Am I right to get upset

[CapeCodTenor]

This past Sunday I had a voice lesson scheduled for 2:30 pm. So I got up in the morning, proceeded to get dressed for church and left. Well, during church I got a headache that grew to be a massive headache, and I mean a massive headache that was making me sick to my stomach. So I called my voice teacher and his wife answers, and I say, “Is John there?” To which she replied, “Who’s this?” “Steven,” I said.” And then John answers the phone. I proceeded to tell him that I wasn’t going to be making it due me not feeling good and then we said our goodbyes and that was it. Well, today I emailed him to apologize for having to cancel on such a short notice, something I really hate doing, and he said, “No worries, I understand.” But, this was his P.S.:

I realize that when you called you had that splitting headache, but please try to be a bit more cordial over the phone - you're calling my home and not an office, and if Susan answers, at least say hi to her. She was mad that you seemed to treat her like she was the receptionist or a phone operator. That's all.

Now I know Susan, and normally I say hi, but am I right to get upset over how he said this? If I upset his wife, then just tell me that she was a upset because I didn’t say hi. But the way he put it made it sound as if I called and just berated her for some reason. Well, if anything thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Steffi]

Oh, please! You had a headache, you're a paying (I assume) customer, the wife needs to get over herself! I can't even imagine complaining to my DH that this client of his or that contractor didn't fall all over themselves to say hi to me when they called. And if I did complain to my DH about it, he would probably laugh and tell me to get over it; he certainly wouldn't tell his client, "Stop being mean to my wife, wah!"

 

[flipturngirl]

That is a little weird.... That is why I would get your teachers personal cell phone number so there is no mix ups. lol I take private lessons as well and well I forget to call and my teacher does not get mad. I think it is a little weird about the wife thing lol hope it gets better.

 

[Miranda Danda]

That is ridiculous. That women needs to get her panties out of a twist over nothing. You did nothing wrong.

 

[Maleficent13]

My un-PC opinion: He probably had to listen to her crab all the rest of the day about it...not your problem by any means, but maybe he promised her he'd say something to shut her up.

If he's a good teacher and you're pleased with everything else, I'd let it go.

 

[goofygirl]

Well I think SHE was rude by saying "Who's this?" She could have said, "Yes, John is here, may I ask who's calling? Sounds more polite than "Who's this?"

You should use phone etiquette whether at home or work, and whether you are answering for your spouse or boss.


She was rude on the phone, and rude when she said that YOU were rude.

 

[AprilShowers]

Here's how the convo would have gone at my house:
Me: Geez, CapeCodTenor was kinda rude on the phone, is he mad at me?
DH: Nah, he called because he has a killer headache and can't make his lesson.
Me: Ooooooh, I completely understand then.

I suffer from migraines, so that wouldn't have bothered me a bit.
It seems this wife is a little diva and her DH defends her "right" to be one. Sorry they were jerky.

 

[lulugirl]

His "PS" seems very petty to me.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Oh, brother, I can't believe that he even said anything to you! If it's an ongoing problem, that's one thing (in which case, he should address it to you when it happens at a time that he thinks you are being rude when you are feeling well). But you did nothing wrong really and they should cut you some slack since you weren't feeling well. Having said that, I would let it go. At most, the next time you see her, apologize for cutting it short when you called and say that I'm sure she can understand since you were not feeling well. But if I were to say that, it would have an edge to it, so I would just let it go. As long as you are happy in general, just chalk it up to her having a bad day, which is ironic since that's what they should have done for you.

 

[lindakmonty]

I would be upset!! Who does she think she is??? Please!! If he's running a business out of his home...I'd say if she's going to answer the phone, she should be like a receptionist and much more professional! I get headaches like that to the point it makes me sick...literally! I don't even know what I'm saying when someone calls me... just something like.."I've got a killer headache,I'll call you back later" I'm ticked off for you! that is ridiculous!!

 

[arminnie]

I realize that when you called you had that splitting headache, but please try to be a bit more cordial over the phone - you're calling my home and not an office, and if Susan answers, at least say hi to her. She was mad that you seemed to treat her like she was the receptionist or a phone operator. That's all.

Response I'd love to send:

I'm so sorry that she took that all out on you and that you are married to a person with so little compassion for a desperately sick person.

