Am I over-reacting?

[cindys_castle2011]

I'm VERY over-protective of the people around me. Especially since my best friend got in that wreck last week.

Everytime I'm texting my boyfriend, or friends I'm like 'where are you?' 'who are you with?' 'when are you going home?' 'you better text or call me when you get where ever you're going!'

I can't help that, I've always been really protective like that.

Well my boyfriend is out with his friends now. I like him to tell me like when he leaves, and where he's going. And he knows that, because he knows how I am. Anyways he didn't tell me till like ten minutes ago, and he said he's been with them for about an hour. They've just been ridding around but I'd at least think he could've told me. But that isn't why I'm upset.

The three guys he's ridding around with are big drinkers. He doesn't drink at all, and I know that. But him being with three other guys that drink excessively has me really nervous. I know he's not going to drink, I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about the other guys drinking, WHILE they're ridding around still.

Garrett knows how I am about drinking and driving. He know's the things I've gone through with that, and the people I've lost due to drunk drivers.

I've told him, that if they start to drink then just ask them to take him home. And he keeps saying "Kelsi, calm down. It's not a big deal." He keeps telling me they've already said they're not going to drink.. I want to believe him, but I know they're past. I know how they are.

Do I have a right to be upset/worried/etc. Or am I over-reacting?

 

[nerdylightbulb]

I don't think you're overreacting. But if your boyfriend hangs out with 3 guys that are heavy drinkers, he more than likely drinks too.

 

[Sparx]

i think the obsessive texting is overreacting and i would probably turn my phone off if someone did that to me.

and if people hang out with heavy drinkers, they probably drink. even if they don't tell you about it.

 

[cindys_castle2011]

I don't think you're overreacting. But if your boyfriend hangs out with 3 guys that are heavy drinkers, he more than likely drinks too.

i think the obsessive texting is overreacting and i would probably turn my phone off if someone did that to me.

and if people hang out with heavy drinkers, they probably drink. even if they don't tell you about it.

He doesn't drink. I know that for a fact. He was raised better than that, he knows better. Whether you believe it or not, I know he doesn't.

I know that it's probably irritating to him, but I almost lost my bestfriend to a car wreck. I'm just scared of going through all that again, but with him. I'm just being careful. I want to know, where he is and who he's with when he's ridding around like that.

 

[metsluva57]

I don't think so. You just want him to be safe, which I think is great.

 

[Sparx]

He doesn't drink. I know that for a fact. He was raised better than that, he knows better. Whether you believe it or not, I know he doesn't.

I know that it's probably irritating to him, but I almost lost my bestfriend to a car wreck. I'm just scared of going through all that again, but with him. I'm just being careful. I want to know, where he is and who he's with when he's ridding around like that.

unless you're with him 24/7, you honestly don't. he knows that you're crazy obsessive about drinking, and honestly, thats all the more reason not to tell you when he does.

even if you text him, he could still be in a car wreck.

 

[PigletGurl]

omg im really protective too. i dont think ure overreacting, it just shows how much you love him. <3

 

[imabrat]

Yes, you are over-reacting. Just because someone knows better doesn't mean they won't do something anyway. My friend watched me struggle with cancer, yet she still decides to smoke. Oh well, her business - I razzle her about it all the time but I can't tell her what to do.
I know you hate to hear this, but YOU cannot keep him safe short of wrapping him in bubble wrap and never letting him leave. You care about him but you have to let him be his own person and do his own thing sometimes.

 

[cindys_castle2011]

unless you're with him 24/7, you honestly don't. he knows that you're crazy obsessive about drinking, and honestly, thats all the more reason not to tell you when he does.

even if you text him, he could still be in a car wreck.

Okay, like I've said he doesn't drink. Lets just stop that there. Sorry if I sounded rude, I'm not meaning to be. But you don't know him. I, being his girlfriend of almost a year, and grew up right next door to him, I know for a fact he does not drink. And I know he wouldn't lie to me. Whats the point of even having a relationship when it's filled with lies.

I know he could still be in a wreck. But it's just that I know as long as he's texting back, he's okay. Thats just me, and I can't help that..

