Anybody ever had a problem with a teacher who called parents too often?

[ryanpatricksmom]

This year at back-to-school night one of DS's teachers let us know that she called parents frequently. I appreciate being notified regarding problems, so I thought, "Great!"

In practice, this is not so great. I have received 5 phone calls, one of which I would have considered valuable. Today she called to let me know that DS took one of his shoes off in class. Now, I'm concerned with this on two levels. First, it's gotten to the point that I roll my eyes when she calls, and I'm not sure what to take seriously. Secondly, if she reports every infraction that occurs within the classroom to the parents it seems as if it would diminish her authority with the students. I would expect a call if she had told DS to put his shoe back on and received a smart-mouthed response, but if she told him to put his shoe back on and he did it...tattletale comes to mind.

I've never encountered this before. DS is in the 6th grade, so he has certainly had a number of teachers ( and he currently has 7) with a variety of personalities.

I really don't know how to respond to her calls at this point. Anyone else ever have this problem?

 

[mrsapalm]

6th Grade??? And this teacher is calling you??? Is it during the day or in the evening? This is way too much, she's going overboard. You would think she would have better things to do. I would talk to the Principle and put a stop to this.
-MrsAPalm

 

[ennazus]

How about turning the tables on her somewhat? Next time she calls to tell you that ds took off his shoe (or some other lame reason) ask her if she thought that this incident required disciplinary action at home? Just to get her reaction. To try to feel her out as to WHY she is calling you with this information. This is rather strange.... please keep us posted as to what happens in the future. Good Luck!!!

 

[CBRorBust]

Okay a few questions...

I know you said that your son told you he put it back on when she did, but why did he take off his shoes to begin with?

Also, when she called did she give a reason for the call? Like, "today in class your son took off his shoes and was disrupting my class" Or did she say, "today your son took off his shoes in my class, just thought I'd call to let you know"

If she just called to let you know, then yeah, I think she has way too much time on her hands! Is she a new teacher? Sometimes they do that. I also think your right about it diminishing her authority in her class if everynight she calls mommy and daddy. At 6th grade this shouldn't have been an issue for her to call home about.

Good Luck this year!

 

[ryanpatricksmom]

Yep, she actually had Ryan call to tell me that he took his shoe off in the class, and then got on the phone to drive the point home. She made no mention of disrupting the class, nor did she suggest that he didn't put it right back on. He said that he took it off because it was bothering his foot.

So, not only do I have the teacher on the phone( who I think is acting a little silly) I have my 11 year old listening in, so I have to choose my response very carefully.

Most of the other calls have been because DS has been a minute late for her class. He has gym before her class, and apparently a number of kids are not getting changed and to their next class in time. Unfortunately Ryan is the only one in her class. In the conversation that I had with her most recently, she suggested that Ryan should request a hall pass from the gym teacher each time he anticipated arriving late. Now that's all well and good, but I think that he would arrive to class even later, and he would have to know that he was not going to make it on time. It would seem like, since they both teach at the same school, that maybe she could mention the problem to the gym teacher. Instead she chooses to give Ryan lunch detention, calls me (with DS listening) so that I can attempt to correct the problem, and the problem continues (there's really not a whole lot that I can do besides urge him to try harder). I need to contact the gym teacher to see if I can get some help from that end. He makes it to every other class on time, so I don't think he's deliberately poking along.

 

[A kid at heart]

Are any of the other parents in class having this same problem with her? I think you're handling it a lot better than I would. I'd end up getting annoyed. Whats the big deal if he took his shoe off? As long as he wasn't walking around with it off in the classroom and he put it back on whats the problem? she sounds like a looney tune.

 

[vickyBaby]

Documentation is key here. Document everything. Every phone call. Anything that is sent in writing to you or given to your child. Then compose a letter to the Principal and send a copy to the Superintendant of Schools indicating what is going on. Request the Principal give you guidance in finding a way for your son to get to class on time and request a meeting with him if that will help resolve the situation.

