Anyone else think their family does too much?

[lattemomof3]

I mean things like running kids to: piano lessons, dance lessons, cub scouts etc, and things parents go to like helping at school, bible study, playing cards, fantasy football, volunteering, etc.. I've been trying to put my finger on why I've been so grouchy this year, and I think a lot of it is the constant running out the door to take the kids or myself somewhere. My mom was sometimes a SAHM, and I think it was easier back then, she actually stayed home!. We do limit our kids' activities to 1 or 2 per season, but w/ 3 kids of various ages it is still a lot of running around. I want to have more time together as a family but it does seem as if EVERYONE is in the same boat as us. I've decided to say no to activities that I can't do with at least some members of my family, and take a good hard look at the activities the kids are in. I just need to not care if every other kid in town is in everything and do what I feel is right for us. I think we need more family playtime, and the kids need more time to play with each other. Anyone else struggle with this?

 

[NMAmy]

Well, it was easier for me because I only have one kid. But I did limit dd to one activity per season which was a huge help. I remember when she was in 9th grade, she talked me into three activities--basketball was ending, volleyball was beginning, and she was in the school musical. It was a horrible month for all of us and we agreed to never do that again!

When she was old enough to drive herself, I let her choose as many activities as she wanted but I noticed that she still kept to just one.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Back when the kids were little, we did run around and do stuff. I was a Girl Scout Leader, involved in PTA, etc... My girls don't do sports so that was never an issue.

Now my oldest is off to college and my youngest is in 7th grade and is not into anything right now.

 

[Amy&Dan]

I used to feel that way very much. Years ago when my kids were younger there was only one night a week when we didn't have something to go to. I volunteered a lot (couldn't say no for the life of me) and it got to the point none of us enjoyed really anything we were doing. So we cut back, way back. Now I only commit to things I know I really want to do. When my mom got very sick and was in the end stages of her life, it gave me the perfect out clause for saying no and getting out of some things that were very stressful and time consuming.

We still have a lot going on, but now its more like 2-3 nights per week vs. 6. Big difference in the quality of our life and how much time we spend home together. But I had to learn it the hard way!

 

[jme829]

Its not too bad for us.

DD16 plays volleyball and works, but she drives so that helps out. She can get herself to and from practice/work, we just need to get to the games.

DD10 and DS8 are both in scouts...dd goes once a month and one field trip a month (parents don't go) and ds has one den and one pack meeting a month.

We as a family are starting 4H this weekend, but again its only once a month.

Spring and summer is a little hectic because my younger 2 play ball (softball and soccer for dd and baseball for ds) and that can overlap or go every night.

However I am off in the summer and I get off by 2 during the week anyways ( I work at a school) so its not so bad. It was tough this spring as dd would have softball the same nights as ds had baseball back to back..got a little tricky since they were on opposite sides of town, but we made it work.

So it seems we do a lot, but most of it is only a couple times a month.

 

[Becky2005]

We don't but I'm sure looking from the outside in, it appears we do.

There are times we are running -- like tonight, my DS is on the middle school wrestling team and they have a home meet, while my DD is in the school choir & of course, their concert is tonight (with bad weather to boot)...my DH is working late tonight so it's a finely tuned orchestrated "how am I getting everyone everywhere"? I have my parents nearby which helps as they are taking DD to the concert for the time she has to be there & I'm just coming later after getting DS from his wrestling match (hopefully it goes quick).

When DD was little she was into several things at once...she's STILL into several things at once but what they are have just changed. She was home for 7 weeks from surgery with doing nothing and it about drove her up a wall..she was never so ready to go back to school and DO something. She has asked to be in a few other things, she also volunteers at the animal shelter when she can put in a few hours. She is one that thrives on doing things...I was the same way...I was working 3 jobs & going to school full-time when I was 16+ in addition to being on the school volleyball team & bowling league -- I was always busy...but never seemed overwhelming to me. I enjoyed it.

My older DS was not a child who could handle more than a couple things but now that he's in Middle School he has jumped in with both feet. This is his first year for wrestling, once that is over, he will go back to the Social Studies Club & Chess Club has now started. I think he's probably going to try out for the musical also.

My 4th grader does karate and Cub Scouts but that's about it right now.

My little guy doesn't do much but likes soccer so when we can get it to work, he's done a park district soccer class.

We actually tend to get busier in the summer since most of their activities are right after school, etc... My DD likes to go to a summer music camp, this year she has lots of school overnight trips between drama club & choir.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

Its not to bad for us. My DDs are 3 & 4 and only do dance once a week. I don't like that its on Saturday mornings, but at least its early....

Theres a woman in my office, however, that is very involved with her church, and I swear is there 5-7 days a week. She has finally admitted that its getting to be to much for her - ya think!!! LOL I feel bad for her son. Yes, lots of the time hes there with her, but she is so busy doing other things, that they never get to spend any quality time together. Shes finally cutting back once the Christmas play (that shes directing!)ends.

