Anybody else dreading the start of school?

[JenJen]

I have noticed a couple of posts involving children with ADD. I was curious if any of you with ADD children have had your child tested for Sleep Apnea. Most symptoms of ADD are symptoms of Sleep Apnea as well, and it is easily corrected in younger children with the snipping of tonsils and/or adnoids. Just a little info that I found out when going through the Sleep Apnea testing for myself......

Both of my kids have not been tested for apnea but they both do not snore at all.
I know a lot about apnea because I have it and there are two types obstructional and Nuerological. Although it can cause some attention problems it is not even near the amount of problems a child with ASD has. I wish I could stick a CPAP machine on my DS and DD and all of there problems would disapear but it just is not a realistic expectation. Altough I thankyou for your intrest in helping those with ASD it is not so simple. (I wish it was)
JenJen

 

[spoon full of sugar]

Reading through this thread, I have noticed alot of the same behavioral issues with school that my son has, takes forever to do homework, forgets to turn it in ,even though he has it, just has alot of trouble focusing on things he 's not into. Although he can spend hours taking electronics apart and building new machines ? I have never had a teacher suggest he may have ADD or anything like that though, they just say your DS piddles, he doesn't focus etc. Though the way our school system works, they put all the magnet schools in the worst neihborhoods, so, even with his problems he is still one of the better students, and of course the teachers don't have any extra time for him,since they are dealing with the children of drug addicts and such, NO kidding. Any way since you all are obviously experienced with these types of problems do you have any advice? I don't know if I can deal with another year of this, he's going into middle school this year at the advanced and gifted school. They call it COLLEGE PREPORATORY MIDDLE SCHOOL , no thats not pretencious, someone help me!

 

[Lives4Disney]

Spoon Full of Sugar - I am sorry I can't be of any real help. I am in the same boat with my son on a 504 plan for ADD, but it isn't REALLY helping him too much. He barely scraped by in middle school and is now starting HS in about a week. Our family suffers during the school year.

I just had to reply because your son sure sounds a lot like mine! My son is the same way with the electronics and is very mechanical & computer oriented. In 6th grade, they had these complicated graphing type calculators and he got up and explained to the whole class how to use them! Even the "teachers pet" kids didn't understand them until my son showed them. He is awesome at computer games & other things like that, too.

We had my son tested by the school in 1st grade as they were the ones that said there were issues for them. Teachers didn't have the patience to deal with him and the time to keep him on track. I went for a little conference and was shocked at his 1st grade teacher's animosity and anger toward him. She told me (and I still remember her righteous confidence in how she handled him)he was building a log cabin with his crayons and went over to his desk, knocked it over & yelled at him "time out in the corner!" She admitted to yelling at him. She was proud of herself! There was so much more, I went home and felt like I was going to throw up. I didnt' realize how drastically "off" his behavior was in a class situation. His kindergarden teacher was so sweet & accepting and just kind of shrugged & laughed it all off. I felt bad that he was having to deal with this nasty first grade teacher at such a young age!

Through the school testing, he was found eligible for help,(with our arguing and fighting for the help) thus the 504 plan, but tested too high for an IEP. Our Dr. at that time insisted the school was the one with the issues, he "knew" my son and did not think he had ADD. I had to take him to a neurologist and psychiatrist for the diagnosis and have since moved on to another pediatrician. I KNOW there is something up with my son. He absolutely has ADD, but to see him on a one on one, he seems like a normal kid. It is in the group situations he cannot stay focused at all, loses everything (including his new IPOD!), messy, disorganized, can't follow directions....

We live in an upper class area and have terrific schools. My daughter is vision impaired and there was no question for her, she has an IEP and gets EVERYTHING. ADD is just so tricky. We hear often "He doesn't try....He does't care" from the teachers.....We also have a doctor's diagnosis of ADD. You may start with your pediatrician or family dr. Explain the situation. Be VERY careful of the meds. We have tried almost everything available with very poor results, unfortunately. My son had so many horrid side effects including personality changes and wound up in a hospital at one point. Don't let the school pressure you into starting any meds. If you do, go with your gut and if you see any negative changes, be wary. After his 6th grade year, his personality was so nasty (MEAN and ORNERY - which is so unlike him) I weaned him off the meds with the psychiatrist's help.

