Allergy free school frustration

[LuvBaloo]

DD just started grade 2. Last year we knew the school is peanut free. This year, there is a child with latex allergy, so all kids have to buy latex free school supplies. Now the first day of school she comes home with a newsletter and somebody in the school has a tomato allergy. So now, no peanuts, no latex, no tomatoes!

I understand its easiest to just make the entire school allergen free, but I don't think its fair. DD's favorite sandwich is peanut butter, she looks forward to Pro-d days when she can have PB in her lunch (her daycare isn't peanut free). Another favorite of DD's is to take cherry tomatos in her lunch, and now that's off the list.

I had severe allergies as a child, my mother is severly lactose intolerant, my nephew was allergic to milk when young (if it touched him, he got hives, he didn't have to consume it, just touch it). We work around it. If we weren't sure if the food was safe, we don't eat it. I think it better for the kids to learn to handle their allergy instead of making the whole school free of the product. When they go other places its not allergy free.

I'm venting a little and wondering if any parents with allergic kids actually feel better when schools take this approach.

 

[jagafen]

I completely "get" you....just be warned, you may be opening a can of worms here!!!

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

I totally agree with you. I wouldn't be happy if ds couldn't take things he eats in his lunch.

 

[TaraPA]

Oh I'm so with you! And let me just say that my DS11 DOES have food allergies!!! I would never inconvenience all the others in the majority of the school population that do NOT have food allergies by asking for the room or school to be allergan-free, never. DS11 learned, as hard as it was sometimes, what he could & could not eat. The teacher was always notified & thankfully we had some good ones who kept an eye on things, but I would just never impose my son's situation on all the other kids who wanted to enjoy a PB&J sandwich.

The whole latex-free school supply list - that's insane. Maybe that kid's parents would like to purchase them for you?

And yes, I know I'm opening up a can of worms with the OP on this one. I'm just so sick of the whole allergan-free classroom!

 

[Maggie'sMom]

My DD's daycare is peanut free, but her school is not. She's very happy the days she is at school so she can have peanut butter in her lunch.

I do understand and sympathize with the reasons behind the peanut and latex bans. Those are both allergies where even a little dust from the peanut or latex can cause a life-threatening reaction. And peanut butter residue can stick to little hands and get spread. But no tomatoes? That one I think is going a little overboard. It seems like that should be pretty easy to contain and keep away from the allergic child.

 

[momma of 2]

My ds3 has a dairy allergy. Luckly for him, it is not severe enough that he would react if someone was around him with it. I do have a friend whos son has a severe peanut allergy, if he is around it he has reactions. In my sons preschool class we found out today that it is now a peanut free and gluten free building along with no dairy or eggs in the snacks. Wow. I was going to just take my son is snack everyday so I knew for myself that what he was eating was ok. I have mixed feelings about the whole "free" building thing. One aspect you could have a kid who has a reaction just by being around an item but the other aspect it is not fair to those kids who have no problems and who love the stuff. I feel better knowing that there will be nothing there that he can't have. I understand your frustration

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

OMG! No peanuts, no gluten, no dairy, no eggs? What on earth is there left? LOL

 

[LuvBaloo]

I think the latex free school supplies would be less frustrating, if they just told us to bring some money to school, and then they supply the kids. Most things aren't labelled very well, so its just avoid squishy plastic and pink erasers, but all the pencils have pink erasers on the ends, so I just sent her with the ones I already had, and if its a problem, the school can cut the erasers off her pencils. I do not want to cause somebody else's child to go into convulsions or anything, I just wish they made it simpler.

I think the frustration comes when the tomato one got added. I wonder what new allergy will come into the school next year?

 

[Lilogirl]

Oh I'm so with you! And let me just say that my DS11 DOES have food allergies!!! I would never inconvenience all the others in the majority of the school population that do NOT have food allergies by asking for the room or school to be allergan-free, never. DS11 learned, as hard as it was sometimes, what he could & could not eat. The teacher was always notified & thankfully we had some good ones who kept an eye on things, but I would just never impose my son's situation on all the other kids who wanted to enjoy a PB&J sandwich.

