Am I a horrible parent if I use a harness?

[zillow]

I'm considering purchasing one for my son for our September trip. He's 14 months and extremely rambunctious. I know that he won't stay in the stroller all the time (haven't yet found one that he can't climb out of) and the moment he touches the ground, he'll be off. DH doesn't like the idea but I think that I'd rather be thought of as a horrible parent then lose my son (even temporarily).
Thanks for any advice...

 

[Jordan's MOM]

HORRIBLE, No way! Just a great mom that loves her child. I would suggest trying our a few different styles to see what works best for your son. It sounds like he is a master of escape!!! A harness type that he can not remover might be the best choice. Also you might want to practice with it before the trip. Some kids like to twist the lease around and around and others are pros at running off and catching other people in the lease. If you think he might try to escape the stroller, leaving it on him at all times and holding onto it anytime you stop the stroller would be good insurance. Also check out the thread on ID's for kids just in case you little escape artist pulls a fast one. Remind DH how much you both love your son and must do what ever it takes to keep him safe and you saine! Don't even consider what anyone else thinks. It's all about doing what is best for you and your son.


Jordan's mom

 

[lindaso]

I've honestly found that the only people offended by harnesses are people who are not yet parents. And those same people change their tune once they have a toddler and know the feeling of possibly losing him/her. It's not being a horrible parent, it's a responsible one IMO.

If you feel this will help your family, then don't give a second thought to what others think. If everyone will be miserable with the toddler in a stroller, then go for it. Better a safe harnessed kid than a lost kid, right? I've been fortunate that my kids will tolerate a stroller or being carried but I wouldn't hesitate to get a harness if I had a kid who didn't.

 

[gillis95]

We are going with our 18mo and I'm buying the chest harness and the hip carrier from onestepahead.com

Please read the "thread" entitled nearby "have you ever lost a child at Disney". When your eyes stop watering after reading the emotions these parents went through ask yourself that again!

Buy and use the harness. No question you'd feel guiltier if you don't and he did get away.

have fun and be safe.

 

[HappyMommy2]

Personally I don't see a huge difference between the harness you are talking about and a stroller, which has a harness (or at least a seatbelt) of its own. Both safely and comfortably restrain a child; both should be used judiciously.

We took the Safety 1st harness to WDW for our 17-month-old but ended up not using it as with so much to look at he was content in the stroller MUCH longer than he normally is; also, we found plenty of areas (like the Epcot and DTD fountains, Mission: Space playground/waiting area, Splash Mountain play area, etc.) where he and our 3yo could burn off some energy.

I say use a harness if your child is content with it and if you need it. Have a wonderful trip!

 

[4greatboys]

I would use a harness in a heartbeat. I never needed one with my first 2 but ds #3 is determined to run as far and as fast as he can everywhere. It gives them some freedom to walk on their own and gives you peice of mind they wont disappear into a crowd or a dangerous spot. My ds does not like to hold our hands and has a huge cow when you make him.
People who think badly of them have never needed one I guess.

 

[BevS97]

Use the harness! Your babys safety is so much more important than anythign else.

 

[disneyjunkie]

I would never use a harness, but I don't think those that do are awful.

Each parent has to do what he/she thinks is best for their child. If using the harness will make you feel better about your child's safety, then by all means use it.

 

[crisi]

Use a harness.

The same people who think you are a horrible parent for using one will be the first to blame you for not keeping an eye on your child if they get lost, like you can track a quickly moving fourteen month old through crowds....not that, by the way, you will give a darn what people think if your child gets seperated from you. Been there done that.

 

[Scratch42]

I used one when DD was smaller. It has not affected her in any way, shape or form! Oh she may "Neigh" ocassionally! Just Kidding!LOL

Safety First! And forget about the stares! They have not had the pleasure of having children yet!LOL

Scratch

 

[crisi]

Oh, Scratch, I'm sure there is someone out there who managed to take rambunctious two year old triplets to Disney, wouldn't dream of "treating their kids like dogs" didn't have any problems and had a wonderful time - and would tell you you "just need to keep an eye on them". They probably did it as a single parent as well. Those parents are always slightly unaware that God seems to have given them some sort of parenting superpower the rest of us missed out on.

