Any Unschoolers here who ditched that method?

[Coconut36]

I am a little ashamed to ask this, but did anyone watch Wife Swap last night? My dd12 loves to watch Dance Moms and after last night's episode, Wife Swap came on - it featured an unschooling mom and her family! I was curious so I watched it. Sadly, this family was exactly what most of us imagine when thinking of an unschooling family.

A few pages back, I mentioned a family that I know who claims to unschool their children, and like I mentioned, they actually do not do any school with their children. They just use the term 'unschooling' to defend their very different lifestyle. From my observation of the family I know and watching the family on Wife Swap, these people are very different altogether. Their choice of education or their lack of it falls in line with their lifestyle. There is no structure or routine in the home. They live very isolated and have little to no friends. Personal hygiene is neglected. Socially, they(the parents) can not functon, and in the case of the family I know, they are both public school and university graduates. They do not know personal boundaries and love shock value statements. Like I stated earlier, this particular family failed their children even when they were in public school. Due to truancy and neglect, the children were held back a year, and eventually, the school turned them in to authorities on the basis of neglect. In order to hide, this family moved to another citiy and started 'unschooling'. The family featured on Wife Swap was not even close to the extreme family that I shared about, but they had very similiar lifestyles and ideals. In no way am I saying that all unschooling families are neglecting and failing their children. I am just saying that sometimes the terms 'unschooling' and 'homeschooling' are used by some to defend or allow certain lifestyles. It is frustrating to true unschoolers and homeschoolers because these are the type of extreme families that form the opinions of many who are unfamiliar with unschooling and homeschooling. It is frustrating.

Was it a new episode of Wife Swap? I ask only because the friend I mentioned that I grew up with who was "unschooled" (even though that term wasn't used at the time..it was the 80's so nobody used it) had parents that went on to do Wife Swap! I have yet to be able to find the episode (it was the 2nd season of Wife Swap I think) but I would LOVE to see it. I think in the case of the family I knew (my friend was not in it from what I can gather..just the youngest sibling) the focus seems to be on vegan vs meat eating diets but I don't know if the education portion is in there at all.

 

[Momvic5]

Was it a new episode of Wife Swap? I ask only because the friend I mentioned that I grew up with who was "unschooled" (even though that term wasn't used at the time..it was the 80's so nobody used it) had parents that went on to do Wife Swap! I have yet to be able to find the episode (it was the 2nd season of Wife Swap I think) but I would LOVE to see it. I think in the case of the family I knew (my friend was not in it from what I can gather..just the youngest sibling) the focus seems to be on vegan vs meat eating diets but I don't know if the education portion is in there at all.

I really don't know if it was a new episode or not. I normally do not watch Wife Swap, but the unschooling family caught my attention last night. I hope you find it!

 

[Coconut36]

I really don't know if it was a new episode or not. I normally do not watch Wife Swap, but the unschooling family caught my attention last night. I hope you find it!

Thanks..the season they were on seems particularly hard to track down (and one must be very careful in googling "wife swap" ) so I am always on alert to try to catch the episode. I always felt (and still do for the most part) they edit those things to show the "crazy" but when I read the descriptions of the episode my friends parents were on it fit them perfectly (at least how I remember them to be).

 

[herdtoDisney]

I just read an article today in the Hartford Courant about unschooling, and the families featured are more like what I think about as far as unschooling. They more or less followed their kids' interests, but they did all kinds of classes and experiences. So they defenitely did structured learning. They also took steps to ensure the kids took courses needed for college ( like the math). Although I don't know these families, they are like the ones I have known. I don't know how to link it but it is on today's home page.

The ones on Wife Swap and the 'radical' boards are fringe. While they obviously exist, they are not typical. They do not represent homeschoolers or even unschoolers. In the same way, people who send their kids to public school and are abusive/neglectful at home are not representative of public school families. There are bad apples in every bunch.

 

[NotWorking]

Our family is a good example of "unschooling gone wrong"

We're 4 children, I'm the eldest and finished grade 8 in a classroom, my other siblings finished grade 6, 3 and 1 in classroom then we all were pulled out to be "homeschooled" which began alright but then eventually turned into "unschooling" and I heard my mother tell people that she believed in unschooling us, the concept of unschooling, which in our family just meant not doing anything at all and letting kids learn whatever they want whenever they want, there was no encouragement or support.

