Another OT topic. Anyone "redshirt" their child for kdg?

[summermac]

Hahahaha, okay I hate that term but that seems to be what they're calling it these days.

My son will be 5 in June. He's a small kid and probably will be smaller his entire life. Both DH & I are small people. My DH doesn't even weigh 130 lbs.

Honestly though it's not about the size as much as it his I worry about his maturity level. He's very independent & very loving as well as pretty smart, at least I think so. But he still cries at preschool dropoff and we're in our 2nd year. During their two programs they've had so far this year, he's hidden and cried and thing is, he's not a shy kid. It's weird.

I'm trying to figure out what to do and I'd like any & all opinions! Thanks.

 

[GoofyG]

My sons birthday is inMay. He is still young but I plan on watching him. Right now if you ask me, Yes I'm going to hold him back. Most boys do better when their birthdays are that late and you wait to star them in swchool. I would feel better knowing my son is older and not so young when he graduates. It's all up to you, you know youre son the best!

 

[laughinplace199]

Have you spoken with his preschool teachers? My oldest two kids were both June babiesand I wondered about them going to Kindergarten as well. Their preschool was a 2 yr program and the teachers did a screening test in March of the second year to see if the kids were ready for Kindergarten. Both of my kids went on to Kindergarten at 5 and have done fine. DD is now 9 and in the 4th grade & DS is now 7 and in 2nd grade. They are also small for their age, but it hasn't been an issue. Good luck!

 

[pfp258]

As an early childhood educator I would suggest your start by asking your sons pre-school teachers. Emotional development is just as important as cognitive and physical develpoment. Holding a child back to ensure they are more physically ready for sports is not a reason to hold back a child.

 

[summermac]

It has nothing to do with sports. Heck he can run circles around older kids at soccer. And he's awesome at baseball, at least that's what ppl tell me.

I am just worried about his maturity. Like he still "spits" all the time. He will make car noises and "spit" if that makes any sense. He's doing it right now in fact.

 

[pfp258]

Most public schools have screening available before kdg. You might want to start there.
Not knowing your child it is hard to say if his behavior is just immaturity or something that needs a little more attention.

 

[crzy4my2]

My son missed the cut of by a few weeks. I could of had him tested and pushed for him to start Kindy. He turned 5 sept 23rd(2 yrs ago).. but now I am SOOOO glad that he had to wait another year to go into Kindergarten. He is so much more advanced and mature. He is on of the oldest in his 1st grade class but his teacher gives him 2nd and 3rd grade books to read. I think keeping him back and not pushing for him to start at 5 was the best thing. Now my DD turned 5 last July. She is one of the youngest and she is very NEEDY. I do worry about her being able to move to 1st grade. but we sit with her everynight and go over reading, spelling and math to get her ready..if we have to keep her back then we have too.

 

[mombare]

It really is encouraged around here - to hold back those kids (especially boys) who have summer birthdays. It has everything to do with emotional development, and most boys need that extra year. There are boys in my DD's kindergarten class that really should have been held back. Those that turned 6 the summer before K are so much better adjusted! I have heard people on these boards who get angry at other parents that do it, but I would not even hesitate! Again - encouraged around here. The teachers know how that year can make a difference!
On a side note...there is one boy in her class that has a March birthday, and they held him back just so he could be good in sports. He is twice the size of most of the class, and is just plain bored. He is constantly in trouble...the class bully, essentially. It was just wrong, and hopefully his parents recognize that now. His mom works at the school...asked his teacher if she thought he had ADHD. The teacher just said "no". He has behavior problems because he is bored and really should be with kids his own age!! Very frustrating! The teacher has to stop her lessons almost daily because he is so disruptive...and my DD gets angry because then they can't do some of the other fun stuff.

