Am I being unreasonable?

[DisFlan]

He said he wants to go beacuse(these are his words) "She already likes you better than me."

Hmm. Wow. Not sure what to say to this. Except that you may have problems that are larger than not going to WDW.

DisFlan

 

[Scutapipig]

Hezreck, I think your heart is in the right place and I completely understand your frustration. It sounds like you are in caregiver overload, which believe me, I had a few moments of that myself over the last two weeks.

I love my husband more than anything, but there was a moment last week, where I didn't like him very much! Oh gosh! There's a story there worth repeating for laughter, but I just simply can't. As part of that story, I did however think about withholding his pain meds just to make him suffer. Evil, evil woman, I am! LOL

I won't say I wasn't disappointed in our vacation being cancelled, but I also knew that had I gone on vacation, I would have spent the better part of it a) missing hubby and b) telling myself, DH would LOVE this! Our trip wasn't to Disney, but rather to Gettysburg and Colonial Williamsburg. This was a big deal to our family since we are all history buffs.

I think what you're feeling is normal...and what you're husband is feeling is normal. You want to get out and about and he probably wants his whole back issue to disappear and never return. It's just another chapter in the Lesson Book of Life. Some of them are fun to read and others just plain stink.

Hang in there!

 

[hezreck]

Hezreck, I think your heart is in the right place and I completely understand your frustration. It sounds like you are in caregiver overload, which believe me, I had a few moments of that myself over the last two weeks.

I love my husband more than anything, but there was a moment last week, where I didn't like him very much! Oh gosh! There's a story there worth repeating for laughter, but I just simply can't. As part of that story, I did however think about withholding his pain meds just to make him suffer. Evil, evil woman, I am! LOL

I won't say I wasn't disappointed in our vacation being cancelled, but I also knew that had I gone on vacation, I would have spent the better part of it a) missing hubby and b) telling myself, DH would LOVE this! Our trip wasn't to Disney, but rather to Gettysburg and Colonial Williamsburg. This was a big deal to our family since we are all history buffs.

I think what you're feeling is normal...and what you're husband is feeling is normal. You want to get out and about and he probably wants his whole back issue to disappear and never return. It's just another chapter in the Lesson Book of Life. Some of them are fun to read and others just plain stink.

Hang in there!

Thanks Scutapipig!! It's nice to know that someone understands my frustration. I would give anything for my DH to be back to normal and not have to deal with this. And also get the family back to normal. But I guess you take what you get. And as people say, by December it may be better and this will be a non issue. We can only hope! Thanks to all for listening

 

[LindsayDunn228]

The part about you being paralized. But don't worry about it,

Someone commented, "He can take care of himself, he's not paralyzed," meaning he couldn't take care of himself if he was. I was just saying you can easily take care of yourself if you are paralyzed and that was a silly thing to say. But like I said, it was meant as a hyperbole, so just a little

 

[joanchris]

If he does have back problems, I think we will stay home and try to reschedule. But I think my DD will be very upset that she can't spend her birthday at Disney, and look at it like it's Daddy's fault that we can't go. I would try to explain to her that some things can't be helped. Thanks again for all the advice.

I have two DDs, one 7 the other 10...DD10 is multiply handicapped, gets sick often, used a wheelchair, seizures, etc. There have been many times when we could not do something that we had planned BECAUSE of DD10, however we try to be sure that it's not really put to her that way--we don't want her resenting her sister or her sister's disabilities.
All this is to be sure that your daughter does not see your postponment of your trip to be DADDY's FAULT. It can be..... we decided it would be better/cheaper/we could go longer etc, if we wait AND Daddy may be feeling better too....SO, on your birthday we'll do XYZ, and it will be great!