 

[Scratch42]

Crisi, I have a friend just like that and guess what? Everytime we went anywhere with them, we spent countless hours looking for her kids because they always wondered off!

Scratch

 

[Mady/Sophiemom]

Definately use the harness.

Although, on our trip, my DD was a little over 2. Every morning she put herself in her stroller, before the rest of us were ready to leave. This is a child who NEVER would ride in a stroller.

We had the harness too. I tried to cover all the bases. SHe wore it from time to time.

Good luck and have fun.

 

[pstepka]

Yes, you would be horrible! It's MUCH better to either lose your son, or force him to sit strapped into the stroller while he's crying and throwing a fit!!!

Pam

p.s.
I would, however, leave the muzzle at home!!!

 

[jlieblaw]

I always thought they looked like dog leashes and said I wouldn't use them. Then we took my 1 yr. old dd to Gatlinburg last year and I bought her one. She loved it and everyone kept asking where I got it. She liked being able to walk by herself instead of us carrying her or putting her in a stroller. Now, she does currently think she's a dog but hopefully that's not due to the harness. By the way, we also took her to disney last year and she rode really well in the stroller and she normally hates the stroller. I think we wore her out enough on the rides so that she liked not walking. My reasons for possibly not taking the harness this year is that we'll have 5 adults watching her plus she gets hot very easily and I'd hate for her to get a heat rash from the chest harness.

 

[Jailen's Gma]

As a grandmother, I used a harness on my grandson when he was 2 and 3 years old. As a mother, I used a harness on my son. Going to Disney or any other place where there is a large crowd of people I would use one. My child and grandchild are worth alot more than crazy looks from people. And look at it this way, you are not going to see these people again anyway.

 

[Waggy182]

Well said, Crisi, regarding the missed superpowers.

Our standard (and favorite) statement to the ones that looked at us with contempt and spat "I can't believe you'd treat her like a dog!" was "Better than seeing her face on a milk carton. . ."

Man, you want to talk about speechless! The looks on their faces when we responded with that one were PRICELESS! Oh, God bless the silver-tounged!

We had our share of supporters, also, who actually out-numbered the naysayers 10 to 1. But blasting that one out of ten was always liberating.

GO FOR IT, AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK!

God bless you and yours.

 

[zillow]

Thank you all for your responses. You've made me feel better (and laugh too). I also read the lost child post and that was extremely convincing as well. I'm definitely going to get one andAnyone have recommendations on a harness? I used to be judgemental when I saw them before I was a parent - now I understand. Waggy182, thanks for the great quip - I hope you don't mind if I borrow it (just in case). Honestly my 4 year old was not like this at all. I think my son must be part monkey, hmm, maybe I should look into a cage as well? (KIDDING! KIDDING!)
Thanks Again!

 

[djm99]

Originally posted by lindaso
I've honestly found that the only people offended by harnesses are people who are not yet parents.

Very well said, Also those people who have forgotten what is like to have a toddler run away from you - and as a parent you immediately go in panic mood. Also, for those who are offended would be the first ones to shake their heads in shame (God forbide) that something unthinkable happens to a child while at disney or anywhere for that matter.

As a parent you should know your children and if they have ran away from you before buy or make whatever to keep them near you. I read a board from a women whose toddler ran away from her, got lost in this huge crowd at disney and she felt her body shut down completely. Thank goodness the child was found but that could have saved that womens panic attack if she would have had a harness. To be honest I'm offended by anyone who is offended by a mother who wants to secure their children. So go for it Mom!!! Also there is a board question of "Have you lost a child at WDW". Those stories really freaked me out. I was so frightened I went out and bought my daughter an identification bracelet, a harnest, and a monitor thing that she wears as a necklace and I have the other piece (it beeps and vibrates once she is 3 feet away from me. Do whatever it takes to secure your child!!!!

 

[goofy4tink]

In the words of Bob, the piano man from POR...."Hey, you're never going to see these people again!!" I used a harness and a wrist-type leash on my dd. She was brutal!! She is now a very good preschool teacher and says more people should be so caring about their children. Go for it.