Am I being too sensitive??

[crazee4mickey]

I am upset and am wondering am I over reacting----hope everyone doesn't mind that I'm here to vent(again)!

Just before Christmas my SIL tried to get me into Arbonne.
We were never really close but we did get along. For just over a month she phoned at least 4 times a week and bombarded us with emails asking about our family and taking an interest in us, all the while trying to get me to sign up with Arbonne.
We had never heard anything about Arbonne before but after "studying" up on it, we thought it appeared to be alot like a pyramid scheme (which by the way, people around here absolutely hate)she insisted it wasn't.
I told her that I loved the product and would gladly sell product but would not try to "lure" people in to sell "under" me. She had wanted me to sign up and I think the cost was between $2500-3000 US, she told me she did want me to sell product she wanted me to get others to work "under" me and that I was "under no pressure" to sign up.
I told her no that we could not afford it and in our small town I would feel very uncomfortable trying to get people to sign up under me so I could make a buck however I would have no problem selling the product. She did not want me selling, she wanted more people signed up.
She is in a very respectable job in the pharmaceutical field and told me she hopes to be able to quit her job to "do" Arbonne full time. She also has her kids saying things like "you have to wash with Arbonne soap" and giving little plugs for Arbonne.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing Arbonne because I do love their product but I do think she has gone overboard with the whole thing.
She was visibly angry that I wouldn't join her Arbonne team and has totally ignored us since I said no(other than coming up to the in-laws for Christmas for one day where she let us know by her actions that she was not having anything to do with us). I think the best way to describe how she treated me was "like the dirt under her feet"...dh couldn't believe the drastic change in her!
It wasn't good enough that I sell the product for her..... I just don't understand that!
Today she sends me an invitation for an Arbonne party that she is hosting in a meeting room at our local hotel!! They live almost 3 hours away.
She knows full well how I feel about this..........I cannot believe the nerve of her! Needless to say I will not be going(thankfully my DS 9 has hockey league playoffs right at the same time)

Am I being totally unreasonable(I have once before )
I feel so bad that this has come between our families.....

 

[luvwinnie]

That would drive me nuts. I think you did nothing wrong and she has "issues".

 

[lulugirl]

I think SIL is WAY out of line.
You should be able to just say "no thank you".....end of story.
I really dislike pushy people.

 

[mickeyboat]

You are not being unreasonable. She has no right to pressure you into making a commitment to somethingyou are not interested in. Personally I find your offer to sell the product more than generous.

It is really sad this has come between your families. What does your MIL think? Maybe it would be better not to involve her, but does she know what is going on?



Denae

 

[crazee4mickey]

Its nice to hear that I may not be over reacting....
It's so hard as she is married to DH's only brother and it has put a huge wedge in between our families(for us anyways as we never hear anything from them)

 

[horseshowmom]

We have a relative like this. I've heard the remark made by others in the family that if she calls, you know she's wanting something (mainly to buy or to get involved with whatever the latest thing is that she's involved with).

It's not your fault. You're not responsible for making her happy (I would feel just like you do).

 

[SC Minnie]

You aren't being unreasonable at all.

My exSIL sells Mary Kay and asked me to just have a party and I said No. I am not having anymore home parties. Period. End of discussion.

 

[Blondy876]

I started selling Beauticontrol products last year. I loved the products so I thought why not, I'll sell too. I hated it. I hated doing the "spa parties" (even though they are fun to go to), but most of all I hated the daily phone calls and emails from the women I signed up under telling me to "sell, sell, sell" and telling me how important it is to get others to sign up too. I'm just not pushy enough to do it so I stopped. Then I ran into the women at a Christmas party and she followed me around all night telling me that I should have worked harder and that she was dissappointed in me . I told her to get over it and leave me alone. She hasn't spoken to me since.

I don't think you did anything wrong, in fact you were very polite, she'll just have to get over it too.

 

[Disney Cakers]

She's gone waaaaay overboard. You did nothing wrong! I've sold my fare share of "stuff" (pampered chef, body shop) and I'd ask once. If my family members didn't show interest that was it. I can't stand being bothered by pushy people so I don't do it myself. That's why I don't do any of that anymore - I ended up hating it and all the sales pressure from upline Earning trips didn't motivate me either. I just pay for that myself thank you!

It's her loss. Way to go for not letting her "talk you into it" when you can't afford it and didn't want to

 

[golfgal]

The whole Amway scheme swept through our town several years ago and we know a lot of people that got into that. Some of them made money WHILE they were still actively recruiting people but once they stopped that, the checks stopped coming (which they said wouldn't happen). We got hit up so many times that it was VERY annoying. I am with you totally on this one. It is a big scam and you have every right to stand your ground. If the family wants to know what is up, tell them the truth, your SIL is trying to force you into what is most likely an illegal pyramid scheme.

