Am I setting a bad example?

[allicat]

DD has a friend who she gets along with great. They dont live close to each other so they dont play together every day.
We have a neighbor who is also DD's age. DD & neighbor play together but it is often strained. Our neighbor doesnt really hold a converstaion too well and she is not at the same maturity level as DD.

When DD, her friend and the neighbor have played together in the past it has been a less than great experience. Neighbor is jealous that DD has another friend and is mean to the friend etc.
I guess typical 2nd grade stuff.

DD begged me to just let her and her friend play today and not the neighbor too. I agreed but now I feel like Im setting the wrong example. But then again, I feel like why should I force DD to play with the neighbor just to keep peace. I dont want neighbors mother getting annoyed but the bottom line is that they dont play well together.

 

[Pam]

I think you had every right to do what you did. The neighbor girl is just that - a neighbor, not your child. She should not expect to play with your daughter when she (your DD) is having company.

I'm sure there are times when your neighbor has friends and family over at her house and does not invite your DD over. If asked, I would gently point this out to the Mom and DD.
Pam

 

[Lynn CC]

I don't think you are setting the wrong example at all. My DS has friends over to swim and doesn't invite the neighborhood kids over all the time when they are there. When they ring the bell I just tell them he has company and they may be out later to play.
The neighborhood kids used to go to the back gate and yell into the pool area to see if they could join-in. They just tell them that they will play another day.
It gets easier as they get older and when they're teenagers they ALL seem to get along better for some reason and they ALL can join-in.
When they are younger there is a lot of competition for one anothers attention.
I always tried to let my son decide who to play with. He has decided over the years that a lot of his "good" friends arn't so "good" anymore, so he chooses not to have them over or go places with them.
It's not easy, I'm sure your DD is having a lot of fun with who SHE chooses to play with!