Am I cynical or is this tacky?

[AlexandNessa]

OK, here's the deal...

In Nov. 2002, we went out of town to a wedding of casual friends, Michelle and Darren. We have heard from the couple marginally since their wedding.

Just Friday (as in July 23, 2004). we just received a thank-you note for our generous weddding gift. OK, life happens, and I didn't think too much of getting a thank you note 20 months later.

Until...what do I get in the mail today, but an invitation to Michelle's baby shower!

First of all, I didn't even know Michelle was pregnant, much less expecting a boy who they will name Andrew (I guess in case I want to get anything monogrammed). The mom-to-be has registered at Baby's-R-Us for my convenience.

I know I'm not going to the shower (too far away and inconvenient for someone I didn't even know was pregnant), but I'm trying to figure out how much effort I want to spend on this gift, if at all.

Any thoughts?

 

[Pugdog007]

That's unbelievably tacky! And to be so obvious!

If I were feeling generous, I'd send a card of Congrats. Nothing more.

 

[onecoolmama]

That is a little crazy. I think I would go see what is on the registry, maybe do a couple of little things in a gift box. (Especially if you have to mail it.)

 

[MagicalMom]

I'd wait 2 years & then send a cute little newborn outfit! Just kidding!

 

[Tina]

Wait 20 months, then either return the RSVP, declining the invitation or send a cheap gift that would be completely useless to a 20 month-old child, such as a pack of infant size sleepers.

 

[Alicnwondrln]

thats just rude
id send a congrats note thats it
good luck

 

[Tina]

Magical Mom, we think alike!!!

 

[poohandwendy]

I would respond in ohhhhh....about 20 months....jk

I would send a nice 'best wishes for your new baby' card and leave it at that. Don't waste your money or shipping costs on a gift, this girl obviously couldn't care less.

IMHO, she is incredibly rude, extremely tacky and not someone I would associate with in the future....

 

[cobbler]

I too would just send a card. Looks like she is looking for some free gifts. I mean how can you not get Thank you notes out much much sooner than that.

 

[Aimeedyan]

She sent that card because she KNEW baby shower invites were going out soon. Clever, and I guess thought you'd forget!

I love the wait 20 months bit.

Similar things have happened to me in the past, and i just don't acknowledge that I ever received anything.

 

[liznboys]

Wow, that is VERY tacky. I would not send a gift or card or anything. She doesn't sound like the kind of person I would want to associate with at all, let alone buy a gift for. People like that need a wake-up call!!

 

[poohandwendy]

I would not send a gift or card or anything. She doesn't sound like the kind of person I would want to associate with at all, let alone buy a gift for. People like that need a wake-up call!!

I hear what you are saying and my first thought was that she doesn't even deserve a card...BUT, I would send a card to make it very clear that I am aware of her tactics and there will be NO GIFT. If there is no response at all she could think you didn't receive the invite...I would want her to know that I purposely was not attending and not sending a gift.

 

[Rajah]

Wait 20 months then send a "Congrats!" card?

 

[goin2disneyagain]

Convenient timing on that thank you note. I wouldn't even waste my time sending a baby shower gift.

On a side note, several years ago I gave a best friend from high school a wedding gift in person and I hever to this day received a thank you card from her either. And she used to be one of my best friends. She won't get another gift from me either. Not sending a thank you gift or not sending one in a timely manner is just plain rude!!!!!

 

[Saffron]

LOL! That's very tacky!

I like to buy baby things so I'd probably send a gift for that reason alone. But if you don't want to, I wouldn't give it a second thought. I'm sure you not the only person just received a thank you note and a shower invitation and I'm sure you aren't the only person that has the feelings you have. I'm also sure the mom-to-be knows it too.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I suppose if you don't talk to her and don't want to rekindle a friendship then I would probably just ignore it. Kind of like letting it fade away.

 

[ilovepcot]

This goes beyond "tacky".....it's very conniving! If you're one who likes to do the "right thing", sending a nice card congratulating her on the baby's birth is totally proper. By doing that, it tells her that you know what she did. Also allows you to be able to look her right in the eye with no shame if you ever come face to face again.

 

[krissy3483]

Wow, I guess the only good thing is that you did not receive them in the mail together. That is very rude and tacky. I would send a card with a nice note inside, bubbling about how excited you were to finally hear from her....and twice even! I would definitely make it a point to let her know what she was doing, although I don't think I would come right out and say it. If she is one to take a hint though, she would definitely understand your point.

 

[epcotfan]

IMHO, she is incredibly rude, extremely tacky and not someone I would associate with in the future....

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[Pam]

I personally would pitch the invitation into the garbage and write the person off.