Airplane seat etiquette!

[livndisney]

But see why take an almost passive aggressive approach. Most people are reasonable. Honestly, your approach would tick me off more and I'd probably ignore you. Instead just be straightforward..."Excuse me sir or maam... I'm sorry, but we are really cramped back here and have our baby with us. Would it be at all possible for you to please not recline your seat all the way back.. if you could even do it halfway I would be so very appreciative." yes, you might get a tool who will say no... most people will help you out.

Why would saying "No" make someone a "tool"? I have a family member with severe back issues. Sitting upright is painful if not impossible some days. Leaning back-"reclining" relieves pain. To look at this person you would not know. Jabbing your knees into her back as someone said her DH does .

She does make the airline aware of her medical needs (she is alot of fun at security LOL). I don't see how saying no makes someone rude.

 

[SLK1]

When you're 6'4 flying in economy, there's no other place to PUT your knees. I am 6' and fly 10-15 times a year, and my knees almost always touch the back of the seat in front of me, and when they recline, it makes it worse!

I typically don't recline unless my flight is longer than 2 hours. If someone asks me to sit my chair up, I do. I typically always ask the person behind me if it would be alright to recline for a bit. Being courteous always makes people happier, and easier to work with if you're having a problem.

 

[Belle4mygrl]

I have never reclined my seat-- common courtesy. And I have been fortunate no one has reclined in front of me.

I would prefer if I wanted to recline that the person would politely ask and state why. makes the flight much more friendlier.

 

[taitai]

I would prefer if I wanted to recline that the person would politely ask and state why. makes the flight much more friendlier.

It would never in a million years occur to me to have to explain my actions to a complete stranger on a plane. Would I need to tell my seat mates why I chose to use the tray table? Get up to use the bathroom? Order a beer or coke?

If the person wants to recline, they should be able to. They have their reasons. If the tragically small space alloted to each passenger in the coach section of pretty much every airline is insufficient, then bump up to business or first or drive or don't go. We all make choices.

taitai

 

[crisi]

I know a few people who do this... generally, they say the reclining helps their lower back and the lean forward helps their upper back. All anecdotal of course.

I've been there. I have a spasmy back - generally upright is more comfortable. Sometimes reclining is more comfortable. And sometimes reclining the seat to put some pressure on my lumbar while leaning forward provides relief.

 

[lovemyguys]

Here is what I find interesting in reading this thread. All the people that recline say that the person behind them should ask them nicely if they would put their seat up a little. BUT yet, do not feel that they need to either see if the person is using their tray, is very tall and has no space as it is or polity let the person know that they are reclining. Why do you not have to have the same "manners" that you want others to have towards you? I also find it funny (not saying any of you) that everyone I have seen on a plane recline back are quick to put their seat back in the upright position once the snacks are served! I guess that you could look at it another way. If you have a medical condition that requires you to recline your seat all the way then maybe YOU should be the one buying first class tickets. Imagine if your on a business trip and doing some work on your computer. I then recline all the way (I never have) and you can no longer use your computer properly. Are you going to high-five me when we get off the plane for using "what I have a right to use" or are you going to be bothered that you were in the middle of doing something and using the space infront of you when I decided that I needed to rest? Take it up a notch. Imagine if I let my 6 yr old recline his seat all the way and you can not use your tray or are cramped. Are you thinking "well they paid for the seat, the airlines allow reclining so I will just sit here and maybe they will eventually put the seat in an upright position so I can finish what I am doing?" Because even though he is 6 and does not NEED to recline and will probably not even sit in a reclined postion the whole flight but will want to keep his seat that way he has the right to do that b/c we paid for the seat. Remember, you need to ask us nicely if you want us to put the seat up AND we have the right to say no.

 

[livndisney]

Here is what I find interesting in reading this thread. All the people that recline say that the person behind them should ask them nicely if they would put their seat up a little. BUT yet, do not feel that they need to either see if the person is using their tray, is very tall and has no space as it is or polity let the person know that they are reclining. Why do you not have to have the same "manners" that you want others to have towards you? I also find it funny (not saying any of you) that everyone I have seen on a plane recline back are quick to put their seat back in the upright position once the snacks are served! I guess that you could look at it another way. If you have a medical condition that requires you to recline your seat all the way then maybe YOU should be the one buying first class tickets. Imagine if your on a business trip and doing some work on your computer. I then recline all the way (I never have) and you can no longer use your computer properly. Are you going to high-five me when we get off the plane for using "what I have a right to use" or are you going to be bothered that you were in the middle of doing something and using the space infront of you when I decided that I needed to rest? Take it up a notch. Imagine if I let my 6 yr old recline his seat all the way and you can not use your tray or are cramped. Are you thinking "well they paid for the seat, the airlines allow reclining so I will just sit here and maybe they will eventually put the seat in an upright position so I can finish what I am doing?" Because even though he is 6 and does not NEED to recline and will probably not even sit in a reclined postion the whole flight but will want to keep his seat that way he has the right to do that b/c we paid for the seat. Remember, you need to ask us nicely if you want us to put the seat up AND we have the right to say no.

