Another Christmas thread..

[DVCLiz]

We all know money and the lack of it a can be a huge source of stress in a family and I'm sure Christmas only makes things worse.

But sometimes I wonder if the "less fortunate" aren't really better off because they don't have as much so they might appreciate it more?

This is "poor" reasoning, I think. Would you want to be a poor family and have someone say to you, "Aren't you glad you're poor because if someone throws a scrap of something your way you'll appreciate it a whole lot more than that family that got the plasma TV?"

The "less fortunate" might be better off in the sense of not being caught up in a race for more material possessions, with the effect of spending more time together as a family, but I don't think anyone would volunteer to be the family to test out your theory.

 

[mommaU4]

This is "poor" reasoning, I think. Would you want to be a poor family and have someone say to you, "Aren't you glad you're poor because if someone throws a scrap of something your way you'll appreciate it a whole lot more than that family that got the plasma TV?"

The "less fortunate" might be better off in the sense of not being caught up in a race for more material possessions, with the effect of spending more time together as a family, but I don't think anyone would volunteer to be the family to test out your theory.

That's not what I meant at all.

In the next paragraph in my post I made reference to my own nieces and nephews who are bombarded with gifts every year. 35-40 gifts each and that's just from their parents. Does not include other relatives.

They don't appreciate it. They just don't. They don't say thank-you and half the toys are lost or broken with in weeks. And they are old enough to know better.

What I wondered about is that any family, rich or poor, who recieves such excess do they really appreciate it? I think when you recieve less you appreciate more. My kids do not recieve huge amounts of gifts and they appreciate everything and take good care of it. Too much is just not a good idea for any family even if they do have the means to buy the whole toy store.

 

[mommaU4]

This is "poor" reasoning, I think. Would you want to be a poor family and have someone say to you, "Aren't you glad you're poor because if someone throws a scrap of something your way you'll appreciate it a whole lot more than that family that got the plasma TV?"

BTW, the kids and I go every year to the toy store and buy very nice gifts to donate to the Salvation Army as well as stocking up on canned goods when they are on sale to donate as well.
I never said anything about throwing "scraps" at them.

 

[we3disneygo]

let their be peace this Christmas..........

 

[Kermit]

I think you're also missing a third option, that someone works very hard in a low paying job in a high cost of living area and still can't really get ahead. Hard work does not always equal financial prosperity, and there are a HUGE number of working poor. I don't think their attitude fits neatly into any one category either. You could be generally OK with life and the frustrated at the holidays because you work so hard but still can't afford to give your kids the things they want. It doesn't make you a petty person with a chip on your shoulder to be a little bitter that you can't give your kids everything you wish you could especially when you ARE working your tail off.

I should have mentioned in my original post that there are a lot of other reasons that people could be poor. I certainly didn't mean to imply that those were all the reasons--I was just hitting on some of the major ones, particularly the ones where a bigger percentage of the people in them would feel similarly about the holidays. That's another good example of a reason that people would be poor, but it's harder to predict how those people would feel about Christmas.

 

[Michie]

That's not what I meant at all.

In the next paragraph in my post I made reference to my own nieces and nephews who are bombarded with gifts every year. 35-40 gifts each and that's just from their parents. Does not include other relatives.

They don't appreciate it. They just don't. They don't say thank-you and half the toys are lost or broken with in weeks. And they are old enough to know better.

What I wondered about is that any family, rich or poor, who recieves such excess do they really appreciate it? I think when you recieve less you appreciate more. My kids do not recieve huge amounts of gifts and they appreciate everything and take good care of it. Too much is just not a good idea for any family even if they do have the means to buy the whole toy store.

This is sorta what I meant...somewhat. My kids have enough, so do me and the Dh. We ask our family members not to buy them anything, but instead buy for a needy child.

 

[Michie]

What often happens is that the parent tries to fulfill these wished to the detriment of the family budget. Come January there is no $$ for rent, other bills, food.

.

What is the difference between that and people who are middle class income and max out there credit cards just to buy gifts, and take all year, or several years just to pay that off? To me there is not any difference.

 

[DVCLiz]

BTW, the kids and I go every year to the toy store and buy very nice gifts to donate to the Salvation Army as well as stocking up on canned goods when they are on sale to donate as well.
I never said anything about throwing "scraps" at them.

MommaU4, I didn't mean you personally, and I think it's very nice of you to be so generous at Christmas time.

I don't think people who have less automatically appreciate things more, though. I think most people who have less wish desperately that they had more.

There does seem to be a point at which gift-giving becomes too much, though. But that's an individual choice made by each family, depending not only on economic means, but also family traditions and other factors.

From your post, it sounds like your niece and nephew are simply spoiled or haven't been taught any manners, while your children sound like they have been taught to be polite and appreciate their gifts. But I don't think it's just a function of the number of gifts - if you've raised your children to be grateful, they still will be even if a Toys R Us truck pulls up on Christmas morning and unloads the whole store in your front yard. I think it's just a matter of the way the parents have raised their children.

 

[aprilgail2]

This is sorta what I meant...somewhat. My kids have enough, so do me and the Dh. We ask our family members not to buy them anything, but instead buy for a needy child.

I feel that way about my daughters birthday since its in Nov and she gets so much for her birthday I am out of things to get her for Christmas!....this year she is taking 5 things she got for her birthday and donating them to a local toy drive I work with. I don't care what she picks but she is picking 5- I know 3 right off the top because they are Bratz dolls and I don't allow her to have those little streetwalker looking dolls...she could have returned them to the store and gotten something else but I want her to give things up for others...next year I will try to up it to 6 gifts.....she has a birthday party with 20 kids there...so she gets 20 gifts...I don't think its to much to ask her to give up 5 or 6 of them...

 

[JennaTX]

I agree with what a lot of people have already posted.

There may be some "poor" people who live in small communities who are completely happy with their lives and probably do have a more true Christmas than those who get caught up in the entire "season".

But I could not imagine not being able to buy my children Christmas gifts. And the thought of having to decide between rent and a present for my child would be the worst! Which is why we donate many gifts each year to Toys for Tots and also adopt a family at our local YMCA.

I have already started buying more gifts to donate this year, because in Houston we have so many new "residents" from hurricane Katrina, that I know the need will be even greater here this year.

I have been guilty the last 6 years (since I had my first child) of buying too much for my children, and the only excuse I have is that I want to give my children the best.

I don't think that is particularly wrong as long as they are not spoiled, which they are not. While they may have many extras, they know that others do not, and that we should help others, and most importantly that they should appreciate what they have.

In the end, give what you can during the holiday season. There are so many who need it, not just the children, but mom and dad also!