 

[Carlyzmom]

My son turned 5 on Aug. 16. We could have started him, but didn't for maturity reasons. I know it was the right thing. He is already doing so much better this year. He doesn't give me much trouble at all about going to pre K. Last year he cried every day and begged not to go. I know this extra year will help him grow up and make going to Kindergarten not so traumatic.

 

[DisneyNic]

My DSs bday is Aug 30 meaning that for our school district, he just misses the Sept 1 cutoff. He is only 3, but for right now, I am planning on holding him back. Even though he is doing really well in preschool right now, I just don't see him being ready in any which way for kindergaten when he is 5. My DH has a May bday and he was held back. He is so grateful that he was. He struggled a little in school and it would have been so much worse had he been sent to Kindergarten the year before.

 

[2girlsR2good]

Do any of the schools or preschools in your town offer something called a "transitional kindergarten?" These are designed for children just like your son, the right age, but readiness is questionable. Some also accept children who have just missed the cutoff, but seem ready for more than preschool. The differences are:
Often, the teacher student ratio is lower than in a regular kindergarten. The curriculum is designed to be very flexible academically. Children are encouraged, but not pushed to develop skills such as phonemic awareness (different from phonics), fine-motor skills, socialization, school "skills" (circle time, taking turns, etc).

At the end of the year at the school where I work, about 1/3 of the kids go on to first grade, the other 2/3 go to regular kindergarten. By March, the teachers know who is headed where and spend time prepping those going on to first grade so that they are ready.

Some programs are half day, some are full day. It sounds like your son might really benefit from this type of program. Check around your town, some of the private schools or church based schools in our town offer this, but none of the public schools.

I am all for approaching kindergarten cautiously for younger boys, but remember that the flip side is having a 19 year old still in high school. That can (not will, but can) present another set of issues.

Good luck

 

[Whipperwhirl]

My DS turns 5 Sep 4th - our districts cut of is Dec 31st - I am still not letting him go. He is not ready - I sent DD when she was 4 and I had to keep her back in 1st grade for no other reason than maturity - the school did not want to do it - once they are in and doing "OK" academically - its much harder to get them that extra year. Whip

 

[chrisw127]

My son has a late August birthday and we held him back. It was the smartest thing we've ever done. Really. He's halfway through kindergartent his year and he is doing so well. He just wasn't ready last year.

He was only about 10 days from the cut off, but here it's very strongly encouraged to hold them back, even spring birthdays in some cases. I'd say our son is in the middle of his class age-wise. I can't imagine how tough it would have been to be the youngest.

One friend gave me a really hard time about this and I finally realized that it's fine for her to say what she wants (her kid had a Feb birthday) but in the end, our family was going to be dealing with the repurcussions, not her.

I'm so glad we made the decision we did.

 

[mollyseven]

wow I can't believe cut off in september/august.
Our kids have jr. kindergarten which they go to when they turn 4...as long as they are 4 by december 31st.
then sr. kindergarten the year they turn 5...again as long as they are 5 by dec.31st.
grade 1 when they are 6.....same thing.
jr and sr Kindergarten is every mon/wed and every other friday all days or tues/thurs and every other fridays

my daughter was 3 (december baby) and supposed to go to jr kindergarten...we waited and just put her into sr. kindergarten the following year ... she was still with her regular grade and has always been the youngest of the class. I wished cut off was sept. and she would've waited...but hey.

 

[MnMomW3Boys]

My son missed the cut off by 5 days here, and I was so sad at first because he was ready to go to school. He had been in pre-school for two years. I found a school that did a Young 5's program geared for children that either just missed the cut off or had late summer birthdays. The schedule was similar to 1/2 kindergarten (which is what is offered at our school) and it followed a kindergarten ciriculum, (yes I know that it is spelled wrong). He is in Kindergarten this year, and doing very well. As others said only you know what is best for your child, but holding him back one year can only help him.
Also the size of a child should not be a reason that you hold back a child, but if sports are in your childs future there is nothing wrong with it being a consideration.

