Anyone else have a goal higher than the "Normal" weight?

[JudyS]

Hi, all!

Last fall, I set myself the goal of losing 40 pounds in 6 months. It's been very hard at times (I had a thread a while back about all the problems I was having with dieting), but it looks like I'm going to make that goal. I have one week left in the 6 month period, and I've lost 39 pounds so far. The thing is, the height/weight charts say that I should be losing a lot more than 40 pounds. In fact, I'd have a way to go to even just be overweight instead of obese. I'd have to lose another 60 pounds to make it all the way to what the height/weight charts (or BMI charts) call "normal."

So, why did I set this high of a goal? Mostly, because I don't think getting all the way down to "normal" is realistic for me. I have always been quite heavy, even though I feel I have a healthy lifestyle. The top of the "normal" range for my height is less than what I weighed when I was 10 years old -- and I was shorter then! And, I just don't know anyone who has lost much more than 40 pounds through dieting and kept it off; none of the Weight Watchers members or leaders at my meeting have done that.

Other reasons that I've chosen this higher goal is that it is probably all I need to be healthy; my diabetes doctor told me in the past that I only needed to lose 40 pounds for my health and that the rest would just be cosmetic. Also, when people lose weight, their metabolism slows, even if they exercise and don't follow a "starvation" diet. This may be one reason why so many people gain the weight back -- they diet until they reach a point where their body thinks it's starving and fights desperately to get the weight back. I know that my body is fighting to hang on to every last ounce of fat, and I'm worried about just how low my metabolism will go. (The only time I managed to get down to the "normal" range, when I was a teenager, I had to give up because my body temperature dropped to 94.5 degrees.)

And, there is reason to think that the so-called "normal" range is really lower than what most women my age (I'm 45) need. Recent research suggests that the healthiest weight for middle-aged women may in fact be the so-called "overweight" BMI (body mass index) range of 25 to 30. The average women in her 40s has a BMI of 28, so terms of what's most common, it's actually the "overweight" range that is normal. At my goal weight, I'll have a BMI index of about 34.2, which is obviously above 30, but not by a huge amount. (Also, I am quite muscular, so the extra weight isn't all fat.)

So, I should be happy, because my goal is in sight. But, I feel weird because I don't know anyone else who has chosen a goal that is above what the height/weight or BMI charts say is "normal." I'm hoping to find other people who have chosen goals higher than a BMI of 25. I'm particularly wondering if anyone here does Weight Watchers and has set a goal higher than the height/weight charts. I brought in a letter from my doctor stating my goal weight (which is still in the obese range), and my local Weight Watchers accepted that as my goal, no problem. (I was really worried about that!) I'm wondering, though, what it will be like to be a "Lifetime Member" who is still fat! There are only 3 Lifetime Members in the Weight Watchers meeting I go to, and they are all thin, so I'll be quite different from them.

I'm also wondering if I should add the WISH Board "Goal" clippy to my signature once I've lost the whole 40 pounds. I'll be at my goal, but it's quite different from the goal suggested by the height/weight charts. Any thoughts on this?

 

[pjlla]

I have a few thoughts on this. Number one.... if YOU are happy with your goal and your weight is as a place where you are HEALTHY, then that is really all that matters. Don't worry about what others think.

My second thought is this..... Once you reach YOUR goal, work at maintaining it for a year or more (I have found maintaining is actually harder than losing!). Maybe in a year or two you will feel differently and will want to lose more. If so, go for it. If not, then maintain the status quo.

I do kind of disagree with what you say about losing "lots" of weight. I do know people who have done it and maintained it... including WW lecturers and other WW employees, plus just "regular" folks. But I admit, it is MORE unusal to find someone who has lost 50+ and maintained for many years. Just don't use that as an excuse to not lose more if you need to.

Congrats on almost reaching your 40 lbs. Doing it in six months is terrific!......................P

 

[tiggerlover]

Hi, Judy! First and foremost, congratulations on being a hair away from your goal, that is so FANTASTIC!!!!! You should be sooooo proud of your accomplishment!!!

I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I am a lifetime WW member whose personal goal was/is 10 pounds over the high end of what WW says I am supposed to be. My doctor actually set my goal weight at 15 pounds over what WW stated, but I decided that 10 pounds over is where I could maintain my weight. Would I like to weigh less, yes, could I weigh less, probably, do I want to starve myself to get there only to gain it back, NO! That is why I am at this goal instead of WW's goal. I have been maintaining this weight for almost 10 months now and I can live with this. I have gone lower before and ended up gaining the weight back and then some because the lower goal was not something I could live with. My BMI in the overweight category, but let me tell you, if I were to weigh 10 pounds less, what WW's high end says I should be, I would still be considered in the overweight range because I would sit with a BMI of 25, instead of the 26.3 that I am now. At age 37 I weighed 220+ pounds, wore a size 22/24, had high blood pressure and didn't exercise, I was in terrible shape. I am now 41, in the high 150's on a good day, wear a size 12, have normal blood pressure and work out at the gym 3x a week and I feel good.....I think that is what matters most.