I was mislead to think that I could somehow take an exam and if I passed get into a college, I was also strongly encouraged to sign up for a course (by mail) and quickly get a certificate, which my mother then told people was my "career" choice but it all ended there.

I had high hopes and dreams for myself, but my biggest regret was being too young and dealing with depression and other issues to even try to help my siblings make better choices, some of them hardly know any education. We all learned to read through reading books and such on our own.

This ordeal was the last straw that split up my parents marriage (like the original poster mentioned) we lost our father and he lost the battle with my mother to try to keep us in school.

My mother is a religious person and her reasoning is that a girl doesn't need higher education because she will get married early and it would just be a waste of time to spend so many years achieving higher education which wont benefit her in the end when she ends up as a "housewife"

I found it interesting reading what some posters said about unschooling being more difficult than homeschooling, I think homeschooling or even a child going to conventional "school" requires some effort on the parents behalf, it's sad to see a parent (like mine) who chooses an at home approach but does zero effort.

Just wanted to put my story out there and hope that this is not going on anywhere else, because this "secret" has come to haunt us in every way of our lives, we never made friends, we were always kept indoors and my siblings battle self esteem, social anxiety and even mental illness, eating disorders and I've heard suicide brought up a few times.

I have met another adult who grew up in a very similar way, and was denied school due to a parents mental illness, paranoia and hoarding.

This needs to stop.

 

[Kristi1357]

 

[MamaBear2020]

Google this article on Psychology Today from
Peter Gray Ph.D. entitled,
“A Survey of Grown Unschoolers I: Overview of Findings
Seventy-five unschooled adults report on their childhood and adult experiences.”

It won’t let me post the link. Hope this helps.

 

[Amii]

I have friends that homeschool---not "unschool" ..but they have to prove to the state a reasonable amouint of learning etc.. I'm surprised there isn't some minimal standard.

There are private umbrella schools that parents can enroll in. They are geared towards unschooling and since they are private schools he parents do not have to answer to the public school system.

 

[JimMIA]

You guys realize this Zombie thread is 9 years old...right?

 

[MamaBear2020]

Amii, where can I find more information on the umbrella schools?
Any suggestions for students in Colorado or New Jersey?

Still applicable Jim. Even more so now.

 

[Amii]

Amii, where can I find more information on the umbrella schools?
Any suggestions for students in Colorado or New Jersey?

Still applicable Jim. Even more so now.

I tried to PM you but for some reason I can't. You can search "homeschool umbrella school" to find options. I do know someone who uses one umbrella school. You can PM me if you want the name. There are umbrella schools cover the whole country and in some cases the whole world.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I tried to PM you but for some reason I can't. You can search "homeschool umbrella school" to find options. I do know someone who uses one umbrella school. You can PM me if you want the name. There are umbrella schools cover the whole country and in some cases the whole world.

You can't PM her because she doesn't have 10 or more posts yet.

 

[Amii]

You can't PM her because she doesn't have 10 or more posts yet.

Oops. I looked at the post number for this thread instead of how many posts she's made. Thanks!

 

[mshanson3121]

So... it's a Zombie thread as someone mentioned above, but someone else resurrected it thanks to Covid. I actually came across it today as I was doing a search for this very topic. We homeschool, and I've always been drawn in by unschooling, and am in a few groups dedicated to it... but something about it also doesn't sit right with me. You can find tonnes of glowing reviews and positive stories about it, but quite honestly, negative reviews/stories are hard to find. Is it because they're really that rare (and unschooling is that much of a success?) or is it because they just don't want to admit it flopped? Looking forward to going back and skimming through the pages.

 

[hsmamato2]

So... it's a Zombie thread as someone mentioned above, but someone else resurrected it thanks to Covid. I actually came across it today as I was doing a search for this very topic. We homeschool, and I've always been drawn in by unschooling, and am in a few groups dedicated to it... but something about it also doesn't sit right with me. You can find tonnes of glowing reviews and positive stories about it, but quite honestly, negative reviews/stories are hard to find. Is it because they're really that rare (and unschooling is that much of a success?) or is it because they just don't want to admit it flopped? Looking forward to going back and skimming through the pages.

