Anybody have a tween with ADHD?

[frannn]

DD12 is set to start junior high this Sept. Had her CSE and transitional meeting today. She has ADHD and various delays. In addition to the agreed upon OT, PT, and co-teaching class, I requested bus transportation and an aftercare program with homework help for jr high. They told me this is not offered after grammar school at all (unless she attends a school that is not our local one). DD's neurologist's office is telling me differently. Are there any parents here who have insight on this? Our local jr high is 1.5 miles from the house, and she has issues due to her adhd, like trouble with directions and distraction issues. With regard to the afterschool care, we are currently paying OOP for a program in our local grammar school (which she is currently bused to). I would be ok with paying what we are now for an age appropriate program, if they could get her there & arrange for hw help. Her meds are only effective for a limited time each day, so she would need hw help before DH and I are home from work. I prepared a letter stating need and gave a dr's note expressing multiple learning disabilities to substiate my requests. Should I continue to try to fight for this, or is it a forgone conclusion?

 

[Tiffylv]

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[queenofthehive]

I think I might have misunderstood the question - is this about after school care and help for homework during after school care? My answer below is for the time during school hours. I kinda think the homework time would be the parents responsibility. Interested in reading others suggestions...

You need to discuss a 504 or IEP plan with the school. You need to ask for this plan. The school will not openly volunteer this information. Start by reading this: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/711.html The most importance sentence in the entire article is that parents must be assertive.

 

[misse336]

This must be a regional/state thing. I am a former elementary teacher and my husband is a current ms teacher. I have never heard of a school providing after school care for any child, even a child with disabilities.

Here the school is responsible to make sure that your child is educated during school hours and that the correct accommodations are made for your child during the school day. In your child's case that may mean a decreased amount of homework due to her shorter attention span, a study hall at the end of the school day to start her homework, teachers giving her the assignments in advance so she can work on them over a weekend when school is not in session or a longer time to complete her homework - these would all be spelled out in her IEP. Once the school day is over, any after school care and completion of homework is the responsibility of the parent where I live. Maybe it is different where you live though?

Maybe if you post your question on the disabilities board you may have parents with experience with this issue that are able to respond about what their school has done. Maybe if you post what area you are from too they may be able to help you better.

 

[CAFarmerGirl]

This must be a regional/state thing. I am a former elementary teacher and my husband is a current ms teacher. I have never heard of a school providing after school care for any child, even a child with disabilities.

Here the school is responsible to make sure that your child is educated during school hours and that the correct accommodations are made for your child during the school day. In your child's case that may mean a decreased amount of homework due to her shorter attention span, a study hall at the end of the school day to start her homework, teachers giving her the assignments in advance so she can work on them over a weekend when school is not in session or a longer time to complete her homework - these would all be spelled out in her IEP. Once the school day is over, any after school care and completion of homework is the responsibility of the parent where I live. Maybe it is different where you live though?

Maybe if you post your question on the disabilities board you may have parents with experience with this issue that are able to respond about what their school has done. Maybe if you post what area you are from too they may be able to help you better.

Same at my school district in CA; parents are responsible for their children after school hours.

 

[kymom99]

I understand your homework concerns. I have had children who do not get home until well after their medications have worn off. Their parents would tell me that by the time they get them, there is no hope of getting homework completed. They have to rely on the daycare for this. By middle school, most kids are not accepted into after school daycares. The school would not be responsible for providing this, at least not where I am. It sounds like you might need to hire someone to work with your child after school. I do think that you may prevail on the transportation issue if you are persistent.

 

[lanejudy]

Does the jr. high school offer any transportation to any students? In some states, 1.5 miles is considered walkable for that age as long as there are sidewalks, traffic lights, etc. But this is probably the one area of your argument where you may prevail, if it can be documented that she is not safe walking. If they have buses, you should be able to arrange that her after-school bus ride is to a childcare program presuming that program is located within the busing district. However, you likely need to arrange for the afterschool program yourself, as well as any homework help. In my state, 12 yrs old is considered "old enough" that they no longer qualify for most traditional afterschool childcare programs. DD's school only provides minimal homework help, and only 2 days a week during a tutoring program offered. If you've been getting afterschool care and homework help through her IEP/504 in the younger grades, consider yourself lucky!

