Anyone else have a moody friend? - I NEED ADVICE PLS!

[florida-again]

I live with a girl who I would consider a very dear friend (I live with several others too). She is so sweet most of the time and we get along great

BUT SOMETIMES SHE CAN BE SO MOODY!!!!!

We went to the store together this evening and it was like going out with a sulky teenager. She answered everything with one word answers and kept snapping at me!

She does this A LOT! But only ever to those close to her. I find it odd, even if I'm upset about something I'm still polite and kind to people. But she really gets this 'whole world against me' attitude.

Does anyone else have a friend like this? How do you handle it? My BF is always telling me I should confront her when she behaves like this but I'm a 'nice' person and tend to be extra nice to try to appease her!

 

[Miller1412]

I have a friend just like that. We go away for girls getaway weekends, and by day 3, she wouldn't be speaking to anyone. For no real reason.

I used to try to appease her and dance around her, and then I figured, these vacations are too few to waste time on that nonsense. The other girls just continue on in our own conversations, and let her be who she is.

We love her dearly, and have learned to not take it personally. It's who she is, and it's not my job to change her. But I'm not gonna let it ruin a good time either!!

 

[Twinkles6892]

As a moody teenager, we want attention when we do that, so if you just ignore us, we'll stop, possibly the same is true with your friend?


(No one tell my mom what I just said)

 

[ChrisnSteph]

You guys all just described one of my best girlfriends to a tee! Very moody, don't know what you're gonna get kind of person. I love her, but I do grow weary of her attitude sometimes.

 

[x_Meggy]

Yup, I think everyone experiences someone like that at least once in their life. I'd say not to be too nice, but hey, that's just me. I mean, all of us go through (almost) the same amount of hardships right? And all of us have those days where nothing goes right. But the most of us keep it inside, and not take it out on other people. Those who get all moody-like are just a little...I don't know how to say this. Conceited? Kinda...Selfish? Kinda...but in reality they just want what they want, and so does everyone, right?

 

[Marseeya]

I was moody as a kid (a little bit as an adult too! ).

I didn't realize why I was that way at the time, but as an adult I know that I just needed to be left alone! I really need my alone time and when I was with my friends way too much, I'd start to get really moody. Ever since I figured that out, I never got nearly as bad because I was able to make sure I got enough alone time.

But who knows why people get the way they do? We're all different. Maybe you could just ask her if she wants to be left alone. Or as another poster mentioned, maybe she just wants attention, but if you leave her alone she'll quit.

 

[Goofyzgurl]

I had a friend like this too. She would just stop talking to us for no reason. After her birthday she just stopped talking to two of us. For no reason so I thought. Well, my other friend, who she wasn't talking to also,
found out why she wasn't talking to us. She wasn't talking to us because, WE DIDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER WHEN WE WERE LEAVING THE RESTAURANT! Plus she said that we were ignoring her during dinner. This is a girl who when we tell her what we want for our birthday gift, and it's her turn to go shopping, she'll only buy what she likes because "if she wants it then everyone else should want it too because she has good taste." This last time she stopped talking to me, I just had to let her go. I just got tired of the attitude and the selfishness. I just go tired of catering to her. Now we work at the same place, but it's a big enough place that I don't even see her if don't want to. I weighed what I was getting out of the friendship, and what I was giving to the friendship and it was grossly outweighed in her favor 99.9% of the time. Plus I didn't need the drama that came with having her as a friend.

 

[Miller1412]

I had a friend like this too. She would just stop talking to us for no reason. After her birthday she just stopped talking to two of us. For no reason so I thought. Well, my other friend, who she wasn't talking to also,
found out why she wasn't talking to us. She wasn't talking to us because, WE DIDN'T OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER WHEN WE WERE LEAVING THE RESTAURANT! Plus she said that we were ignoring her during dinner. This is a girl who when we tell her what we want for our birthday gift, and it's her turn to go shopping, she'll only buy what she likes because "if she wants it then everyone else should want it too because she has good taste." This last time she stopped talking to me, I just had to let her go. I just got tired of the attitude and the selfishness. I just go tired of catering to her. Now we work at the same place, but it's a big enough place that I don't even see her if don't want to. I weighed what I was getting out of the friendship, and what I was giving to the friendship and it was grossly outweighed in her favor 99.9% of the time. Plus I didn't need the drama that came with having her as a friend.

I think we have the same friend.

 

[Cantw8]

I think you need to share what was in your bag Did your mom give it back?

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd ignore her or I'd say in a very matter-of-fact voice "Oh, I see you're in one of your moods again. Cal me when you're in a better mood". Then I'd ignore her. And I wouldn't be so available when she was in a better mood.

She behaves thwe way she does because the people around her allow her to. When she gets moody, everyone probably asks her "what's wrong" or everyone dances around her trying to lift the mood. She's receiving positive reinforcement/attention by being moody, so it benefits her to behave that way.

If she was ignored, because "you seem to be in a bad mood so we left you alone" or not inivted to go out with her friends because "you seemed to be in a bad mood, so we left you alone", then eventually she would realize that her moodiness was no longer bringing her a positive gain, and was actually causing people to avoid her and therefore negatively impacting her. Then she'd stop being moody.

The key is to be matter-of-fact. Not angry, not whiney, not judgemental, not anything other than calm & matter-of-fact, as if this is a personality flaw of hers that you deal with when necessary by leaving her alone.

 

[florida-again]

I'm so glad it's not just me that has a friend like this. She's such hard work!
Recently we got internet in our house and for some reason hers didn't work.
Well she got such an attitude like it was everyone elses fault and moaned and whinged and wined!

BF was visiting that day and he got so annoyed he got up and walked out of the room!

 

[Texan Mouseketeer]

My friend would do the thing where she would sigh and act like something is the matter to try to get you to ask her what is wrong, then she'd answer, 'oh nothing...' with another huge sigh. She would like to drag it out so you'd be practically begging you to tell her. Of course, I caught on pretty quickly and would act like I couldn't care less about what was bothering her. So eventually she'd tell me anyway and I would act like I didn't want to hear it. She was all dramatic and moody and depressed all the time. I thought that she may be bipolar, but I eventually just ended the friendship because all the overdramatics wore me out.

 

[Disney1fan2002]

I live with a girl who I would consider a very dear friend (I live with several others too). She is so sweet most of the time and we get along great

BUT SOMETIMES SHE CAN BE SO MOODY!!!!!

We went to the store together this evening and it was like going out with a sulky teenager. She answered everything with one word answers and kept snapping at me!

She does this A LOT! But only ever to those close to her. I find it odd, even if I'm upset about something I'm still polite and kind to people. But she really gets this 'whole world against me' attitude.

Does anyone else have a friend like this? How do you handle it? My BF is always telling me I should confront her when she behaves like this but I'm a 'nice' person and tend to be extra nice to try to appease her!

Yes, my father's wife. I have a letter waiting to be mailed. We have decided, we don't need this in our lifes. I am too happy/carefree to be pulled down constantly by such misery.

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

I am the moody friend.

 

[zalansky]

I've got one of these too, and also I have a sister like this. It gets so exhuasting trying to figure out what crime you've commited to them to put them in the mood, or what the world has done to them this time. We all have our share of off days, but the drama these two create in my life at times is too much. As far as my friend, our lives have taken different paths, I have kids and am married and she is not in any relationship and has no kids, so we don't see each other alot anymore - so that has helped keep things on an even keel with us. And the sister, she lives in NY so I don't see her often either, but when I do, you can BET on the weirdness starting within a day or two of being here. ANNOYING!!!

The only advice I have is to distance yourself little by little, even though you live together this can still be done.