That goes two ways. If YOU need the space for a baby, YOU should be the one buying the baby a seat.

 

[Happiest mommy]

I have a very bad back and need to recline even if it isnt much, I have traveled with a lap child and really the baby was not crushed when the passenger in front of me reclined I would not ask the person in front of me not to recline it was a choice I made not to buy an additional seat.

 

[lovemyguys]

That goes two ways. If YOU need the space for a baby, YOU should be the one buying the baby a seat.

I DO buy my baby a seat. Where did YOU ever read in my posts that I did not?? I also NEVER said anything in my posts about needing the space for a baby. Confused how you read my posts but came away with the reply that you did?

 

[surfgirl]

It would never in a million years occur to me to have to explain my actions to a complete stranger on a plane. Would I need to tell my seat mates why I chose to use the tray table? Get up to use the bathroom? Order a beer or coke?

taitai

totally agree!

taitai, they are picking on me on the 'other site' where I'm a 'mom' instead of a 'girl' : ) thanks for all your support ... they are now piling on. I'm giving up.

 

[livndisney]

I DO buy my baby a seat. Where did YOU ever read in my posts that I did not?? I also NEVER said anything in my posts about needing the space for a baby. Confused how you read my posts but came away with the reply that you did?

The OP started the thread with needing space for the baby. I offered a medical reason why someone may say no and recline. Your post (which I highlighted the part I was responding to) suggested those with a medical need should purchase a seat in business class. I responded in a "general" way that your "arguement" could go both ways. Heck I don't even know if you have a baby-not my business. Just wanted to present another side.

 

[taitai]

totally agree!

taitai, they are picking on me on the 'other site' where I'm a 'mom' instead of a 'girl' : ) thanks for all your support ... they are now piling on. I'm giving up.

I know they are. I have been trying to support you but it has gotten out of control so I am just not looking anymore. I just don't think they get it. However, I am thrilled that I am not the only one who feels the way we do. I was beginning to think that maybe I was the one who just didn't get it.

 

[kinntj]

Here is what I find interesting in reading this thread. All the people that recline say that the person behind them should ask them nicely if they would put their seat up a little. BUT yet, do not feel that they need to either see if the person is using their tray, is very tall and has no space as it is or polity let the person know that they are reclining. Why do you not have to have the same "manners" that you want others to have towards you?

So you would want everyone who wants to recline to take the seatbelt off, get up, turn around and see what the person behind them is doing before reclining? I think the FA's would have something to say, if people did that EVERY time they reclined.

I'm of average height and weight. I fit nicely in my seat. The tall people, people with laptops, women with babies are the ones with special circumstances. Women and men who are too large for their seats now have to buy 2 seats if they can't fit comfortably into one. Are they suppose to ask the person sitting next to them, if they wouldn't mind having them sit partly on their seat so they don't have to purchase the extra seat?

 

[maxiesmom]

When you're 6'4 flying in economy, there's no other place to PUT your knees. I am 6' and fly 10-15 times a year, and my knees almost always touch the back of the seat in front of me, and when they recline, it makes it worse!

Wouldn't it make more sense for you to be proactive then? You can book an exit seat row which will give you more room. Or a bulkhead seat. Or even upgrade to business class. All of those things will make your flight more comfortable, without having to rely on the person ahead of you not reclining.

To some of the other posters: The seats are made to recline. People are not doing anything wrong by reclining their seats. You may not like it, but they are well within their rights to do so. If it bothers you so much, maybe you should upgrade your ticket so that you have more room.

 

[lovemyguys]

So you would want everyone who wants to recline to take the seatbelt off, get up, turn around and see what the person behind them is doing before reclining? I think the FA's would have something to say, if people did that EVERY time they reclined.

I'm of average height and weight. I fit nicely in my seat. The tall people, people with laptops, women with babies are the ones with special circumstances. Women and men who are too large for their seats now have to buy 2 seats if they can't fit comfortably into one. Are they suppose to ask the person sitting next to them, if they wouldn't mind having them sit partly on their seat so they don't have to purchase the extra seat?

Oh now your sounding pretty silly to me. Why would the FA have a problem with it? Is it going to throw the balance of the plane off?? First of all if you have the aisle seat just lean over and look behind you. You can also EASILY just look through the crack between the seats. You can see the people behind you. I can bet that if my son was swinging his legs and banging your seat you would easily find a way to get our attention.

Ok I am 5'3, 119 pounds. I fit just fine. I buy my baby a seat. But if I am using my tray to do something YES I think it is rude for you to just recline all the way back. I have a right to use my tray as much as you have a right to recline. Like I said earlier. If you were already reclined I would not try to push up your seat and say that I have a right to use my tray so sit up some? Why is it any different for you not to have the same respect that I would give you?

