Am I the only one....

[JonetteA]

I think I have finally hit the wall on the Disney wedding. I started out being so excited about the prospect and the friends and family that will be able to attend. I just got my BEO back and without food/flowers/and cake we are already 3k over my budget. I don't know what to do anymore. I wanted to have a small wedding with immediate family and close friends. Now it has become this zoo and Disney has increased prices from when I originally budgeted. We budgeted for 35 and now we are at 78 people. Some of whom Leif and I have not talked to in over 5 years ( or he does not have a close relationship with.) I have been in tears most of the afternoon and feel like we should just go to the courthouse at this point. He doesn't not want to invite everyone b/c he is afraid we will offend people. He has said maybe we don't do the honeymoon and put the money to the wedding so that all of the distant relatives can come. My response is that I would rather offend some people and stick to our budget. All I want is my immediate family and my close friends there. I am just exhausted by this process and my planning session is next week. I just feel like this should be fun, and instead I dread it.

 

[ahutton]

I know how you feel, and at one point I also had big time sticker shock. Especially when I counted all the "might comes" and the other people we thought along the way we "should" invite. Something to keep in mind, there are lots of ways to reduce the cost and the FTW folks are pros. They know how to spend money for sure, but the EMs are a wealth of information on how to reduce the overall price without significantly changing the look.

Remember that you probably did your "wish list" of what you would like to have, but I would bet there are a lot of things you can do to reduce your overall expense without sacrificing what matters. I'm sorry I don't know your plan, but if you want to share maybe we can brainstorm with you?

 

[cryssi]

I'm so sorry you're sad! The whole thing had me pretty stressed out...

We opted to only invite nearest and dearest...however we have large families, and had to not invite some family members! We also only invited a few friends. Of course, that meant that our invited guest list was 160 rather than 200+ LOL. Lucky for us, we ended up with about 130 guests. Had we really thought this thing through and reevaluated stuff, we might have just gone to WDW with whoever could manage it, and then had a reception at home. That might have made everyone (and the budget) happy... LOL

anyway, have a good cry, prepare for your planning session, and think Mickey!

don't worry, it will all work out!

c

 

[allisonswonderland]

Sorry- I have not gotten to that but I am so afraid.....that is why I made Josh reduce the guest list and the deal with dates and kids...I inviting people that I am close to now, we are having a reception at home so I am hoping that not everyone will be ticked, but I can't help it I am not made of money. That is too bad--- sorry you are sad. How much have the prices gone up and when are they going to update the website? Take care, things will work out. Don't go to the court house, you should think about trying to figure out ways to cut, I am sure you will figure something out. Though I am with u I would rather offend people and stick with the budget. Good luck

 

[JoanneG]

Don't give up just yet.When you go for you're planning session,they are very helpful with ideas to help keep the cost down.Just be honest and let them know your concerns.They do absolutely beautiful weddings on almost any budget.Don't make the mistake I did and worry too much about everyone else.THIS IS YOUR WEDDING !!! And you should have the day you have always dreamed of .

 

[WDWbride2007]

Jonette,

Although wedding plans can be a source of stress, keep in perspective that this is the day you will commit to the person you love. My fiance and I have had the guest limit talk a few times now. We have decided on an intimate wedding (20 total) even if we can't invite some of our close friends and relatives. In fact, I am not inviting my two older half sisters...only my full sister. The whole process involves tough choices. I have found that you need to have a heart-to-heart with your partner. You need to each decide what are the most crucial parts of the wedding. For us, we wanted a ceremony that was very intimate. We only want the individuals there that support us through every occassion (good and bad). In addition, it was very important for us to have an awesome honeymoon. Not only are we spending a few days at Disney as a family, but we are going to spend 1-2 weeks exploring Tuscany.