On a more positive note...it's great that you are working on her transition plan now. There is time to iron out the wrinkles, and get started on plans you may need to make due to the school change. Try thinking outside the box -- are there any sports or clubs she might be interested in? Music lessons that could be scheduled after school? A neighborhood high school student (or more than one for different days) who could help her with homework at home? Does your church offer any youth programs? Is there a neighbor with younger children who might appreciate a "mother's helper" after school?

Maybe you can start working with her now to learn the walking route. Drive it with her, talking about the street names. Look at a map and mark it with a highlighter. Practice walking it on Saturdays and/or Sundays -- every week from now through the summer. Walk with her at first, then gradually have her meet you at certain points along the route. Make it fun, give her rewards for progress. And by this summer try to find another couple of kids from your neighborhood who will also be walking home from the same school and they can all walk together as a group.

Good luck!

 

[Tiffylv]

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[clori]

My dd attends a k-8 school. For grades k-5 there is an afterschool program which parents pay for and doesn't do drop in at all. Parents agree to set days that can't be changed. Basically it is considered onsite babysitting. The program does snack time then homework time. Since many teachers are still at school at times students who need help beyond what the staff can provide they do go see teachers during drop in extra help time.

For grades 6-8 there is a special program (basically a latch-key program) for kids Mon thru Thursday. I think it is grant funded and cost about $25 every 3 months. Parents have to sign kids up for at least 2 set days a week. The program does include snack time and homework time. I know they try to help with basic homework questions or kids go see teachers since they are in the school.

I don't think either program provides 1 on 1 homework help beyond a few minutes here/there. Homework time is a set time. After that there are various activities. My kids have never done either program but I do think they ask if parents have iep/504 plans they wish to share and if wanted and approved by parents staff can talk to kids teachers. Basically kids get 10-15 minutes to hang out and have a snack then 30 minutes of dedicated homework time.

In grades k-5 parent/guardian needs to pick child up. For grades 6-8 parent/guardian can pick the child up outside or the child can walk, ride a bike, take a bus etc. Basically since it isn't babysitting its up to parent/child to decide.

 

[HopperFan]

Lived in two states dealing with school special services, and have never heard of any assistance beyond school hours. Kids that age either ride the bus home where there is someone hired to be with them or they go to programs that come to the school to pick them up or some are picked up by hired drivers and taken to a program. Students that are classified get busing to/from home IF they attend a program within the specified district. (I drove my DS to high school the last few years because they changed our specified district and I refused to move him.)

I'm not clear, are you saying that all of the students who live 1.5 miles from school get themselves to school and there is no bus system?

If you can't find a program maybe look for a college student who would be willing to be at your home with her and help with homework, especially one studying in a related field OR maybe a high school student if they get out in time.

 

[frannn]

I currently pay for my DD's aftercare. I don't have an issue continuing to do so. There are no programs locally for after school that will accept her after 12 years old...except one that is in the same town but not walkable, considered a different district, and generally for the younger kids. Part of her issues is that she is very immature for her age, so she's more comfortable with younger kids. It would be considerably less stressful for her (and us) to continue the busing through the school if we can get them to allow it. Her issues, while mostly ADHD, are more extensive and more global than just that. It is important for her to complete homework while the medication is working, with help from an individual who understands the course content. That's the challenge. I'm hoping to touch base with other parents in my situation to find out how they handle this, but I don't know anyone with similar issues. I have 2 older DDs who attended the same school and either I drove them or they walked, but they were equipped to do so. Unfortunately, they are unable to participate in transport and hw due to time constraints.

 

[MomToOne]

In elementary, in our district, parents have to pay for the after school programs. And they aren't cheap ($400-500/month although there were subsidies for low-income families)

Then interestingly, in Middle School, her school had a completely free program I think it was because they had a larger population of "at risk" kids - but anyone at the school could participate in the program. They had a study hall period (staff helped them with it if needed although it probably wasn't the level of help you would need), followed by other guided activities. They even gave them a free snack and "dinner", although DD wouldn't eat it (which was fine since we had dinner at home). They kept the kids from the time school got out, until up to 6pm. It was FABULOUS. But I know other schools in the same district did not offer any sort of after school program. At her school, it was funded via a special state grant. They didn't advertise it a lot, I only found out about it after we went to orientation the day before 7th grade started. I was glad it existed, since our district does not offer busing after elementary school - kids are expected to take the city buses , which I'll just say is NOT an acceptable solution in our area. With DD in the program, I could just pick her up after work on my way home.

So it may very well be that in your district as well, after school programs are offered only at certain schools. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't fight for what your child needs - good luck!