 

[Kaler131]

I hear so much talk on disboards about "my right to x is not trumped by your right to y", whether its a non-handicapped person using the companion restrooms with children in strollers, 9 year old boys traumatizing girls by being in the ladies bathroom with thier mothers, or people who are terribly put upon by declining to recline during a short flight in order to afford thier neighbor some comfort. We get so hung up on our "rights" we neglect to be good people, which is unfortunate, since as they say, karma is a beyotch.

Ultimately I *hope* most of us, however opinionated we are with strangers on a internet bulletin board, are better people in real life who can choose to sit upright with a less than optimal level of comfort in order to keep from realllly inconveincing our neighbor behind.

I have little kids, though both will be past the lap stage on our next trip, and believe me, I have been there, done that and got the tshirt. I would be more than happy to sit upright to give you a little space. Tall guy/girl that goes for you too; I might not notice you back there- so don't get mad at me for not checking you when I sit down and intuiting that I shouldn't recline- but if you ask politely I will be happy to do what I can to make the ride more tolerable for you. I promise you that I will be more than happy to treat you as I would wish to be treated- not as you deserve for not having planned differently, not as you deserve for daring to ask me to give up a tiny fraction of comfort- nope, I will treat you as I would like someone to treat me if ever I was in a similar circumstance, without judgement or huffiness.

Luckily there are a lot of people out there like me, who will happily accomodate. So I think you will be fine... and if you get someone who looks like they really need the space or can't or would prefer not to sit upright, then at least its only 2 hrs.

Good luck and have a great trip!

Absolutely!!

 

[crisi]

There are a lot of people here who don't recline or ask if they can recline.

I am probably on a dozen or so flights a year between business or pleasure. I've never had someone ask if they can recline. And about 80% of the time or more, the person in front of me does recline.

Which isn't to say people are rude. I've had people give up seats so I can sit near my kids (and I've given up mine). I've had people ask if I've wanted some of their brought on board snacks. I once spent a flight from Boston with all three of us watching a movie on my laptop - and when the battery gave out, switching over to the other passenger's laptop. As uncomfortable as flying is, everyone seems to do their best to keep in more comfortable. But the reality is most people recline their seats and they don't ask.

And since most people recline their seats, if I don't recline mine and the person in front of me reclines theirs, I'm even more space restricted than I started. This may be ok, or it may not be. If my laptop is open, I need to recline if the person in front of me does.

 

[yitbos96bb]

So your rude behavior justifies there behavior? You pushing into the seat is OK??

What the heck is wrong with simply ASKING them not to recline all the way back in a polite way? Honestly, I'll tell you this, I would call the FA if you were rude enough to start pushing my seat up... And I'd bet money that if I want my seat to go down, its going down. I'm a reasonable person and would be happy to lean my seat upright part way if someone simply asked, but your rude behavior would not be tolerated.

Oh now your sounding pretty silly to me. Why would the FA have a problem with it? Is it going to throw the balance of the plane off?? First of all if you have the aisle seat just lean over and look behind you. You can also EASILY just look through the crack between the seats. You can see the people behind you. I can bet that if my son was swinging his legs and banging your seat you would easily find a way to get our attention.

Ok I am 5'3, 119 pounds. I fit just fine. I buy my baby a seat. But if I am using my tray to do something YES I think it is rude for you to just recline all the way back. I have a right to use my tray as much as you have a right to recline. Like I said earlier. If you were already reclined I would not try to push up your seat and say that I have a right to use my tray so sit up some? Why is it any different for you not to have the same respect that I would give you?

 

[yitbos96bb]

I was more referring to someone who did not have medical or size issues and was not willing at all to move up part way... I also was referring to someone in your family members situation who would respond rudely instead of saying... I'm sorry I have a medical condition and I have to have this reclined or its just too painful.

Just saying no doesn't make them a tool... its the attitude. I should have been clearer.

Why would saying "No" make someone a "tool"? I have a family member with severe back issues. Sitting upright is painful if not impossible some days. Leaning back-"reclining" relieves pain. To look at this person you would not know. Jabbing your knees into her back as someone said her DH does .

She does make the airline aware of her medical needs (she is alot of fun at security LOL). I don't see how saying no makes someone rude.

 

[yitbos96bb]

I haven't read this whole thread but IMHO, people who recline their seats are just plain rude! I NEVER recline my seat. Frankly, it doesn't go back far enough to make a difference to who is sitting in it, but it makes a world of difference to the person sitting behind me. My DH is 6'4" and when someone reclines, he just jams his knees in because it is so ridiculous. So, be kind, DON'T recline!!

That's fine for you. Many of us are extremely uncomfortable when we sit straight upright.

Hate to break it to some of you... the DEFAULT is that people can recline. THAT'S WHY its on you to act like functioning people of society and politely ask the person in front of you if they can help you out. If the seats weren't meant to recline.... THEY WOULDN'T RECLINE!