 

[mrstomrice]

I say to go with your gut! It would be a shame to send him if he isn't ready emotionally. You will only be doing him a favor in my opinion. Good luck with your decision!

 

[megthewonderful]

My son will be 5 at the end of September and I plan on sending him to kindergarten in the fall. I have spoken to his preschool teachers since kindergarten registration is just around the corner, and they told me to go with my gut. They thought he might have a little bit of adjustment problems with having less free time/ playtime, but they think he will be ready otherwise. He actually goes to preschool 3 days a week now for 3 hours and kindergarten is only 2 1/2 hours. I think he will do just fine in the fall.

 

[daleswife]

My DS is only 2 but his bday is at the end of November and It bothers me that my school district wont let him go when hes 4 (turning 5 that november). We have been working with him for a while now and it just seems to me that he will be way ahead of other kids in his kindergarten class if he waits until he's almost 6 to go. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

 

[MJAJmom]

The cutoff here in TX is to be age 5 by Aug 31 to enter kindergarten. My son has an Aug 3 bday and we decided to hold him. I struggled horribly with the decision, but now I am so glad that I held him. The gift of another year was wonderful for him. He is more focused now, is very helpful in the class, is eager to learn and behaves very well. He fits in with all the other kids in the class and I'm very comfortable with him being the oldest in the class. Especially when he'll be moving on into middle and high school.

There are several things to consider....

- What does his preschool teacher recommend? They usually do assessments of personality, learning capabilities, ability to focus and sit still, follow directions, be independent.
- How long is your kindergarten class?? Our kindergarten is a full 5 days from 7:45am to 2:45pm. It's a long day for them and they are expected to behave themselves from start to finish. Some states have half days.
- What are the class sizes of your school? This year due to neighborhood growth, our K classes are at state capacity of 22 students. With 1 teacher!!!
- What are the expectations of K?? Our elementary is top rated and they are expected to be reading in kindergarten. They do art/music/PE as well as spanish and computer. As well as writing/copying stories by year end. It's brutal. My son would not be able to handle all that a year ago. He was having a hard time writing, holding scissors, cutting. He had poor fine motor skills, but great social skills.
- What can your son do? Does he know letters, letter sounds, numbers? Can he write well holding a pencil? Can he manage his lunchbox? Is he totally independent in the bathroom (buttoning, zipping, wiping). Can he sit still for 10 minutes, listining to stories, following directions, be social with other without outbursts.
- Talk to the counselors and K teachers at his elementary school. Have them meet your son and evaluate him. I met several times with the counselor and talked with K teachers. We met over the summer to evaluate my son, and the K teacher's recommendation was to hold him.
- Talk to some folks on the PTA, some will have kids that are now in 5th grade, middle school and high school. Ask for their inputs about how they felt on holding their sons or pushing them through.

I am so pleased at my son's progress in K so far, and so glad that I held him. There are 3 other boys in the class that were held back.

In our K class, there are 2 boys that are way too young, immature and totally disruptive to the class. They cannot sit still, they do not follow directions, they cry every day at dropoff, they talk all the time, and are put in time out numerous times each day, but it still does not help. These 2 would have done much better by being held back and allowed to mature for a year.

I think the most important factor is how emotionally ready they are, how independent they can be, and can they focus and follow directions.

It's such a hard decision. But only you know what is best for your son. And only you will have to live with that decision. Some boys with summer birthdays do just fine entering K. Some boys with March birthdays need to be held.

Best of luck to you in your decision process.

 

[notsosnowwhite]

We redshirted our oldest and I am so glad that I did. I am thankful that we gave him the gift of time. It was 100% based on his emotional readiness - his academics were through the roof but socially he was timid and quiet. At home he was outgoing, but in groups he got lost in the shuffle and was very unsure of himself. Now he is blooming. A kindergarten teacher gave a presentation on readiness at our Kindergarten round up and I really felt it hit home - not every child is ready at their fifth birthday.