Angry Parents on Social Media

[tex1989]

So my wife worked in schools for 14 years before she retired. She was a registrar and attendance clerk. She enjoyed working with the kids and misses them but not the job. Also our kids are both grown and graduated from college so we have no dog in the fight so to speak. We have a 6 month old grandson but he's not ready for school yet.

So I say these things to set the stage because I am at this point just an observer and thus have no actual current experiences to share. My wife worries everyday and says something to me at least a couple times a day about the kids that are not eating properly with no school in session. Many kids at her school got breakfast and lunch at school. Many of her kids did not have home computers and she knows they are not getting any teaching as a result. She knows the kids that are already at risk are just falling further behind than they already were.

At the same time she has a lot of Facebook Friends that are teachers and administrators and while it may seem inappropriate they share the memes and postings about parents saying they are having issues teaching at home. Ones that joke they want to transfer the kid out of their class but it's their own kid and they are stuck at home with them. I remember stories my wife would tell me about parents who would literally tell her and anyone else in earshot that it was the schools responsibility to teach their children not only their core subjects but discipline and responsibility as well but do none of that themselves at home. As far as online platforms to use for instruction, sure they are out there but they were never planned to be the only way to teach all the kids. Teachers are underpaid, schools are under funded and you can reasonably expect them to be prepared for a pandemic? No one else was so why should we expect schools to be?

So given all that do I expect people to be complaining on social media? Heck yeah! That is our generations letter to the editor, our voice, our sounding board. Heaven forbid anyone actually suck it up sit down with their kid and actually try to teach them. It's easier to spend that time wacking out paragraphs on chat boards and blogs etc than to teach your kid. Don't believe me, ask a Teacher they will explain how hard it is in case you have not already learned from your own little students.

 

[tzolkin]

I have not seen any negative posts about teachers or schools in any of my social media, so I think for the most part parents are understanding that the schools are doing the best they can given the situation.

My kids are older and very independent (8th & 10th grade), so I'm certainly way less involved than if they were in elementary school but I still can't imagine complaining especially publicly online.

The only thing I've been even slightly annoyed by is that the schools were not preparing for this to be a long-term closure, so the teachers were expecting that the kids would be returning soon. The day school closures were announced, I told my kids (and my siblings who have younger school aged children) to expect that schools would not reopen this academic year and if by some chance they did, that would be a bonus. If parents and teachers were not being adequately prepared for this being longer than a few weeks, they were waiting until the last minute to figure out the logistics of it being a long closure.

My son is taking a class for musical theater and all the way up until last week the teacher kept making it seem like they were still going to do the play and poling the kids to see when they would be available. (I understand it's disappointing but no one is going to come back to the middle school to rehearse and perform a play once they have already started high school in the fall.)

As of last week I believe that the school has now handed out tablets/laptops to those that need them, but there's been no expansion of the internet service in town. Families have been given a list of free hotspots in town, but if you're working you can't sit in a parking lot all day.

This is my sister's situation with no internet available where she lives. Her husband is off work because they just had a baby two weeks ago, so he has been driving 30min and sitting in a church parking lot with the kids for like 4 hours a day for them to do their work.

how do you find out (after the kids have been sent home) which kids need what (ipad/laptop, internet, etc)?

My siblings and I all had the same experience (NC, NY, FL) with this question. The schools spent the first week off making it a priority to have a "technology survey" completed for each student. We received numerous emails, texts, and phone calls urging everyone to complete so they knew how to move forward with instruction. I'm sure in the future, this will be asked at the beginning of the school year (and would have to be updated every quarter in case something had changed).

 

[sam_gordon]

My siblings and I all had the same experience (NC, NY, FL) with this question. The schools spent the first week off making it a priority to have a "technology survey" completed for each student. We received numerous emails, texts, and phone calls urging everyone to complete so they knew how to move forward with instruction. I'm sure in the future, this will be asked at the beginning of the school year (and would have to be updated every quarter in case something had changed).

We got an email with a link to fill out out an online form that asked what technology we had access to. I don't remember a call. Do you see the problem?

Yes, this should be done will all of the "new school year" paperwork. Too bad they couldn't look into the future back in August.