 

[Mickeyluver37]

Yes, and it's only getting worse. DS is training indoors 4 days a week now for baseball, and it's not even baseball season, and he's TEN. Yes, of course we have the option of pulling him from the team, but then we'd be closing that door for him, and he'd have virtually no chance of ever playing in high school. Right now this is in addition to clinic basketball. He dropped out of scouts because there was no way to fit it all in. When baseball season starts, there will be times when we are staying in hotels for the entire weekend for tournaments.

DD does flags which is pretty much all school year long (practice 3 nights a week including Saturdays), but we just have to get her dropped off and picked up unless she has a game or competition. During football season, that is almost every Friday and Saturday. She also is in GS, and I am the cookie mom.

Of all of these things, the one that really pushes me over the edge is the GS cookies. I really don't mind it for the most part, although it was tough when I was working. We meet a lot of great people through our kids activities, and we still try to do as much as we can as a family. There are times when I would really like just one free weekend day to get stuff done around here though!

 

[golfgal]

For me it wasn't the running so much as it was the fact that so many activities expected you to stay for the entire practice--even for kids in middle school.

 

[mhsjax]

I mean things like running kids to: piano lessons, dance lessons, cub scouts etc, and things parents go to like helping at school, bible study, playing cards, fantasy football, volunteering, etc.. I've been trying to put my finger on why I've been so grouchy this year, and I think a lot of it is the constant running out the door to take the kids or myself somewhere. My mom was sometimes a SAHM, and I think it was easier back then, she actually stayed home!. We do limit our kids' activities to 1 or 2 per season, but w/ 3 kids of various ages it is still a lot of running around. I want to have more time together as a family but it does seem as if EVERYONE is in the same boat as us. I've decided to say no to activities that I can't do with at least some members of my family, and take a good hard look at the activities the kids are in. I just need to not care if every other kid in town is in everything and do what I feel is right for us. I think we need more family playtime, and the kids need more time to play with each other. Anyone else struggle with this?

Yes I do, I am in the same boat, 3 kids and they each do 1 or 2 activites. Like you I have given thought to cutting back, however my kids love these activites and I just don't feel right about taking them out of something that they love to do and something that gets them out of the house and moving, instead of playing video games. All of their friends are in the same boat, so if they stay here to "play outside" there really isn't one for them to play with. But I do understand where you are coming from.

 

[okeydokey]

We make a point of not running around like crazy. My son is in scouts, my daughter in the middle school band, and they are both in 4-H. The 4-H participates in lots of community service activities which we are glad to be able to take part in. We have maybe one night a week committed and then some weekends, that's it. My kids like to play with friends after school, read, play games, do crafts etc. I have friends that keep their kids so busy they never get that downtime because they have a scheduled commitment (or two or three) every weeknight and most weekends. That kind of schedule is just not right for my family.

 

[mhsjax]

For me it wasn't the running so much as it was the fact that so many activities expected you to stay for the entire practice--even for kids in middle school.

That would be hard, we aren't expected to stay for the entire practices.

 

[mjkacmom]

There isn't a single night without at least 2 activities, but usually more - love Sunday night dinners together. Ds6 is at Tae Kwon Do, dd8 has dance at 5:45, ds11 has basketball practice at 6:30, which he's missing for an audition, and dd13 has a performance with her concert choir at 7 - and this is definitely a light night!

Fridays are the worst - dd6 and ds6 have gymnastics at 4, dd8 has theater at 4, dd13 has voice at 4:30, ds6 has indoor soccer at 6, ds11 has travel basketball around 7. Most are not in the same towns! Then I head out for bunco at 8!

I do have to say, all of my kids are very passionate about most of the activities, especially soccer, baseball, irish dance, ballet, tae kwon do, and voice/theater. Sure gets expensive though, especially the privates!

 

[mjkacmom]

For me it wasn't the running so much as it was the fact that so many activities expected you to stay for the entire practice--even for kids in middle school.

Parents start leaving their kids at practice starting around second grade here! My DH coaches travel soccer, has for years, and didn't like when the parents stayed (but would've loved it if they actually helped out instead of watching!).

 

[Goofycampers]

Yes, we seem to spend most of the week driving. my 2Ds's are both on travel soccer teams. Practice is 2 times a week (45mins from our house) and then games most weekends. It's crazy busy sometimes. But they love it and I think it's been very good for them.

 

[mjkacmom]

You know, even though weekdays are crazy, activities help us stay together on weekends. For example, this fall, we had SIX games every Saturday (but usually only one on Sunday). Yep, we all (except dd13) drove from field to field, including the grandparents (3 soccer, 1 baseball, 2 flag football) from 9 am to at late at 9 pm. The kids would all play with other kids.