He is not on any medications and will not be. I am just crossing my fingers that he either can pull it together in HS, or actually bomb out so badly that the issue of the IEP can actually be brought up again. (I feel bad hoping for that, but I don't know what else to do if he doesn't succeed in HS)

Good luck - Hope you find the help that you need!

Lives4Disney

 

[atatamanukaH]

Both of my kids have not been tested for apnea but they both do not snore at all.
I know a lot about apnea because I have it and there are two types obstructional and Nuerological. Although it can cause some attention problems it is not even near the amount of problems a child with ASD has. I wish I could stick a CPAP machine on my DS and DD and all of there problems would disapear but it just is not a realistic expectation. Altough I thankyou for your intrest in helping those with ASD it is not so simple. (I wish it was)
JenJen

You do not have to snore to have sleep apnea. It is a sign, but only a sign. There are many sleep disorders out there, not just sleep apnea, but can have the bottom line same effect. If you deprive your body of oxygen while you sleep, you get no benefite from sleep, and the result can be the same symptoms as ADD, or whatever variation you may be involved with.

I was simply relaying information that a licensed physician gave me, so take it for what its worth. Believe me....I think I would have my child sleep tested before putting them on a variaty of medications that could end up doing more harm than good, but again, thats just me......

 

[cathyz]

I can't imagine sending my DS13 (Aspergers and ADD) back this year. He's supposed to start 7th grade; oour Middle School is 5-8. I decided to homeschool him this year. It was a really tough decision and I really hope it's the right one! I can totally understand where you're coming from, though. Kids are mean enough,as it is. But, with an 'Aspie' child it's so tough to watch!

 

[minkydog]

I can't imagine sending my DS13 (Aspergers and ADD) back this year. He's supposed to start 7th grade; oour Middle School is 5-8. I decided to homeschool him this year. It was a really tough decision and I really hope it's the right one! I can totally understand where you're coming from, though. Kids are mean enough,as it is. But, with an 'Aspie' child it's so tough to watch!

You know, this is exactly why we homeschooled my DS through the middle school years. And it was a very tough decision, because he was begging to go to school. But I knew in my heart that he needed more protection than they could give him. He has severe ADD and learning disabilities, so school is hard wherever it is. But at least at home nobody makes fun of you or puts you down.

BTW--he eventually transitioned successfully into high school, where he did well socially, but failed academically. He recently graduated from a home school program, American School.

 

[missypie]

You know, this is exactly why we homeschooled my DS through the middle school years. And it was a very tough decision, because he was begging to go to school. But I knew in my heart that he needed more protection than they could give him. He has severe ADD and learning disabilities, so school is hard wherever it is. But at least at home nobody makes fun of you or puts you down.

BTW--he eventually transitioned successfully into high school, where he did well socially, but failed academically. He recently graduated from a home school program, American School.

What's he doing now?

I am so interested in what happens to these kids after high school, but I can find so little info. on the degree of college success vs. failure, the employment outlook, etc. I'm so afraid of my DS living an adult life of boredom, poverty and drudgery due to "underemployment." He's so bright, but such a poor student.

 

[kathyk2]

I would strongly encourage parents who are worried about their child's job prospects to become familiar with the vocational rehabilitation agency in your state. They can assist your child with things like interest testing, job coaching and possibly help with college expenses. If your child has an IEP transition planning should start at 14.

 

[minkydog]

What's he doing now?

I am so interested in what happens to these kids after high school, but I can find so little info. on the degree of college success vs. failure, the employment outlook, etc. I'm so afraid of my DS living an adult life of boredom, poverty and drudgery due to "underemployment." He's so bright, but such a poor student.

At the moment he is waiting for college to start and half-heartedly looking for a job.John is a bright kid who sometimes needs a "swift kick in the pants" to get motivated. Most recently he has talked about going out West to live with my sister in Seattle, maybe go to school out there, but for the moment he is planning to live at home and go to a community college. We have cut way back on his "free ride" forcing him to do yard work & odd jobs for extra cash until he lands a job. (poor baby, haha)

Interestingly, his friends are either college or military-bound, all good students with good character. John has never done drugs or had run-ins with the law,even though he has battled severe depression for the last 5 years(which makes him unfit for military, sadly). He has been doing well, although on an unusual track, for the last 9 months and I expect he will find his flow.

