Amy's Journal: Comments Welcome!

[lovinaz]

What a sweet thing DD said! I bet you teared up hearing that. It is wonderful that you have such support, you and Dan have yourselves an awesome family!

Don't worry about the scale, you are doing everything right. I bet you are building muscle, you are really working out a lot! Are your clothes fitting better? That is more of an indication than that dumb scale!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy, dd is so sweet. My little family cheerleading section knows how very painful my weight is to me and how much it bothers me to look and feel like this. This was a good and not so good weekend. I can really feel some depression starting in. This time of year I can get this way, the holidays etc. And my family and all their dynamics and my feeling in the middle makes me crazy depressed. I talked with my sister for five lousy minutes yesterday to wish her a happy birthday (she has the same bday as my son) and in that time she made 7 very mean comments about our mother. I can't stand the anger she shows. My mom has one foot in the grave, give her a break! Ds' birthday was wonderful, he got some money and gift cards so we spent a lot of time hitting Game Stop getting stuff he wanted. We took a nice drive up to the mountains today and ate out at Quizno's. I had a light turkey sandwich, chips and a diet pepsi. Then we went to Cold Stone later and I got a small light vanilla with oreos. Not horrible I guess. Country Buffet last night was kind of a disaster, I didn't eat much during the day and with my hour long walk I was famished. I was also discouraged by the stuck scale syndrome and just decided to He** with it. I didn't do horrible but I did eat some fried shrimp, steak, sesame chicken, a roll and a coke. Had a large salad with dressing on the side. Avoided the mac and cheese and the mashed potato's. I guess I did better than I did in my "old life" but not as good as last week. I need a Country Buffet break. But since my parents and children think the place was invented by God himself for their dining pleasure, I think that won't happen! Ready for a new week. I am doing well on the October Exercise challenge, its nice to be over halfway when the month is half over. I am looking forward to not waking up on the morning of the 28th or 29th thinking I need to exercise for 250 minutes in the next three days to make the challenge! I have a lunch out tomorrow, taking a friend out for her birthday, she picked a place that has few healthy options. I do think they have a chicken caesar salad so maybe I can go with that with the dressing on the side. In fact, maybe I won't even look at the dumb menu! Wish me luck on that one and thanks for reading!

 

[toystoryduo]

Good morning WISH sis,

I want to give you a gentle this morning. The past few months have had their ups and downs, but Amy, you are still standing! I think you are an amazing woman, my friend.

I'm glad to hear that your DS had a great birthday! Doesn't it make you feel good when your kids enjoy their special celebrations?

I think you did a great job at Country Buffet! You made some great food choices and avoided other foods at the same time. I love their salad bar, but it's always the dessert table that gets me in trouble. I love cheesecake!

I know that the scale is frustrating right now.... Maybe you can take a vacation from the scale for a couple of weeks and just focus on exercising and good eating.

Speaking of exercising, way to go, Amy! You are doing a great job on your October challenge! Keep up the good work!

I hope you have a great week, sweetie! Hold your head high! You are doing great!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy,
Hope your DS had a fantastic birthday
Hope your feeling a little more positive today, you are doing great & like you said your doing better than your 'old life' thats something to celebrate
Try not to put too much pressure on yourself, remember small steps
Have a great week
Tracey

 

[CJK]

Sending lots of your way. You're going through a lot and I don't want you to be hard on yourself. You made some healthier choices which you should celebrate. You're such a caring and kind person to others - hopefully you can turn some of that kindness towards yourself. You deserve it. Take care of yourself and have a great week.

 

[lovinaz]

You are doing awesome on your exercise challenge! We all get depressed about the whole weightloss nightmare. But you have come too far to give up. You are 25% there! And I know you can get that other 75% completed. It doesn't matter if it is in 1, 2, or 3 years, as long as it comes off. You are not in a contest, you are just on your way to a healthier you.

If you have regular bouts of depression, you might want to talk to your Dr about some meds to get you through the holidays. There is nothing wrong with it and you don't even have to tell anyone. Just do it for yourself if you think you might need some extra help.

Today starts a new week and you are going to do great!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks so much everyone! You guys are so good to me... Today was better, I did feel more positive. I realize that ds is pretty resilient and that some of these issues he is going through are just par for the course given his age. He had a better day today at school and that helped me to have a better day. I'll swear my last thought before I check out will probably be worrying over that son of mine! Dd on the other hand just goes with the flow thank goodness! I also need to shelf this stuff between family members (none of them have a problem with me, only with each other) and let them worry about themselves.

