Anxiety and kids

[Pembo]

My almost 12 yo has anxiety. It's the 6th day of school and already he is anxious about making friends, says no one likes him etc. He gets so worked up that he feels nauseous and other tummy issues.

Yesterday he called home from school at 1:30 in tears bc his stomach hurt so bad. This morning, he was again in tears as he was leaving for school. He was very worried he was going to get sick.

He sees a counselor but he knows all the right things to say and what he should do. I'll put a call in to the counselor today.

Any suggestions from other parents out there? What can I say to help him relax about making friends? BTW - It appears that he is liked. However he doesn't have anyone that calls him or that he calls.

We are actually considering anxiety meds. Anyone ever use them in this type of situation?

I'm calling his doctor today as well. My point in posting is to hear what other parents have experienced. Thanks

 

[The Mystery Machine]

What kind of counselor is he seeing? My dd's was a counselor who did cognitive behavioral therapy for her anxiety. She has specific "homework" that she did for each issue.

She is on meds.

You might find that your son is depressed. The physical part of his complaint sounds like depression.

When my dd got on the meds, her "physical complaints" lifted. It is shocking how depression manifests itself as a physical pain.

She is on a low dose of 5mg of Lexapro daily.

Right now she is not seeing her counselor. She is doing well and puts into practice the techniques she learned. Oh and she was 12 when she started the meds and counselor. She is going to be 14 this month.

 

[Mermaid02]

My almost 12 yo has anxiety. It's the 6th day of school and already he is anxious about making friends, says no one likes him etc. He gets so worked up that he feels nauseous and other tummy issues.

Yesterday he called home from school at 1:30 in tears bc his stomach hurt so bad. This morning, he was again in tears as he was leaving for school. He was very worried he was going to get sick.

He sees a counselor but he knows all the right things to say and what he should do. I'll put a call in to the counselor today.

Any suggestions from other parents out there? What can I say to help him relax about making friends? BTW - It appears that he is liked. However he doesn't have anyone that calls him or that he calls.

We are actually considering anxiety meds. Anyone ever use them in this type of situation?

I'm calling his doctor today as well. My point in posting is to hear what other parents have experienced. Thanks

My 13 year old son is lying face down on the couch crying right now- it's the first day of school. We've done the counseling thing, and the medication thing. The meds helped for a while then stopped- we haven't started them again because our daughter recently had a VERY scary experience on anti depressants and frankly I'm scared.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My 13 year old son is lying face down on the couch crying right now- it's the first day of school. We've done the counseling thing, and the medication thing. The meds helped for a while then stopped- we haven't started them again because our daughter recently had a VERY scary experience on anti depressants and frankly I'm scared.

Oh boy, that sounds awful.

My dd experienced no side effects from her meds. In fact she feels "normal" on them.

What med was it and what was the dosage?

I was also scared about starting the meds so I know what you mean.

 

[shortbun]

Has his counselor given him techniques for reducing anxiety? I'm talking about breathing correctly, a calming 'mantra', refocusing thoughts, self massage and relaxation.... if not, they should have. Good luck, I have a sensitive son as well. He's 15 and he's doing really well-except for his migraines which seem to be...never mind, I'm not going to jinx it.

 

[Liberty Belle]

My almost 12 yo has anxiety. It's the 6th day of school and already he is anxious about making friends, says no one likes him etc. He gets so worked up that he feels nauseous and other tummy issues.

Yesterday he called home from school at 1:30 in tears bc his stomach hurt so bad. This morning, he was again in tears as he was leaving for school. He was very worried he was going to get sick.

He sees a counselor but he knows all the right things to say and what he should do. I'll put a call in to the counselor today.

Any suggestions from other parents out there? What can I say to help him relax about making friends? BTW - It appears that he is liked. However he doesn't have anyone that calls him or that he calls.

We are actually considering anxiety meds. Anyone ever use them in this type of situation?

