any moms work the evening shift

[luvmyfam444]

leaving your dh to get the kiddos fed, bathed & to bed?

I have just gotten a job - it'll be 5-11 p. shift - I'm not real sure how all this is gonns work.

Any hints?

I'm guessing I'll have dinner ready before I leave @ 4:20 & let him reheat it when he gets ready to eat -

BTW there's 3 kids - 8,3 & 3 mos..

And dh is usually in bed by 8:30 but the 3 mo isn't til about 10:30!!!

 

[offwegotoneverland]

Well it sounds like DH will be staying up later...any chance you can start resetting the 3 month old's clock now?

A crock pot will be your friend.

Also DH may have to make dinner more often.

(my DH has always worked shifts...and I've always worked as well. He cooks, bathes etc DS when that's required...in fact does more of the house work then I do as my job takes more additional hours then his and makes 3 x's the dollars)

 

[Bob Slydell]

He'll learn to adapt. He'll have to stay up later and, if he doesn't already, he'll get used to getting the kids ready for bed. Heck, I do it many nights -- it's not rocket science.

 

[RadioNate]

I used to do this. Why is it you think your DH can't make dinner and get the kids to bed?

I'd usually defrost something if I needed to (or DH asked) but once I left for work DH and DS were on their own. It was fine.

Unless your DH gets up at 430am there is no reason he can't stay up past 830pm.

I'd try moving the 3 mo old a little earlier but then you'll just be dealing with him earlier in the morning and remember you won't get to bed until at least midnight.

Both your jobs are important and now that you are working outside the home he'll have to pick up some of your home duties.

 

[barkley]

stock up on advil for him (those first few weeks are gonna be interesting).

don't assume the house will look upon your return anywhere near what it looked like when you left it (you may find yourself doing alot more big cleaning unless dh is good at picking up after the kids/himself as he goes along).

maybe bribe the 8 year old to take on some extra chores that might initialy get set aside in the wake of the 'evening managment change' (like putting the dishes in the dishwasher, putting the leftovers away, putting laundry away....).

i know this sounds totaly goofy what with dh being a parent of children and around them all the time-but you might want to grab a copy of 'what to expect-the baby years/toddler years' for him to have on hand. i've known dads who were awsome but when left alone with a baby the most basic things baffled them-having an 'owners manual' to refer to might not be such a bad idea (and might save allot of needless calls to you at work). you might also want to make a quick reference notebook of where you keep things he would'nt usualy have much need to look for-spare bottles of tearless shampoo, extra baby wipes, tweezers, nasel bulb (teach him how to use it-not a great thing to have to trial and error with a fussy baby), humidifier...

anyone whose not pottytrained-i'de do a double bedding on. sheet covered by waterproof sheet, covered by another sheet, topped with waterproof sheet. unless he going to be realy willing to change a soiled/wet bedding it could keep you from ending up coming home to the younger ones 'snuggling with dad' in your bed-because 'we were both tired and it was easier than tearing that bed apart to change the sheets'.

good luck mom!

 

[jennyl772003]

We used to do that in our house. Only one child though. DH has always cooked dinner, so that wasn't a big deal at all.

They had great fun at night. They would play and watch TV and sit around in their undies, etc. Good, clean, man fun.

DH got to be quite the bath time/bed time pro.

Even now that I work first shift, DH still gets DS shower/bath ready.

Just remember, he may do things DIFFERENTLY then you, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Let him get his own routine figured out, don't expect him to follow yours anymore.

 

[CEDmom]

I don't work nights but there have been plenty of times that I've been out doing volunteer stuff, seeing friends, going to the gym that my DH has had to handle stuff.

You'll get the hang of doing make ahead meals. Lots of things can be doubled and frozen. I'd try to work on getting your baby on a schedule that works better for your DH but really his days of going to bed at 8:30 are likely over. Maybe you could meet in the middle at 9:30.

Also, if your 2 younger ones aren't going to daycare you could probably save baths for the morning unless they're really dirty.

 

[luvmyfam444]

Yes - DH up @ 4:30 a.m. & leaves home by 4:50 or so - that's why he tries is hardest to be in bed by 8 - if he's still on the couch or chair he's fast asleep by 9.

Dh has never been left w/ the kids for more than a few hours @ a time - & never with all 3 more than 1 hr - so needless to say I'm a bit nervous about it all....

I guess what makes me the most nervous is the safety issues - he just doesn't have the motherly instinct - all 3 of my girls have choked (2 on food) and he didn't know what to do other than call my name over & over... it's little things like that that are unnerving....I guess if he HAS to do it then his adrenalin would kick in & all would be fine. BUT STILL....

Dh doesn't cook much - he could cook I guess - but I feel it's WAY to much to ask of him he's certainly not used to having kids underfoot while doing something dangerous like cooking. I looked @ a bunch of recipes today & got some crockpot meals ready & some easy to prepare meals that I can throw together that can be cooked or reheated in microwave.

I think I'm just gonna have to put myself on a strict schedule to get things done in time - I've never had to live on a schedule much (other than getting dd to/from school)...

GOnna be some HUGE changes

AND then there's the issue of how dd#2 is gonna handle me not being around (I'm always w/her unless she's @ church)--she's stayed w/grannparent w/o me - but not in her own home w/o me...gonna be interesting.

 

[Stacerita]

Ive worked second shift in the past and might be going back to it one day. It will just take time and a little flexiblity. Things wont be done how you would do it. But things will get done. Helping him by starting dinner early will be good while he gets used to the change.