 

[princesspumpkin]

Yes, the wife may have overreacted, but I also believe in speaking to the person who answers the phone. Especially if you know them. Something like:
You: Hi Suzie, how are ya? Good, is John there? But,that's just me.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

You have a right to be upset. He was way out of line to talk to you like that. You are paying him and you are technically a "customer", you would think that he would have said it differently. Do you think that maybe it was his wife that wrote the e-mail? or I think that probably when you hung up she must have chewed him out and maybe he wrote it because she was angry with him and he is taking it out on you. If it really is bothering you by your next voice lesson, i would mention to him how you feel.
I am sure his e-mail just made your headache worse!

 

[Pam]

Well I think SHE was rude by saying "Who's this?" She could have said, "Yes, John is here, may I ask who's calling? Sounds more polite than "Who's this?"

You should use phone etiquette whether at home or work, and whether you are answering for your spouse or boss.


She was rude on the phone, and rude when she said that YOU were rude.

That was exactly my thought as well!

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Thanks for hearing me out everyone. Normally I would have said hello, but considering how I felt I thought it best to keep the conversation short. I gotta run, at work right now, but I'll get on later when I get home.

 

[disykat]

Here's how the convo would have gone at my house:
Me: Geez, CapeCodTenor was kinda rude on the phone, is he mad at me?
DH: Nah, he called because he has a killer headache and can't make his lesson.
Me: Ooooooh, I completely understand then.

I suffer from migraines, so that wouldn't have bothered me a bit.
It seems this wife is a little diva and her DH defends her "right" to be one. Sorry they were jerky.

I agree. Shame on them. There is absolutely no reason to even mention this unless it is an ongoing issue.

I'd be tempted to ask him how he would like you to notify him if there is an emergency regarding his lesson, since you'll be unable to phone him for fear of offending his wife.

 

[BillSears]

If I call someone's house I always say hi and have a small conversation with the person who answers if I know them. Even if I don't know then I say "Hi, may I speak to John" or some such.

If one of my daughters friends called and just said "Is Cacie there?". I'd be a little upset especially if they knew me. That's not how I was taught to speak on the phone and not how I'd expect to be treated. I wouldn't even answer the "Is Cacie there?" if I knew the person on the other end of the phone until I had abit of my own converstaion. I'd be saying Hi, How's it going, Etc.. then I'd go get my daughter.

I know you had a migraine and that is an excuse for the behavior. So I feel your response to the teacher should be something along the lines. "I am sorry about brushing off your wife so quickly. Normally I wouldn't do that but I was in pain and wanted to get off of the phone ASAP. Please let her know I apologize."

But of course all of the above is just my opinion.

 

[agnes!]

Well...I have a couple of thoughts.

1) She is being a jerk about this, *but*...

2) I know how hard it is to find a good voice teacher that you can actually afford. I would let it go this time, but if she starts butting into your professional relationship more and more? Then it would be time to think about finding a new teacher.

3) It's always a good practice to identify yourself when making a phone call. "This is CapeCodTenor, is FabulousVoiceTeacher in?". That being said, even *IF* you had identified yourself at the beginning of the phone call, she probably would still have found something to be peeved about. Sounds like there is something else going on here...

4) for all intents and purposes, "Susan" IS the receptionist! If she doesn't think that being a receptionist is an honorable profession, they need to get a separate business line and a business cell phone/pager/Blackberry. By the way, who else would answer the phone personally when FabulousVoiceTeacher is teaching a lesson? She should be proud to assist the family business, but instead acts like she wants to be chatted up?!?

Hope you're feeling better.
agnes
PS - Maybe FabulousVoiceTeacher had a headache when his wife gave him a piece of her mind, so that's why his "PS" came off a bit ungraciously ...

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

he sounds very petty for including that in the PS

 

[CapeCodTenor]

Again, thank you to everyone who has responded, I really do appreciate it. To those who have said that they would have carried on a bit conversation, be it, "Hi Susan, this is CapeCodTenor, how are you? Is John there?" I agree, and normally I do. But what I have an issue with is how this was brought to my attention. The way it was worded, and what I posted is exactly how it was worded, made it sound as if I had a problem with is wife and I called and laid in on her...when that wasn't the case. I'll agree I should have said more...it's the response I got from him that irritated me.