I'm calling his doctor today as well. My point in posting is to hear what other parents have experienced. Thanks

I wish I could help you. I'm dealing with it with my 7 year old. He's not really anxious about friends, though he says he doesn't have enough (teacher reports he has a lot of friends and is well-liked ). I have an appointment with my son's clinician to discuss it. I don't know what route we'll take, but we've got to do something. It's come to the point where he startles over little noises and he's afraid to be in a room by himself.

What I'm doing now is just making sure I'm cheerful and calm as much as possible. I have anxiety, too, so it's an effort for me not to show signs of stress, but it's very important that I am calm for him.

 

[clarabelle]

We have had some anxiety issues at our house too.
We found out my DD had some triggers.
Lack of sleep (we had to avoid sleepovers for a while)
and we had to avoid watching the weather channel.
I know it sounds silly -but it was around the time of Katrina and she developed a hurricane phobia.
We also did cognitive therapy.
She did have a short stint on medication -but you have to monitor that very closely with teens and kids.
Have you talked to the school counselor?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I see we have a lot of kids here with similiar issues.

Now my dd is a kid who is also a perfectionist and wants to have straight A's. So that was motivation for her to practice her techniques to get her anxiety manageable.

We did challenge her anxiety and build upon her experiences over the summer.

As her psychiatrist said, you need success to build upon success. We are following that mantra and have been successful with it. It is a building thing.

She is getting braces in Oct. and that is going to be a HUGE challenge for her. She has "medical anxiety" and passes out. That gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

 

[Jennasis]

I know it's not a popular opinion, but MEDICATION.

DH had horrible childhood anxiety like your DS. His mother refused to consider medication, and counseling was useless. Years later when we married, his anxiety issues were still there and very strong. Finally found a doctor who treated him with therapy and medication and he lives happy panic and anxiety free life now.

 

[Pembo]

Has his counselor given him techniques for reducing anxiety? I'm talking about breathing correctly, a calming 'mantra', refocusing thoughts, self massage and relaxation.... if not, they should have. Good luck, I have a sensitive son as well. He's 15 and he's doing really well-except for his migraines which seem to be...never mind, I'm not going to jinx it.

Yes, he knows all those techniques...they don't seem to work. I called the school counselor this morning. She has been checking in on him at school and he appears happy and has friends. Really it's all in his head. My next step is to call about meds. I think he just needs something to calm him a bit. I feel so helpless.

 

[lemondog]

I wish I had an answer for you because I am going through the same thing with my 6yo first grader. Every morning she has a stomach ache, and gets very teary having to go into school. It breaks my heart. I know it's anxiety and I am pretty sure she is fine once she gets there, but it's still hard to watch. She also says she has no friends and no one likes her. She does get invited to birthday parties (still at that age where they invite all the girls or all the class) but never wants to go because she says she feels sick and no one likes her.

My best friend's son was dx with severe anxiety at age 7 and he actually has to take meds for it (prozac I think??). They don't like to medicate kids that young but he actually quit eating because he was afraid he was going to choke to death. He also sees a therapist. It's so hard for his mom to see him suffer like that, although the medicine has MAJORLY helped. And luckily no bad side effects like you see in some kids.

Good luck to you. I hope you can find some answers.

 

[Christine]

My best friend's son was dx with severe anxiety at age 7 and he actually has to take meds for it (prozac I think??). They don't like to medicate kids that young but he actually quit eating because he was afraid he was going to choke to death. He also sees a therapist.

This same thing happened to me when I was about 9 years old.

I went to spend the night at a friend's house. Her dad had throat cancer (I did not know this at the time). While there, he had a terrible choking episode and I'm not sure what happened but they had to send me home. After that I could barely swallow and couldn't eat meat. My mom finally took me in to our
GP who had to draw a diagram for me of the throat and bronchial tubes and how hard it is to actually choke. That one thing "cured" me. This was back before there were meds.

The funny thing is, I don't remember staying at this friend's house, I don't remember the choking episode. Nothing. My mom had to tell me about it all later.