 

[Jennasis]

Schools need to open for the majority of America's children to be educated properly. Unfortunately, Dr. Fauci just testified to Congress that opening schools in the fall would endanger children, and as he is so influential, that might cause many schools to not open next year. Did he have an end-game for the closures to suggest to Congress? Nope. Any suggested dates for reopening? Nope. Just more of the old: we need to keep cases as low as we can- reopening is dangerous. Has it ever occurred to him that closure is hurting a lot of people, especially children, and they can't stay home forever? His only good news was that he thought it was "more likely than not" that a vaccine would eventually be developed. Not anytime soon, of course, as safe vaccines typically take years to develop. And anyone who tries to reopen now, or in the forseeable future, is irresponsible...He needs to be treated by an opthamologist for a severe case of Covid tunnel vision.

As a mom and a teacher, I'm so upset about the schools possibly being closed next year. Many kids cannot learn well academically or socially at home. That's why some parents are so angry. Please, please, let the schools open in the fall.

Dr. Fauci is not Nostradamus. He can't predict the future. He is also not an economist or an educator so he cannot speak to the needs if those things. He is a DOCTOR and can and does speak to things about the virus itself. It frustrates me when people go off on him. He is only saying what he knows/believes about the virus.

I would have zero expectation of an educator, economist, politician, or businessman to be able to give advice or information about the virus and how it might behave or affect human health.

 

[tzolkin]

We got an email with a link to fill out out an online form that asked what technology we had access to. I don't remember a call. Do you see the problem?

Yes, this should be done will all of the "new school year" paperwork. Too bad they couldn't look into the future back in August.

Yes, that would definitely be an oversight. I am certain that all of our districts made phone calls because DH and I received multiple each (to the point it was a bit annoying) and my sister (different state) does not have internet so she got a call and then completed a paper survey that was sent home in a packet for her kids.

Our schools do ask about internet access in the back-to-school paperwork, but it's not as involved as what was asked for the technology survey. For example, you may answer "yes" to the question "Do you have access to the internet?" but it might just be with your data on your phone, not unlimited access with a computer or tablet where your child could do a full day's homework.

 

[CarolAnn856]

Oh please. Districts across the country and totally surrounding ours have had an online component for years used both in the classroom and out of it in the event of school closures. Obviously districts had to expand on it to accommodate the extended closure but they had the infrastructure in place already. In a district that a few years ago was anticipating staying in session into July to make up snow days they should have started investigating alternatives. Like other districts have done.

Oh, please. None of those plans were for what we knew we were heading into...weeks, possibly months, of continuous online learning.

 

[tinkerhon]

Dr. Fauci is not Nostradamus. He can't predict the future. He is also not an economist or an educator so he cannot speak to the needs if those things. He is a DOCTOR and can and does speak to things about the virus itself. It frustrates me when people go off on him. He is only saying what he knows/believes about the virus.

I would have zero expectation of an educator, economist, politician, or businessman to be able to give advice or information about the virus and how it might behave or affect human health.

I consider myself a Fauci fan ( hey, maybe we can get shirts made up!?) and like Birx as well, but Fauci is taking a lot of heat right now because he has flipped on a lot of issues over the last few months - (masks, seriousness of the virus, etc)

But the larger problem he is having right now ( and I'm NOT taking either side) is that he wants to be uber- cautious, and the ppl that want to reopen the country are having problems with that - pros and cons to both arguments/sides)

 

[DisneyOma]

Operationally, no. We have gotten some purpose-specific grants for security and we contract our food service with the local public district so eligible students can get free/reduced lunch, but our state constitution strictly limits public funding for private education. We are also exempt from many of the requirements that bind public schools. We don't offer a full special education program, we don't offer transportation, we don't do the annual standardized tests, etc. We have parental participation requirements that a public school couldn't impose. And although we obviously hate to do it - we're a very small school, so losing any student hurts both because of the close relationships and because of the economics of it - we're freer to suspend or expel disruptive students than public schools are. I'm friends with several of our teachers and they talk about those things, even more than the religious element, as reasons why they stay. Most have taught in public school in the past and feel like the better working environment is worth the lower pay.

Sounds like they've accepted government money at that school - they should accept all students. They can't have it both ways, KWIM?

On another note, I have a cousin with an autistic son. The way she tells it, the school system he’s in has basically decided to “give up” on anyone needing special accommodations- all kids get the same material in the same way. She’s quite upset with the school, but she’s also not threatening a lawsuit because she understands that this is incredibly difficult no matter what actions a district chooses to take.