You and your DF need to decide on priorities and not worry about everyone else. In the end, if they don't have money in the future, they probably wouldn't hesitate to cut you off their guest list. If you already went to their wedding, don't consider it an obligation to invite them to yours. Every couple has their own financial situation. If you want to stick to the budget, then explain the situation. No one can argue with that...unless they are willing to pay for part of the event. Anyways, I think you and Leif should sit and have a serious conversation about priorities. I actually made up a questionnaire sheet for my fiance and I to fill out separately. It was interesting to compare notes on our priorities. For example, he ranked a rehearsal dinner pretty low...while it was high on my list. Discussing our desires afterwards was a good way to gauge what we want to spend our money on. Although we had some differences, we agreed on most aspects....especially not going into debt. Now we are ready to face our families during the holidays. It won't be easy, but we will be a united front. Well, I wish you all the best. Enjoy your planning trip because it is once in a lifetime! and be sure to rely all the juicy details.

 

[DisneyBride2B]

Choosing a guest list is reallllllllllly hard! My DF and I have had this discussion over and over again and have had to contemplate from a intimate/custom standpint and what we want. Of course there are differences since we are two separate individuals, however, we have decided to keep it the bare minimal in order for us to keep our sanity through planning and the wedding itself. We are only inviting immediate family, inviting everyone we love would just be outrageous! I have personally talked to all of my cousins and let them know it was nothing personal, but we knew that not all of them (nor could we) afford everything. We are planning a cocktail hour 4 weeks after our DW to let everyone who will not be at WDW enjoy "us"! Stress is a normal feeling to have when planning a wedding, just don't let that be all that you feel, this is your magic day! Take a day off and don't think about it for a day to gain perspective, my personal favorite is taking a bath and listening to Sara Mclachlan, i know it is hard but you will get through this, you have done so much already to plan your day don't give up!

 

[FutureAshleyDukes]

I think you should still go to your planning session. I think being there planning out your special day, taking time off with your DH2B, and being at the most magical place on earth will definitely help you make the right decision. Maybe your kind of at a place where you're just looking at the bill and not so much seeing what the results might possibly be. I think being at the planning session and seeing things in person might help, just my opinion though. Either way you're going to be marrying the man you love! I don't think you'll have any regret either way when it's all over.

I hope you enjoy your planning session, and keep us updated for sure.

 

[twojo21]

well i know from personal experience as well but my advice would be to cut your guest list, extended family & old friends you havent seen in years just dont belong on a tight guest list & were the first to be cut on ours. we only wanted those close to us & those we love vice versa. the guest list is a big factor when it comes to your budget. so definetly sit down & think your guest list over. there's always room to reduce costs too with disney, ive been sticker shocked with quite a few items like our floral for $2500, i now have it reduced to $1600 for example. wedding planning can be stressful, maybe just take a step back & relax, sleep on decisions, enjoy some romantic time together & dont give up to quick, yes your marriage is the real issue but a wedding is a once in a lifetime event & hopefully something you will remember happily. best of luck & enjoy your planning session! we just had ours november 14th & it was real helpful seeing everything & finalizing most details. keep us posted.

 

[Codie]

I went through something similar as dh has a lot of family that he hadn't seen in over twenty years and did not even know/recognize their names. But because I had invited my cousins and their kids, I coudn't say no to his. Of course, his family is more than twice as large as mine...in the end our disney guest list was close to 260 (I was freaking out!!) and we were talking about changing venues and all sorts of stuff. AND this was in addition to the 250 we had invited to the at home reception...IN the end we had 100 guests in disney. MOST of those that had no clue who we were didn't come at all or at least only came to the at home reception. After my initial freakout--my fdh reminded me that it was just money (which coming from him was huge--he's the practical one of the two of us-of course my parents were footing most of the bill) and the more important thing was that we were getting married in the magical place that I wanted to get married. He offered that we would give all of our gift money to my parents to make up the difference if we had to. In the end, it was no worries. See if your husband would agree to a much less expensive at home party for those people, and if not, just relax and find a credit card with a good interest rate

 

[JonetteA]

I have tried to have the conversation with Leif about the guest list multiple times to no avail. All he tells me is that they are must haves. I have a meeting with our planner tomorrow. Really the only "splurges" we have right now are string quartet, Mickey and Minnie, a DJ at the reception, DVD player for the kids to watch in case they get bored, sparkling cider toast, and the dessert party. Most of the expense occurs b/c this is a park wedding you have to bus everyone there, with event guides, etc, when our guest total doubled, our cost doubled as well. One thing is that I have all of the kids having kid meals. I just have a migraine from all of the emotion. I am normally not like this which is the sad part. My grandmother is throwing an engagement party for us this weekend and the last thing I want to do is talk about this wedding.