Compose another letter to the gym teacher. Indicate how your son is unable to get to his next class on time and how can he assist your son. Copy the teacher, the Principal and the Superintendant of Schools on the letter.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well my dd is in 6th too. She has a problem with getting from band to her last class.Soooo if she gets a detention this quarter I will be at her school during her classes to "see" the problem first hand. Anyway that is my "plan". DD knows this and has had a sudden improvement.
I could see that being late to class is annoying the teacher and she is "picking" on your kid. She offered your son a solution with the hall pass. It sounds as if this may be a good solution to the problem.
Good Luck

 

[allicat]

Well, maybe she is calling repeatedly to cover herself in the event your son earns a bad progress report or poor grade for behavior on his report card.
Often times, angry parents will confront the teacher and say they were never told of their childs bad behavior until they saw the poor mark for behavior on their kids report card or on a progress report. If the teacher calls and updates you with what is happening in calss, a parent cant say they werent told.
Maybe she feels your son has alot of potential and just isnt working up to it. I think she probabaly has your childs best interest at heart but is going a bit overboard.

 

[ryanpatricksmom]

I decided to call the Guidance Counselor today.

Without pointing fingers, I let him know about the tardiness problem, and the teacher's method of dealing with it. I asked him to contact the gym teacher to see if the kids could enter the locker room a minute or two earlier. Hopefully that will solve the problem!

Ryan does feel as if the teacher does not like him due to the continued detentions. While I don't think that this is the case, I let the guidance counselor know that he is feeling that way. It's a little early in the year for hard feelings, and like most things in life compromise is probably due from both sides. I really don't want to involve the administration, so we'll try approaching it with help from the guidance department.

Thanks for the suggestions!

 

[Kermit]

When I first saw the title of the thread, I thought that it was impossible for the teacher to call too much. I was wrong. There's no reason for a teacher to call and say that a 6th grader took his shoe off. If he was in kindergarten and she was having a problem getting him to keep his shoes on, then she'd be justified by calling. But this is rediculous. I wore loafers all through jr high and high school so that I could take my shoes off during class (I wore socks), and no one ever even said anything to me, much less called my mom.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Tell her the best way to get a hold of you is via e-mail. This way you have documentation of your "conversations" which you can always print out and show to her superiors if it gets out of hand. No he said, she said problems.

 

[CookieGVB]

I'd have asked her why she wants Ryan to get a hall pass, and be 5 or more minutes late, rather than being 1 minute late on his own. If she still insists, then he's going to be later, because he has to ask the gym teacher for a pass each time. If the reason he's late is because he's goofing around in the locker room, I'll bet the gym teacher won't give him a pass, and then he can deal with the consequences...

I can't imagine a reason for calling about removing his shoe unless a) 15 of his classmates passed out when he did; b) he used the shoe to cause a ruckus; c) he wrote a note on the shoe and passed it to a friend; d) he refused to put it back on his foot when she asked him to (you know, hygiene reasons and all that)

But, geeeeeezzzz...my son's in 6th grade, and I thank goodness none of his teachers has shown this type of loopy behavior!

Good luck.

 

[peg2001]

I'm so sorry but this is funny. How about responding in the following fashion the next time she calls:

"Omigosh!! You are kidding! He did WHAT?? Well, I just want to reassure you that we do NOT have these sorts of problems at home at he will be severely punished when he gets home. Just wait until his father gets home. He is going to be so angry that you had to call us again."

Maybe this would get it across to her that she is over reacting.

On a similar note, however, my 5-year-old daughter got a discipline card during her first few weeks of kindergarden for hugging another little girl when they won a classroom game. Apparently, this violated the "keep your hands and feet to yourself" rule. I had to restrain my husband from calling the school and raising bloody murder. It is especially funny to me because the teacher occasionally rewards the kids for good behavior by giving them a hug.