That's a shame - we're modifying everything here. I'm instructing two small groups myself and "seeing" other students who need help. I'm a tutor, not a teacher, BTW. Your cousin should ask what all the paraprofessionals are doing during the pandemic?

Schools need to open for the majority of America's children to be educated properly. Unfortunately, Dr. Fauci just testified to Congress that opening schools in the fall would endanger children, and as he is so influential, that might cause many schools to not open next year. Did he have an end-game for the closures to suggest to Congress? Nope. Any suggested dates for reopening? Nope. Just more of the old: we need to keep cases as low as we can- reopening is dangerous. Has it ever occurred to him that closure is hurting a lot of people, especially children, and they can't stay home forever? His only good news was that he thought it was "more likely than not" that a vaccine would eventually be developed. Not anytime soon, of course, as safe vaccines typically take years to develop. And anyone who tries to reopen now, or in the forseeable future, is irresponsible...He needs to be treated by an opthamologist for a severe case of Covid tunnel vision.

As a mom and a teacher, I'm so upset about the schools possibly being closed next year. Many kids cannot learn well academically or socially at home. That's why some parents are so angry. Please, please, let the schools open in the fall.

So, it's dangerous to open the schools, because having people that close could spread the virus like crazy and people will die, but you're saying Fauci has tunnel vision? Not seeing the babysitting factor of school so people can get back to work and make money for the CEOs? How is staying home really hurting the kids? Social aspect? Socialize with your kids, parents.

Yes, they will have a more difficult time, but there's a saying: "If one tire goes flat, don't slash the other three." By holding everyone else back too, that will only further divide the resources when we do go back and kids who were missing extra services need us even more.

I get that IEP's are federal law, but I truly believe that law needs to be more flexible than it is. We need to provide what we can to those who are able to access it now, so we can concentrate our resources where they're needed most when this is finally over.

So would it be okay for you if we only teach the top 1% of the kids, give them all the resources, and let the other 99% just sit home with nothing? Because that's what you've described, but your line in the sand is kids on IEPS or not. I say why not just teach the super smart kids and let the rest play video games? (And of course I don't believe any of this, just making a point)

It takes a village to raise a child, that includes teachers as well.
I am not my child's primary educator, and no, I should not expect to be. That's why we live in a large city, with a large school district, with public school. I don't live in a cave on Crown Land in the wilderness with only Nature to help me guide my child in making a basket from dried grass to gather our berries in. If my life was that rural, I wouldn't have had a child.

So yes, I am one of those irritated parents. I just don't have Facebook, and I wouldn't rant at my child's teacher/school there. That is what emails bcc'd to appropriate authorities is for.
But my kid is one of those kids who thinks, "Mom and Dad know nothing" and doesn't really learn from us. That's what school is for, a different type of authority.

And now the teacher is stuck using Google Hangouts, for the scant handful of kids who show up, and they don't have proper webcam etiquette (because they shouldn't be learning about that feature of the internet until they have Internet Safety Classes a few years from now!!!). Yet ... yesterday I lost my mind because the teachers were asking them to do an assignment in which they communicated their ACTUAL house number and address. This gives kids a false sense of security about what kinds of info they should be freely sharing on the internet. *headdesk*
/Karen

So you can't teach your kids, because they don't have any respect for you, but the teachers aren't meeting your level of standards? Please tell me you're being sarcastic?

Fauci's job is to focus on the medical side. Decisions to reopen are going to have to take into account more than just the public health perspective, of course, but we shouldn't be expecting to hear that from the public health guy. His whole focus, his life's work, is preventing disease deaths and everything he says about this pandemic is about how to further that goal. Not about how to reopen, unless reopening can be done with zero risk and zero health cost (impossible with this virus). Expecting him to do more than that is like expecting your kid's classroom teacher to solve the district's budget deficit.

If there is tunnel vision at play, and I think there is, it is on the part of the lawmakers who are only interested in hearing the public health perspective rather than seeking out experts in other areas to get a view of the bigger picture.