Today was good, I had a nice lunch out with two friends celebrating one of them's birthday. It was one of those beautiful Colorado fall days, we sat outside on the patio with a great view of the mountains. We talked for three hours and it was so nice to just have fun and gab. I behaved pretty well at lunch and then asked my one friend if she would mind having my dd at her house after school (we carpool and it was her turn to pick up) so that I could take my walk. She was more than happy and I was glad I asked. I walked 65 minutes, adding that extra five minutes so I could get to an even 600 on the challenge!

Breakfast: Atkins Shake
Lunch: Grilled chicken caesar salad with dressing on the side (maybe used two teaspoons by dipping my fork in the bowl), garlic toast and some chips and salsa. Also had one Coors Light
Dinner: small amount of roast (lean cut), one quarter of a potato, some cooked carrots and mushrooms.
Drank plenty of water, 48 oz of ice tea and one diet pepsi For some reason I am hungry right now but not going to eat.

I weighed myself today and was up five pounds. Not sure why exactly, I really didn't do that bad this weekend, at least not enough to gain five pounds in one day! I also had all of my flex points to use. I think Tracy is right, I am done weighing for awhile. I may not even go to WW for a couple of weeks, I am out of coupons and don't feel like buying more right now. We'll see, I don't want to lose control of eating because I know I'm not weighing in but the scale is not my friend these days and I don't want to get discouraged either. Maybe I need a couple of weeks to settle into this new walking routine and see what happens.

 

[lovinaz]

I have had more of those overnight gains than you can imagine! It is really frustrating, but it always comes off. It's funny how we don't think twice about it when we LOSE 2-3lbs overnight, do we???

You are doing great, keep doing what you are doing. Are your clothes fitting better? Maybe take some measurements to track your progress instead of the scale. I kinda like not weighing myself every day, there is a calm in not knowing. Of course I'll probably want to kick the scale through the wall when I weigh myself on Friday...

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Amy,

Happy belated Birthday to your son!!! I don't think you did all that bad at dinner for his birthday.
Lunch out with your girlfriends was good....you're doing a great job.

I too gave up on the scale. I lost the 5 pounds taht I gained on vacation and hae not done anything sine. So I will wait and see in a few more weeks. Just make sure you don't give up completely. You've come so far!!!

Keep up the good work and stay warm today!

Have a great day

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you Jamie and Amy! I know that I have come to far to let a water gain (Iguess thats what it is ) bring me down. I did not weigh today. I also did not eat right today. I grazed all day, eating things like baked cheetos, 4 small oatmeal cookies, a Lean Cuisine and topped it all off with half a chile dog and a half order of tater tots. It was snowy and cold all day and I was hungry and tired (didn't get to sleep until 2:00 a.m.). I did walk and drink my water. I think I needed to just pig out today for some reason . For some reason I am not the slightest bothered or guilty by my bad behavior! I am at 660/800 on the exercise challenge and just ready to start a new week tomorrow. I plan on going to WW next week or possibly the week after. I mainly am just out of coupons and don't feel like dropping the $100+ bucks to get 10 more weeks.

 

[CACruisin']

It was snowy and you got your walk in !?

Happy Belated Birthday to your DS. I am glad he had a better day. Isn't it funny how we have one we worry about and another that we know will be just fine? DD11 is the one I always worry about. I know she will be fine, but I can't help but worry. She really is a sweet, wonderful kid. She just drives me nuts at times. She is at camp this week and I miss her like crazy!


You are doing a great job with your exercising and most days your eating is great too. Do not get discouraged and do not let the fall/holidays pull you back into old patterns. You have come so far. You can keep going. We can do this together!

 

[lovinaz]

Sometimes you just need a junk day to get it out of your system! If you're like me, you will probably get back on track today because you are sick of eating junk! It always makes me feel like crap the next day, so I don't do it very often anymore.

You have been doing great with your eating and exercising so I wouldn't worry about it! Get those WW coupons, it will keep you motivated to stay on track. I know if I pay for something I'm a little more inclined to stick with it, to get my $$'s worth!

 

[CJK]

Is it wrong that I was jealous over your food choices?? The fact that you still got that exercise and water in, and your good choices overall, you'll get right back on track. I know I don't need to worry about you! Here's to a fantastic tomorrow!

 

[goldcupmom]

Hang in there, Amy! I know you'll be back on track. Sometimes we just need junk (just not all the time)!

Glad your DS birthday went well - today 12, tomorrow 20, or so it will seem.