 

[crisi]

I currently pay for my DD's aftercare. I don't have an issue continuing to do so. There are no programs locally for after school that will accept her after 12 years old...except one that is in the same town but not walkable, considered a different district, and generally for the younger kids. Part of her issues is that she is very immature for her age, so she's more comfortable with younger kids. It would be considerably less stressful for her (and us) to continue the busing through the school if we can get them to allow it. Her issues, while mostly ADHD, are more extensive and more global than just that. It is important for her to complete homework while the medication is working, with help from an individual who understands the course content. That's the challenge. I'm hoping to touch base with other parents in my situation to find out how they handle this, but I don't know anyone with similar issues. I have 2 older DDs who attended the same school and either I drove them or they walked, but they were equipped to do so. Unfortunately, they are unable to participate in transport and hw due to time constraints.

Our district merely gets you to their boundaries. If she needs to get farther than that, they can't help.

 

[barkley]

I've not known an iep/504 to continue after school either, and as far as transporting her my only experience w/ iep/504 and transportation only deals with the transportation that is provided to and from the student's assigned school. they might be transporting now b/c her current school has an agreement with another school for after school care so it's considered part of her current assignment.

reading through your post i'll suggest a few things, and also suggest you check on a couple (I have a son, now in high school. he has adhd, was on meds for years, was diagnosed 3 years ago as being on the autism spectrum and after about 1 1/2 years of receiving asd therapy both individual and group can manage his adhd such that he no longer needs meds).

1. after school program-it might not even be an option for your dd to attend depending on daycare licensing laws in your state. I taught in after school programs (another state than I live) and we were VERY restricted age/grade wise on who could participate. so despite what the neurologist says it may be that the school district has no legal right to extend enrollment to a junior high student. I understand the comfort level w/younger kids issue too-ds is still very much that way, but he's had to learn to adjust to being around kids his own age because the reality for him is in order to learn socialization and age appropriate behaviors he needs to be with his peers not with younger kids where the behavioral expectations are lower and he gets reinforcement that how he's behaving/interacting is acceptable (it's not-the way kids 12 and under behave is not how kids his age behave/adults expect them to behave and him thinking he can continue on with that behavior just isolates him more).

2. transportation (for whatever afterschool arrangements you make)-if school bus isn't available do you have a public transportation system? the bus system here has a door to door van that's available to people (including minors) who have a medically documented need. since my ds gets confused with radical changes in schedule (so a missed public bus can be a major problem) we can arrange for $1.50 to have him picked up at one location and dropped at another (if it's a regular thing they can calendar him out weeks at a time).

3. homework-when ds was on oral meds for adhd he had the same problems with the crash and boom after the meds wore off w/not being able to get homework done. ds gets shorter homework assignments than his non 504/iep classmates, he also has 1 period per day of 'study skills' during which he's in a quiet environment to work strictly on his homework-and there's staff available for help if he needs. honestly-the greatest godsend to ds and homework was when he was able to go off oral meds on onto a medical patch (daytrana). I was able to put one on him an hour before he got up in the morning so it was already working when he woke, and it didn't stop working until an hour or so after it was removed (which we timed out to do AFTER he got his homework done).

 

[danygirl]

It does not matter that your child is more comfortable with younger kids, programs for younger kids will not take her because younger kids parents don't want older kids there

Have you considered an au pair? The au pair would live with you and could pick her up after school, supervise homework and activities .

You may be able to find an au pair who is a teacher in her country

 

[lauradis]

Does the school have any after school tutoring programs?

Like big buddy's, Quest, homework hour.

1. Find a local high/college school kid studying/interested in special ed, or education and pay them to help with homework/ babysit.

2. contact Special ed schools in your area and ask. My son (MH student) was in aftercare program in different school district. We put the aftercare in his IEP so school was required to provide transportation to aftercare and home.

3. Home school, No home work there.

 

[aaarcher86]

I currently pay for my DD's aftercare. I don't have an issue continuing to do so. There are no programs locally for after school that will accept her after 12 years old...except one that is in the same town but not walkable, considered a different district, and generally for the younger kids. Part of her issues is that she is very immature for her age, so she's more comfortable with younger kids. It would be considerably less stressful for her (and us) to continue the busing through the school if we can get them to allow it. Her issues, while mostly ADHD, are more extensive and more global than just that. It is important for her to complete homework while the medication is working, with help from an individual who understands the course content. That's the challenge. I'm hoping to touch base with other parents in my situation to find out how they handle this, but I don't know anyone with similar issues. I have 2 older DDs who attended the same school and either I drove them or they walked, but they were equipped to do so. Unfortunately, they are unable to participate in transport and hw due to time constraints.