Probably not, but there's no arguing that some are handling this much better than others. We are still dealing with some kinks - Google Meet has an ownership glitch on class recordings, Zoom security settings aren't the most user-friendly, a couple of teachers who live in more rural areas have had to figure out more stable internet than they had before, etc. And we're still trying to figure out how to deal with the small number of children who simply aren't engaging with the online learning format at all. But we've got 90%+ average attendance and most kids seem to be doing well with the material. There may still be a few kinks but we're miles ahead of schools that didn't have at least some plans in place for online learning.

We had nothing but Google Classroom and Gmail when this all started. Our gradebooks are on a system we were planning on switching off from at the end of this year, oops! But we have added support from Google, locked down a lot of loose bits for meets, and even have added apps for split screen, attendance, and a shortcut for presentations that cuts down on lag. Our tech teachers are showing us how to use cellphone cameras as document cams, our librarian has looked up all our texts online and found them for us free of charge! We went from a brick and mortar school with little online work to all online in a few days. We even have special "classrooms" to keep all the student interaction logged so we can all see who might need more help or just some contact.

 

[CarolAnn856]

I consider myself a Fauci fan ( hey, maybe we can get shirts made up!?) and like Birx as well, but Fauci is taking a lot of heat right now because he has flipped on a lot of issues over the last few months - (masks, seriousness of the virus, etc)

But the larger problem he is having right now ( and I'm NOT taking either side) is that he wants to be uber- cautious, and the ppl that want to reopen the country are having problems with that - pros and cons to both arguments/sides)

I think the people frustrated with his changing views are refusing to understand that’s what actual scientists do. They don’t hold a position when he’s evidence presents itself. They change their views and recommendations accordingly. The covidiots think that means he’s unreliable, when it actually shows good scientific practice.

 

[Colleen27]

Agree, Suggest raising property taxes to be sure that every kid in the district has internet and laptops in case there is a future need and people would have gone crazy.

And it isn't even an option some places. Bond funds have a limited number of permitted uses under our state's laws and I don't think that would fit. The laptops, yes, but not the internet to go with it. So our local district would have to find the money in the general operating budget, which is already in a perpetual state of crisis due to an aging population and smaller families and a state law that guarantees property tax values will take decades to recover from the 2008 recession.

Private school also doesn't offer the same number of AP and honors classes, and they grade harder. They also can't offer the same level of clubs, sports teams, and other extra curriculars. That's how we ended up BACK in public school. But public school also doesn't issue iPads to every student, and, I'll be frank, has a much higher percentage of families that just don't value the education. You can give a kid an iPad, but you can't make him log in. Not a teacher, but I think that, more than anything, leads to teacher burnout, and that burnout is where we personally are seeing the biggest failure in the remote learning.

This is just the opposite here. We sent DD18 to private school in part because our cash-strapped, declining-enrollment public schools have eliminated AP and honors almost completely. They simply cannot afford to run specialty classes for 15 or 20 students. The private school she attended was much smaller, only 37 in her graduating class, but as a college prep private school, 100% of their students have their sights set on a selective university so there's enough demand to offer a fairly wide range of AP courses. Sports and extracurriculars were more limited than at public school, but the course offerings were much better.

Sounds like they've accepted government money at that school - they should accept all students. They can't have it both ways, KWIM?

By law, we absolutely can. If we couldn't, if we had to choose between the handful of grants we've gotten over the decade I've been involved with the school, we'd simply have to go without the government money because there's no way a school our size - 55 students K-8 - could possibly accommodate any sort of range of special educational needs. Even our local public school district, with 50x as many students, uses a magnet model for elementary special ed and shared middle/high school services because it isn't cost effective to offer services in every building for a handful of students in each.

So, it's dangerous to open the schools, because having people that close could spread the virus like crazy and people will die, but you're saying Fauci has tunnel vision? Not seeing the babysitting factor of school so people can get back to work and make money for the CEOs? How is staying home really hurting the kids? Social aspect? Socialize with your kids, parents.

It sounds like you work in education in some capacity. Certainly you understand that there's value to peer interaction, especially for students with learning difficulties or other special needs, that can't be replaced by talking with Mom & Dad at home? And of course, there are things that can't be taught on a computer - dissection is something our science students really look forward to, starting with owl pellets for the younger students (not truly dissection, I know) and going up to fish and then to the heart and lungs of a sheep. That experience, putting the tools of lab science in children's hands, can't be done over Zoom.

