Any ideas to calm my fears on layovers?

[LukenDC]

Your daughter is 17. In many cultures, she would already be married with children. In just a year she will be old enough to go on active duty in a war zone. It can be hard to let go and realize that a child is growing up. But she will be fine sitting in a high security environment with thousands of other people.

I hope that your ex husband takes your feelings into consideration and consults with you about travel plans next time he has the kids. Good luck!

 

[BeachGirlFLA]

I definitely think you're overreacting. I had a layover on my own when I was 15.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Fyi: there's something called a gate pass...it allows people who don't have boarding passes through security, but not on planes. That's how the SIL would be allowed through security.

Gate passes are not easy to come by though. You can get one to accompany an "unaccompanied minor" to the gate (and to pick said minor up) but I would be surprised an airport would issue one to someone to spend time with a 17 year old during a lay over. When DD flew home unaccompanied from Colorado to Boston last summer (at age 11) the TSA was not issueing gate passes even for pick up at Logan that mornign and we had to wait outside of security (there were otehr parents comming to pick up children as well) for the kdis to be brought out.

 

[tw1nsmom]

Fyi: there's something called a gate pass...it allows people who don't have boarding passes through security, but not on planes. That's how the SIL would be allowed through security.

Yes, there are gate passes. However, they are very hesitant to give them out. They're used if someone needs physical assistance to a plane (elderly or disabled) or for smaller minor children (usually 12 and under). You might get an understanding person who would give a gate pass to someone just checking on an older teen, but more likely you wouldn't. I would count the both the 15 year old and the 17 year old as older teens. When my grandmother traveled when she was 85 and needed a combination of a wheel chair and a walker to get on the plane I had to convince them to give me a gate pass to help her.

 

[MichelleVW]

Wow definitely over reacting. My girls have been flying to see their dad for years and for the past 3 years we stopped paying for the airlines to keep an eye on them for us. There is no reason that a 17 year old that has flown before can't make her connection.

My girls flew alone to Europe this summer and had to change planes in Amsterdam. I will admit I was a little nervous since they wouldn't have cell phone and were in a foreign country, but of course they did fine and made it to Germany with no problem.

My DD16 is flying alone for the first time next month to go visit her friend in NC. She has to make connections along the way and yes I'm a little nervous because she is my "baby" but she knows how to travel, she'll be fine.

 

[kellyg403]

OK ... I overreacted. I know it, I am shamed by it...trust me. I guess it just was one of those situations where I was blindsided and I just didn't think about anything but the kids sitting in the Atlanta airport for 2 hours. It just made me incredibly upset. The only conversation we had was that he would like to book the latest flight possible on the return trip to spend as much time with them as possible. I said o.k.

Trust me, this is definitely an issue that doesn't have anything to do with dd. I have already apologized, kissed her shoes and begged for forgiveness. In her true teenage style..rolled her eyes and said "mom, is not that serious'. So there you have it...it bothered me way more than it did her!

Kelly

 

[pozey]

My 13 year old DS has flown unaccompanied twice. With layovers each time. No biggie as long as they know what they are doing and what they are supposed to do.

He had his cell phone and would let me know when he got to his gate, when he boarded, when he landed. He knew how to read the terminal monitors to see where his next gate was. He would go there and wait.

No biggie.

 

[MichelleVW]

OK ... I overreacted. I know it, I am shamed by it...trust me. I guess it just was one of those situations where I was blindsided and I just didn't think about anything but the kids sitting in the Atlanta airport for 2 hours. It just made me incredibly upset. The only conversation we had was that he would like to book the latest flight possible on the return trip to spend as much time with them as possible. I said o.k.

Trust me, this is definitely an issue that doesn't have anything to do with dd. I have already apologized, kissed her shoes and begged for forgiveness. In her true teenage style..rolled her eyes and said "mom, is not that serious'. So there you have it...it bothered me way more than it did her!

Kelly

I'm glad you're better now!

I remember freaking out once because my kids flew Southwest and the considered 12 to be an adult!! So I looked at the gate agent and said, "you mean to tell me that this 12 year old is responsible for this 10 year old!!" OMG I WAS LIVID AT MY EX! He was the one that booked the cheaper Southwest flight knowing all about the non accompanied status. Thankfully the kids were fine and said it was fun flying alone

 

[LJC1861]

When I was 17 I flew by myself....for my first flight EVER......to Japan. I was flying from JFK in NY. This was before cell phones even existed! I not only had a layover in Jeuneau Alaska, I landed at Narita Airport in Japan, where I DID NOT speak the language fluently. I had to get my luggage, get through customs, exchange money, get on a shuttle to the center of Tokyo and then find my host family. I did just fine. Your daughter will be fine in Charlotte.

Linda

 

[kellyg403]

I'm glad you're better now!

I remember freaking out once because my kids flew Southwest and the considered 12 to be an adult!! So I looked at the gate agent and said, "you mean to tell me that this 12 year old is responsible for this 10 year old!!" OMG I WAS LIVID AT MY EX! He was the one that booked the cheaper Southwest flight knowing all about the non accompanied status. Thankfully the kids were fine and said it was fun flying alone

Yeah, as I think about it, the more I am upset that their dad didn't say anything. I was actually talking to him on the phone as he was making the reservations because he wanted to make sure the time was o.k. since my drive to Raleigh is three hours one way. He did not say one word. I asked two or more times if he would email me the ticket information and once he said I sent it will send it again and the second time I asked he said he would send it. I finally got the flight information on Tues. So, I feel like he was just sneaky. Then to top it off, I reminded him that the judge said he had to pay all fees associated with his visitation and in Dec I paid all the fees on my end because he never mentioned them and I found out AT the airport check in counter that I owed 150.00. So, when I call the airlines I find out that the fee on the way there is baggage fees but he booked a different airline on the way back for the kids...delta...that has no fees and guess what he didn't pay the fees for the way there. Its just a combination of all these things that just tipped the pendulum!

