Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you Lisa, Denise and Tracy. You ladies are the best, what would I ever do without you?

I have been walking, not as much as I need to but I got in three walks last week and this week I have thus gotten in one. And I walked for an hour yesterday which felt great, although I am a bit sore today. But still fully intending to walk later, sore or not!

I finally got up the courage to weigh today. I cleared out my old Wii profile because I just want to start over. Still I know what I weighed in June before we left for WDW, and just as I feared, I gained back all but three pounds of my 16 pound loss. Omg, that bites. Oh well, time to start over.

I had coffee with a friend who for the second time encouraged me to get a job at a plus sized store. She starts off with "I don't want to offend you and have you take this the wrong way" and then proceeds to tell me I will feel so much more comfortable selling clothes to other overweight women vs. books at Barnes and Noble (told her I wanted to work at B & N). She said she just feels I will feel less out of place and self conscious if I work someplace where the customers look like me. Um thanks I guess.

Then fast forward to last night when I had to go to Dd's freshman orientation. I ran into a few people I hadn't seen in awhile and it was just embarrassing to have them see me so much heavier than I was a few years ago. One of them was our friend "C" who was one of my biggest cheerleaders a few years ago when I lost my 33 pounds.

Leslie Sansone says not to over dwell on the mental issues in this six week program and maybe that's good, and yet all night I found myself wondering why I do this to myself? I keep losing around 15 pounds then gainin it back. I almost think I had it my mind the minute I left for vacation I'd start the process of gaining it back. So frustrating and just a total mystery how my own mind works and why I let myself do this!

So yet another fresh start. I still say I can do it.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Today was a much better day. I never did get to the rec center yesterday, I had to take ds to the eye doctor and to get new glasses, a haircut and do other back to school shopping and the day just got away. But first thing today, I got to the rec center and did 45 minutes on the treadmill. I am amazed at how out of shape I have gotten in two months of slacking off (not that I was marathon ready or anything ). I have been doing 20 minute miles and the sweat is pouring off me and I am sore. Pathetic and a good reminder to keep at it and get my pace back up to 3.5-3.8.

Food was also good today. I hung out with a friend today at the pool for the last time this summer (and the first time since we haven't managed to find a time until today) and told her I want to lose 52 pounds by June 9th. That puts me in "onederland". With another 60 pounds to go!

I am so darn sore tonight, its like suddenly my body is just revolting against the extra weight. I started to drink a beer tonight and just stopped thinking about how alcohol calories convert to fat so quickly and it just didn't feel worth it.

Dh and I are tossing around what we want to do as far as our trip next June. We are both tired of the wait-for-Disney-to-release-a-discount game and are toying with a combo Disney/beach vacation or just doing a beach vacation. We could fly into Tampa and get a beach rental in Clearwater for two weeks for around $2000 less than what a Disney trip would cost. Very tempting but sort of makes me sad we might miss a year at Disney. But they are so darn expensive. I just get a bit nervous renting from an individual and am not sure I want the hassle of all that research. Disney is fun to plan but I don't have to research per se because I know it so well. We'll see, given the current state of the economy in this country, I should probably bury my vacation money under my house because I may need it.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Well today was a bummer day on the Disney front. After a long night of tossing and turning and worrying, I cancelled next summer's trip. For the first time in over 8 years, we don't have any plans to go to Disney. I cried the whole agonizing time I had to hold with CRO today to cancel (listening to Disney park music no less) but it had to be done.

Dan and I realized we just need to take a year at least off from any travel that is longer than a half day's drive away. Also, I won't know for months if any discount is available for my dates, the rising cost of airfare, and the insane way Disney has raised their prices, well its just not happening anymore. Luckily, we have a lot of wonderful Disney memories and we have been so lucky to travel like we have.

Dan and I did get online and find some really nice condos for rent up in the mountains. Some with lake views, a few in particular stood out. They are walking distance to restaurants, bars, free summertime concerts, there are mountain bike, walking and hiking paths right there and going there for a week and really enjoying ourselves will cost less than one fourth what a week at Disney would cost. We plan to mull that over for a few months and then we can book one if we decide that is what we want to do. Summer is low season so its not like we have to book now to get in for ski season.

Now we can get the house painted, get some money in savings and have a much nicer Christmas without this trip hanging over our heads and stalking my wallet!

I am still sad, but almost as relieved as I am sad so I am taking that as a good sign we did the right thing.

 

[lovinaz]

First of all, I'm sorry for not posting on your journal more often! Part of it is because the only time I have to get online is at work, and since my computer screens are situated for all to see, it's kind of hard to justify typing into a box that is flanked by a bunch of crazy smilies on the right... A dancing banana doesn't really scream "engineering"!

