Am I over reacting?

[Smith2131]

This weekend we (DH, my parents, and 8 month old DD) are going to WDW. I am very excited to take our DD for th first time. There was only ONE thing I had planned to do with her this trip (the first of many, I am sure) and that was to get her first pair of mickey ears with her name on them and take a picture in front of the castle.

I just got a package in the mail from my mothr in law...minnie ears with her name on them. I feel silly for being upset, but I feel like she just stepped on my toes and "stole" my moment. She's not going on this trip, so I guess I understand she wants to be part of it, but really this trip has nothing to do with her. Now I feel like a jerk because I obviously have to give them to DD and thank her for them, but all I want to do is cry. I just feel like there are a million other things in the world she could of sent to let DD know she is thinking of her.

Over reacting?

 

[sparks19]

Well that depends....

did you TELL your mother in law that you were so looking forward to buying her a set of ears with her name on it at MK when you go?

If you didn't then yes you are over reacting. If you did tell her it was important to you and she still bought them then no you aren't over reacting.

You'll still get the photo op

But just think of it this way... if this is the WORST thing to happen with the trip then you are ahead of the game

 

[hannahdrewmom]

I do think you are over reacting on this one. You MIL is trying to do something nice and you are still the one that is going to get to have the experience of her in Disney.

Why not just keep the mouse ears for when you get there if you are really worried about it? You DD is 8 months old though. She isn't going to remember "who" gave her the ears and it might actually be a good thing for her to have them early. It may take a few tries to get her to leave them on.

Enjoy your trip. Disney isn't about the "stuff" you were going to get but the memories that you are going to make. There will be ALOT of firsts on this trip that will be meaningful and memorable. Enjoy those!

 

[ericalynn1979]

At 8 months old, she won't remember the ears, who gave them to her, or the photo. You are taking this trip for your memories and photos, to see her reactions to things.

It's an ear hat, it's not the end of the world. Thank MIL for the hat, take a picture in front of the castle with them on. Buy her "your" set of ears that you choose, take a picture in front of the castle with them. Easy solution.

She won't keep the ears on more than 15 seconds anyway Not that I've tried my 3 year old DD's ears on my 6 month old or anything

 

[Tybug]

The short answer... yes, you are over reacting.

 

[RMulieri]

Yes I think you are overreacting.

 

[brockash]

Why can't you just stay with your plan? You can still get your dd the ears that you want, can still take her pic in front of the castle with them. I don't really get the big deal Even if your MIL did it on purpose ect., really so what? She won't even be there, and your dd is 8 months old, she's not going to care or remember if you're using the ears MIL sent in advance or if you use/take pics in the one you pick out for her or both. I'd just stick with my plan, and still take the one's MIL sent, and take a few pics in both sets of ears. I really don't see the big deal at all.

 

[RMulieri]

Yes I think you are overreacting.

 

[ccgirl]

This weekend we (DH, my parents, and 8 month old DD) are going to WDW. I am very excited to take our DD for th first time. There was only ONE thing I had planned to do with her this trip (the first of many, I am sure) and that was to get her first pair of mickey ears with her name on them and take a picture in front of the castle.

I just got a package in the mail from my mothr in law...minnie ears with her name on them. I feel silly for being upset, but I feel like she just stepped on my toes and "stole" my moment. She's not going on this trip, so I guess I understand she wants to be part of it, but really this trip has nothing to do with her. Now I feel like a jerk because I obviously have to give them to DD and thank her for them, but all I want to do is cry. I just feel like there are a million other things in the world she could of sent to let DD know she is thinking of her.

Over reacting?

I agree with a PP; did you tell your MiL that is what you wanted to do? If not, they yes you are totally overreacting. Afterall, you are the one that is going and she is not. Maybe she was just trying to do something nice? Think of it as her saving you a little $$. There will be plenty of other things you can spend your money on.

 

[Smith2131]

Ok. Point taken.

I guess the thing I just realized is, everytime we try to do something with my parents that doesnt include her she "butts in". For example, I wanted to buy my daughter her Easter basket and was so excited to go to potterybarn kids and pick one out and get her name on it...and then the hugest basket from there shows up from my MIL. Low and behold my parents were also coming for Easter and she wasn't. She hasn't bought a anything for DD since then...then we go to Disney with my parents and there is one thing I want to do for her and guess what shows up at the door. I know it's petty, but her vs my parents aside there are some things I get excited to do for my daughter and somehow she always beats me to it. I want to say "her heart is in the right place" but looking at the pattern, I don't feel like it is. I feel like it's a way for her to get the one up on me and my parents.

Oh well, life goes on...

