Another in(s)ane moment with Q

[April in Disney]

My Doll! Abusive people look for any excuses to ruin other's happiness when they are miserable! Don't let him! He is nothing more than an empty soul! Yoho Yoho empty!!!

 

[hdmonkeybug]

Q I am so sorry for what happened to you. My family went through years and years of the same kind of behavior from my sister(she once tried to beat my head in with a hockey stick), who was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since she has been on meds, things have been so much better. I hope that there is also a solution for your brother. I am so glad that you are still able to find your sense of humor while all of this is going on. Laughter is so important!

Congrats on your awesome tag! And I will laugh everytime I go into the treasure room now!

 

[Peri]

All your dis friends are with you here, Q - you can have a great holiday anyway! And your yo ho empty is a super story!

Wishing you well!!

 

[BriarRosie]

Wow, I was going to comment on how funny "yoho empty" was when I saw
the other commentary about your brother. I'm sorry you had to deal with
it, and your family should be apologizing to you for letting him get that far.

I've also been in the middle of family politics, but thankfully is wasn't MY
family. (We had our Hanukkah party on Sunday night with good times.)

My incident occured at my brother's house one Thanksgiving a few years
ago. The person that inspired my ire was not related to me! My brother's
wife has a brother with a wife who is really passive aggressive. She's
always gotten her way with things, and she and my SIL's brother were
VERY rude to me the year before, but I let it go.

(The rudeness recap: My SIL's brother and his wife have issues when my
SIL's family and my family try to mingle at the same table. They are wacky
that way. They were in one of the dining areas when I sat down at the
same long dining table, but not even close to them. They picked up their
plates and moved to the table in the other dining area. Yes, they left me
by myself, as we were the first people to get food.)

So I had issues already going into this particular Thanksgiving. My SIL
decided to force the issue that year by having people pick randomly for
Table #1 or Table #2. Because the brother and SIL had no control over
the situation, they were really mad, and I overheard them griping. In order
to get one of her sons to sit with them at our table, she was having him
sit on her lap, juggling his plate. I was so disgusted by her blatant
disregard for my brother's wife's rules, I was the ONLY person who spoke up
to defend my SIL.

I actually blurted out to her son, "What are you, a baby?", but I should have
directed the comment to the mother and said "He's not a baby, why are you
treating him like one?" (I later apologized to the kid privately.) After the
"How DARE you speak to my child that way!" moment, I had enough. I said
that he could have MY spot at the table. I picked up my plate (shades of
the previous year!) and told Passive Agressive Woman that her son could
have my seat, as I couldn't stand to even LOOK at her. (Go me!)

Ok, I felt badly that I caused a scene, but she had it coming! And my
brother's wife (who is a great SIL btw) was not mad at me, telling me that
she appreciated that I would stand up to her because even her Mom and Dad
wouldn't say boo to their daughter-in-law.

We had separate Thanksgivings after that, but recently the families merged
again for some birthday or holiday not that long ago. We're civil and I keep
my distance from this woman.

My mom hates it when I speak my mind, but there's only so much of
turning the other cheek before I will just let it fly and tell someone just
what I think of their bad behavior.

 

[qruthie]

Oh Briar, that is so rude. I'm glad you stood up for your SIL! People like that passive aggressive woman DO have it coming to them.

I believe the reason my brother was being a super jerk is because my mother invited some non-family members to the party. My mother does this every year. She invited the teenage girl she babysits for and a ten year old girl who lives across the street. The teenage girl has cerebral palsy and is mentally about 18 months old. My mother adores her and loves her as if she is one of her own children. That angers my brother to no end. The little girl has befriended my mother and my mother had some gifts for her so she invited her to the party. That infuriated my brother. To make things more complicated, the little girl has the same name as my brother's wife. I'm sure my brother stewed over this for several days, that's his nature.

My brother suffered a severe head injury about 10 years ago that has caused him to be even more violent. He and his wife are major drunks and have been beating each other up since before they were married. He has been arrested for beating her, ironically for an incident where he didn't beat her, she started beating him while he was sleeping and when he woke up he shoved her away. She called 911 and he was arrested because she had a red mark somewhere from when he shoved her. As a result of that, she had a restraining order against him and he had to attend mandatory anger management classes for something like 6 months. He has had to be escorted from his job on occasion for threatening to punch his boss. I'm been afraid of him for years but became terrified of him a couple of years ago when he directed one of his violent verbal outbursts in my direction. After that, I vowed I would never allow him to treat me like that again and if he tried to, I would call 911.

