the more info she has, the more informed she'll be and the better care she can take care of herself.

Listen, I knew some, because my mom shared stuff with me. But then I was such a shy and easily embarrassed girl, I started ignoring her. Then I found myself in my mid-20s, being naughty, and thinking that one body sign meant that ovulation was OVER, so I was "safe".

Then I met my husband and we knew we'd want to try for babies soon after getting married, and I picked up Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and found out that the sign I thought meant it was OVER actually meant "you are the most fertile you are going to be this month". OMG.

You've got to get your daughter the info about her body so she doesn't do stupid things when she's older.


As my *son* grows into a young man, I'll be teaching him about his body (my poor husband was taught nothing, and was entirely freaked out about things that happened with his body until he was around 16) AND about women's bodies, because I've known waaaaaaaay too many woman who knew nothing or lied to their unknowledgable boyfriends about what was "safe" when (so they could get pg)...I think it's important for humans to know how humans work.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I t is a real danger and we've had 2 DISers this past year that had blood clots from bcp. Glad you are OK.



By all means, tell her about eggs and ovaries and what her body is doing. It is a whole lot easier to accept when you know why your body is shedding the lining and what it is and why. My opinion is that it is much better to know and understand than just "having a period and thinking you are truly bleeding."

I completely agree with you. DD was told everything in the 3rd grade. She soaked up the info like a sponge. And I got to her just in time because at camp that summer some girls started talking about their periods and had all bad information that they had picked up from other kids. My DD told them that they didn't have all the info and they needed to speak to their moms. She came home and thanked me for telling her. It also led to additional questions. So OP, if you're not telling your daughter, I guarantee you that she is getting it from somewhere else. It's a fact of life. Her knowledge of it isn't going to strip away her youth.

 

[mdsoccermom]

My daughter is 11, almost 12, and several of her friends have gotten their periods. If she takes after me, she probably won't get it until she's at least 13. However, you never know, so I put together a little kit to keep in her bag at school with pads and extra underwear, just in case.

 

[aprilgail2]

Women in family all start their periods by 10-11. I thought that was the "normal" time to start.

.

It IS a normal time to start LOL....I got mine at 10 and my daughter did too-even in the grade schools they tell the girl about the "magic mirror" starting in 3rd grade...its the medicine cabinet in the school nurses office that has pads in it that they can use if they need to LOL. They had to move the "talk" at school up to 3rd grade since some kids in third grade were already getting their periods.

 

[Miniefan]

It is really strange, my dd came home from school today, and said she started her period. She had a spotting incident a couple of months ago but nothing else happened, until today. She is 10, will be 11 in March and in 5th grade.

She already knew about everything, we had a talk last year and school had a talk this year and I bought her that book as well, however, I just cant help thinking my baby is gone.

Im definitely taking cues from her, because she came home, went to her friends house to do homework, ate dinner, and then got ready to go the book fair with her friend, and tells me on the way out, oh yeah, I started my period today, we can talk about it when I get home, the nurse gave me a pad. I was kind of astonished, and shocked, but I guess I'd rather her be that way and just accept it as a natural part of life. Hugs to all of us baby less moms. And hugs to our dd's cursed too soon.

Kim

 

[Magic Mom]

I just meant i didn't go into detail about ovaries & eggs and that kind of stuff. She basically just knows that its just something all girls/women have.


Can anyone tell me were they sell those books at the other posters mentioned?

This is the perfect time to talk about those things. She isn't too young to know about the basics of reproduction. I can't understand why you wouldn't explain those things to her.

 

[Tinkh]

I know this is probably not the right time, but this whole thread reminds me of Carrie

 

[HelenePA]

my dd10 started over thanksgiving vacation I was pretty shocked. So was she! I didn't start til I was 14. Hers are very light and I haven't taken her dolls away because of it.. also she wont be going on the pill because she had a congenital heart defect (semi corrected at 6months old with open heart surgery) and I think they are a no no. She's still my little girl who is almost as tall as me and she will always be my little girl! My dd8 has read the care and keeping of you for a few years now and is all excited to get hers.. we've kept it a secret about her sister because she would be jealous.. no joke.

 

[MariDisney]

I haven't read the replies. So, this may be redundant. My DD got her period at 9 1/2. It was clear her body was maturing early as we starting seeing pubic hair around 7. Over those two years she learned all about her body and the birds and the bees. I feel like children her age can handle knowing the mechanics of sex, knowing the consequences of doing it, etc. I really don't hold anything back, particularly if she asks. No way in heck would I consider trying to hormonally control her body because I thought she wasn't ready (unless there was an actual precosious puberty diagnosis). Mother nature obviously thinks she is!

 

[MariDisney]

I just meant i didn't go into detail about ovaries & eggs and that kind of stuff. She basically just knows that its just something all girls/women have.


Can anyone tell me were they sell those books at the other posters mentioned?

The American Girl Book can be found at Amazon.com and pretty much any bookstore.

IMHO, it's never too early to teach about ovaries, eggs, sperm, ejaculations, etc. I believe in giving a little information at a time starting very early until the whole picture is complete. As I mentioned, my DD knew all of that before she started her period at 9 1/2. There's no reason not to talk about ovaries in the same way you do about lungs or elbows. They're all body parts and they all have a very natural and specific function. The less mystery about it, the better in my opinion.

 

[MinnieMe87]

If she takes after me, she probably won't get it until she's at least 13. However, you never know, so I put together a little kit to keep in her bag at school with pads and extra underwear, just in case.

I was the same way. Mine didn't come until I was a freshman in high school. I had a kit of stuff that I carried with me too, just in case.

 

[Seewhatimesdone]

Unfortunately, I got mine at ten. Some girls are just unlucky like that I guess. But putting her on the pill to stop a natural function is not right. I agree with Eastern medicine in the sense that the body needs to cleanse itself through the period. I think it's unnatural to keep it from happening. I'm 21 and I tried taking the pill and I hated it. There are significant risks as well as side effects. It makes me nauseas, anxious, etc.

 

[GAGirlInVA]

You can try changing her milk to hormone free and see if it helps. But I wouldn't put her on the pill. I agree that you should discuss it.

 

[IDoDis]

The American Girl Book can be found at Amazon.com and pretty much any bookstore.

I always see the book in the book section at Target.

Another great book is an oldie but a goody by Judy Blume called, "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret." It's about 3 girls who make a pact to tell each other when they start their periods. Each girl is worried she is going to be the last one. It will make your DD feel better about starting early. I read this book with my DD several years ago and she loved it! It is a little dated because the girls in the book practice wearing belted pads, but you can explain that part to your DD.

The book got me kind of weepy at the end. I highly recommend it!!!

 

[Belle0101]

I'm read that the OP has decided against the BC pill but I wonder, because my doctor's policy requires a pelvic exam for the prescription, how young until they wouldn't require it?

 

[laurie31]

I'm read that the OP has decided against the BC pill but I wonder, because my doctor's policy requires a pelvic exam for the prescription, how young until they wouldn't require it?

I believe if there is a reason for the pill (whether it is a condition like PCOS or simply wishing to prevent pregnancy) then a pelvic exam is a must.

 

[DebbieB]

I was 10 and in the 4th grade. And that was in 1970. I did feel ackward because I had ****s before the other girls. One girl asked me if I did exercises to get them! My mom only told me about it less than a week before so I really would have been in shock if she hadn't, none of my friends talked about it. She handed me a book her gyn gave her.