Anonymous "Dear Neighbor" letter

[Abbigator]

This is kind of budget related since lawn care in my area is outrageously priced. I am so pi**ed right now I can't stand it. I received an anonymous letter today from a neighbor. It stated "As you know spring is here and it is time to clean up your yard. So please mow and get rid of the weeds, edge along the drive and sidewalk and flowerbeds. Be proud of your new home and considerate of those who live around you. Thank you." We just mowed our grass a week ago and our shrubs need to be trimmed and there are a couple, literally, of weeds in the flowerbeds. We have several rosebushes that just got to the point of needing to be trimmed back, but I haven't researched yet the best way to trim them. We have not bought a weedeater yet, our old one was stolen at our previous home. So we haven't edged as we don't have an edger either. My husband had a total hip replacement on March 31, he just went back to work after not working since the beginning of March, so we have really cut back on our spending. Add that to the fact that since his hip replacement he can't do much in the yard so all of the laundry and inside of the house is mine to do as well as the yard. He is now working at a commission only jobs so we still need to watch our spending. We recently received a flier from a neighbor who has a landscaping business and charge 150/month with a year contract and these are small yards. If this concerned letter writer had made an effort to get to know us since we moved into this home in October, they might know all of this and maybe would have offered to help out when my husband. We also have 4 children, which makes it difficult to spend a lot of time to have a perfect yard. I think we obviously moved into the snobbiest neighborhood in town. Another neighbor received a note on his car for parking in the cul-de-sac. "That is why you bought a house with a garage. Use it" UGGHHH. But my thing is, Yes I realize our yard could look better, and I see that every day. And we are working on it. But we have other issues, including my husband's recovery from his surgery, his change of jobs, child care issues, and my recent identity theft that are taking precedence. And our yard does not really look bad, and there are other homeowners who haven't edged their yards. I'm sure that the concerned neighbor let them know about it too....Well, just wanted to vent

 

[happygirl]

I'm so mean and spiteful. After I got that letter my grass would be ten foot tall and I would have friends come and park there cars in the culd sac

 

[jollytammy]

They did what So sorry

 

[C.Ann]

You have to deal with your own priorities.. Ignore the busybody..

 

[6Smiles]

I am so sorry to hear you have anonymous neighbors who care more about what the properties look like than the people who live inside those same said properties! Wow you have gone through a lot lately! I hope things get better in the future for you and your family...in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[NicRI]

I've got neighbors like that. They actually sit outside and watch us work. All the while making comments as to how we can do things better. Yeah, I've got parents.... don't need you too!

 

[Abbigator]

Thanks guys. That makes me feel so much better. I think I should copy this post and the responses and post it at all of the mailbox banks in the neighborhood.

 

[rainy~daze]

you can get old toilet and put it in the yard with a sign that says
suggestion box.
who cares what some little weasel thinks, especially when they haven't got the guts to tell you who they are. if they think it looks so bad they can ante up for it to get done or do it themselves.

 

[ceecee]

My neighbor works for the city and I've gotten letters about a pool in my yard (a kid's pool that was 8" deep, city allows 24" w/o permit) after his kid's were over to play and he told me if it were up to him there would be no pools in whole town (he has an unfenced hottub, but that's different). Then I got a letter saying my yard had weeds. I called both times and talked to the guy who "signed" the letters (he didn't actual see either time) and when I told him to find a weed in my yard, he said they must have thought my nut tree was a weed, because it kind of looked like one! I was so mad!

 

[kathie859]

To the OP: IGNORE this method of communication. I can't think of a situation where this would be an acceptable way to interact with a neighbor

In my neighborhood, like most others, we have the overachievers whose yards are pristine, the occasional homeowner who really doesn't do much other than cut the grass and the vast majority (ME) who are somewhere in the middle. When you're busy with family matters and surviving the daily grind--who really cares if your lawn is "edged"?

I'm a believer in "live and let live". If someone else is so tightly wound up that MY yard bothers them, it's THEIR problem--not mine.