Secondly, I KNOW you can lose this weight! I know it's frustrating to lose the same 15lbs over and over, but guess what - once you break past that 15lbs and lose the 16th one, you will know it's possible and there will be no looking back.

As for the vacation, I know you are going to miss Disney, but like you said - you have so many wonderful Disney memories! And I know there are TONS of things to do in your home state that are awesome, less expensive and don't require airfare x 4! I am the same way - always planning that next beach vacation, and there are so many things we haven't done in AZ! So please don't fret about what you are going to be missing out on - focus on the new possibility and the excitement of doing something totally different!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Amy, it is so good to see, I miss you around here! You are always so good at putting things into persepctive for me.

Today was such a good start to the week! I cleaned my house, cleaned stepdad's condo and walked for 45 minutes and that was all before noon. My pace on the treadmill was a bit faster, I kept it at 3.2 most of the time and even could have gone higher but didnt' want to overdo things. I only got in 45 minutes, was hoping for an hour but just had so much to do. I did have lunch out with a friend (she's starting a new job on Wednesday) and had chinese but managed to do pretty well all things consdidered. They give you an appetizer with lunch so I order crab/creamcheese wontons which I don't like and brought them home to ds who loves them. Saved me from a greasy egg roll I didn't need.

As for our 2012 travellling, Dan and I have decided to take a break from worrying or making any firm decisions. For sure we could go somewhere right here in Colorado for so much cheaper but then again, ds will be graduating in 2013 and plans to go into the Marines right away. Summer 2012 might be our last opportunity to go to WDW with both kids while they are both still home (can't believe my kids are getting so grown up). For now we are just taking a wait and see attitude. We have no idea if taxes will go up in 2012, how much our insurance is about to jump since ds is about to get his licsense and also how much Dan's bonus will be. Once we know all the facts then we can make our decision. In any case, I did cancel the reservation I made at CSR because we do know if we go to WDW it will need to be a value unless a discount is released and we also don't think CSR is right for us. Their food court is expensive and since we won't be on a dining plan its not going to work. The only way to have a cs meal at CSR without a gratuity is to eat outside. Not a good set up in the heat of summer.

Dd started high school today. She went from a small middle school with only 700 kids to a 2300 kid high school that is a maze of hallways and pods. She did well and also was only one of a few kids in her English class that did her summer book report so she got off to a good start. Ds helped her find her locker and her first class and she found a friend from church in the enormous lunch room so she had a friend to eat with. I cannot believe my baby is in high school.

On the other hand can I just say it was WONDERFUL to have both kids back in school. Life is getting back to normal thank goodness!

 

[eyor44]

Amy you are doing good my friend. You will get there, I know you will.
You are very smart to push yourself, just not to hard in the beginning. You will build yourself back up in no time.

on Disney. We all know how much you love those trips, we all do. Tough decision, but mountain cabins are nice and relaxing. A different kind of vacation which can be just as fun. But I hear ya on how expensive Disney is and wanting that last trip with DS. You'll make the right decision.

Are y'all okay? I saw about the earthquake a couple days ago. Kind of stinks how everyone is focusing on the East coast one. and totally forgetting y'all. As soon as I saw where it was I prayed you were okay.

 

[toystoryduo]

Sending a and lots of your way, my friend. I think a wait and see attitude for Disney is a good idea right now. It would really help if Disney would put their discounts out much further in advance or give automatic discounts to those of us who travel there quite frequently. We can dream, right?

Keep up the good work on your walks! Each step you take is one more step closer to your goal. You CAN do it, Amy!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa, its so good to see you. I didn't feel the earthquake but some of our friends did. I guess I am not too observant!

Tracy: If Disney would release discounts early, that would be nice. Probably not gonna happen though!

I was much better this week with food and exercise. I was all set to go the gym today but just have so much to do at home so I am going to go for a walk tomorrow. Dan has to work some in the afternoon so it will be a perfect time to go.

I am also feeling a little queasy this morning. I think its because I ate some chocolate late last night. Stepdad and his girlfriend came over for dinner and bless her heart she always brings candys. She brough us each a gift bag that had a full sized bag of Lindor Truffles and a big box of m&m's. Those milk chocolate truffles are my favorite candies on the planet. So I ate two of them before bed and it was not a good scene. I sent the leftovers (as in almost three full bags) to school with the kids. Told them to put them in their lockers and have a piece or two each day The kids don't need it either. Oh well, they never get candy unless Ruth brings it over and when some nice older lady on a fixed income brings a gift by, I don't have the heart to not let the kids enjoy it.