 

[missypie]

Okay...so school started yesterday. It was so sad. DS managed to actually make friends in middle school...there was a group of kids in his gifted class that were just about as quirky as he is. NONE of those kids are in his classes. I keep reminding him that he didn't know any of his middle school friends when he started middle school, but he has such a hard time making friends that we're all disappointed.

Second issue: It was always in his IEP to have a home set of books, because he has such a hard time remembering which books to bring home at night. At his ARD in the spring, the rep. from the high school said we didn't need to put that in, because it would be easy to get extra books. Why did I listen to her? Now we can't get the books and it's not in his IEP. I WILL call a meeting just for that issue if I need to.

Oh, I hate shifting into this "lioness mommy" mode.

 

[Selket]

I'm dreading the start of school too (starts next Monday for us). My older son (age 7) is starting 3rd grade and had a lot of trouble last year paying attention in class - so much so that he was evaluated for ADD. The school determined he didn't have it - and I'm not sure he does - but he does seem to have some of the issues associated it with and reading some of the posts here (about forgetting to turn in work, not paying attention at school, not following directions) it rings a bell. He isn't nearly as bad at home with all this than at school however....and he is only 7 so perhaps we have more control than one does over an older kid.

Just about all of the parents with boys in his 2nd grade class last year had a problem with this particular teacher (she apparently favored girls over boys - NONE of the parents with boys liked her at all and all the boys struggled). I'm hoping this year for better things.

Anyway I'm just wondering at what point you knew that your child was ADD? He plays well with others and socializes well, etc. He plays on sports teams and so forth and seems really typical until it comes to school. I can't tell if we hit a bump in the road with the teacher or ? My younger son (age 3) was dx'd with type 1 diabetes last year and is also highly allergic to peanuts so he has been an extra handful. I'm wondering if all the attention we've had to focus on those issues has caused this.

Hope we all have a good year at school.

 

[3kidsmommy]

On the other hand, DS10 is sooo so happy to be in school and I am soooo so happy for him to be there. He is severely mentally handicapped and summers are difficult. I wish he could go to school year-round. I love him dearly,but he is a lot of work. He has the body of a 10yr with a mind of a toddler--that means getting into stuff, running away, being head-strong & destructive when he is not properly channeled. It's exhausting; it certainly takes a village to raise this child!

This sounds so much like my 7 year old ds! Chandler is in a mainstreamed P1/P2 classroom this year, the same one as last year, with a one on one aide and resource pull out for 2 1/2 hours a day. He has autism, mental retardation, SID, and ADHD. Although he is 7, he sees the world through the eyes of a much younger child--between 2 and 5 depending on the certain skill.
Anyway, we started school on August 15 and the first week was HORRID!!! I have already called an ARC meeting and have not been a very nice person to the staff who refuse to follow his IEP. UGH...our school has a new prinicipal and she has no clue. I am struggling with the decision to keep him in his current placement (at the P2 level this year and he can't read nor write, doesn't understand one to one coorespondance so no math skills can be taught--yet he is verbal and his reading comprehension is awesome--when he is read to, obviously) or place him in the FMD room...I hate the school year. My younger son, 6, is loving P1 and my dd, 10, is top dog in 5th grade and thus far loving it. So, my worries are all about Chandler.

 

[missypie]

I'm dreading the start of school too (starts next Monday for us). My older son (age 7) is starting 3rd grade and had a lot of trouble last year paying attention in class - so much so that he was evaluated for ADD. The school determined he didn't have it - and I'm not sure he does - but he does seem to have some of the issues associated it with and reading some of the posts here (about forgetting to turn in work, not paying attention at school, not following directions) it rings a bell. He isn't nearly as bad at home with all this than at school however....and he is only 7 so perhaps we have more control than one does over an older kid.

Just about all of the parents with boys in his 2nd grade class last year had a problem with this particular teacher (she apparently favored girls over boys - NONE of the parents with boys liked her at all and all the boys struggled). I'm hoping this year for better things.