Hope you have a great weekend! Is it still cold & snowy there? We were 34 this morning and DH still hasn't turned on our heat......BRRRRR!!!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you everyone. Food yesterday was better. I still nibbled a bit but had a nice, large, healthy salad for dinner and some ice tea. I didn't exercise yesterday or today.

Today has been a bit rough. Our very dear friends have a son with a rare heart disease. He went in today for a procedure and they found some bad and unexpected news. He is going to need major open heart surgery but they aren't sure (the doctors) of all the details, they have never even seen this before in a child. Naturally our friends are in shell shock. They have known for two years their son had this disease but he seemed to be doing so well. He is very much into sports and has to give that up now, doctors said its a miracle he hasn't had a full blown heart attack. He is 9 years old. All afternoon I have just been dragging, not feeling like doing a thing. Their daughter is here with me now, she is my daughter's best friend, she has no idea this has happened with her brother. Please pray for this family, they need it.

I have Alzheimers Support Group tonight which I am totally not in the mood for. I have come to the conclusion support groups can be a mixed bag. Listening to the sad sack tales of others and then recounting my own is a downer. But I need to stick with it, I do get some good advice. Its my night to take refreshements, everyone voted I bring donuts. Great, I am already depressed as Hell and now I can go eat donuts with a bunch of other depressed people.

Tomorrow will surely be better for me but I am really worried for my friends. Thanks for reading, I will catch up on journals tomorrow.

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

I am so sorry to hear about the news that your friends received regarding their son. This must be such a difficult time for them. Please know that we will keep them in our thoughts and prayers.

I hope that your support meeting goes well tonight.

Take good care of you, Amy! Please let me know if you need to talk... I'm here for you WISH sis!

 

[eeyore25]

Hi Amy,

So sorry to hear about your friends' son. They will be in my thoughts and prayers.

It's always tough to stay on track when you get bad news or just aren't feeling up to par. At least it is for me. Don't be too hard on your self, you are going through a lot right now. Just know that we are here for you

Keep it up! You are doing a great job

Have a good weekend

 

[lovinaz]

How awful for your friends to have to go through this. I hope all goes well with him and his family.

Can you maybe go to every other meeting of the support group? That might be a little better for you to handle.

You have so much going on right now, hang in there and don't let this rough time get you down, OK??

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thank you so much, Tracy, Amy and Jamie. I know you guys will give good thoughts and prayers to our friends. They need them! They are getting some second opinions and they all pretty much confer with what the other doctor said. So he will likely need surgery in the next couple of weeks. Very scary stuff, I feel so bad for them.

I did go to support group last night. It was good, it was just me and one other guy and his wife. We had lots of leftover donuts! I ate four donut holes last night and a total of four today. The rough equivalent of two donuts total. Did not open the package of the chocolate ones, I am saving those for ds' birthday party tonight. Let the 12 year old skinny boys eat them! I went to breakfast with my mom today and had oatmeal with strawberries and two pieces of bacon. Not bad. I did eat about five bites of my mom's biscuits and gravy. They were to die for, I could have eaten ten times that amount! Ds has his sleepover tonight, dh is taking the four the boys to play laser tag and pizza. I am taking dd to see Flicka. I am really looking forward to having some time just her and me, she is so low maintainence God bless her! I bought a tiny cake for ds' birthday, just enough for the boys and dd to each have one small piece. No leftovers thank you very much!

Amy, I think your idea of only going every other time might be a good one. I already told them last night I was unavailable in December and they all agreed Christmas is no time for Alz. talk. So we have one the end of NOvember and wont' meet again until the third week of January. I am ready for the break.

I have been drinking my water and did my 60 minute walk today. I needed to be cleaning but figure why bother, four 12 year old boys will wipe out the house so I'll do that next week instead. I missed my walking the last two days. I should have done a DVD when the sidewalks were icy on Wed. and yesterday I was waiting for my friend to call all day. But today I got back on. That is what I am really trying to focus on. Getting back on track when I have a setback of any kind. Something I have NEVER been able to do in the past! No idea what the scale says, I have not gone anywhere near one! Thanks for reading, I need to still get caught up with all of you guys.

Amy

 

[lovinaz]

Sounds like you are in a happier place today! I agree totally with your house cleaning strategy! DH always wants to steam clean the carpets BEFORE a party. Hello, so 30 people can get it dirty right away?!?!? Plus, if anyone is paying that much attention to the carpets while they are at a party, they have some serious entertainment issues...

Let me know how Flicka is! My DD adores horses (my mom has several) and I know she wants to see it. I like when we get some "girl time" and I bet your DD will love spending that girl time with you. Have fun and keep it up with your workouts, you are really doing a great job getting back on track!