We have Happy Hour tonight. Dan and I have not been since February. We just can't really afford it anymore (paycut has a trickle down affect on our local Happy Hour scene lol) but Dan got $15 for taking some online survey about this restaurant chain so we can go pretty cheap. Then we have friends coming over for pizza Sunday afternoon. I turned down an invitation for a get together tomorrow night. I am just not up for it and don't want three eating/drinking gigs in a row. I also just feel so lousy and fat right now (clothes all too tight or too small AGAIN) I don't feel like putting myself out there. I also don't feel like being with that particular group of people. I need to set boundries in all areas of my life and realize that saying no, to myself, to family, to friends is something I need to work on. So I did and guess what the world still continued to turn!

It is so hot here right now, we hit 99 yesterday and today will be in the mid 90's. I am ready for some cooler fall weather but I think its not around the corner!

The kids did great their first week. I was proud of dd, she settled right into the routine of high school. Poor kid has to get up at 5:00 to be out the door by 6:30. Makes for a long day. Shelby and Daisy continue to wonder why in the heck we are getting up so early. In fact, Shelby has been hiding under ds' bed all morning refusing to get up. Hey, she's 63 human years old, if she wants to sleep in far be it from me to stop her!

Today's plan is to get the house shaped up and just be around here today. We have a busy weekend and I am enjoying the peace and quiet.

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy
Did you have a good weekend? Sounds like it was going to be a busy one. So glad DD is settling into high school. I remember vividly those days of getting up super early to be ready for the bus. Then the hour long bus ride. ugh!

How is DS doing? Junior right? How does he feel having DD in his space?

Good job on passing the candys on to the kids.

Have a great Monday my friend.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa, the weekend was good but it was busy!

I am plugging away with my exercise, getting back up slow but sure to a better walking pace (am at 3.3 mph at this point). I made my goal of 4x per week last week and was hoping for 5x this week but not sure that will happen. I missed Monday and we have such busy weekend I am not sure I'll be able to walk. But I may just have to think of a way to squeeze in 30 minutes on the treadmill early Saturday morning. I knew I should have gone Monday! The only way to make it happen is to get up around 6:00 Saturday morning and head to either the track or gym. Gotta do it!!!

My day today has been hectic and I just spent an hour on the phone with my sister. She is wanting to move to Denver but has not gotten a teaching position yet. She needs to find a job, any job she can so she can find a place to live since her current townhome rental is on the market. Naturally she wants a loft downtown. Well those are generally occupied by lawyers and other professionals. Bottom line, I never understand how someone so ultra smart can be so devoid of reality. Exactly one year ago we got her settled in after she had let her life spiral so out of control it was unbelieveable and now here we go again. Bottom line, she needs to figure this out herself and my checkbook is not open for loans/assistance. She knows that and understands and yet I fear on some level she thinks I'll come to the rescue. She has to solve it herself this time. Last year was so beyond what I can do now. She has to solve her own "you know what" just like I have to solve my own issues. I pray it works out and I bet it will. I used to think if I didn't jump to somebody's rescue I was bad, now I realize its okay to let grown ups be grown ups.

Back to school night tonight. Can't wait to cram my fat self into a tiny student desk. I swore last year when this same dilemma presented itself, that "this" year I'd be thin. My weight has now morphed into an area where day to day living gets to be tough. When I am this weight, I can barely get an airline seatbelt fastened, run the risk of being told to buy another seat ticket when I do fly, cannot bend over to tie my shoes very easily (or paint my toenails) and things like getting up and down off the floor are downright agonizing not to mention awkward. I keep telling myself that if nothing else, I need to get off 25 pounds just to make everyday simple tasks less of a nightmare. My knees are killing me.

I have yet to lose a pound, I think my food is not as good as it should be and also for some unknown reason anymore, when I start to workout hard, I tend to lose slowly or even gain. But in a week or two my body should start to respond. I can't get discouraged!

 

[toystoryduo]

Great job on your walks!! Keep up the good work!

Sending some your sister's way. I pray that she finds a way to make the move work for her.

How did back to school night go?

Keep your head up, my friend! You are getting back into a routine with your workouts and I bet food choices will be soon to follow. Before you know it, the pounds will be coming right off! I know you CAN do it, Amy!

Have a wonderful day today!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy! Back to School Night was very nice, I really like all of ds' teachers. Dan went with dd to meet her teachers so I didn't get to meet any of them but he was also very enthused and impressed.