The whole latex-free school supply list - that's insane. Maybe that kid's parents would like to purchase them for you?

And yes, I know I'm opening up a can of worms with the OP on this one. I'm just so sick of the whole allergan-free classroom!

Both my DD and I have allergies. And we do NOT expect the world to change for us (and yes the allergies are severe and air borne). I think a "allergy free ANYTHING" is a false sense of security. I am teaching my dd how to LIVE with her allergy and not live in a bubble.

 

[LuvBaloo]

My ds3 has a dairy allergy. Luckly for him, it is not severe enough that he would react if someone was around him with it. I do have a friend whos son has a severe peanut allergy, if he is around it he has reactions. In my sons preschool class we found out today that it is now a peanut free and gluten free building along with no dairy or eggs in the snacks. Wow. I was going to just take my son is snack everyday so I knew for myself that what he was eating was ok. I have mixed feelings about the whole "free" building thing. One aspect you could have a kid who has a reaction just by being around an item but the other aspect it is not fair to those kids who have no problems and who love the stuff. I feel better knowing that there will be nothing there that he can't have. I understand your frustration

Thanks for your comments from the parents perspective. I think kids start to learn fairly early what they have to avoid. I can understand the airborne ones being a problem.
For other ones I think kids have to learn and can learn. My nephew knew by the time he was 3 to ask if something was safe before he ate it. It was very funny at his parents wedding: my nephew (2.5yo) was told to ask his uncle what foods on the buffet he could eat. That way there was one person not in the wedding party to look out specifically for him. If anybody else offered him food he would not take it. His uncle wasn't sure about some things so erred cautiously and told him no. Then when the mom came and told him it was ok, nephew still wouldn't eat it, because uncle had said it wasn't safe and he'd been told to listen to uncle for what was safe.

 

[Luhts]

The school can never guarantee to a parent with a child suffering from severe allergies that the school is completely safe. Even with the peanut ban, whose to say that a child didn't have peanut butter before school and then not washed their hands after? Or got it on their school notebook? And not all parents are going to adhere to a ban anyway.
I don't think banning is the answer. Awareness, and instruction on what to do incase of a reaction is better.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this frustration. I guess she will have to have her cherry tomatoes as an after-school snack from now on.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

DS came home this year with a peanut allergy letter re: a student who has a peanut allergy. The school is not peanut free and there is a special area in the cafeteria that is cleaned special. Now do to laws and privacy we are not allowed to know who this student is. (kids are smart the child is in the 3rd. grade, DS in the 8th.) Their paths will not cross. BUT we were given a list of approved lunches and snacks DS can bring into school. Most of the approved items were expensive items that I can not afford. We shop generic store brands. I can not afford to change and will not. I will stop PBJ sandwiches as DS isn't thrilled with them and peanut butter crackers can stay home. I am not totally unsympathetic.

Now DD has a very close friend who has a peanut allergy that can react from smell alone. She went to a very small school. This child was educated what he could and could not have and would leave for a bit if someone was eating a restricted item, then the kids would clean the table. They ate together for 9years together and never had a problem.

I had no problem calling the school today and gave my permission to tell the family who's child has the allergy that my son would still be bringing in his normal treats (I am talking things like fruit snacks, NOT PBJ's) and they could keep their child away from mine. Guess I won't be popular on this board tonight!

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

Why were fruit snacks banned?

 

[melafive]

Seriously? My son was diagnosed with a corn allergy two years ago. While he can eat some now, I can't imagine if the whole school had to go corn free. I realize that peanut and latex can be really serious but there are cases where a corn allergy can be life threatening too. Corn, in one way or another, is in everything. I say they are doing these kids an injustice by not teaching them to deal with their allergy.

 

[HETRICKL]

It looks like I'm going to be in the minority here, but here it goes. Although I empathize with the frustration of having banned foods, please trust that it is a completely different set of frustrations being a parent of a child with life threatening food allergies.

My daughter has 3 severe food allergies. We have to carry 2 epi-pens with her at all times and have seen our fair share of the emergency rooms.

The food allergies to shellfish and mangos, I don't think of as that severe in school because I'm hoping that most elementary kids aren't eating these foods at school. She does have a life threatening allergy to tree nuts which is severe like peanut allergies.