I think what it all boils down to is where you are comfortable and what you are able to maintain. Who wants to loss tons of weight if you know you can't maintain it? I know I certainly don't want to. pjlla is right, maintaining is harder to master than losing, so be sure you chose a goal that is right for you. I look where I have come from and where I am now and I am so much better off where I am now. Will I ever be what people would consider skinny, no, but I am "normal", not fat, so that I can live with. So find what works for you and what you are comfortable weighing and maintaining, not what the mainstream makes us think we should be.

CONGRATS TO YOU!!

 

[moredisneyplease]

I agree with starting with weight maintanance! See how you feel after a few months and go from there. I personally feel that whats recommended for a 5'4 gal is too low of a weight for my body so I dont aim for that goal!

Good luck and do to you what your heart tells you!

 

[delilah]

Great work with getting so close to your goal. If you feel healthy, and your doctor agrees that you are healthy, you are fine. I would be glad to be as close as you are to your goal. It is not realistic for some people to be at the theoretical ideal weight, or even in the normal weight range. Good luck to you.

 

[disneychrista]

At 5'4" I should weigh about 120. But I set my goal at 135 because that is what I weighe at 18 before I got preganant with my now 17yo daughter. I will be at the high end of the "range" but this is where my goal has always been (for 17 years) to get back into the acid wash jeans that I wore back then.

However, right now I am stuck at 150, which is 15 pounds higher than my goal wieght.

Anyway...my only advice is to NOT stop doing what you have been doing that has gotten you to this point. Continue with your eating & exercise routine.

 

[JudyS]

Thanks very much for all of the responses! I definitely appreciate it.

Pjilla, I completely agree with you about trying to maintain for a year or so, and then trying to lose some more weight if I can. What I hope to do is maintain for the rest of 2008, and then re-evaluate. If maintaining hasn't been too difficult, I will try to lose another 10 pounds, and maintain that for the rest of 2009, then re-evaluate at the begining of 2010 and maybe try to lose a few pounds more.

I also definitely agree that maintaining is harder than losing. I've lost weight before (although never more than 45 pounds), but it always seems to come back on, even if I keep up most of my healthy habits. For example, I lost about 45 pounds 27 years ago when I first became a vegetarian. But, even though I stayed a vegetarian and have eaten vegetables as the bulk of my food (by weight) ever since then, that 45 pounds came back on, plus 65 more over the years. Most people's "natural weight" (the weight they'd be if they weren't trying to lose weight) increases until middle age, and then levels off. I'm hoping that my body is more-or-less through with the age-related weight gain, so that it'll be easier to maintain the loss this time. I still know that maintaining will require a lot of effort, though.

In terms of knowing people who lose a lot of weight and keep it off, we just must know different people! I've asked at my WW meeting, and no one there (members or staff) has lost and kept off more than 45 pounds. I asked on this board, too, and only got responses from two people who were currently down by 30 pounds or more and had been at that level for over a year. (Although maybe some people just stop posting here once they make goal.) I do read in the media about people who have lost 100 pounds or more through dieting, but only a few of them are people who have kept the weight off for long. At any rate, the media also feature stories about women who have twins at age 55 or guys who can run a mile in under 4 minutes, but most people aren't physically capable of those feats.

Tiggerlover and Disneychrista, nice to hear that I'm not the only person with a goal about the "normal" range! My goal is higher than either of yours, but at least I don't feel like the only one who isn't trying to get all the way down to where the "charts" say I should.

I do intend to keep doing what I've been doing, as you suggested, Disneychrista. In other words, I don't intend to stop exercising once I'm at goal, and I don't intend to really change the way I've been eating, either. (Although I hope I won't need to be quite so thorough about weighing, measuring, & recording everything I eat -- it takes a very long time.) But, what I've found as I've lost weight is that I keep needing to be more and more restrictive in order to keep the weight loss going. I've gone from counting calories to counting both calories and carbs, plus I've had to increase both the duration and intensity of the exercise I'm doing. I keep upping my effort level to get off of plateaus. I feel I'm reaching a point where if I increase my effort level anymore, it will be impossible to sustain in the long run, so I want to make sure I can maintain this level of effort before trying to lose more weight. I hope to keep posting here and let people know how it goes.

Thanks again to everyone who posted! I really appreciate it!