 

[PollyannaMom]

So would it be okay for you if we only teach the top 1% of the kids, give them all the resources, and let the other 99% just sit home with nothing? Because that's what you've described, but your line in the sand is kids on IEPS or not. I say why not just teach the super smart kids and let the rest play video games? (And of course I don't believe any of this, just making a point)

No, I’m not saying only teach the smartest kids. But I'm not prepared to let the education of those who can keep progressing stagnate while we wait for everything to be equal, either. All children deserve for us to build on their strengths, not just concentrate on their struggles until everyone is at the same level. Setting a flat line goal like that means some don’t grow at all, and I believe all children deserve to grow - from wherever they are to wherever they can and are motivated to be.

I think the reference to IEPs got brought in because some of the things those documents mandate (and I’ve been on both sides of that table) are harder or even impossible to do with distance learning. But if we stop providing tech lessons because of that, we have to catch all the kids up when we come back. If we can keep as many learning as possible, we will have more time for those who need our in-person attention most when we’re at school again.

Since I have a feeling getting back is going to involve things like staggered hours, I just think the surest way to fit everything in eventually (for everyone) is to front-load what we can now.

 

[DisneyOma]

It sounds like you work in education in some capacity. Certainly you understand that there's value to peer interaction, especially for students with learning difficulties or other special needs, that can't be replaced by talking with Mom & Dad at home? And of course, there are things that can't be taught on a computer - dissection is something our science students really look forward to, starting with owl pellets for the younger students (not truly dissection, I know) and going up to fish and then to the heart and lungs of a sheep. That experience, putting the tools of lab science in children's hands, can't be done over Zoom.

I agree that older kids are missing out on lab science experience. But you can get science kits for younger kids online - google owl pellets Buy a whole chicken for dinner, let the kids dissect the carcass, or buy a whole fish for dinner and let them pull out the bones.

For socializing with peers - the older kids are still doing it the way they've been doing it - constant texting, snapchat, etc. The youngest kids, K-4, are not getting the socialization, I agree, but that's the age where parents should be involved anyways, IMO, so they could set up a video meet. My younger daughter skypes with her cousins overseas all the time. They draw together, she watches them play outside, she encourages them to do schoolwork and read.

Yes, I work in a high school. But I also raised two children of my own, and their education was on me. Learning started way before school-age, and didn't stop when they weren't in a school building. I guess I'm shocked that some parents can't teach their own kids how to read, write, do math up through middle school?

Students with learning disabilities and other special needs are definitely getting the short straw right now in lots of districts. I can't believe how cruel some people are to say they should be left behind, for the "greater good" it seems. But lack of support there isn't all on the school district either. It's on the state, and the federal government. Mandates need to be funded when they are thrown at the schools.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I guess I'm shocked that some parents can't teach their own kids how to read, write, do math up through middle school?

I’m not. During normal times, teachers get all day in school to teach kids those things. I expect it’s really hard for parents who are trying to do it while doing their own job from home, and supervising babies and toddlers. Everyone's situation is different.

It doesn’t shock me at all that some are struggling - especially with math, as preferred methods have changed a lot since parents were in school, plus some things that used to be considered high school material are now taught in middle school.

But lack of support there isn't all on the school district either. It's on the state, and the federal government. Mandates need to be funded when they are thrown at the schools.

That's a really good point! It would be a lot more realistic for schools to do new things if they didn't have to take the money from other things.

 

[Renarr]

High school math teacher here. I teach in one of those districts where every student will get an A or an Incomplete at the end of the semester, and while I've come to terms with it (I don't think colleges are even going to look at grades from this semester anyway), there are a lot of people in our community who haven't. And I get that, too.

I teach in a relatively affluent community. Roughly 70% of the community has pretty easy access to tutors and the like for their math work. At least four of my parents are professors at local universities in the area in subject areas that require a strong knowledge of high-school-plus level math.

The piece that we, at least in my building, are truly struggling with is how we would possibly give grades in the first place. Right now, in our A or Incomplete structure, it's pretty easy to treat it as a Pass/Fail model, and even to be hard-pressed to give the failing grade.