Kelly

 

[Traveliz]

You had a minor mom moment - it happens - some might call it overeacting - but we all do it on occasion. And I think you were totally justified in that your ex was probably aware you would have concerns and kept it from you it seems.

I haven't sorted out which airport it is your DD will be in for two hours but that isn't really a very long layover. Typically planes are late, need to use the restroom, grab a snack and its almost time to board again. I, too would worry (cause that is what we do best) but it will be a good experience for her.

When you tell her your change of heart be sure to mention that you will not be afraid to stick up for her children when she is freaking out in another 20-30 years.

Liz

 

[NotUrsula]

Gate passes are not easy to come by though. You can get one to accompany an "unaccompanied minor" to the gate (and to pick said minor up) but I would be surprised an airport would issue one to someone to spend time with a 17 year old during a lay over. When DD flew home unaccompanied from Colorado to Boston last summer (at age 11) the TSA was not issueing gate passes even for pick up at Logan that mornign and we had to wait outside of security (there were otehr parents comming to pick up children as well) for the kdis to be brought out.

I agree with you -- no airline would give out a gate pass to check on a perfectly healthy 17 yo girl. If she were disabled, maybe, but in this case it wouldn't be a realistic option.

However, for those that are wondering, there *IS* another option for getting airside. It requires a decent credit line and a willingness to float some money, but it can be done. The way that you do it is to purchase a full-fare fully-refundable ticket for a flight leaving from the same concourse. You check in for the flight, getting a BP to get through security. Then you hang on the to BP, miss the flight, and stop at the agent's desk again on your way out, requesting that the ticket be refunded. It takes several weeks to get the money refunded to your credit card, so you have to be willing to deal with that. (Businesses often use this method to send a last-minute substitute employee on a business trip using someone else's ticket, thus avoiding having to actually pay a change fee.)

OP, I'm glad you realized that you were over-reacting. I'm sure your daughter will be fine and will actually enjoy the experience. Kids in my family often fly alone internationally at that age, and they are always able to handle it with no problems.

 

[MichelleVW]

I agree with you -- no airline would give out a gate pass to check on a perfectly healthy 17 yo girl. If she were disabled, maybe, but in this case it wouldn't be a realistic option.

That's not the situation that I have found. My girls have flown unaccompanied for a few years and last summer when they were 15 and 17 the ticket agent asked us if we BOTH (DH and I) wanted to go through the gate with them. We said no after the kids said they didn't need us. Then 3 weeks later my mom was putting same kids on an airplane in Dayton and the ticket agent asked her if she wanted to go to the gate with them. Mom said yes because she is old school and likes to see people off at the gate but the girls were perfectly able to make it there by themselves.

Just yesterday we were at the ticket counter taking DD18's BFF back to the airport and there was a girl flying by herself who looked about 16 or so and they asked the mom/grandma/whoever if they wanted to go back with the girl.

 

[mjkacmom]

OK ... The only conversation we had was that he would like to book the latest flight possible on the return trip to spend as much time with them as possible. I said o.k.

Kelly

While I think they're fine with connecting flights, I don't even book the last flight of the day for myself, in case my first flight is delayed, and I miss the connection. I would worry about my children if they were booked on the last flight.

 

[MichelleVW]

While I think they're fine with connecting flights, I don't even book the last flight of the day for myself, in case my first flight is delayed, and I miss the connection. I would worry about my children if they were booked on the last flight.

Most times they won't book kids on the last flight of the day. Last Christmas my girl's flight was delayed and they would have missed their connection so they put them on a flight the next day because they wouldn't risk them missing the connection and being stuck in Minneapolis all night.

 

[disfan07]

I started flying by myself when i was 14. I have done layovers in atlanta, tampa and JFK including a 3 hour layover both ways in atlant when i was 16.
I have flown out of dulles, fort lauderdale, orlando, west palmbeach, burbank and LAX by myself.

My brother and i flew from DC to FL by ourselves when i was 9 and my brother was 12...I was considered an unaccompanied minor but my brother wasnt. It was so much fun.

At 17 she should defintiely be able to do a layover in atlanta....you need teh 2 hours there. Planes are alwaya held on the tarmac there, there are terminal changes a lot etc. it will also give her enough time to get somethign to eat before she boreds.
Believe me, i know about parents worrying. This yr i flew 4 times alone and my mom made me call her when i got to the airport, when we boarded, and when i landed,. and i'm 20!!

 

[Pumbaa_]

you are right to be concerned. I fly through Charlotte on business a few times a year. My last flight was in june and my connecting flight was cancelled. i was in line with 40 other people trying to rebook that night. many people were not able to rebook that night, and had to stay overnight

so i don't think you are at all being overly concerned. I was able to get out, but i had a 6 hour layover in charlotte.
Did not get to knoxxville til 12:30am. not fun, but all part of business travel.

Glad to hear your sil is close if you run into that scenario. have her just fly home next day. Direct flights so much easier with unaccompanied minors.

Do some role-playing with her. What would she do if....

charlotte is a very nice airport, and i feel safe there. but, she needs to be a smart traveler too. this is actually a good step for in learning to be independent. Especially since she is almost 18