 

[delilah]

To offer you more encouragement, I want to assure you that I have been able to lose weight and keep it off for prolonged periods in the past, and I am hoping to do so again. I have lost a significant amount of weight three times in my life. Generally, when I gain weight, I don't remain at a high weight for a prolonged period of time (maybe 4-5 years at the most, and generally, less than 5 years). I have gained weight during times of extreme stress. I'll let you judge for yourself whether the times I describe are stressful. The first time I ever became the least bit overweight (over 136 lbs) was my first year of medical school. That time, I lost weight to a low of 103lbs, and maintained it until my first year of residency. During residency, I didn't cope with the stress terribly well, and gradually gained weight. My high weight when I started to lose weight about my second year in private practice was 165lbs, and I lost weight to 120lbs, and I maintained that until I adopted my son, who is now 10 years old. Due to stresses associated with my new son, and to stresses at work (for a time, we had trouble recruiting and keeping physicians in our practice, which greatly increased my stress), I gained weight, and this is the time that I lost the weight I have currently lost. There are things that I learned from my experience over the past several years. One is that I need alot of exercise to maintain my weight loss. When I was in college and medical school, I used to take the city bus, and I actually walked several miles a day to get to and from the university and my courses. Residency was a big change in activity level, because I didn't replace all that walking with aerobic exercise in a gym. Likewise, when I adopted my son, I quit the exercise program I was doing at the time. I always intended to start, but, didn't. Now, I know better. I never was a big eater, to be honest about it, but, I really don't miss bread, and if I don't eat bread, that is hundreds of calories a day that I don't consume and don't miss. But, that's just me--it won't work for everybody.

 

[believe]

In just the past week I have been trying to really understand what is 'realistic' for me. According to the charts I am currently overweight, probably by 2lbs, but it is still depressing when you see those words. In order to stay in the mid range for my height I must maintain a 1200 calorie diet and keep up the 5 day a wk exercise. This is not something I can maintain since I love food. What is frustrating is seeing the overweight but knowing you wear a size 6 pants, small shirt.

I really think it is all about being healthy and becoming comfortable with your body image. I am trying to figure out how I get to this point.

As for individuals who have lost a lot of weight and kept it off, I have several individuals at my work who have done it. Prior to kids, I lost about 60-70lbs and kept it off for 1.5yrs before becoming pregnant. I have gotten back down to that weight but have not been able to maintain it...I am 12yrs older now

I agree with others that once you get down to your goal, see how you feel and determine then what you want to do. It is all about Being Healthy!

 

[JudyS]

To offer you more encouragement, I want to assure you that I have been able to lose weight and keep it off for prolonged periods in the past, and I am hoping to do so again.....
The first time I ever became the least bit overweight (over 136 lbs) was my first year of medical school....
There are things that I learned from my experience over the past several years. One is that I need alot of exercise to maintain my weight loss. ....

Thanks for the post, Delilah. And, your weight loss is very impressive! Keep up the good work! But, I'm not sure my experience and yours are all that similar. Stress doesn't seem to be a factor in my weight; I generally lose weight when really stressed. I seem to be one of those people who was just born fat. I weighed 136 when I was, I dunno, around 9 years old, I think.

This is one of the things that really scares me about maintaining my weight loss -- the people who are able to keep weight off all seem so different from me. Every time I see a story in the media about someone who has lost a lot of weight and kept it off, the person always seems to say how they used to eat lots of cheeseburgers and fries, and not exercise, and they have kept the weight off by making lifestyle changes. The thing is, I was 100 pounds overweight even though I was exercising regularly and ate tons of fruits and vegetables. (The last time I ate meat was in 1981.) I don't really feel I've made many lifestyle changes, because I just couldn't find much to change. I have upped the exercise, that's true, and I agree completely that doing lots of exercise is vital, but I'm worried that I won't be able to keep it up. The usual recommendation of 30 minutes 5 times a week of moderate exercise is nowhere near enough for me; that's what I was doing back when I was 100 pounds overweight. I need more like an hour of vigorous exercise every day. I just hope I can keep that up for the next 30 or 40 years!

 

[JudyS]

In just the past week I have been trying to really understand what is 'realistic' for me. According to the charts I am currently overweight, probably by 2lbs, but it is still depressing when you see those words. In order to stay in the mid range for my height I must maintain a 1200 calorie diet and keep up the 5 day a wk exercise. This is not something I can maintain since I love food. What is frustrating is seeing the overweight but knowing you wear a size 6 pants, small shirt. ...

Well, I think this fits with what I was saying about the height/weight charts being just plain wrong. The current standard says a BMI of 25 or above is overweight, but that number was plucked completely out of thin air about a decade ago. There's no science behind it; it's completely arbitrary. Before 1997, the standard was that a person had to be above a BMI of about 27 (I think it was 27.4 for women, 27.5 for men) in order to be considered overweight. It sounds like your BMI is about 25.1. So, by the earlier standard, you could gain maybe 10 or 15 pounds and still not be overweight, depending on your height.

I have to say, I would give a lot to be just 2 pounds above the current cut-off for overweight. And to be a size 6! I'm looking at dieting and exercising pretty much every day for the rest of my life just to stay at "only" 60 pounds above normal.