We deal with this. My oldest, while younger than yours has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum among other things. The daycares aren't going to allow her, regardless of immaturity if she's over the age allowed. I'm sure you can imagine other special needs kids would ask for the same, maybe even older. Allow one and you need to allow them all.

Your school IEP/504 doesn't work outside of school. Obviously, you're willing to pay for after school care (and you're on your own with that). Have you looked into tutors like Huntington Learning Center and Sylvan? That may be your only option aside from hiring an in home helper - someone to help with homework at home. It's possible an accommodation you could ask for is that homework for the week can be turned in the following Monday, so you can help your daughter with the homework during the day over the weekend. Not ideal, but sometimes that's the only way it goes.

I really don't have any great advice for you. It sounds like you know what you need to set up, but there's nothing that really fits entirely what you're looking for. Nothing will magically change that. It's a tough place to be in. I work from home, so we do homework when my daughter gets home immediately, but even then her medicine is already worn off. It's always a battle. We have an extender pill for a little extra time with the medicine being active - maybe ask your doctor about something like this?

 

[mjkacmom]

I think this is on you, OP. Ds16 takes a mini pill after school, to get him through practices and homework. We have no busing in our town, so my kids walk the mile to and from the middle school and high school. Can she walk with friends? Dd18 is directionally challenged, and we were a little worried about having her find her way to and from middle school (she's lived here her entire life, town is only 3 miles), but she managed.

She still needs to use the GPS to drive anywhere, even here in town. She only knows one way to get to point A to point B. Our dentist is 1.5 miles away, she's been going twice a year since age 3, and she had to GPS it in the car (graduated at the top of her HS class, but this is a real issue for her).

Does your dd have GPS on her phone? Can you hire a college student with a car?

 

[MinnieForMe]

Check out your local Boys and Girls Club. They normally have an after school program with bus pickup and homework help through the teen years.

If you are working on her IEP now. I second the suggestion to make sure she has accommodations on the amount of homework. Our teachers wouldn't comply with my son's IEP (yes, against the law) and it was a constant fight but I hear that other school districts are better.

Sample Accommodations that helped in High School but should have been addressed in Middle School:

Shortened writing assignments.

Fewer math problems (less is best with ADHD kids) as long as they prove that they can master the problems.

A skills class that focuses on executive function issues. ADHD kids struggle in Middle/High School often because the organizational help they received in elementary school stops because the child is expected to become more and more independent with homework, projects etc. This results in trouble with organizational skills, deadlines etc.. The following accommodation was a life saver for my son:

Teachers will break long-term assignments into benchmarks with due dates.

A check in is huge at this age to make sure they are on task with projects, homework etc..

I could write a book but I know that accommodations are not what you asked about!

Good luck!

 

[3boymthr]

We dealt with almost this exact same problem thru elementary, Jr. High (like middle school only fewer grades, just 7 & 8) and now in to high school for middle DS, the only difference being my child did not need after school care as I get home from work a short time after he gets home. Homework is and has been a major issue as the medication wears off shortly after school ends and it is the only medication he can take as a result of contraindications.

Does she have an IEP or a 504? We found that different accommodations are provided dependent upon the type of disability write up the child has. (Oldest DS had a 504 only for ADHD.) Middle DS has both moderate IDD (a form of ADHD) and learning disabilities not a result of the IDD so he has both and IEP and a 504. Our school system does not and will not provide after school care for an ADHD child under either the 504 or the IEP. The parent is responsible for providing this HOWEVER; they do provide homework club for all students where they are free to seek help as needed. This last for 45 minutes after school ends. Transportation home is the responsibility of the parent - though with special request and proven need the student can take the late bus.

A big accommodation that he receives is thru his IEP where during the school day he has a directed study hall. He goes to a special class where there is a special resource teacher who reviews all his homework that he has so far for the day or left over from the day before, sits with him to make sure he has the resources he needs to complete the work and gets him started on getting the work done. This is a small group classroom generally with about 5-10 kids depending upon the school year. This year his class only has 4 kids in it. This takes the place of a normal study hall. ETA this class makes a huge difference. He generally only comes home with one or two pieces of homework a week.