 

[Sparx]

Okay, like I've said he doesn't drink. Lets just stop that there. Sorry if I sounded rude, I'm not meaning to be. But you don't know him. I, being his girlfriend of almost a year, and grew up right next door to him, I know for a fact he does not drink. And I know he wouldn't lie to me. Whats the point of even having a relationship when it's filled with lies.

I know he could still be in a wreck. But it's just that I know as long as he's texting back, he's okay. Thats just me, and I can't help that..

i don't know. i don't have a relationship filled with lies. but i do know, for a fact, that you can be doing anything, and if the person you're talking to only reads 140 characters about it, whenever you feel like responding, you could be doing just about anything, and tell them that you're sitting at home, safe and sound.

and if you're really that disturbed by him being with these friends, why doesn't he respect your opinion and not hang out with them, let alone not go "riding around" with them and not tell you about it till far into it?

 

[cindys_castle2011]

i don't know. i don't have a relationship filled with lies. but i do know, for a fact, that you can be doing anything, and if the person you're talking to only reads 140 characters about it, whenever you feel like responding, you could be doing just about anything, and tell them that you're sitting at home, safe and sound.

and if you're really that disturbed by him being with these friends, why doesn't he respect your opinion and not hang out with them, let alone not go "riding around" with them and not tell you about it till far into it?

Your right, anyone could be out drinking, smoking, doing whatever while texting me saying they're sitting on the couch eating bon bon's. But this is MY boyfriend, not just someone. I trust him, and I know I have many reasons to trust him.

I'm not going to make him stop hanging out with someone he's been best friends with since pre-k. That's not my place, I care for him enough to not tell him who he can and can not hang out with, even if I don't necessarily love the thought of it.

 

[Sparx]

Your right, anyone could be out drinking, smoking, doing whatever while texting me saying they're sitting on the couch eating bon bon's. But this is MY boyfriend, not just someone. I trust him, and I know I have many reasons to trust him.

I'm not going to make him stop hanging out with someone he's been best friends with since pre-k. That's not my place, I care for him enough to not tell him who he can and can not hang out with, even if I don't necessarily love the thought of it.

i'm not even really sure why you posted this thread when you didn't want to be told the truth, that you are overreacting. f

 

[pitt02]

Yes you have the right to be a little nervous about the situation especially if youve felt the affects of one you care about in a car wreak. And I dont understand why everyone is saying if your friends are heavy drinkers you have to be too bc alot of my friends drink alot and get hammered but I dont drink.

 

[life of the party]

i think your being a little crazy with all the texting
that would annoy me big time

but your not overreacting IMO

 

[cindys_castle2011]

i'm not even really sure why you posted this thread when you didn't want to be told the truth, that you are overreacting. f

Not truth, opinions..
But it's not that I'm getting mad/upset over what you're saying. I'm just trying to get you to see a little my way on thisYes, I'm gonna try and explain myself when someone says I'm over-reacting.. anyone would do that.

Yes you have the right to be a little nervous about the situation especially if youve felt the affects of one you care about in a car wreak. And I dont understand why everyone is saying if your friends are heavy drinkers you have to be too bc alot of my friends drink alot and get hammered but I dont drink.

Exactly. I don't drink, but most of my friends do. Everyone knows I don't, it's not like they all say 'she's lying, she has to drink if all her friends do.' I'm my own person, I make my own decisions. Just like each of you, you don't do EVERYTHING your friends do.. right.

i think your being a little crazy with all the texting
that would annoy me big time

but your not overreacting IMO

Maybe, I worded the whole texting thing wrong. I'm not steadily texting him, just in our conversation I'll come out with a 'where are you'? I just like to know. It makes me feel better when I know where my friends, family, and boyfriend are.

 

[KidGoofy]

Your not over-reacting at all if he knows about what has happened in your past with drunk drivers...and I am guessing he does because 1.) You said you grew up next to him 2.) You have been in a relationship for a while and you said you tell him the truth all the time.

It doesnt hurt if you text him like that it shows you care about him...and this is coming from a GUYS opinion not a girls...so you can believe me.

 

[Sparx]

Not truth, opinions..
But it's not that I'm getting mad/upset over what you're saying. I'm just trying to get you to see a little my way on thisYes, I'm gonna try and explain myself when someone says I'm over-reacting.. anyone would do that.