I got drawn in by the zombie thread b/c I wondered if anyone who had posted here in 2011 had changed their minds one way or another over the years.... I homeschooled my kids.... we tried a variety of methods to find a fit....unschooling was one I found interesting- and gave it a try (in my own style) I liked the idea of kids learning as they grew,and the interests that led them leading to learning experiences..... the "radical Unschooling" referred to here was NOT my style at all. My kids NEVER decided that learning math skills was a necessity....(just one example) and I knew as a parent that they would need certain skills as adults. ( Math curriculum it is!) SO overall our homeschooling was "relaxed eclectic"...
From the folks I've known who did this, the kids when elementary/middle school age were not enjoyable to be around overall,(behavioral nightmare was the norm,not the exception) the kids as older teens seemed ok ,I mean they seemed to grow up into average decent adults, but I don't keep up with most of them anymore (mine are grown). Like I said, doubt you'll find too many stories about major flops with unschooling...who's gonna report that? And who's going to say which adult is a 'flop' and which a 'success'? I'm thinking as long as they grow up to be a decent productive member of society....ya' know?
Honestly, I'm assuming most of those kids grew up with at least basic reading/writing and math skills and can hold a job....

 

[superme80]

So... it's a Zombie thread as someone mentioned above, but someone else resurrected it thanks to Covid. I actually came across it today as I was doing a search for this very topic. We homeschool, and I've always been drawn in by unschooling, and am in a few groups dedicated to it... but something about it also doesn't sit right with me. You can find tonnes of glowing reviews and positive stories about it, but quite honestly, negative reviews/stories are hard to find. Is it because they're really that rare (and unschooling is that much of a success?) or is it because they just don't want to admit it flopped? Looking forward to going back and skimming through the pages.

I do Unit studies with my youngest. He gets to pick what he learns, and I make sure he does learn. I got into it with someone in a local homeschool group regarding unschooling. She was unschooled and SWEARS kids will learn. True most kids will have interest, but if my kids could ignore grammar, science, and math, they would. Having a curriculum for science helps us get it done, and is more enjoyable for them. My youngest is in 1st grade, so unit studies work really well for him. We can wrap tons of things up under a particular subject matter. He was super into Sharks for awhile. So we read about sharks, science. We did some counting and under sea games, math. And he worked on writing a sentence on sharks, language arts. I have one friend that unschooling worked for her. She is a naturally curious person, so wanting to learn was something she was always going to do. I met her in college, so I could tell it worked for her. Majority of kids are not like her. Yes they enjoy learning, but as a homeschooling parent, you need to guide that. You need to do more than just leave books out and HOPE your kids want to learn.

 

[NotUrsula]

"Unschooling" really only works well for people who are naturally inclined to be autodidactic; intellectual sponges who have an innate drive to soak up any and all knowledge they come across. (Think Alexander Hamilton, for one example, or Marie Curie.)

Such people are very, very rare, and the odds of all the siblings in a family having that trait are quite low. It would be one thing to "unschool" one child who was a driven knowledge-seeker, but trying it with a family group almost never works out well.

 

[mshanson3121]

"Unschooling" really only works well for people who are naturally inclined to be autodidactic; intellectual sponges who have an innate drive to soak up any and all knowledge they come across. (Think Alexander Hamilton, for one example, or Marie Curie.)

Such people are very, very rare, and the odds of all the siblings in a family having that trait are quite low. It would be one thing to "unschool" one child who was a driven knowledge-seeker, but trying it with a family group almost never works out well.

You just described my issue. My daughter is Autistic (Aspergers), and is that autodidatic child with a gifted IQ who is extremely driven. She taught herself how to read, she taught herself math - we caught her one night writing out a book of the times tables when she was 5 etc... She was running her own bake stand at the farm market by the time she was 9. She's taught herself to play piano. She's a perfectionist. She wants to be a veterinarian and so for "fun" she will read encyclopedias and write out pages of notes. She gets it from my father who had a bonafide genius IQ and was also extremely autodidatic (and I wouldn't be surprised if he had Asperger's as well). So I can absolutely 100% see how unschooling could work for a child like her.

But then there's my son... the absent minded professor . His life motto is, "Meh, that's good enough." He has passions and interests, but he doesn't pursue them with the same drive that she has. In fact, he would rarely pursue them at all. Would he pursue math, spelling, grammar? Nope, lol. He would pursue his art and xBox though!

This is why I have such hard time when I see people speak of certain educational pedagogy in absolutes.