Anyone else have problems with getting child to do homework??

[JESW]

Here it goes again...

DS11 is in 6th grade and is an aspergers kid. They have been back to school since 8/28 and now the homework is starting. He has math to do (about 10 problems - not difficult) and he has a reading project due on thursday. We were out all day yesterday so we let the math slide until today. I told him all day what time the homework would begin. When the time came he was still in his room. He is out now and downstairs and having a major tantrum. We always go through this with him and homework. He has lost his gameboy and i-pod and needs to earn them back by doing the homework.

He was FINE until the homework came out. After all these years it is still SOOOOOO frustrating with him!! He should have been able to do his homework on his own years before this but either dh or I still have to sit nearby while he works or he will just go off and do something else (he is also borderline ADD) such as sharpening his pencil until it is a nub.

**********************************************************
20 minutes later....

DS just came up with his messy but finished homework - he did it all on his own and dh was just there with him. It seems that he has to completely flip out before he can settle down to do his work. ARGH!!!! This kid is going to do us all in...

Does anyone else go through homework hell every night like we do???

Jill

 

[mytwotinks]

I have found that if homework isn't done ASAP when dd gets home from school that there will be trouble. I used to think that she should have a break first, but honestly the work gets done in half the time when she comes home, has a snack at the table and then gets her homework out and complets it. If I ever make the mistake of letting her put it off I usually end up in a big fight with her about it. I just have to keep her in a routine and it goes pretty smoothe. Fridays are the most tempting for me to let her put it off, but we really do enjoy our weekends more when it isn't hanging over our heads!

 

[TinkerBess_SnowTori]

I agree with the above poster - we now do our homework right when we get home from school and then we can foget about it and have fun the rest of the night.

We didn't do it last year and I started strong this year and so far it has been working really well for us.

 

[tolookaa5]

My son is also 11 and in the 6th grade. I have been dreading school starting just for this reason. I have my children start their hw right after they get home from school and sometimes he is not done with it for 3 hours after that do to struggling, getting up to go the bathroom, seeing what everyone else is doing, or sharpening a pencil. Sometimes he will cry when I have to keep telling him to do his hw. I hope this year will get better. It hasn't been too bad yet. GL to you.

 

[AKLRULZ]

Homework is priority one in our house. If it's not done or if grades suffer because of not doing it then privlidges and activities are taken away. Fortunately, we don't have that problem here, but we also have a rule that homework must be done as soon as they get home with rare excpetion.

Good luck.

 

[Aidensmom]

My son in is kindergarten and at first had a HUGE problem with doing homework. He would say "I just did this all day!", and being that he is in school from 8:30-3:15, I honestly could see his point, it is only kindergarten.

However, I know he has to do it, so I put him on a reward system, and that has worked out well. I know your child is much older, but maybe some kind of incentive thing more age appropriate may help.

 

[MareQ]

Does anyone else go through homework hell every night like we do???

Jill

OHHH YES and it's not even "bad" yet. DS is 8.5 in 2nd grade(I delayed hs start of K) He has LD, we suspect ADD, sensory issues, speech delays(APraxia of Speech). He has resource room for Math and Language Arts and gets ST, PT and OT. He gets homework every night from is LA teacher and at least 3 nights a week for Math PLUS homework from his homeroom teacher and of course at home work from his Speech Therapist.

We break up his homework as much as possible - In the morning while waiting for the bus we will do his reading, at night after dinner we will do his spelling and before dinner we do math homework. Even by doing that it still take a long time, a lot of complaining and crying and some stern reprimands on our part. It's a source of much stress in our house.

Ironically enough - last year towards the end of the year we discovered that we could get him to focus and stay on task better if we scratched his arm while he was doing his work Whatever it takes....

 

[NAB]

My son is 9 and in the 4th grade. We have this struggle everyday. DH works night shift and sleeps during the day but knows when DS gets home because the fight is on. It has been this way since grade 1. We to make him do it right away. Sometimes I give in and we do it after supper but then he is to tired to do it. Nothing seems to work either, the games go, threats of going to bed early everything. Also have to stay close for him to finish. One minute he want you to leave him alone and as soon as we go he calls us back. I think we should have let him do it on his own from the begining but we sat with him when he did it and now we have to or it won't get done. I am not going to do that with the second one. I am glad I am not alone with this problem but I to don't know how to fix it.

 

[Lanshark]

I teach at a private school for kids with LDs. I have two kids with Aspergers in my class.

Talk to his teacher about the "homework wars". Hopefully the two of you can figure out a way for you to remove yourself from homework struggles. This can be done by the teacher coming up natural consequences if the homework is not turned in. Maybe he misses doing a particular activity the next day so he can do his homework during that time. I use this method and it works VERY well. It usually only takes a few days before the kids start realizing that they'd rather do their homework at home.

I will also say that I would talk to his doctor about the borderline ADD. His method of avoiding his homework sounds very typical of an ADD child. He may not be able to muster up enough concentration at the end of the day to do his homework.

 

[aprilgail2]

My daughter hates homework, she says she just sat in a classroom all day now why does she have to sit at home and do it there too. I don't make her do it right away since she just got finished sitting around and she needs to move around when seh gets home...plus she has activities 4 days out of 5 after school so once that is over, and dinner is done she will do some before a bath....if she doesn't finish then she just does it in the morning before seh goes to school. She doesn't have to get the bus until almost 9:00 so she has plenty of time in the morning to do it, eventually it all get done..its not worth it for me to fight with her to sit and do it when she gets home or all at once, as long as it is done before she has to hand it in the next morning.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Homework is done right away. I don't have the issues you do but I do have kids that don't want to do homework!

