Anyone got any good jokes?!

[Free4Life11]

I need to laugh. I haven't laughed in days. Tensions and frustaration are high...someone tell a good joke please!

 

[Sparx]

Ok, blonde joke (no offence ment to anyone)

There is this trucker and he is driving down the interstate. This little candy apple red corvette cuts him off. He gets really mad. So on down the road he sees her again, and flags her down. He gets out of the truck and walks up to her car. She said, "Oh, I remember you! I passed you awhile back" he said, "yes, yes you did" then he asked her to get out of the car. she does so. He walks back to his truck and gets out a peice of chalk and a baseball bat. He draws a chalk circle on the ground and asks her to step inot it and not step out. she does so. Then he takes the baseball bat and smashes in her windshild. he turns around to see her reaction and she is grinning like an oppossom. He said, "Oh, you thinks thats funny do you?" so he beats in her hood. He turns around again and she is flat out laughing at him. He goes back to his truck, gets a sledge hammer, and totals her car. He then turns around to see her rolling on the ground screaming and laughing. He finally askes, "WHAT IS SO FUNNY?" she smiled, stood up, and brushed her self of, then she says, "well, when you turned around I stepped out of the circle three times!"

 

[Cantw8]

Check out the life is tough thread...pretty funny

 

[Free4Life11]

Sparx -- thanks! That was a good one...

Cantd8 -- I will check out that thread.

 

[wvjules]

What Old People Do For Fun

 

[Miranda Danda]

What Old People Do For Fun

That was GREAT! I'm still laughing!
Thank you. I needed that.

 

[Miranda Danda]

What do you call a cow with no legs?


Ground beef

 

[Cantw8]

OK, OK, I got one.....A duck goes into the drugstore and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill." Alright, sorry...you said GOOD jokes. Let me try again.... What did Tigger see when he looked in the toilet? Pooh!!!!!

Goodnight ladies and germs, don't forget to tip your wait staff Cantw8 has left the building.

 

[Free4Life11]

That was GREAT! I'm still laughing!
Thank you. I needed that.

I second that! That was great...

 

[Free4Life11]

OK, OK, I got one.....A duck goes into the drugstore and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."

I'm not kidding, that one had me laughing too. This is great, everyone should come to this thread and relax a little and calm their nerves! They say laughter is the best medicine...

 

[diznygirl]

Two men walked into a bar...... the next time they ducked so they wouldn't hit it!!!

(Trust me, that joke is REALLY funny at 4 am!)

 

[Twinkles6892]

What's a pirate's favorite video game?

DD ARRRRRRGH!

 

[Cantw8]

OK, I got two more......Why did I name my dog with no legs cigarette?......give up? 'cause everynight I take him out for a drag


Did you hear about the new pirate movie out? It's rated RRRRRRRRRRR
I kill me

 

[Sparx]

What's a pirate's favorite video game?

DD ARRRRRRGH!

I am dying laughing at that one!

 

[cassi06403]

Here's a lame, but cute, one:

Why did the stoplight turn red? You would turn red if you had to change in the middle of the street, too.

 

[harleyquinn]

Ooooh HTH!

I love the pirate ones!

Here's my favorite blonde joke (I'm blonde BTW):

A blonde walks into the library and drops a book on the librarians' desk. She says, "Well, I tried really hard to get to the end, but there were waaay too many characters!" And walks out.

The librarian looks at the other librarian and says, "So THATS where our phone book went!"

(I'm a librarian too)

 

[Free4Life11]

These are great!

 

[Miranda Danda]

What's a pirate's favorite video game?

DD ARRRRRRGH!

I don't get it, but I desperately want too

 

[Sparx]

I don't get it, but I desperately want too

There is a game called DDR, dance dance revolution, get it now, dd RRRGH!!

 

[Miranda Danda]

All of these jokes are SOOOOOO funny! Kepp 'em coming. I had a long, hard day.....