 

[Christine]

Yes, he knows all those techniques...they don't seem to work. I called the school counselor this morning. She has been checking in on him at school and he appears happy and has friends. Really it's all in his head. My next step is to call about meds. I think he just needs something to calm him a bit. I feel so helpless.

I will tell you that I, too, "know all the techniques." For me, when you're in the middle of a freak out, they don't overly work. Maybe for some people they do.

I think the best thing with anxiety is to work out it when you are not anxious. That's hard to do because everything is going well, but practicing breathing, positive thoughts, and relaxation on a daily basis is what really helps in keeping the anxiety down. Proper rest is the biggest help for me. But I know for a child, this stuff is hard.

 

[Robinrs]

My son had sleep and anxiety issues until I took him to a nutritionist at age 10. It was an amazingly simple fix, he took him off white sugar.

Turns out he was allergic to one of the chemicals used to make sugar white.

I cannot tell you what a difference it made in his ability to focus!

 

[luvmy3]

My son had sleep and anxiety issues until I took him to a nutritionist at age 10. It was an amazingly simple fix, he took him off white sugar.

Turns out he was allergic to one of the chemicals used to make sugar white.

I cannot tell you what a difference it made in his ability to focus!

I can't believe you said this. My ds (almost 10) has anxiety issues and lately has become extremely moody and we have tried to pay attention to what he was eating before some of his episodes and narrowed it down to when he eats someting sugar-y. He also has many allergies, so I think I'm going to call his allergist and ask about being allergic to something in the sugar. Was your ds tested specifically for white sugar? Thanks for posting this for the OP.

OP, we have found that after enrolling my ds in martial arts he is able to handle his anxiety a bit better. He has low self esteem which of course has added to his anxiety, but he is one of the top students in his MA class and it has helped. He also has learned techniques to focus and (tries) to apply them when he needs to. He seems to be having a relapse so its not perfect, and it wasn't instant but he have done therapy before and we are trying to avoid medication but we are now at a point where we need to seriously consider it. Dh was always against it and I have finally convinced him that it may be the only thing that helps.

 

[Anjelica]

He may need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist to help determine if he needs to be on medication. I wasn't quite clear if the counselor was either of these hence my suggestion.

As a child/teenager who suffered depression and anxiety I only wish my parents had seen the early signs to get me help. I manage to cope without medication but it was EXTREMELY hard. Only when I was in my first year of college did I breakdown and see a psychiatrist and my doctor - it was one of the best decisions I ever made. They put me on medication and things dramatically changed for the better.

I'm not suggested medication will be the answer but from my personal experience it helped me.

 

[136368]

I'll second the endorsement for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Excellent stuff.

Anxiety medications for such a young child should be a last resort option.

 

[sparklynails23]

These stories break my heart, poor kids. OP, I will say that none of my kids' friends really call each other on a regular basis. They text. They talk on PS3. They Facebook (which I suggest your son stays away from, as nobody monitors if the kids are behaving). They only call each other to arrange specific meet-ups, get rides, or ask homework questions.

Is your son in sports? That really helps the kids bond and form groups. Otherwise, I guess you'll have to be his good friend. Take him (and a friend of his, maybe) bowling, to play laser tag, or to see movies.

 

[luvmy3]

Anyone here ever use neurofeedback? I have had this site bookmarked but haven't really researched it.

http://www.hvcnf.com/

 

[luvdzny]

My DD had similar issues when she was 10. She worried about a lot of non-existent problems. (i.e. - did she say something mean to her friend, will everybody hate because of something she did, etc.) She would worry so much that she could not even play with her friends because she was afraid that she would do something wrong. We found out she had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. She spent 3 weeks in a hospital treatment program for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, this helped a little but not enough. She ended up on an SSRI antidepressant medication. It was a VERY hard choice, but she was not living a normal life without the meds. We tried 3 different medications with no luck, but the 4th one works for her. She is 21 and still takes it. She has tried to wean off of it but she just can't function without it.
Good luck with your son, I know how hard it is when your child is suffering and you can't fix it. I hope you find an answer soon.