 

[Janet2k]

Such wonderful advice has been shared in this thread. I am honored to post among folks with such compassion for their fellow Fairy Tale Wedding members.

When I was planning my vow renewal, the one area that I was most concerned about was the Floral Proposal. I had an incredible number of venues to enhance: (1) Wedding Pavilion, (2) Great Movie Ride Courtyard, (3) Great Movie Ride Gangster Area, (4) Great Movie Ride Western Area, (5) Great Movie Ride Land of Oz Area, and (6) Sorcerer’s Hat Icon Area. Yes, you read that right – I had six separate venues to worry about when most people only have to worry about two (the ceremony location and the reception location). Was I outta my mind to be planning a progressive dinner party that would encompass five venues? What had I gotten myself into?

I literally held my breath until my Floral Proposal arrived. And when it did, I made sure I was sitting down when I read it. And as I read it, I thanked the Heavens Above for what I found. It was absolutely perfect. My Floral Event Manager had given me just the right amount of touches for my vow renwal. There was nothing in my proposal that was extraneous. Not one thing. As a matter of fact, I was blown away by its simplicity. I bring this up because I want to show that Disney’s Event Managers can work miracles. As you read the rest of my post, you'll understand what I am talking about.

If a wedding couple finds that their proposal is too high, they should not hesitate to let their Event Manager know. They need to state exactly what they are willing to spend on the various aspects of their wedding. For example, if they only want to spend $500 on enhancing their ceremony’s location, they should state it. If that amount is $4,250, they should state it. If they don’t want any floral touches at their ceremony, they should state it. Disney’s Event Managers have heard it all. There is nothing that can be said that would shock them.

For my vow renewal, I didn’t think the Wedding Pavilion needed much decorating. It was a stunning venue just as it was. And since my husband and I were fairly simple people, I didn’t feel the need for elaborate floral arrangements. I thought it would be helpful if I shared the decorations that I chose for the Wedding Pavilion: click here. Pretty simple, huh? And that is exactly what I wanted – understated elegance. The Wedding Pavilion was stunning on its own. It honestly didn’t even need the candles and the floral arrangement on the altar.

If I had chosen not to use any decorations inside the Wedding Pavilion, Disney would have been perfectly okay with that. During my Planning Session, they did not put any pressure on me to jazz up the Wedding Pavilion. When we discussed that venue, I stated that I wanted to keep it simple. My reasoning was that the Wedding Pavilion was gorgeous on its own, plus my ceremony was only going to be 20 minutes long. I thought it was better to spend my money on other aspects of my vow renewal instead (for example, a Handprint Ceremony or a Dance Party or any other number of extra touches).

My Floral Event Manager listened intently to me as I spoke during my Planning Session. She must have taken meticulous notes because when my Floral Proposal arrived a few weeks later, it was perfection. For the Wedding Pavilion portion of my proposal, it listed the following items:

* Mixed coordinating floral arrangement in an etched Mickey and Minnie clear glass vase.
* Accent around vase/floral with (6) votive candles.
* Accent around vase/floral with (3) triple cylinder (rental) containers with floating candles.

That was all that was listed. There was nothing further. And it was exactly what I had asked for during my Planning Session. Have I mentioned lately how much I adore my Floral Event Manager? Well, I do. She's quite a woman.

As to the rest of my Floral Proposal, it was similar. Like I said, my Floral Event Manager must have taken meticulous notes because what was in my proposal was perfection. There was just the right amount of touches listed to enhance my venues. And if a venue did not need to be enhanced (for example, the Great Movie Ride’s courtyard for the Handprint Ceremony), there was nothing listed in the proposal for it.

