Annoyed with family members . . .

[Tinkim]

The kids and I are taking a trip to WDW over February vacation. I talked to two of my sisters this week and I guess my mom mentioned the trip and they were both surprised that I was going without DH. They were shocked that I would take the kids to WDW "alone." My kids are DS12, DS10, and DD7. They have been to WDW twice and I have been three times. My DH works quite a bit so every summer I take the kids on vacation to DSIL's house which is a 4-1/2 hour drive to the middle of nowhere Maine. We take various trips during the summer without DH when he is working to the ocean, local amusement park, etc. A few of our friends and neighbors have had the same attitude when we discuss going on vacation. My kids are not monsters and are well behaved and know to stay with me in such a big place. I'm not sure where the concern comes from. I keep thinking "wow . . they must really think I am incompetent." My brother is taking my niece this Sat to WDW and I haven't heard the same comments about their vacation. I guess it just aggravates me because I am quite capable of taking care of my children at home or WDW or anywhere else. Single parents go to WDW all the time and I'm sure they are having a great time with the kids and are quite capable of handling the situations that do arise. Sorry to ramble but I guess it just aggravates me that my family and friends think I should be co-dependent on DH for every little thing. I am proud of the fact that I can do things on my own or with the kids even when DH can't go with us. DH is happy that we are going but he just can't take time off from work right now. I got married and had kids pretty young and I am happy that I have become secure enough to do things on my own because it didn't start out that way. Anyway rant over. . . just had to vent a bit.

 

[Noah122898]

Did you ever think that they were just surprised that you wanted to go on a vacation without your husband and it has nothing to do with you being incompetent? I think you may be overreacting, please don't get mad for my honesty. Have a great trip and who cares what other people think!!!!

 

[kpossible]

I know how it is with relatives and how you can go over and over in your mind their reactions to how you are living your life. If you don't like their opinion it's best not to talk about the trip with them. Just focus on you and the kids and how much fun you will have. I hope you have a great trip!!!

 

[Tinkim]

I probably am overreacting. One sister in particular annoys me on a regular basis. . . so I don't know why I am surprised. She just always has this negative attitude and it gets depressing to talk to her about anything. My best friend's DH passed away this year at 38 from cancer and two of my uncles passed away as well. I guess I was thinking life is short and the kids and I should have some fun together now before it is "uncool" to go to Disney with mom. Anyway, no offense taken at all. It's nice to have someone else's objective opinion.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Go on your trip and have a great time. They may just be jealous that they are not independent enough to take a vacation alone.

 

[Brian Noble]

To paraphrase a popular advice columnist: "Go back to the part where you asked them their opinion. Oh, you didn't? I see."

 

[Jillpie]

I don't think its an incompetent thing, I suspect they are feeling a little sorry for your husband staying home alone, without his family. I could not imagine going without my husband, so I just think its on those lines. Good for you for your independence! Have a ball.

 

[NeverBeentoDisney]

I am going in Feb and we just are not telling any family or friends till right before we leave because we do not want to be criticized at all about money or anything.. So we are just sharing with people we know will not judge us. I share it at work all day long...

 

[WaltD4Me]

I think some people just cannot conceive of going on a trip without their spouses.

My sister went to Chicago this weekend to visit a friend who just had a baby, she drove the five hours by herself and DH stayed home with her two girls. A friend of mine just could NOT believe she went by herself. She asked me a hundred times why my sister's DH didn't go, she just couldn't grasp the concept. Another friend of mine doesn't have kids, but goes on trips all the time without her DH because she is a teacher and off in the summer and he fixes air conditioning so that is his busy season! I can't tell you the comments she gets and how many times she has been asked if they are getting a divorce just because she goes on trips without him.
So maybe it isn't that they think that you are incompetent, it's just a totally foreign idea!

Lisa

 

[NMAmy]

I was a single mom for several years--and I'd say with kids that age-no problem!

Good for you for having such an understanding husband who supports you taking a vacation even when he can't come along. And good for you for not being so dependent that you wouldn't go without him.

My mom and my aunt used to take 5 kids across country in a motorhome every year for a summer vacation and leave the husbands at home to work. Frankly, I think my dad & my uncle got the better part of the deal on that one, though but we always had a great time.

Just pay no attention to what others say. You know what works for you and yours!

 

[fizz13]

I really wouldn't worry about it. At the end of the day, you're going to be having a great time with your kids, quality time, special moments for just mom and them which is something that will all be worth it afterwards. They are not baby age either so its not like you have to separate to do any rides. Just enjoy! My DH and I vacation seperately all the time while the other looks after the kids. That way, we both get a complete rest. A week in Mexico all-inclusive by myself was bliss, but you should have heard all the comments about being a bad mother for leaving my kids. Sorry, going off point.
Have a great time and much pixie dust to you and yours,
Claire

 

[Tinkim]

Thanks for all the replies. I feel better now. BTW don't feel sorry for DH. He has told people it will be a vacation for him having the whole house and TV to himself and quiet to boot! He is really okay with staying home. He likes Disney but not to the same extent that I do. He is perfectly happy going every couple of years but I would love to go once a year. He also will be able to take care of the dogs which is something that we stress over when we are all going on a vacation. The funny part about my sister is she and her husband don't spend much time together and don't get along well and she has gone on trips without him but when they do go together they are miserable. I'm perfectly happy to go on a vacation with DH and spend time together as a family but also willing to go and have a great time with the kids. I guess I just didn't know people were going to think I was weird! LOL

 

[Tinkim]

To paraphrase a popular advice columnist: "Go back to the part where you asked them their opinion. Oh, you didn't? I see."

So true Brian . . . so true!

 

[donac]

In 2002 my girlfriend and her three daughters and my son and I went and camped in Disney by ourselves while our husbands took our other sons to a boy scout camp in the keys. We had a great time. Her husband wanted nothing to do with Disney. My husband went to a couple of parks before he left and then did another day with us when he got back. Now we are worried because we all plan to go again this summer but we don't know how her husband will react. He hates crowds, yet he goes to a music festival every year which is wall to wall people.

Dona

 

[Tinkim]

Donac ~ My DH doesn't hate Disney but he tolerates it for me. I hope her DH will do the same for her. Maybe he will enjoy himself when he gets there . . . I know my DH does. Maybe he could have some time in the morning to read the paper or have a cup of coffee or do something he likes with less crowds and then meet everyone at the parks a little later. You never know he might convert to a Disney lover and be dragging you all around the park commando by the second day!