 

[crazee4mickey]

You are not being unreasonable. She has no right to pressure you into making a commitment to somethingyou are not interested in. Personally I find your offer to sell the product more than generous.

It is really sad this has come between your families. What does your MIL think? Maybe it would be better not to involve her, but does she know what is going on?



Denae

My MIL had initially thought the same as us(she lives in our town as well) that it was a good oppurtunity until we checked into it beyond what SIL was telling us. Our town had one person who was big into Amway and tried to get people into it in very underhanded manners---it has made everyone here very leary about things like this.
MIL and FIL have also seen that SIL has very little to do with any of the family and that she, DH and kids have little to do with anyone outside the Arbonne group.
No one will say anything to her though.
Its causing stress all around....except with SIL and her family

 

[Disney Ella]

Your SIL is being a real idiot, sacrificing a good relationship with family because of money. A few years ago, friends of ours got into Amway (can't think of the new name for it) and we're a little miffed when we had no interest whatsoever in doing it. They used to hang out at the local grocery store looking for people to hit up. They bought into everything their uplines told them completely. Their plan was to quit their real jobs in two years and work exclusively with Amway - since they'd be making so much money. It's five years later and they're no longer doing Amway - never quit their real jobs either.

I would definitely be upset about the way your SIL treated you. You don't exist to make money for her!

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

I started selling Beauticontrol products last year. I loved the products so I thought why not, I'll sell too. I hated it. I hated doing the "spa parties" (even though they are fun to go to), but most of all I hated the daily phone calls and emails from the women I signed up under telling me to "sell, sell, sell" and telling me how important it is to get others to sign up too. I'm just not pushy enough to do it so I stopped. Then I ran into the women at a Christmas party and she followed me around all night telling me that I should have worked harder and that she was dissappointed in me .

Oooooo...don't you just HATE when people are disappointed in you?

I did Discovery Toys many years ago. I hated the same things you did. I should have known it wasn't for me, because I despise being "sold to". If I want to buy something, I will; don't hound me.

Reminds me of the episode of Designing Women...

Charlene becomes a part-time saleswoman for "Lady Jun" cleaning products, and when she repeatedly succumbs to psychological pressure from her friend Libby despite her stated intention to quit, Julia determines to rescue her from this "cult" -- and winds up taking on Lady Jun herself.

It annoys me to death when I suddenly hear from someone I haven't heard from in forever, and it's an invite to a home party.

 

[crazee4mickey]

Oooooo...don't you just HATE when people are disappointed in you?

I did Discovery Toys many years ago. I hated the same things you did. I should have known it wasn't for me, because I despise being "sold to". If I want to buy something, I will; don't hound me.

Reminds me of the episode of Designing Women... It annoys me to death when I suddenly hear from someone I haven't heard from in forever, and it's an invite to a home party.

I am soooo gullible .....here I believe they like me and want to be friends ---now I know better!

 

[crazyme5kids]

Just went to an Arbonne party last week. My coworker hosted the party and intends to sell it soon. I'm using the sample line for "mature" skin, but short of someone waving a magic wand over me, I don't think I will have the miraculous life changing expirience the sales woman claimed she and others have had by using the product. But what would I know, I'm not a big skin care makeuppy person anyway. And yes the basic premise of selling it is like a pyramid scheme.

 

[VSL]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You said you were uncomfortable with it, and she was the one who completely overreacted, putting money before family.

BTW, pyramid schemes are illegal (I think) in the UK - I thought they would be in the US, too.

 

[ilovepcot]

Take a deep breath and put this out of your mind. Won't be long at all before the SIL realizes what a mess she's gotten into and has to give it up herself. These things *rarely* go anywhere for most people. You'll see! (So will SIL!)

 

[DWDreams]

This reminds me of Amway, she'll figure it out sooner or later. You're not being too sensitive, but I wouldn't sweat it, either.

 

[crazee4mickey]

I don't think you're being unreasonable. You said you were uncomfortable with it, and she was the one who completely overreacted, putting money before family.

BTW, pyramid schemes are illegal (I think) in the UK - I thought they would be in the US, too.

We're in Canada, she's in the US and I don't know if they are illegal or not.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My neighbor started selling Arbonne. I went to her "party". The fact that they make you buy the "whole line" turns me off. I bought some inexpensive lotion (compared to the other prices) and that is it.