The downside was just as I had imagined it would be, trying to squeeze into those student desks was not easy and somewhat embarrassing. Also it was hot in the school hallways and walking and climbing up the stairs just made me realize again I need to lose this weight, at least a big chunk of it.

I'll add, I purposely picked ds to accompany as opposed to dd because I knew I'd run into fewer people I know from yesteryear and have less feelings of "omg, I so don't want this person to see me this fat". Sad but true. And just brings up the whole issue of how much my weight factors into everything I do. I only have a very few things that actually fit me and its a race to fit back into my jeans before it gets cold.

I weighed today and was down two pounds. I am happy to have the loss but given the amount of waking and aquasize I have been doing its tough not to get discouraged. But I'll take it as a good start and a move in the right direction. I didn't go to aquasize today but plan to walk an hour pretty quick and also walk tomorrow. Then I will have my 5x this week which will feel good.


I hope everyone has a nice three day weekend!

 

[lovinaz]

Don't get discouraged! My body does that too, and it is aggravating! But you know if you stick with it, you will eventually start to see results. Even if it isn't on the scale, as long as you are losing inches and feeling better and more energetic, you are making progress. The scale will follow when it's ready, as frustrating as it is…

Hugs for the situation with your sister. I know you want to help her, but you have your own family to put first. Hang in there, and congrats on getting all those walks in! Celebrate your newfound dedication!

Have a great long weekend.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy, I was frustrated at first then realized if I lost a pound a week and stuck with it, I'd be at goal in two years instead of heavier now than I was two years ago! Oh the life I lead....

Today was frustrating from start to finish. I lost my cell phone and spent hours trying to find it. Then this afternoon was one of those days where I had to run both kids all over the place (in opposite directions) and somehow make dinner and fit a walk in and oh yeah, clean the house which as usual had a weekend hangover. And I didn't get to keep a phone date with a friend I was really wanting to talk to. But I FINALLY found the phone late this afternoon and was relieved I almost cried. It was wedged so deep in the couch it was no wonder I didn't find it the first ten times I looked there and since the battery was dead, it didn't ring when I called it.

The kids are now at their church group kick off for the year, can't believe dd is in high school. And the house is quiet, its cool and very rainy and quite fallish. Which is very nice.

I did well on food today for the most part, I did have some Dr. Pepper this afternoon when I was so mad about the phone I was ready to split nails and I also ate a two tortillas I didn't need but toned things down with dinner. And did manage to get 45 minutes in walking in while I waited for dd to finish her training at church (she is going to teach with me on Wednesday's).

So my ticker tells the story of what we did decide on our WDW trip. We changed dates, are now going over spring break vs. summer. I NEED a discount and free dining is the one that is the best for us and since Disney did release some fd dates in March that coincide with the kids' spring break, we booked CSR for ten nights. That is 2K worth of the DDP that is free (well free with a rack rate room). Just have to pray we can swing getting it paid off and find good airfare but I am just happy to have a trip planned with a discount. Summers are getting so busy for the kids, its hard to find time to take a trip anyway. I know we should save money and stay local for vacation but I have a feeling we'll be doing that plenty when ds is gone and dd is in college. I feel really good about this but am glad we really stood firm that we were going with a discount or not at all. If Bob Iger wants to do away with discounts thats fine, but he'll be seeing me way less if he does. Of course everytime they say that they end up just releasing discounts anyway.

My goal is to lose (get ready ladies for goal #4897 on this journal ) 40 pounds by March 23rd. If I lose that I have a whole closet of clothes that will fit for WDW, I'll have lost the biggest amount I have lost and will really feel like I accomplished a huge feat. This would put me to what I weighed in 2006/07. My little goal is to lose ten pounds by Halloween. I also told Dan and the kids the holidays will not be about eating and to not expect 15 different kinds of cookies and candy cause its not happening. We have nobody coming in from out of town anyway which will save me a ton of calories and money.

I am so ready to lose this 40 pounds so stay tuned! Weigh in this week is Friday, we'll see how we do. Oh yeah, food over the weekend was not too good. Gotta make these weekends not all about food!

28 weeks and two days to take off 40 pounds is a hair under 1.5 pounds per week. That is a pretty lofty goal but for now, that is the one I am setting!

 

[eyor44]

Come on Amy! You can do it! Come on Amy! We are all cheering for you!

Please don't get discouraged. It's just like Amy said, don't just watch the scale, watch the inches also. They tell the real story. And how your clothes fit. Remember the day when you put the beer down? You can do that same things with others things also. You can do this.