Anyway I'm just wondering at what point you knew that your child was ADD? He plays well with others and socializes well, etc. He plays on sports teams and so forth and seems really typical until it comes to school. I can't tell if we hit a bump in the road with the teacher or ? My younger son (age 3) was dx'd with type 1 diabetes last year and is also highly allergic to peanuts so he has been an extra handful. I'm wondering if all the attention we've had to focus on those issues has caused this.

Hope we all have a good year at school.

Our son is extraordinarly distractable. He's never had the "H" part of ADHD. He just gets distracted by ANYTHING. Last year he had Algebra 1st period. We figured out that he needed to take his Concerta earlier in the morning when he told us that his teacher had pictues on her wall and he couldn't look away from them and that the pictures moved! Kinda hard to learn Algebra when there's a movie going on right in front of you!

Pretty early on, DS was able to tell us that his thoughts were "jittery."

 

[Earstou]

Four days into the school year and already I get a call!! Aaaghhh! My ds was "inappropriate". Duh! He won't talk to the teacher. Duh. I explained that being ASD that this was pretty normal. The teacher than went on a rant about how she knows he did it on purpose because he was mad (about being in study hall). I almost told her to stop and take a deep breath, but decided that might really start the year off bad!
She is his study hall teacher. The reason he is in study hall is to try to keep him on track (assignments in on time) since this is his first year in middle school. This was the schools suggestion. She was questioning ME why he was in study hall. So I have a feeling she will be no help to him at all.
So, when my son arrived home, I talked to him. The teacher had made him do work on the computer when he was done with his homework. He says it is 1+1 type of problems. This is middle school and ds is in the gifted program. The "inappropriate" thing he did was type "this is stupid".

Now, I agree he shouldn't have typed "this is stupid", but I don't think it warranted a call home. But on the other hand, I now know what kind of teacher he has and I will be in school tomorrow to try to get him out of the study hall or get the situation corrected!!!

 

[SueM in MN]

So, when my son arrived home, I talked to him. The teacher had made him do work on the computer when he was done with his homework. He says it is 1+1 type of problems. This is middle school and ds is in the gifted program. The "inappropriate" thing he did was type "this is stupid".

Now, I agree he shouldn't have typed "this is stupid", but I don't think it warranted a call home. But on the other hand, I now know what kind of teacher he has and I will be in school tomorrow to try to get him out of the study hall or get the situation corrected!!!

This sounds like something I did in 9th grade. I won't go into the boring description of what we did in Social Studies on other days, but Tues and Wed were devoted to looking up long lists of words in a dictioninary, writing out the definitions and then using each definition of the word correctly in sentence. This was meant to "increase our vocabulary". My best friend and I found it an incredible waste of our time, especially considering that both of us were in advanced classes (the advanced SS class was full) and had been reading books from the adult section of the library since 3rd grade. (We were such geeks that we read the encyclopedia for fun in 3rd grade! Perfect friends!).
We wrote a few sentences that mirrored our frustration. We figured the teacher could not possibly read all the sentences from all the students, so we increased the number of things we wrote until it was pretty obvious we were bored.
My mom got called into the Assistant Principal's office with me. They didn't quite know what to do with my friend and me. We were quietly doing our work, were completing it to the "T", the only thing that was negative about it was the content of what we were writing. (In fact, as my mother pointed out as she read some of the sentences, they were well constructed and used the given words effectively.) We never wrote anything threatening or anything that was un-true, more things like:
Retirement: "Mr. X's retirement would be a cause for jubilation."
Effective: "Writing definitions and sentences is an effective means to induce boredom in a large number of students." or "Effective education involves actively teaching the students, rather than relying on inappropriate levels of repetition."
My mother stood up for me and said that it was not fair to punish me as long as I was doing the work (to the "nth degree"), not sharing my perceptions and not disrupting the class. All I was doing was quietly expressing my opinion. It was decided that the 2 friends needed to be separated. My friend was "sprung" and got into a better class. I had to stay in the old class and I wrote fewer negative sentences (but I'm sure the teacher did not understand some of them because I increased the complexity of the language).
Anyway, hugs to you and your son. If the study hall is anything like the ones I am familiar with, not much studying gets done there anyway.
Do they have any kind of "resource room?" If they do, that might be more helpful.