Exactly. I don't drink, but most of my friends do. Everyone knows I don't, it's not like they all say 'she's lying, she has to drink if all her friends do.' I'm my own person, I make my own decisions. Just like each of you, you don't do EVERYTHING your friends do.. right.



Maybe, I worded the whole texting thing wrong. I'm not steadily texting him, just in our conversation I'll come out with a 'where are you'? I just like to know. It makes me feel better when I know where my friends, family, and boyfriend are.

that makes more sense. but like, if you were doing it how you said in the first post, that would be SO annoying. i used to date a guy who would call me (at work) and start freaking out when i didn't answer and send me like 10 texts asking why i didn't answer. and then he'd call back. this would go on for hours. (i couldn't exactly text back becuase i was a dishwasher, and my hands were always really wet.) the part that really annoyed me was that he knew i was at work. i'd let him know when i got there.

so taths what that part of your post sounded like, to me. and acting like that, is definitely over reacting.

 

[wilmabride'sdaughter]

Kelsi. I don't know what others have said, but to me it seems like both over-reacting and not over-reacting. Hmm... that might not make sense.
The thing is i don't think it's over-reacting because you care about these people. You want to know how they are and if their safe. And you can never use over reaction in the same sentence when talking about the love and care you feel for the people closest to you. But he's your boyfriend, so maybe the texts aren't necessarily worth it, shouldn't you trust him to do the right thing? And as for the rest of the people, maybe they're sensible enough to look after themselves. Though i guess i understand about your situation with you're boyfriend, in a way. I try to make sure that i know my boyfriend is ok. If he's hurt i like to know what's happening. But i know that there's isn't anything i can do (whether it's the distance's fault or not), and i just trust the people around him to look after him.
But the way you put it makes it sound as though you are constantly checking up on them. So it may appear a little like over-reacting. You know, even if they did say they were in trouble, there isn't anything you could do about that person's situatuion anyways, regardless of whether you knew what was happening or not. Is there? I dunno, maybe i'm just talking trash. But i guess that if those people know what you are like and know that you are like this, maybe it's not over-reacting to them either

I'm not trying to criticise you at all. I'm just saying that maybe you should ease up a bit? I mean, it wouldn;t hurt just to make sure what's going on, but not constantly make sure everything is ok. Like, make sure where they are and what they're doing. Check that the situation is fine and maybe if you don;t like it, suggest they do something to ease the worry. but don;t constajnly make sure that they're okay. yeah?

I guess that whole post didn't mean much? I think i just talked a load of rubbish and prbably got the wrong end of the convo. but let me know if it...helped, yeah?

 

[Sparx]

Kelsi. I don't know what others have said, but to me it seems like both over-reacting and not over-reacting. Hmm... that might not make sense.
The thing is i don't think it's over-reacting because you care about these people. You want to know how they are and if their safe. And you can never use over reaction in the same sentence when talking about the love and care you feel for the people closest to you. But he's your boyfriend, so maybe the texts aren't necessarily worth it, shouldn't you trust him to do the right thing? I totally understand how you feel, though. I'm always making sure my boyfriend is ok. If he's hurt i like to know what's happening. But i know that there's isn't anything i can do (whether it's the distance's fault or not), and i just trust the people around him to look after him. but i guess that if those people know what you are like and know that you are like this, maybe it;s not over-reacting to them either

But the way you put it makes it sound as though you are constantly checking up on them. So it may appear a little like over-reacting. You know, even if they did say they were in trouble, there isn't anything you could do about that person's situatuion anyways, regardless of whether you knew what was happening or not. Is there? I dunno, maybe i'm just talking trash.

I'm not trying to criticise you at all. I'm just saying that maybe you should ease up a bit? I mean, it wouldn;t hurt just to make sure what's going on, but not constantly make sure everything is ok. Like, make sure where they are and what they're doing. Check that the situation is fine and maybe if you don;t like it, suggest they do something to ease the worry. but don;t constajnly make sure that they're okay. yeah?

I guess that whole post didn't mean much? I think i just talked a load of rubbish and prbably got the wrong end of the convo. but let me know if it...helped, yeah?

thats what i've been trying to say for the whole thread.

 

[wilmabride'sdaughter]

thats what i've been trying to say for the whole thread.

Great minds think alike