The false sense of thinking that you have to learn to live with them and what you can eat and not is much harder than you would think if you're not managing a food allergy on a daily basis.

Manufacturers do have to list ingredients of the top 8 food allergens, however they do not have to note if items are manufactured on those same production lines. Even traces of these foods can cause potential life threatening dangers to those who are allergic to it.

My daughter cannot be at a friends house without a trained person able to give her epi-pen. She cannnot be left at birthday parties without a parent. She cannot eat any food brought into the classroom for birthdays, parties...She cannot eat safely at most restaurants and cannot eat the school cafeteria food.

Yes, we have learned that we have to deal with these situations. And although, you might be frustrated that you cannot serve a food item that your child likes at school, please try to understand that peanut butter can kill those with life threatening food allergies.

Unfortunately you cannot control kids at school who consume these foods, perhaps have peanut residue on their hands, touch the same lunch table that an allergic child touches and now the reaction begins for that child.

You are right, it is impossible to control every environment and we have to deal with what we must. However, every reaction my child has to her allergen makes the next one that much more severe. If ingesting her allergens would simply make her break out in hives and be uncomfortable it would be one thing, but we are talking about the fact that she can actually stop breathing.

Now while this may be frustrating for you, imagine how you would feel if every time you sent your child to school you had to fear whether or not they would come home alive because they sat next to a child who had to just have that peanut butter sandwich today.

 

[Xcited4Disney]

Growing up, there was no such thing as an allergy free school and guess what? we made it through! I never even heard of such a thing until just a few years ago.

My two nephews both have food allergies: nuts, eggs, chocolate, etc. They were taught at home what they could and could not eat and they carry that info with them in school, camp, afterschool, parties, etc. If they are not sure about something, they just don't eat it. The school is aware and the nurse has their epipens if God forbid they get an allergic reaction to something. I agree with other PP; awareness is key and teaching your kids how to live with an allergy. It IS possible. Btw, my nephews are 8 and 11.

 

[bjeannep]

My DD7 has a child in her class who is allergic to peanuts, milk, eggs, all tree nuts and something else. The school has banned peanut products for snack time, but at lunch, anyone with a PBJ or PB product get to sit at a special table and the trash is then disposed of in sealed bags. Lastly, the kids all are then supervised to make sure they wash their hands properly.

The student with the allergies knows exactly what he can and can't have and if he is unsure he just says no. Also, when it comes to school parties, his mom always makes sure he has something special that he can eat.

I think the school that banned the milk, eggs, gluten etc is putting a real stress on other parents, especially those who are living on a budget. I completely understand the need to keep children safe, but these allergens are hidden in products and would require a lot of education for parents.

 

[SLK1]

It can be so frustrating and sad for the parents of the child with allergies, and also tough when ALL your kid will eat is peanut butter, so they will go without lunch in order to keep with the "no peanut" policy. Our school has the peanut-free table because if you ban all peanuts, you are lulled into a false sense of security...eventually someone WILL bring in peanuts by mistake. How awful for the child, parents, school, and the people who inadvertently sent it in!

I'm wondering if I were a parent of a child with such severe reactions - I think I would probably home-school them. Why put them at risk? Why leave it up to other kids and other parents to keep my child safe?

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

As the mother of a child with tree nut allergies I have taught my child to read labels and ask questions. When in doubt she doesn't eat something. Last year and the year before they put her in the class with the boy with peanut allergies and their classroom was nut free. At lunch the kids could have pbj though. Neither child was severly allergic. There are epipens at the school for the children in case of emergency. So far the school as a whole hasn't banned anything and I don't think they will.

I just want the parents to be aware so they try to be careful when they send in stuff for parties. I do send a snack in with my daughter on those days so if the food isn't okay for her she has something else.

I am lucky that my daughter does not have severe allergies. My heart goes out to families who do suffer with life threatening allergies.

 

[Beth E. (NJ)]

So far this is a very nice discussion but I've seen this topic become a heated debate. If that happens here the thread will be closed and points/infractions may be given out.

Please share your opinions but do not fight.

Thank you!