Peggy

 

[J&D]

maybe she is calling repeatedly to cover herself in the event your son earns a bad progress report or poor grade for behavior on his report card.

As a teacher, I feel that this is probably the case to some extent. Remember that secondary teachers deal with hundreds of parents each year, and each parent will have different expectations of their kid's teachers. For example, yesterday I received an email from a parent of a student who made B's on her report card. The parent now wants all of her daughter's teachers to notify her directly when the girl makes lower than an 85 on anything. IMHO, that is a bit much, but that is what that particular parent expects. Some parents don't want to be notified of anything, and other parents expect to be notified of everything.
In the age of increasing lawsuits, teachers are doing more to cover themselves. At my school, we are EXPECTED to keep in close contact with the parents. I taught at a HS where we had to make AT LEAST 30 calls/month, and we had to turn in a list of those calls made at the end of the month.

she suggested that Ryan should request a hall pass from the gym teacher each time he anticipated arriving late

At my school, we do not count them tardy if they come in with a pass. Maybe she suggested this so she wouldn't have to count him tardy. I have done that before.

 

[Tinkbell]

I call my parents when there is a major problem. I consider these things major problems: Showing disrespect to me or causing physical or emotional harm to other students. I also call parents if there is an academic concern or sickness or injury during the day. I teach first grade and there are certain students who like to slide their shoes off. I ask them to put them back on. Nobody has ever fought me on it. I certainly would not report this to parents. I think if you call home with negative reports too much, the parents will probably tune you out.

If you get any more "tattle tale" reports, nicely ask the teacher how that incident interrupted the education or safety of her students. Good luck with her.

 

[snoopy]

What I don't get is why does she have Ryan listening in on the phone call? Is this the norm? I can seen where you would have to temper your response, I know I'd be tempted to tell her to do her job and not bother calling me for anything as trivial as the boy taking his shoe off. I'm all for teachers involving the parents, but this does seem to be a tad bit extreme.

We had an overzealous kindergarden teacher that called all the parents of boys on a daily basis. As time went on, I discovered that she just preferred the girls over the boys. There was no question in my mind by the time the school year had ended that she didn't like my child, and apparently I wasn't the only parent of a boy who thought that way.

Good luck getting this resolved.

 

[BrerMom]

What I don't get is why does she have Ryan listening in on the phone call? Is this the norm?

This is encouraged in some districts as a way to avoid having the kid telling mom a different story than the teacher.

She's probably just covering herself from the many parents who say, "and why wasn't I contacted sooner?" And I know we get more kudos the more parent contacts we make per month.

You "normal" parents have no idea what some parents expect. I have over 150 students, but the things I'm asked to do would blow your mind. Last year, I had to (yes, it was required) write a review sheet of basics for every single day of second semester for one particular student. Mom agreed to make sure they were completed, she was to return them, and I was to correct them for him. Mom never returned ONE worksheet. Since it was in the IEP, I had to keep sending them home or Mom made it very clear that she would sue anybody that didn't comply. It's a good thing I saved copies of the worksheets, because I have a regular-ed parent this year who wants the same thing.

 

[SonjaB]

Your son's teacher must have one heck of a well-behaved class if this is the best she can do for a discipline problem. I would congratulate her on having such easy students.

My son was "written up" in the cafeteria for giving his ice cream to another student. Now, I understand the reasoning for not sharing food, possible allergies, etc, but I think merely saying "Zach, we can't share food" would've been sufficient seeing as the child's heart was in the right place rather than writing him up and sending the writeup home for me to sign ( ) as if he was being disruptive and making him feel bad. I've spent 10 years teaching this child to share and now I think he's wondering why.

 

[disneyelaine]

I did not know you could not share cafeteria food anymore! Makes sense with germs and all, but as a kid I remember sharing and giving away food daily. There was always the boy who would take ANYTHING you weren't going to eat.

Sorry I know this had nothing to do with the OP.