As the date of my vow renewal drew near, I e-mailed my Floral Event Manager the following message:

- - - - - - -
Floral Event Manager,

I need to ask for your professional opinion regarding chairs. Do the chiavari chairs make for a more elegant look? I'm thinking that they do and thus am considering using them. I want to make certain that years from now when I'm viewing photographs of my vow renewal's dinner party, I have no regrets. Please advise.

Janet
- - - - - - -

Here was her response back to me:

- - - - - - -
Janet -

I am not so sure the chiavari style would go with our theming - they are a bamboo pattern and are very pretty, but don't really fit the individual themes in each venue. I love them and suggest using them when I can, but I am not sure they are the best fit for your party. I.e.: In western or gangster - I don't think they would look like they fit. Possibly use them at OZ. Dance area - I don't think so - especially if we keep the lighted tables...

Just my opinion....

Your Floral Event Manager
- - - - - - -

It did not escape my attention that what she was suggesting to me would require less money. And that meant that Disney would make less money. I found her honesty and attention to detail refreshing. She was a true professional who had my best interests at heart. So even though I initially wanted the chiavari chairs, I trusted her judgment and went with her suggestions. I knew she would not lead me astray. And she didn’t. My event was perfection.

My suggestion to anyone who feels their wedding budget is out of control is to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with their future spouse. And after they’ve done that, to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with their Wedding Planner / Event Manager. The Fairy Tale Weddings folks are true professionals. They will help you achieve a wedding that is perfect for you and your budget. Do not ever be afraid to ask them for help. You are not the first wedding couple to do so, and you will not be the last one to do so either.

I hope in some small way my post has helped.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I have tried to have the conversation with Leif about the guest list multiple times to no avail. All he tells me is that they are must haves.

Ask him how he realistically expects for you or whoever is paying for the wedding to afford such a large and extensive guest list. If you're not local, you may be in luck and have a number just unable to attend for any number of reasons. Keep your fingers crossed. Will he settle on sending out invitations in A and B rounds? The As being the very important and obligatory guests like parents, closest friends, etc; and, the Bs be everyone else? At least you could guage how many Bs you could send out as As return.

I have a meeting with our planner tomorrow. Really the only "splurges" we have right now are string quartet, Mickey and Minnie, a DJ at the reception, DVD player for the kids to watch in case they get bored, sparkling cider toast, and the dessert party.

You will have to be the one to figure out what you cut first, second, etc., to get the budget you need.

You can nix the DVD player. There's a much more cost-effective way of keeping the kids busy. Ask for Disney to supply a low round of 10 for the kids. Ask for it to be covered in white paper. Purchase a large basket and fill it with toys, coloring books, crayons, action figured, tiaras, stickers, etc. We got most of the stuff at the Dollar Store and Big Lots. Don't let Disney do the baskets for you. For one thing, the put markers and scissors in (I shuttered at the thought!) and they're $50 a pop. We did our's for maybe $25 and it's brimming with stuff.

What about cutting the sparkling cider for the toast and using what already is in the person's hand for the toast? I think Disney is absurd for a bottle of Martinelli's cider. It's $30 a bottle after corking fees. You can buy the stuff at the stoe for $4.00! They will charge you the $15 to cork it if you bring it in, too. I would get rid of it and have you guests use whatever is in hand. In all actuality, 50-70% of the cider is likely not to be used. You're already paying for the bar, right? Why pay twice when it's not likely to be used?

Most of the expense occurs b/c this is a park wedding you have to bus everyone there, with event guides, etc, when our guest total doubled, our cost doubled as well. One thing is that I have all of the kids having kid meals.

How you scored a park wedding, I don't know! EpCot? If it's Magic Kingdom, more power to you, girl! If your guest list has grown so much, maybe you want to re-evaluate moving to one of the other locations. The kids having the kids meals can save you a mint! And they're likely to actually enjoy them vs. the regular meals.