But tests have proven to be a major sticking point. We have one student who hasn't passed anything all year... until the closure. Teachers in our school have suspected based on in-class performance that the dad has been doing this student's homework at home throughout high school, but could never quite prove it. There are students who have all but indicated that they would have their tutors take any tests for them. That's one of the larger equity issues that we face at my high school in all of this. When the college scandal broke out with affluent parents trying to buy their kids into colleges, students at my high school responded by wondering how many families at our high school had done that. Not if. Or shock that anybody would.

 

[Dole_whip_doll]

For those saying parents don’t have the time to teach their own kids.
I’m not talking about during the closure.
I’m not talking about teaching them full school curriculum.
I’m talking about all the in between time. If parents aren’t expected to be their child’s primary teacher, then teachers are pretty sunk.

 

[sam_gordon]

I don't think colleges are even going to look at grades from this semester anyway

How would that work? Would they recalculate GPA based on a transcript and leave out one semester? I'm pretty sure here the HS just calculate GPA based on the final grades in courses. Most courses are for the full year.

 

[Renarr]

How would that work? Would they recalculate GPA based on a transcript and leave out one semester? I'm pretty sure here the HS just calculate GPA based on the final grades in courses. Most courses are for the full year.

Yeah, recalculating off the transcripts. This isn't an unusual practice anyway as I understand it, as school GPA's sometimes include factors that colleges don't want to look at when comparing student profiles (e.g. weighting of Honors/AP courses differently from regular courses).

 

[Colleen27]

I agree that older kids are missing out on lab science experience. But you can get science kits for younger kids online - google owl pellets Buy a whole chicken for dinner, let the kids dissect the carcass, or buy a whole fish for dinner and let them pull out the bones.

For socializing with peers - the older kids are still doing it the way they've been doing it - constant texting, snapchat, etc. The youngest kids, K-4, are not getting the socialization, I agree, but that's the age where parents should be involved anyways, IMO, so they could set up a video meet. My younger daughter skypes with her cousins overseas all the time. They draw together, she watches them play outside, she encourages them to do schoolwork and read.

Yes, I work in a high school. But I also raised two children of my own, and their education was on me. Learning started way before school-age, and didn't stop when they weren't in a school building. I guess I'm shocked that some parents can't teach their own kids how to read, write, do math up through middle school?

Students with learning disabilities and other special needs are definitely getting the short straw right now in lots of districts. I can't believe how cruel some people are to say they should be left behind, for the "greater good" it seems. But lack of support there isn't all on the school district either. It's on the state, and the federal government. Mandates need to be funded when they are thrown at the schools.

Yeah, our 4H program did the owl pellet thing - distributed the kits and then led the opening of them on Facebook Live. It was pretty neat.

But the thing is, even in the best of times many students don't have parents who are available, willing and able to teach them even the most fundamental things. We can't just write them off because of the pandemic. And these aren't the best of times. Even good, involved parents are overwhelmed right now by simultaneously learning to work from home and homeschool, maybe managing a loss or decline in income and the subsequent budget adjustments, almost certainly coping with higher bills on everything from utilities to groceries. And peer socialization does matter - we already have kids with almost no independence because we've become such a fearful society, and now they're being limited to virtual, parent-moderated social interaction. That's bound to have an impact, especially if it goes on (as many expect) through the next academic year. A year and a half may not be a long time from an adult viewpoint, but for children, it is an eternity.

 

[Heather07438]

For those saying parents don’t have the time to teach their own kids.
I’m not talking about during the closure.
I’m not talking about teaching them full school curriculum.
I’m talking about all the in between time. If parents aren’t expected to be their child’s primary teacher, then teachers are pretty sunk.

As a parent I feel it's my job to value and respect education, encourage curiosity and be involved. I probably could've done an OK job teaching my son the fundamentals myself but nowhere near the depth of knowledge he's gained in the structured setting. It's teamwork for sure. His academics mostly come from school, knowing how to take care of himself and survive in society comes from home.

 

[Kestryl]

How would that work? Would they recalculate GPA based on a transcript and leave out one semester? I'm pretty sure here the HS just calculate GPA based on the final grades in courses. Most courses are for the full year.

I agree with the PP- colleges will just recalculate. They’ve been doing it for years. Back when I was applying in 2007, several college laid out what they did, including removing honors boosts (like AP classes graded on a 5 scale instead of a 4 scale Like my school did) or only counting “core” classes and removing electives.