So, he and his wife showed up for the family Christmas party already drunk. At some point my mother reminded him that he wasn't to swear (he drops f-bombs in pretty much every sentence he speaks) because the girl with cerebral palsy tends to learn new words and then repeats them over and over again. My mother had asked all of us to watch our language, but he reacted as if she had singled him out and decided she had told him he couldn't speak.

The gifts were handed out and my mother's favorite "grandchild" who wasn't able to attend the party this year due to her school schedule had given each of the kids a candy bar along with two lottery scratch tickets. My mother gave each of the kids an envelope with a ten dollar bill in it. Despite being told otherwise, my sister-in-law decided those two gifts which were intended for the little girl were for her. "They have MY name on them, they're MINE!" She just wouldn't give the gifts to the little girl! Finally she gave her the candy bar but kept the scratch tickets and money. Then someone must have convinced her to hand over the scratch tickets. At that point my brother went ballistic. He yelled at the little girl and called her all sorts of mean names. Needless to say, the little girl was terrified and sobbing. That made me start sobbing and then my brother came back to yell at her some more. He told her she wasn't even supposed to be there and she had ruined his whole Christmas. Then he threw some money at her and told her to go back to her welfare house. I hid behind one of my other brothers during all that because I knew my brother would go after me if he saw me sobbing and showing sympathy for the little girl. Then my brother left but soon returned and started yelling at his wife. I lost it at that point and yelled for him to, "Get the f-bomb out of the house! Just leave!" He asked who said that and I said, "Me. Get the f-bomb out! Go!" He started toward me so I got out of my hiding spot and moved toward him. It wasn't to have a closer confrontation, it was because my 1 year old niece was between us and I didn't want her to get hurt if my brother tried to hit me. That's when he lunged at me. Witnesses said he was going for my throat. All I know is his hands were in my face so I bit one of them in self-defense. Meanwhile most of the family was trying to restrain him and my mother was yelling for me to lock myself in the bathroom because he wouldn't be able to get me there. Instead, I hid in her bedroom and called 911.

So there you have it, the whole confrontation took place because my brother was upset because my mother invited a neighborhood child to attend the party and my sister-in-law acted like a selfish little brat over a bar of chocolate, two lottery scratch tickets and $10. They are both drunken idiots and don't deserve to have a family. The sickening thing is, they have kids and those kids have to live with nightly and weekend long, drunken fights.

My mother and I talked on the phone this morning and I reminded her about how my brother used to invite his friends over to the party every Christmas! He stopped doing that at most 5 years ago and as I understand it, the reason was because he and they had had a falling out and are no longer friends. We always welcomed his (drunk) friends with open arms and even bought gifts for them! I guess it's okay for him to invite friends.

I told my mother I don't want the family to feel like they have to take sides in the matter. I am volunteering to not attend family gatherings so this won't happen again. I was finally able to tell my mother why I have been avoiding my brother for the past couple of years and why I don't come to visit her. I'm afraid of him and I am terrified of meeting up with him. I hadn't wanted to tell her because it would have upset her a lot and she would have tried to talk to him and "fix" things.

My mother also gave a bit of information that makes things a bit easier on me. My father was in the process of calling 911 but didn't finish placing the call because I had already called.

I'm sorry this is so long and so off topic. Thank you for letting me vent and for all the hugs, prayers, good thoughts and wishes you have sent my way. It really does help!

YoHoEmpty!

 

[Idol_Fan]

Q im sooooo glad you are alright! Your brothers wife seems like the most bratiest person on earth!
I hope someday you can look back on it an laugh!

 

[mom2cookies]

stretching my arms WAAAAAAYY out to surround you in love whereever you are.

As much as i feel for you i feel just as badly for those children...it will effect them 1 way or another and the circle of violence will continue.

 

[CinderellaWannab]

So sorry your holiday with family did not go well. My dad was the one to explode. I feel for your brothers kids. What your brother does is never your fault. Don't blame yourself. Many hugs my friend.
Hope to see you in the mansion. I need alot of credits too.

 

[FlyingPegasus]

Oh my friend I am sorry you had to go through this. Thankfully all my drunken relatives have moved away. I do remember one Thanksgiving where the whole turkey ended up on the floor, and someone brought one pack of 8 rolls for 24 people...argh..relatives-you can't pick them and you can't shoot them....


I will definitely try your YOHO Empty! That sure sounds funny!


Oh, and by the way, seeing how I just got my second degree black belt, remind me to show you some simple, but effective, one-step self-defense moves. We can practice them while we are waiting in line to get on the rides. I am sure Sea will let us borrow Out (I promise I won't hurt him) for the occasion

Many hugs my friend! Hope to see you soon!