 

[disny_luvr]

I'd have to agree with everyone else in that I think you are overreacting. Go and have a great time and don't worry about who bought the Mickey ears.

 

[Miss Peach]

[...] I know it's petty[...]

If you really want sympathy you will need to come up with more than your MIL buys your DD too many presents.

Sorry,

Cathy

 

[sparks19]

Ok. Point taken.

I guess the thing I just realized is, everytime we try to do something with my parents that doesnt include her she "butts in". For example, I wanted to buy my daughter her Easter basket and was so excited to go to potterybarn kids and pick one out and get her name on it...and then the hugest basket from there shows up from my MIL. Low and behold my parents were also coming for Easter and she wasn't. She hasn't bought a anything for DD since then...then we go to Disney with my parents and there is one thing I want to do for her and guess what shows up at the door. I know it's petty, but her vs my parents aside there are some things I get excited to do for my daughter and somehow she always beats me to it. I want to say "her heart is in the right place" but looking at the pattern, I don't feel like it is. I feel like it's a way for her to get the one up on me and my parents.

Oh well, life goes on...

So you told her that you were excited to get DD;s first easter basket from pottery barn and then she went and got it anyway knowing you wanted to do that particular thing? and then same with the hat? She knew that was a specific thing you were looking forward to providing and then went and got one anyway?

if that is the case then I can definitely see your point in feeling that she's trying to one up everyone but if she just bought a basket and just bought a hat with no idea that that's what you wanted then you can't really expect her to be a mind reader.

I think it's harder for us ladies with Mothers in law. It's hard not to compare them to our own mothers. I adore my MIL but I know I can sometimes take things she says or does the wrong way because I feel like she's trying to take my moms place and while it's totally illogical to even think that it seems that a lot of women have this issue. but my MIL doesn't go out of her way to do things that I tell her I'm looking forward to doing with DD for the first time.

 

[Smith2131]

If you really want sympathy you will need to come up with more than your MIL buys your DD too many presents.

Sorry,

Cathy

She doesn't buy her anything unless it has to do with something she's not included in. Thats my point.

Oh well, I don't think I am going to win here. LOL. BUT all the poeple that I have told that know her and how she is...agree with me. She just loves to step on my toes.

 

[sparks19]

it's not about winning or being right... at least it shouldn't be. It should be about figuring out how to handle it so everyone is happy. Have you talked to your husband about it? Maybe have him talk to her? I know when I feel like my MIL has overstepped I have hubby handle it. It's his mother and it will be better received coming from him and he also won't feel the need to sugar coat things like I would hahaha. so he gets the point across.

If it really bothers you then talk to the people who can help fix it so that all can be happy and live in harmony lol

 

[mr224]

Hey, it saves you money! Just kidding But I see where you're coming from, it was your thing. I agree, sometimes you don't always want to include your mother in law in everything... But it is just a hat. No big deal. Just enjoy your vacation!

 

[Smith2131]

I know it's just a hat...I'm sure I will be over it in a few hours. I just needed to vent. It hurt my feelings. There are somethings in life I just want to say to DD "I really enjoyed getting this for you". I am nice to MIL and I go out of my way to make her feel included and as much as DD life as I can being 2000 miles away. Thats why things like this bother me. But like I said...life will go on!

 

[mom2princesss]

Over reacting? Yes, but I get where you are coming from and I would feel the same way.

Of course, you have the perfect solution. You have an 8 month old. 8 month old + mini ears = destroyed mini ears in about 27 seconds. So give them to her and then tell MIL how much she enjoyed them and send her of pic of DD with the mangled ears. Then go to WDW, get new ears and take your pic.

Or, you can "forget" them on your trip and HAVE to get new ones for the pic.

But, that is what I would do and I'm not always the most diplomatic person where my MIL is concerned.

 

[sparks19]

but it all comes back to....

Does she KNOW this bothers you? Have you told her it hurts your feelings? it's entirely possible (without knowing her of course lol) that she thinks she's doing a nice thing ... and maybe she's just an underhanded witch lol

 

[jdb in AZ]

If she showed up at WDW uninvited and tried to control your vacay, that would be interfering.

We drove 700 miles to spend Thanksgiving weekend with my family, whom we hadn't seen in over a year. Also had an extended-family reunion planned for that Sunday. The in-laws, who lived less than a mile from our home, drove 600+ miles to spend Thanksgiving with their dtr, so they were basically 90 miles south of us. Since my family's big party was on Sunday, the in-laws expected us to cancel Thanksgiving with my family and spend it with them. hullo? We held firm on having Thanksgiving with my family, but were coerced into having family pictures with the in-lawz on Saturday.