 

[missypie]

Four days into the school year and already I get a call!! Aaaghhh! My ds was "inappropriate". Duh! He won't talk to the teacher. Duh. I explained that being ASD that this was pretty normal. The teacher than went on a rant about how she knows he did it on purpose because he was mad (about being in study hall). I almost told her to stop and take a deep breath, but decided that might really start the year off bad!
She is his study hall teacher. The reason he is in study hall is to try to keep him on track (assignments in on time) since this is his first year in middle school. This was the schools suggestion. She was questioning ME why he was in study hall. So I have a feeling she will be no help to him at all.
So, when my son arrived home, I talked to him. The teacher had made him do work on the computer when he was done with his homework. He says it is 1+1 type of problems. This is middle school and ds is in the gifted program. The "inappropriate" thing he did was type "this is stupid".

Now, I agree he shouldn't have typed "this is stupid", but I don't think it warranted a call home. But on the other hand, I now know what kind of teacher he has and I will be in school tomorrow to try to get him out of the study hall or get the situation corrected!!!

They mainstream our kids -as they should be - but then the teachers don't know that what they consider "misbehavior" IS our kids' normal behavoir.

Our DS has mild Asperger's but there is another boy in his grade with quite severe Asperger's. They were in the same 5th grade class. The other boy kept being disciplined for behaving the way a kid with severe Asperger's behaves.

What is wild is that we found out at the high school that the school has a POLICY of NOT SHARING a child's diagnosis unless or until a teacher questions the office (as in "What's up with that kid?") So when an autistic child is behaving as an autistic child does, the teacher is in the dark...unless the parents fill the teacher in, which we have.

 

[Earstou]

What is wild is that we found out at the high school that the school has a POLICY of NOT SHARING a child's diagnosis unless or until a teacher questions the office (as in "What's up with that kid?") So when an autistic child is behaving as an autistic child does, the teacher is in the dark...unless the parents fill the teacher in, which we have.

His study hall teacher attended his IEP meeting at the elementary school last spring, so one would expect her, of all people, to have some understanding here!!!!!
I just have the feeling she will not be helpful at all, that she's one of those teachers who have heard all the info, but choose to believe there's no such thing as Aspergers.

 

[missypie]

His study hall teacher attended his IEP meeting at the elementary school last spring, so one would expect her, of all people, to have some understanding here!!!!!
I just have the feeling she will not be helpful at all, that she's one of those teachers who have heard all the info, but choose to believe there's no such thing as Aspergers.

I hear ya. Last year at DS's meeting, it was the do-nothing inclusion teacher --the only Special Ed. teacher DS saw -- who lobbied to remove DS from all special services. I wanted to slug her. (Of course, since she did next to nothing with/for DS, having her was LIKE having no special help.)

 

[JenJen]

I was simply relaying information that a licensed physician gave me, so take it for what its worth. Believe me....I think I would have my child sleep tested before putting them on a variaty of medications that could end up doing more harm than good, but again, thats just me......

I just wanted to point out that none of my kids are on any medications. We manage there symptoms with diet and Vitamin supplements. Medication is a last resort and considering they are 10 and 13 I doubt they will ever be on it. I have a type of apnea where I just stop breathing (nuero) no obstruction so I do not snore at all I am aware of apnea. Just to tickle my fancy I stuck my pulse OX on my son the other night to see if his oxygen level went down at anytime during the night. The lowest it got was 98 for 2 seconds so I don't think it is the problem. But thankyou for your suggestion. I might do it with daughter tonight if I can keep her connected.
JenJen

 

[Gillian]

I am worried about DS starting kindergarten in a few weeks. For the past few months he's really been acting up in camp. It's run by his preschool, so they know him. He doesn't listen at all.

We've (esp DH) been lax with his bedtime, and he may not be getting enough sleep, but it doesn't seem like that could be the whole problem.

The other day I went to a "graduation" program for a PAL safety thing and he was the only one not paying attention & participating in the singing/poems etc. It made me sick to watch. He was so distracted. I got it on video, but haven't shown DH yet.

Anyway, wish us luck! I expect to hear from his teacher soon.