Am I just being an overprotective grandma?

[tnd]

I don't think you are being overprotective at all. My husband is a doctor and works in a poison control center. He has seen all sorts of terrible outcomes from kids finding their parents' or grandparents' medication, or getting into common household products. Unless they are watching their child 24/7, which is basically impossible, they really should be taking precautions. I am not sure what you can do as a grandparent, but I think your concern is totally justified.

 

[BABY_EINSTEIN'S_MOM]

I have some family that "parents" this way. I am so nervous when I am with them that I spend all of my time watching over their children. Their oldest has had many falls(yes down stairs also). I just hope the youngest makes it okay or that they put up stair gates soon. He just turned one and has already been climbing the stairs. They seem to think it is a funny thing to share with us that he can climb the stairs. The mom told me that he climbed the stairs and was smiling/waving from the top. I finally said, "well if he fell to the bottom onto the ceramic tile I don't think he would be smiling or waving anymore!!!! They are like..well we may have to put a gate up soon..?? when is soon..it may be too late by then!!! I worry about these kids ALL the time.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

We did not/have not baby proofed. My DD does not get into anything, although I am ALWAYS by her. I would never, ever allow that door to be unlocked...

However, I am surprised by the 'young first time mom' comment.. a mother of any age could behave the way your DD is. I'm a young mom (24) but I would never put my DD in a potentially harmful situation.

My mother is very critical of my parenting, and gives out advice any chance she gets, so when you bring this up to your DD you will have to do it in a way that won't harm your relationship with her.

One last thing - not only is the busy street alarming, but the fact that any person off the street could see they have a baby and be an intruder? A little extreme of an example, but you can't tell me these things do not happen..

 

[perkinsrose]

We did not/have not baby proofed. My DD does not get into anything, although I am ALWAYS by her. I would never, ever allow that door to be unlocked...

However, I am surprised by the 'young first time mom' comment.. a mother of any age could behave the way your DD is. I'm a young mom (24) but I would never put my DD in a potentially harmful situation.

My mother is very critical of my parenting, and gives out advice any chance she gets, so when you bring this up to your DD you will have to do it in a way that won't harm your relationship with her.

One last thing - not only is the busy street alarming, but the fact that any person off the street could see they have a baby and be an intruder? A little extreme of an example, but you can't tell me these things do not happen..

While certainly NOT a prevalent crime, last year in a Detroit suburb a rapist was targeting young mothers with children at home and unlocked doors. At least 2 victims were raped with young children present. You don't have to live your life in fear, but locking the door takes a second or two and seems like a good habit to make.


I believe the rapist was since apprehended.

http://www.pressandguide.com/stories/102407/loc_20071024002.shtml

 

[KSG'sDisneyMem]

I agree that the door is most alarming to me. I am a grandmother of three (two households DD and DS) and they are young parents as well. DD is good about child proofing as she is an early childhood educator and used to be a CNA. DS and DIL on the other hand scare me often. They learned a lesson when DGD (2) opened door to back porch and got out there. They did not know where she was for a few moments but thank God DIL's father was out in the back yard at the time. They were able to get to her before she fell over the edge (they live on the second floor) as she was trying to climb over the rail!! They have since installed a chain lock up high on that door! Things can happen very quickly. However, you have to consider how much is too much to say. You have to, even though it may go against your own beliefs, respect their wishes on how they have agreed to raise their child. It is a parents choice, but at the same time they must act responsibly with the raising of their child as well. Maybe focus on one thing such as the door, and talk calmly with your daughter regarding what your fears are. She may come around to make an adjusment or just set your mind more at ease. Good luck.

 

[Mahnahmahnah]

I agree that the door is most alarming to me. I am a grandmother of three (two households DD and DS) and they are young parents as well. DD is good about child proofing as she is an early childhood educator and used to be a CNA. DS and DIL on the other hand scare me often. They learned a lesson when DGD (2) opened door to back porch and got out there. They did not know where she was for a few moments but thank God DIL's father was out in the back yard at the time. They were able to get to her before she fell over the edge (they live on the second floor) as she was trying to climb over the rail!! They have since installed a chain lock up high on that door! Things can happen very quickly. However, you have to consider how much is too much to say. You have to, even though it may go against your own beliefs, respect their wishes on how they have agreed to raise their child. It is a parents choice, but at the same time they must act responsibly with the raising of their child as well. Maybe focus on one thing such as the door, and talk calmly with your daughter regarding what your fears are. She may come around to make an adjusment or just set your mind more at ease. Good luck.

Excellent!


Rather than say "OMG!!!! DS may get out that door - are you crazy? You should be childproofing better!!!."

That will only get this

Maybe say to her " I'm a little concerned DS may get out the door and get hurt. Have you considered a gate or something? Next time I go to Walmart I'll look for a safety gate or something for you."

That will get her to think and respond better to your suggestion.

 

[vcgirl925]

I guess we sort of believe the same thing.

We did the bare minimums with child proofing. We locked doors, put cleansers on a high shelf, kept meds up high in the medicine cabinet, and only had a gate at the stares and we had outlet covers. That was it! We think it's better to teach kids they can't touch things, what are they going to do when they go to someones house that isn't childproofed?

I agree that some of the things they are doing sounds dangerous, like the candles and the door being left open. You are a grandmother and have a right to your opinion. I would tell her how you feel and then leave it alone from there.

 

[parmtoo]

I am also a Grandparent. I don't think your being over protective at all.
It's so hard to have concerns w/ granskids, b/c our own children often don't really want our advise. I would just try to discuss it with your DD in a casual way and hope she listens.
I have come to realize with both of my DD's that they are much more likely to have a positive response if I am very careful about how I say things. They often feel offended by their inlaws, so I make the extra effort.

 

[DiznEeyore]

"He'll only do it once"

Yep, and he'll only die once too! As most others, I can see both sides of the issue. BUT, a child's safety is at stake here. This is where a parent needs to make the environment safe for the child and teach the child at the same time.

ITA!!

What kind of mother takes that kind of cavalier attitude towards her child's safety? I was a young mother too (barely 23 when ds was born), but no way would thoughts like that ever have occurred to me!!

When my ds was about 20 months old, he went into the bathroom and grabbed my unplugged but still hot curling iron with both hands! I can't even describe what it was like trying to peel his hands off of the barrel with his burned skin tearing away while he screamed and cried. It makes me want to throw up. And fourteen years later, it still makes me tear up to remember that day and what my baby had to go through as far as treatment and recovery for weeks afterward.

Did he ever touch my curling iron again? No, but I'd have given almost anything for him not to have touched it that one and only time.

Share that story with your daughter. See if it's something she really wants to experience with her child.

 

[kafitty]

i don't think you're being overprotective. obviously everyone is different, but speaking as a person who was (and still is ) very accident prone, it's amazing how fast bad things can happen!

i'd be very nervous too, and i wish you luck on approaching this situation with your DD.