CJK - I can totally relate. Christmas & Thanksgiving the past 5-6 years have been dreadful, as far as the family get-togethers have been. This year, DH has firmly stated - WE ARE NOT HOSTING - anything this year, due to the stress it puts on us. Plus, I don't enjoy it, and I get very little time off, so I can't just have a day to put my feet up, and go "AHHH".
We have issues with my DH's family, and 1 specific nephew, who is basically unattended, even though his parents are close by. I.e. if you bring your kid - please watch him, and don't make me the "bad guy" when I ask him to not go upstairs. And, don't let him slide down the stair rail when he does come down stairs. And, don't let him run in my house. It's just not big enough, especially when there are 15 or so people in the house. I can appreciate that he is "all boy" but - take him outside if he needs to burn a little steam off.
And, I'm not sure if I should even start on my family. A typical gathering for last Christmas happened last January. The date got moved 3 times, because my sister couldn't get her schedule figured out. No one can show up on time (1 sis is usually an hour late), and usually, several people come in - while I am working on dinner, and then need last-minute wrapping paper, can I use your computer, I need to make a certificate etc. But the icing last year, was - my sis - who we changed X-mas around for, came, ate, did presents, and then put their coats on and left. Apparently, my niece had a b-day sleepover to go to, and she didn't want to miss it. Needless to say, after that, DH said no more. I was just so ticked off last Christmas. And, my family can't help with anything, i.e. setting the table, clearing the dishes etc.
This year, it is "technically" our turn to host DH's family. He is one of 5 local kids, and we host every-other-year. Can you do the math there? Someone else will probably pick up the slack, and if they don't, I really don't care. We still are not hosting.
Of course, my family will be interesting, probably more so than usual. I am one of 3 kids, and I host every other year. (Again - do the math there.) The other sis (with the screwed up schedule last year) would normally be hosting. She is getting divorced now,, and things are just odd, so I'm not sure if my other sister will be hosting. I am not. I would be fine just mailing my presents to all the nieces and nephews, as well as my parents.
Yep, no stress going on here!
We've had a delightful Thanksgiving though. Just DH, DD and me. nice, good, we're not stuffed. And, after dinner, we put up the Christmas Tree. The only bummer is, I have to work tomorrow...since I work at a hospital, and even though I am not in a patient care area, they just don't believe in those long holiday weekends.
I don't have a terrible family or anything, I just feel myself slipping into familiar "roles" when I'm with all of my extended family. I feel like such a disappointment to my mother and my mother is paranoid of Christmas not going well for everyone involved. In other words, the stress level is HUGE. I dread all the house-hopping we have to do in order to accomodate everyone. I have reduced some of the obligations for this Christmas, but people are disappointed. I feel like we really lose what the season is REALLY all about and get lost in being busy and obligations.