I just have a migraine from all of the emotion. I am normally not like this which is the sad part. My grandmother is throwing an engagement party for us this weekend and the last thing I want to do is talk about this wedding.

If it really is a migraine, sitting in front of the computer is the last thing you need. Migraines should make you sensitive to light, sound, and feel neausous. The computer screen is only going to make it worse. Take some Aleve, go to bed, and wait until the meeting with the planner tomorrow. You're stuck with the engagement party- have a good time with it and forget anout the planning. How pften do you see all your friends and family in one place to celebrate you?

xoxo

 

[Fantasia Sam]

Jonette {hugs} sweetie - I'll admit it I'm not so great with the budgetting but in hindsight I could have changed some of my floral, menu, bar bill and got my costs down.

I'm seeing you next week I know so we'll talk more then

 

[Mary626]

The longer I thought about my wedding and what I really wanted or was important to me, the lower and lower the budget got. It's funny how your mindset evolves. At the beginning, I thought I would just HAVE to have the satin chair covers at the reception.. I've been trying and trying to get my final budget to be around $15,000 and I finally decided - I think my day will be just as magical without the chair covers.. In the beginning I also thought I had to have 2 or 3 appetizer options at the pre-reception to keep my guests occupied (those things aren't cheap, they came out to like $500 per appetizer option!!)... And then I thought about it, and I realized it would be 10 am in the morning.. they can wait till 11:30 when our three course meal and cake will be served.. they will be plenty stuffed!! The drinking package was a tough one for me.. I really was thinking people would think it was tacky if I didn't have free alcohol readily available.. The more I read on this board about it and the more I thought about it.. I realized only three or four people in our group might have a problem with it.. I finally decided to go for the pre-paid soda/juice/water package and have a cash bar for the alcohol.. it will be afternoon.. if it is that big of a deal for people to get tipsy at my wedding then they can be the one's to pay for it, I figure... I think our guests will understand, and if they don't then I don't honestly care anymore.. They're going to get an awesome dessert party, an awesome meal, an awesome cake, get to see Minnie/Mickey and Stitch.. and are there to share OUR wedding day!!! I think that is enough Anything it takes to have my wedding at the most magical place on Earth AND walk away debt-free.. I will take it!!

Anyway my point is, things we think are MUST HAVE at the beginning, we later have to choose whether or not are that important to us. There are definitely quite a few people coming to our wedding that I wish weren't coming or I barely know.. but luckily not too many. If it got to the point where I couldn't afford my dream wedding because of those people - I would find a polite way to not invite those people.

Whatever it takes to have the wedding that YOU want!!

 

[bride2bee]

Hang in there JonetteA!! I know your wedding will be flawless.

 

[JonetteA]

Guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support. It really means alot. Since we are paying for this mostly ourselves it has really got me crazed!! I hope there is going to be relaxing time next week I think I need it after this year, and I am supposed to talk to Diane today, so maybe that can help!

 

[Gary_Flower]

Hang in there, it will all work out in the end.
We haven’t even started planning everything yet and it feels like we have already had so many problems with family (My family sadly) about attending and them trying to change our minds. Really does make you just want to quit and give up. But all weddings are like this sadly, hard times and easy times. Just got to go with what you want (as its your day no one else) and it will all work out perfect and everything you have wanted on the day.
Hope you sort everything out.

 

[pixie08]

Jonette ..I can understand where you are coming from and hope this works out for you. We are not even close to our wedding and already it is like well 3rd cousin bob which i have not spoken to in 5 vyears HS to be invited ...and well it HAS to be a saturday...etc. so hang in there.....JUst keep telling yourself this is YOURS and Leifs wedding and you can only do what makes you happy. PLUS you are having your dream wedding right? I know this is hard to say but have fun at your PS you will on ly be doing this once in your life!!!!!!!!1

 

[D&R love Disney]

Jonette I'm really sorry you are going through this, I wish I could offer some help.