My 9yodd brought home homework this weekend and "her" weekend doesn't start till backpack gone thru, papers signed and homework is done.

I don't know what it is like for you, I can't even imagine so here are some {{{HUGS}}}....

 

[spazzyjazzy]

My son hates doing his homework. In elementary school his teachers let him get away with it. He would never fill out his agenda which was a requirement and they would sign-off on it everyday. So, I wouldn't know what the homework was every night. It would get me so upset. Now that he is in 7th grade it is much different. The teachers sign off in the agenda if the child has completed everything and has come prepared to class. If they do not then they have to go to afterschool suspenion or "study hall". The school calls it Sandtrap. He has been to Sandtrap 3 times and for 3 weeks he did not have any privileges to his game stuff or t.v. He was not taking me seriously at first. But, now he is getting better. I hope that it lasts. I have not had to fight with him about it for about a week now.

 

[rhanditresmom]

Welcome to the home of the original "homework battle of the all-stars!" My DS, 12 and in 7th grade, is the king of procrastination. As a matter of fact, he is sitting here next to me (yes, this is SUNDAY NIGHT!), doing his science CLASSWORK that was due on friday of last week! Sigh....he is banging his book, playing with the dog, irritating his sister, saying "MAN!!!" over and over! This is pretty typical. I have to stay directly on top of him in order for him to get his homework done. He thinks that when the teacher says she/he will drop the 2 lowest grades, that means he doesn't have to do the work.

Frequently we get tears and screaming. I hate homework and I hate being the "homework warden." He's a smart kid, perfectly capable of doing the work, but he is one of the WORST procrastinators I know. I don't know where he got it...surely not from me (she says, dripping with sarcasm )!!

Ok, now back to the battle.....

good luck with yours, by the way!

 

[Alison Wonderland]

After reading this thread I am thinking "Thank God I am not alone." I dreaded the start of school because I knew the battle would be on. (11yo boy, ADHD)
Homework hell is a good way to describe it and I don't know what am going to do when he gets older.

 

[lovesmurfs]

After reading this thread I am thinking "Thank God I am not alone." I dreaded the start of school because I knew the battle would be on. (11yo boy, ADHD)
Homework hell is a good way to describe it and I don't know what am going to do when he gets older.

AMEN. My ADHD DS 12 actually grew up this year now that he's in middle school -- they schedule study hall last period so they do their homework then (although over the years, I've learned to check to make sure it's done well).

My DD 7 is showing ADD signs (not much hyperactivity). She just (20 minutes ago) finished her math homework -- she was hyperfocusing on a spot on the wall......sigh. And thus it begins....

 

[katymae]

My dd7 threw a similar tantrum tonight. It doesn't matter how much planning I do, how much preparation I give her, how much I involve her in the decision making, when it comes right down to it she still FREAKS OUT!!

BTW, you might want to post this on the DISabilities board as well.

 

[disneychrista]

Home get done before anything else. My kids, 13 & 15 both go to the Boys and Girls Club after school. They do have 1 hour of homework time there each day, but they find it difficult to do it there because it is noisy. So when we get home, about 6pm, each day, it is in to rooms to do homework. No TV, No Computer, No Phone until it is done. They are also limited to no more then 30 mins of non-school related computer and 1 hours of TV each day.

I also request a progress report from school so I can see that homework is being turned in (a big issue for the 13yo). It is their responsiblity to bring this home each week. If they do not then they are grounded until the next week when they bring the progress report home.

 

[KerriSue]

I am so glad that Im not the only one with issues. I swear, I hate homework as much as my DS11. It is WW3 everytime he has it. He starts yelling at me if I ask questions or if I dont seem to understand his questions. Honestly, Id kill him if I home schooled the child. Thank God for teachers. He gets an hour of homework everynite and the boy can drag it out to 3 hours. I know its my own fault, Ive spoiled and spoiled him, he is just LAZY!!!!!!!

 

[golfgal]

I have found that if homework isn't done ASAP when dd gets home from school that there will be trouble. I used to think that she should have a break first, but honestly the work gets done in half the time when she comes home, has a snack at the table and then gets her homework out and complets it. If I ever make the mistake of letting her put it off I usually end up in a big fight with her about it. I just have to keep her in a routine and it goes pretty smoothe. Fridays are the most tempting for me to let her put it off, but we really do enjoy our weekends more when it isn't hanging over our heads!

Same at our house!

 

[believe]

My oldest (8.5) will do her homework, but through tears and complaining. I have gotten to the point that I just walk away and tell her she is on her own. I leave the room, usually to another floor. She will shortly follow after me wanting my help. I tell her 'No...you had your chance". I also remind her that homework is her responsibility not mine and she can face the consequences with the teacher the next day. The school has a system for discipline and it includes not turning in homework. The reason I won't help at this point is that she is still crying and complaining. After about 30min-1hr of this she calms down enough, does it on her own or asks me nicely to help her with a problem. At the end we discuss her actions and how it could have been better handled. Her teacher this year sends very little home. She allows time in class and as long as they get it done then no homework. This year has been better, so far.

My youngest (6), just does her work without complaints. I hope this continues.