 

[HappyLawyer]

Someone commented, "He can take care of himself, he's not paralyzed," meaning he couldn't take care of himself if he was. I was just saying you can easily take care of yourself if you are paralyzed and that was a silly thing to say. But like I said, it was meant as a hyperbole, so just a little

Meaning if he was paralyzed then he might need some help it was not a silly thing to say it makes your point i meant he would need some type of assistance, heck don't we all at times fully mobile or not, it was not meant to sterotype anyone.

 

[daisax]

I told him if he couldn't go, he should take her somewhere just the two of them when he's feeling better.​

Sounds like he should do this whether or not the Disney trip stays on or off. Maybe just a full day going fishing or hiking in a state forest or something -- Father and Daughter. He can let her eat dessert first!

 

[babiesX2]

You never know, by December, he may be much improved.

Just my 2 cents. Please do what you think is best for you and your family.

DisFlan

This is what I was going to say.

 

[MarySB]

I haven't read everything posted on this thread, but I want to put in my "two cents worth", anyway.

I think you MAY be making a lot less of DH's back pain than you realize. I had back spasms several years ago. If any of you have been through "back labor" with any of your kiddos, you will understand what DH may be going through.

Asking that man to fly to Orlando and sit in a wheelchair MAY be more than he could handle. I mean, could you, if you were having back labor?

On the other hand, with lots of pain meds and PT, I was over the worst within a couple of weeks. So, the trip MAY not be out of the question, after all. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

 

[JPN4265]

We have a trip booked for Nov.29- Dec.6. Our DD8 birthday is Dec.1. It's just me, my DH and DD. Now let me back up and tell you my problem.

My DH had back surgery in Jan. (ruptured disc) Usually he's really good and his back doesn't bother him too much, but twice since the surgery his back has gone into spasms and it's takes a couple days off work until he's back up and around. Well, anyway, the trip is booked with dining plan and paid off.
My DH knows that there are penalties for cancelling a trip after 45 days prior and all that. Our DD is really looking forward to spending her birthday at Disney. I told my DH that if his back acted up and he couldn't go on the trip that I still wanted to go with our DD. He thought I was terrible, and shouldn't want to go without him. And basically told me, No way were we going without him and it was awful that I would even suggest it.

I know how much my DD would be upset if we couldn't go, and I would be upset too! My DH likes Disney, but the reason we are going is because my DD and I want to go. I really wanted to go this year too, because I don't want to take my DD out of school once she's in 4th grade. They miss too much then.

So back to my question. Am I being unreasonable to want to go with our DD? I'm not trying to exclude my DH, but I told him if I was sick and couldn't go I would want him to take her without me. Sure I'd be sad I wasn't there, but I don't want to make our DD miss out on this trip. And who knows, maybe his back will be fine and this won't be an issue, but I would like to have a plan just incase. Thanks for the replies.

My family have gone to WDW on a number of occasions without me. It makes me very happy that they can enjoy themselves without me. Also I don't mind the peace and quiet I get by staying at home by myself.

 

[TinyLolitaBunny]

see if it would be possible for him to go in a wheelchair if he has a back problem. My mom got her foot hurt on the way down once and we had to have her in a wheelchair the whole vacation but we all still enjoyed it. they will try to accomadate you on any rides they can and youll get on faster anyways so see if that is an option for him. its probably your best bet.

 

[SueM in MN]

My mom got her foot hurt on the way down once and we had to have her in a wheelchair the whole vacation but we all still enjoyed it. they will try to accomadate you on any rides they can and youll get on faster anyways so see if that is an option for him. its probably your best bet.

There are a few attractions where you might get on faster. There are some where you will wait longer (sometimes a lot longer). Most of the regular lines are wheelchair accessible, so you end up waiting the same as everyone one else.
In the end, with the few that you wait less, the few you wait more and the majority where you wait the same amount of time, it probably evens out.
So, anyway, don't count on a wheelchair saving you any waiting time.

If you would like more information about wheelchairs or ECVs (how to get them, pros and cons), there is more information in the disABILITIES FAQs thrad near the top of the disABILITIES Board.