 

[Taja]

We have a very nosey-parker neighbor who does much the same thing. I'm solo and have to watch my pennies. To be honest, if I had to buy my home today, I couldn't afford it! And that's after the real estate bubble burst and homes devalued 30 to 40% *LOL*

I wasn't the recipient this time (I'm sure my time will come again ), the neighbors across the street received it. It's an elderly couple and their son, who is a few years younger than I am. Mom (who is 82) still works full time; dad is 86 and has been completely disabled for about 20 years, and son works full time and takes care of his parents. Needless to say, their yard tends to look less than perfect at times, too. This is one of those times.

Most of us have desert landscaping, and weeds periodically crop up. And we spend a lot of time and money trying to contain them. And most of us can't afford weekly landscaping and weed/pest control services. So we do our best and usually it's good enough. We have 12 homes on our street, and probably 7 of us struggle year round to maintain the landscaping--the others have larger families and require the children to help or hire outside services.

Does the person who reprimands--and occasionally turns neighbors in to the city--ever offer to help? The rest of us try to band together and at least help maintain the front yards a bit when we know someone is ill or injured (I've been the recipient twice and thankfully am able to pass on the favours!). We may not be able to do a lot, but 10 or 15 minutes here and there by four or five people does make a difference. Still not perfect, but it looks downright respectable!

Do you ever wonder if some people just have too much time on their hand?

 

[IMissEd]

You can not control the things people do or say to you. You can only control your reaction to them.
So, try to ignore the letter and do what you would be doing anyway. Which I'm sure would be to mow the yard when you've got time. Family first, right? That's how it should be.

p.s. - I wonder if the neighbor who has a landscape business may be trying to drum up some business........hmmmm........

 

[audrabolster]

Ignore it. If someone doesn't have the balls to sign their name to it, don't even acknowledge it. There are people that like to play neighborhood watch because they have nothing better to do.

This happened to my mother once, and she typed up a letter and gave one to every neighbor- basically telling them that unless they come directly to her about anything, she's not going to do anything they request (they wanted her hedges to be trimmed shorter- she had them trimmed weekly during summers for the overgrowth, but whoever left these notes to her wanted them to be shorter I guess)

 

[minkydog]

Anyone who sends a letter anonymously does not deserve one more second of your valuable time. This person is obviously a coward. Do what you can to keep your yard pleasing to yourself and forget the rest.

When DH went through a devastating illness a few years ago, everything at our house went to pieces. Instead of my neighbors complaining, we had help coming out of our ears. Running errands, sweeping off the roof, cleaning out the gutters, taking the children to church. One guy even sent his landscaping guys over to keep the front yard from going completely wild--and he did it for a year!

I believe what goes around comes around. Let it go and know that Karma will take care of this idiot.

 

[disneymom3]

This sounds like something our association would do. I hate them.....

Ignore it. As long as you are not breaking any laws there is nothing they can do. Who cares what they think?

 

[8 Ears]

I like the toilet bowl idea!

 

[christa112]

OMG. I would be so furious if I got something like that. I PP said I would have my grass grow 10 feet tall!!! LOL I am very spitefull.

 

[aka-mad4themouse]

A letter like that would upset me terribly...for a while. Then I would get angry at the small-minded person who did it.

The unfortunate thing about it, is that it will be in the back of your mind everytime that you interact with one of your neighbors...was this the one who sent the letter?

I have no advise for you, OP, just a . Your life is complicated enough without this jerk adding to it.

 

[Karenj2]

If you live in a community with a homeowners association, you *could* be fined for non-compliance. (But, if you told them what you told us, they'd be heartless to actually fine you.)

We have tons of weeds because we unfortunately live near a field, and up until recently had a dead tree in our front yard (shock & horror!). Our neighbors park one of their cars on the street (a no-no acording to our HOA), and although it does annoy me, I'm not going to get on their case about it.

 

[polineedyan]

A "neighborly" neighbor would stop by and offer to do it for you. Or, as I have done, just mow your neighbor's yard and not say a word. Who would complain about that?
The letter thing is a cowardly thing to do. Kinda has you looking over your shoulder. But I WOULD. LOOK over your shoulder, see whos watching the neighborhood (it wont take long) and then approach them. Id give them a piece of my mind..Or..spray some weed killer when they arent watching. Help them out with their 'weeds' if ya know what I mean..jk..