Disney at Spring Break? Hmmmm, wonder what your actual dates are. I'll have to see if I can figure it out from the ticker. DD's dance school is going the first week of April. They go every other year to attend a dance workshop at Disney and then get to perform.

Any news from your sister?

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa, your cheering me on made feel good!!!

Our dates are March 23-April 3. Right now I have fd booked at CSR for the 24th-3rd and I'll add a room only night for the 23rd once I book airfare. Fd doesn't start until the 24th (sat) but I am hoping we can come in on Friday night. We have such a long travel day that if we don't fly in until Sat., that day is basically lost.

Today was a good day. I walked for 20 minutes and aquasized for an hour. The instructor worked us hard which was great but of course some of the old biddies complained. It never fails to amaze me why people who don't want to follow an instructor bother to do a class?

Food was very good today, I even ate out at Wendy's but got a plain baked potato and a half cup of chili for a lowfat and healthy lunch. No fries or burgers for me!

Putting things in the 1.5 pound per week perspective is making me feel this is very attainable. I will weight on Friday to see if I make this week's goal!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I'm sorry to hear that you had a rough Tuesday. It sounds like yesterday was a much better day!

Woohoo for a new Disney trip!!! My DH and I were just talking about maybe going to the World for his birthday in March if we can manage it financially. That would be so cool to meet you and your family in person!

I think your weight loss goal for Disney is totally do-able. I know you CAN do it!

Great job at Wendy's yesterday! I love their chili!

Have a great day today!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy I am keeping my fingers crossed my trip, your trip and Lisa's trip all connect up so we can have a Wish meet!

My weight stayed basically the same but I plan to weigh again tomorrow. I worked out really hard yesterday and came home, ate too much then had to skip dinner only to arrive at church last night for a Sunday School training meeting starved. To a table full of pies and cake. Anybody ever heard of a fruit and veggie tray?! Oh yeah, they also had Hershey miniatures and chex mix on each table. I had one piece of candy, about a 1/4 cup of chex mix and about 1/4th piece of key lime pie but lets face it, that was the last thing I needed. Dd was with me, (she is going to start helping out with the 4 year old class) and even she said "wow, that's a lot of junk food on one table".

I am working out very hard and having a hard time getting my food totally in check. So I need to address that and if necessary, work out less and eat less too!

Tomorrow is dd's 15th birthday. I cannot believe my baby is 15, in high school and so grown up. I can remember 15 years ago today like it was yesterday. I was having a scheduled c-section the next morning and I remember hanging out, hugely pregnant with ds (who was not quite two) and my brother who had flown in for the occassion. And of course my mom. I also remember not eating a thing all day and then about 7:00 that night suddenly having a craving for a fish sandwich from Burger King which I ate and lets just say I have not eaten one since! Life goes so quick.

I really miss my mom so much when the special occasions roll around. She was so good to me when I was pregnant with dd. I had been on bed rest virtually the whole pregnancy, with a toddler and even though she was still working, she'd often come by with dinner and to help out with ds in the evenings (dh travelled a lot in those days). She was with me and Dan in the operating room when dd was born, we had no idea if it was a boy or girl and it was my mom who leaned over and told me I had a daughter. I am so glad she is at peace but man oh man do I miss her.

So today I am baking dd's favorite strawberry cake, tomorrow we are having cake for breakfast because we are going out for a nice lunch and know we won't be hungry later on and then on Sunday we are going to my sister's and she's ordered another cake. I see a struggle with food in my immediate future.

Hope everyone is having a great week and a nice upcoming weekend. Its really beginning to feel like fall around here and I must say, its welcome.

I'll post my official weigh in results tomorrow.

 

[eyor44]

Hmmmm, do I see a very possible Dis/Wish Meet in our future? I plan to arrive on Saturday, March 31. NO pressure Tracy.

Amy, I have beent thinking the same thing lately. Does no one know that you can get very nice veggie and fruit trays from the grocery stores. Even WalMart does that right. Glad you held back.

to you. I think it is so great that you and your Mom had such a wonderful relationship. It is obvious how very special she is to you.

Hope this weekend is going great for you guys and you find some time to at least get a walk or two in.

Happy Birthday to your DD! I hope she has an absolutely wonderful weekend.

 

[DisDee]

Hope you had a nice weekend Amy! I'm with you...I am so looking forward to fall!

We may have a WDW trip in March too, but it would be early in the month and just an extended weekend. I would love to get together with you and Tracy sometime. I feel like I know you both better than some friends that I've had for years.

Have a wonderful week!!!!!!