MeanLaureen
<font color=purple>Slam Dancer Extraordinaire<br><
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2001
- Messages
- 6,718
Good morning contestants! I apologize once more for my absense the last couple of days.. once I have a bad flare, there isn't much I can do other than to try to sleep my way through it.
I feel bad that I have kept you all in suspense, wondering who will have the honor of winning the first individual immunity challenge.
You all did an excellent job with your comedy entries and you are all very funny people.
There was a neck and neck race for first place and the winner only won by ONE point.. but the winner is...
DEMON LLAMA
for her story about "Cat Staring"
Lisa Loves Pooh came in a close second with her parody of Bohemian Rhapsody called "Birkenstock Rhapsody"
Congrats Demon Llama! You are safe this week!
The rest of you guys.. your entries will be going up on a poll for the DIS to vote on for their favorites. At the end of the poll, the bottom two entries will have to leave the game.
I'm getting your poll ready now.. while I am doing that, here is Demon Llama's winning entry!
This is Katy, our border collie. And Fisher, a cat on the edge.
Katy LIVES for one thing and one thing alone.
Cat Staring.
You havent heard of it?
Well, let me explain: the cat does whatever cats do. . . and Katy stares at it like it is the most fascinating thing she has ever seen, unable to peel her eyes away.
Cat lying on the couch? STARE. Cat walking? STARE. Cat eating? STARE. It NEVER stops. If the cat is in the house, Katy stares at it until it runs out of the house, half crazed.
Of three cats weve taken in, only Fisher remains.
Thats because this passive aggressive doggie game has SNAPPED the other two cats in the household.
And when I say snapped, I mean utterly, completely PSYCHOTIC.
What were once cuddly, lap kitties have turned into raving lunatics. The law of cat inertia has been broken. Whereas most cats at rest tend to stay at rest, a snapped cat needs nothing more than a whisper to send it into orbit.
And at blast off no one in the family is safe.
Each cat now has a twitch that causes it to randomly pounce from one large piece of furniture to the other, defying both the laws of gravity and physics, as it tries to leap from the top of the bookshelf, onto a counter, and out the door in one motion. This will now occur at random moments, with no logic whatsoever.
And typically this results in acrobatics previously reserved for only the most freakish circus contortionists. Things you never imagined the cat could get a grip on suddenly becomes uneven parallel bars. The cookbook, the back of the chair, the toddler.
This insane leaping behavior extends to anything that moves and most things that dont. Walk in to the room, and the snapped cat jumps out of its skin and onto the top of your head. Attempt to affectionately pet the snapped cat, expect full scale claws and bloodshed.
My husband, a cat-tolerator on the best of days, has endured the most bizarre behavior, since even unsnapped cats will instinctively be drawn to those who are uneasy in their presence.
The worst incident came in the shower, when the snapped cat went skidding across the countertop and slid itself, as if guided by a power greater than either my husband or the cat, INTO the shower currently occupied by said hubby in his birthday suit, lots of hot jets of water, and a frantic, wet cat suddenly unable to complete any of its heretofore flawless gymnastics.
The transcript of said incident is, understandably, omitted here on this family board.
Suffice to say, the scene that emerged from behind that plastic curtain was worthy of Southwest Airlines Wanna Get Away? campaign.
And Fisher: it is only a matter of time. This IS your future.
I feel bad that I have kept you all in suspense, wondering who will have the honor of winning the first individual immunity challenge.
You all did an excellent job with your comedy entries and you are all very funny people.
There was a neck and neck race for first place and the winner only won by ONE point.. but the winner is...
DEMON LLAMA
for her story about "Cat Staring"
Lisa Loves Pooh came in a close second with her parody of Bohemian Rhapsody called "Birkenstock Rhapsody"
Congrats Demon Llama! You are safe this week!
The rest of you guys.. your entries will be going up on a poll for the DIS to vote on for their favorites. At the end of the poll, the bottom two entries will have to leave the game.
I'm getting your poll ready now.. while I am doing that, here is Demon Llama's winning entry!
This is Katy, our border collie. And Fisher, a cat on the edge.
Katy LIVES for one thing and one thing alone.
Cat Staring.
You havent heard of it?
Well, let me explain: the cat does whatever cats do. . . and Katy stares at it like it is the most fascinating thing she has ever seen, unable to peel her eyes away.
Cat lying on the couch? STARE. Cat walking? STARE. Cat eating? STARE. It NEVER stops. If the cat is in the house, Katy stares at it until it runs out of the house, half crazed.
Of three cats weve taken in, only Fisher remains.
Thats because this passive aggressive doggie game has SNAPPED the other two cats in the household.
And when I say snapped, I mean utterly, completely PSYCHOTIC.
What were once cuddly, lap kitties have turned into raving lunatics. The law of cat inertia has been broken. Whereas most cats at rest tend to stay at rest, a snapped cat needs nothing more than a whisper to send it into orbit.
And at blast off no one in the family is safe.
Each cat now has a twitch that causes it to randomly pounce from one large piece of furniture to the other, defying both the laws of gravity and physics, as it tries to leap from the top of the bookshelf, onto a counter, and out the door in one motion. This will now occur at random moments, with no logic whatsoever.
And typically this results in acrobatics previously reserved for only the most freakish circus contortionists. Things you never imagined the cat could get a grip on suddenly becomes uneven parallel bars. The cookbook, the back of the chair, the toddler.
This insane leaping behavior extends to anything that moves and most things that dont. Walk in to the room, and the snapped cat jumps out of its skin and onto the top of your head. Attempt to affectionately pet the snapped cat, expect full scale claws and bloodshed.
My husband, a cat-tolerator on the best of days, has endured the most bizarre behavior, since even unsnapped cats will instinctively be drawn to those who are uneasy in their presence.
The worst incident came in the shower, when the snapped cat went skidding across the countertop and slid itself, as if guided by a power greater than either my husband or the cat, INTO the shower currently occupied by said hubby in his birthday suit, lots of hot jets of water, and a frantic, wet cat suddenly unable to complete any of its heretofore flawless gymnastics.
The transcript of said incident is, understandably, omitted here on this family board.
Suffice to say, the scene that emerged from behind that plastic curtain was worthy of Southwest Airlines Wanna Get Away? campaign.
And Fisher: it is only a matter of time. This IS your future.
