Am I over-reacting?

[cindys_castle2011]

Kelsi. I don't know what others have said, but to me it seems like both over-reacting and not over-reacting. Hmm... that might not make sense.
The thing is i don't think it's over-reacting because you care about these people. You want to know how they are and if their safe. And you can never use over reaction in the same sentence when talking about the love and care you feel for the people closest to you. But he's your boyfriend, so maybe the texts aren't necessarily worth it, shouldn't you trust him to do the right thing? And as for the rest of the people, maybe they're sensible enough to look after themselves. Though i guess i understand about your situation with you're boyfriend, in a way. I try to make sure that i know my boyfriend is ok. If he's hurt i like to know what's happening. But i know that there's isn't anything i can do (whether it's the distance's fault or not), and i just trust the people around him to look after him.
But the way you put it makes it sound as though you are constantly checking up on them. So it may appear a little like over-reacting. You know, even if they did say they were in trouble, there isn't anything you could do about that person's situatuion anyways, regardless of whether you knew what was happening or not. Is there? I dunno, maybe i'm just talking trash. But i guess that if those people know what you are like and know that you are like this, maybe it's not over-reacting to them either

I'm not trying to criticise you at all. I'm just saying that maybe you should ease up a bit? I mean, it wouldn;t hurt just to make sure what's going on, but not constantly make sure everything is ok. Like, make sure where they are and what they're doing. Check that the situation is fine and maybe if you don;t like it, suggest they do something to ease the worry. but don;t constajnly make sure that they're okay. yeah?

I guess that whole post didn't mean much? I think i just talked a load of rubbish and prbably got the wrong end of the convo. but let me know if it...helped, yeah?

I do trust him to do the right thing. I've already said that. This has kinda turned into a him drinking or doing some wrong thing. I'm not worried about any of that. What was bothering me was that he was with people who were drinking. I wasn't comfortable with that because of drunk driving.

I just kinda made this thread to see if, asking him where he was every now and then, or asking him to go home if they start drinking, is a bad thing.

I didn't wanna seem like that kinda girlfriend thats always texting and calling him to find out where he is and who he's with. He know's I'm not and I just didn't want him to think that I was turning into that.


And to Sparx.

I don't text him 24/7 with obsessive questions. I usually know where he's at and who he's with anyway. He tells me beforehand, just like I tell him. I guess thats just our relationship.

When we were texting last night, we were having a normal conversation.. but every now and then I'd ask where they were. I don't see that being a bad thing, or obsessive?

 

[ArielsLittleSister]

No worries im like dat 2 take a chill pill and relax hang wit some of ur gurls and just keep textin him to make sure everythings alright.

 

[wilmabride'sdaughter]

I do trust him to do the right thing. I've already said that. This has kinda turned into a him drinking or doing some wrong thing. I'm not worried about any of that. What was bothering me was that he was with people who were drinking. I wasn't comfortable with that because of drunk driving.

I just kinda made this thread to see if, asking him where he was every now and then, or asking him to go home if they start drinking, is a bad thing.

I didn't wanna seem like that kinda girlfriend thats always texting and calling him to find out where he is and who he's with. He know's I'm not and I just didn't want him to think that I was turning into that.


And to Sparx.

I don't text him 24/7 with obsessive questions. I usually know where he's at and who he's with anyway. He tells me beforehand, just like I tell him. I guess thats just our relationship.

When we were texting last night, we were having a normal conversation.. but every now and then I'd ask where they were. I don't see that being a bad thing, or obsessive?

Aww Kelsi, you didn't make him sounds bad. I didn't take it that way anyways. I just meant in general, trusting him . I guess all i was trying to say is that it can be taken both ways. But, I don't think you're obsessed or over-reacting. And if the people know you to be like that, and they don't think it's over-reacting, then you shouldn't worry about it. You just want them to be safe, right

 

[VolleyballQt07]

You want him to be safe. I get that. But making him text you wherever he goes, whenever he's with someone, etc.. . .that's a little obsessive. I know you're his girlfriend and you're supposed to care about him...but just cut the umbilical(sp?) cord for crying out loud. He's what? 16? 17? He doesn't need to be monitored 24/7. . .that's what parents are for.

As for the drinking thing;; I don't really know what to tell you. If he's out with those guys who are heavy drinkers he'll most likely drink. . .it's called peer pressure. Yeah he says he doesn't do it, but like Shelby said, if you're not with him 24/7 you don't know if he's doing it or not. Guys like telling girls lies because it's what we want to hear and half the time it's not the truth.

But really..he'll be fine. From what you've said, he's smart so he knows what his limits are. It's good that you're so concerned but you may want to ease up a bit. Guys don't like being "monitored" 24/7.

 

[JulielovesDisney]

Kelsi, I don't think you are over reacting. If you two were having a normal convo through texts and you would occasionally ask where he was or what was going on, that's normal. My BF and I do that. It's normal to want to know where the person you care about is, or what he/she is doing.

Now...if you were texting him just asking "Where are you?" and being really anal about it, then I'd be telling you something different. lol

But don't worry. If that's the kind of relationship you and you're BF have, and you trust him, there's no need to worry about what other people are saying on here.

And just because he's with a couple guys who are heavy drinkers, doesn't mean he's going to. I'm completely against smoking, and I have a few friends who do smoke. They've offered me cigarettes, and I've always turned them down, even if they tried to pressure me. Peer pressure really isn't all the bad and not everyone gives in to it. So I'm sure you BF was able to turn down any offerings of alcohol or whatever, especially if he really isn't into it. It's just as easy to say no, as it is to say yes.

 

[DramaQueen]

To be honest Kesli, I agree with Sian, in that you are sort of not over reacting, but sort of over reacting. It's totally understandable that you want to know your BF is safe--especially in the circumstance where he's with people who are drinking. But, if he's not drinking himself, then he should be smart enough not to get in a car with someone who has. It's normal that you'd want to make sure he's safe.

With me & my BF, if we're doing someone with our friends and the other is not there, we usually call or text when we get there and call or text when we get home, just so we know the other person is home safe without seeming too clingy or over protective, and it's nice to have that freedom.

I would say asking him to come home if his friends start drinking is a bit over reacting. Like you said, he doesn't drink, but he should still be allowed to have fun with his friends. And like I said previously, he should be smart enough (and you should trust him to be smart enough) to know when to come home/ when to call for a ride if he needs one. I would get verrrry annoyed if someone asked me to come home while I was out having fun. hehe

Anyways, that's just my 2 cents. You guys seem like you have a good relationship and you have no reason not to trust him/his judgement, so I would just tell him I'd like to hear from him so I know he's safe and let him text me instead of texting him.